NHS officials have confirmed reports that health minister Jeremy Hunt has been hacked.
“Since his initial appointment as health minister in 2012 we have been working on the assumption that Hunt was a particularly pernicious form of malware,” he said.
“However, after his bizarre claims about nurses salaries being higher than they are earlier this week it became apparent that he has been hacked,” he explained.
“His announcement that he was introducing “pay per view” for patient records, confirmed it,” he added.
Reactions to the news from NHS personnel have been mixed;
This smacks of another nominative determinist stunt by a rhyming slang gang ,” suggested a senior cardiologist confirming that his own examination of Hunt’s medical records raised serious questions over what operating system he is running.
“It appears he has no heart, and the only soul recorded is the one between his arse cheeks he insists on speaking out of – frankly he’d be better off running Linux and shareware,” he said explaining that NHS proctologists would work day and night in an effort to restore some form of normal function.
“We’re not hopeful, but fortunately his record as a politician has been extensively backed up in the right wing media so we have plenty of evidence of his crimes….err, I mean symptoms of his “malaise”,” he added.
Other NHS employees were less charitable.
“Been hacked has he? Asked one student nurse emerging from a food bank, carrying three tins of beans and a bag of flour meant to last her a week.
“Pity it wasn’t with an axe……. like the one he took to hospital IT budgets,” she snorted.
