Thousands come together for eye testing

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Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits. One attendee told us,...

Rochdale sex romp for Ozone Day

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Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after...

Trump redefines Pre-existing Conditions as type of terror

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A new kind of terrorism is trying to destroy the great American dream, according to the Trump Administration today. “Pre-existing conditions are trying to ruin...
bottles of water

New Juice Plus rival Juice Minus to include ‘no juice’

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It's that time of the year again when everyone makes doomed to fail resolutions but, fear not, there's a new product on the market...

Celebrities reveal best detox is to take money from idiots

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Celebrities have allegedly been explaining how the best detox is to take money from idiots. In a statement celebrity food blogger Andrew Coconut Fox said,...

Coronavirus maybe more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith warns Government

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The Government is warning that Coronavirus could be more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith. The warning comes as the number of cases in Britain...
Refugee Doctor

Cholera stricken Yemenis welcome arrival of western homeopaths

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Authorities in Yemen have welcomed the arrival of western homeopaths in its battle against a recent Cholera outbreak. Larisa Ahmad told us, "We welcome the...

NHS Complimentary Medicine Services near collapse

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The Emergency Services and NHS Trusts in London & the South East areas are reported to be within 24 hours of collapse. Since the vote...

Well I’ve never caught anything off my kids before, Facebook mum lies

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Before 2020, Rochdale mum Di Coughlan had rarely posted anything other than pictures of her adorable children and grimacing husband.  That all changed a...

World Health Organisation on standby as UK confirms youngest ever case of man-flu

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Officials at the World Health Organisation have raised the threat level of a global pandemic to full alert.

Man receives bravery award for going into work with Cold

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A Rochdale man was praised for his bravery and selfless act of dedication this morning after he heroically battled through the worst cold he...
Hospital

Tories promise extra floor space and 50,000 more coats in the 40 new hospitals...

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The Conservative Party has released its newest manifesto pledge to increase A&E floor space in the 40 hospitals they are definitely not building, as...

Man that failed GCSE Science now an expert in pediatrics

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A Rochdale man who failed GCSE Science has revealed he's an expert on pediatrics and specializes in treatments for Pneumonia. Bill Board loudly announced...
Tory

NHS Commodore 64 hacked with ‘ransom cassette’

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The NHS is in a state of crisis after its computer was hacked earlier today. Patients requiring emergency care are being re-routed to different hospitals around...

Racists awarded PIP’s under new mental health provisions

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Penny Mordor MP, Secretary of State for Disabled People, Work and Health announced this morning wide ranging changes to the qualification criteria for PIP (Personal Independence...

NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt

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A government source told us yesterday that  robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis. Dr...

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