Total Coincidence that Virgin hospital take over and massive NHS cuts announced while parliament...

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The Conservative Party today claimed once again that the NHS is "safe" in their hands, and denied that huge cuts to NHS services will...

Naked gym guy insists “I’m just high on life”

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Reports are circulating that a middle aged man stripped stark bollock naked last night at local budget gym, LoveMuscle. Eyewitnesses claim he was beating his...
Doctors

Increase in breast injuries as Brexit voters admit to feeling right tits

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The number of women reporting breast injuries has increased dramatically since June 2016, according to Dr Feltham Bubiz, head of Unspeakable Female Problems at Rochdale General...
E-Cigarette

E-Cigarettes create ‘Super Organ’

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E-Cigarettes cause your internal organs to fuse together creating one large 'super organ' that later bursts, scientists have found. The two-year study, which followed heavy users of the...

Jeremy Hunt to introduce Pay Per View Patient Records

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NHS officials have confirmed reports that health minister Jeremy Hunt has been hacked. "Since his initial appointment as health minister in 2012 we have been working on...
Boots

Morning-after pill still cheaper than taking kids to Spain during School Holidays insists Boots Chief...

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High street chemist Boots have defied public pressure to reduce the price of their emergency contraceptive pill claiming it represents excellent value for money...
Hospital

Tories promise extra floor space and 50,000 more coats in the 40 new hospitals...

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The Conservative Party has released its newest manifesto pledge to increase A&E floor space in the 40 hospitals they are definitely not building, as...

Rochdale Infirmary to Trial Office Hours

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Due to severe cut backs, Rochdale Infirmary is to trial working office hours only. This is a first in the UK since the inception...
Theresa May

Theresa May’s Rituals

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"Theresa May is signalling distress." Dr. Maca Damia comments, viewing photos of the Prime Minister kneeling by the road just inside Wales. "Do you see...
Theresa May

Theresa May gives civil servants 300% wage rise for World Aides Day

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Unelected Prime Minister and part time Zelda impersonator has managed to anger both equalities protesters and AIDS awareness groups with her latest gaffe. Mrs May...

Attention seeker Brian Harvey arrested after sending himself abusive Tweets

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Former East 17 Band member and serial own foot shooter Brian Harvey is said to be in trouble with the police over alleged malicious...

Thousands of Leave voters dead after do not drink labels removed from bottles of...

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Several hundred thousand leave voters have died from drinking bleach in the last few days after labels, required under EU health and safety rules,...
Vegetables

Vegetables ‘have feelings too’ top scientists discover

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Happy raspberries, disappointed carrots and furious parsnips may not be the stuff of fairy tales, top food scientists have shown. Researchers were observing the effect...
British Homeopath

British Homeopathy Association to strike over watered down labelling

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The British Homeopathy Association has announced a planned strike over government plans to label their medication as being ‘useless’. The head of the British Homeopathic Association...

Thousands come together for eye testing

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Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits. One attendee told us,...

Coronavirus maybe more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith warns Government

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The Government is warning that Coronavirus could be more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith. The warning comes as the number of cases in Britain...

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