Theresa May

Theresa May gives civil servants 300% wage rise for World Aides Day

0
Unelected Prime Minister and part time Zelda impersonator has managed to anger both equalities protesters and AIDS awareness groups with her latest gaffe. Mrs May...
anti-vaxxer

My kids weren’t vaccinated and the one who didn’t die is okay says anti-vaxxer

45
Tracy O'Daffy of Middleton is heading a campaign to raise awareness of the dangers of vaccination throughout the Rochdale area. Tracy has been a long...

Crossfit cult ‘survivor’ makes full recovery after being rescued

9
A former member of the cult of Crossfit, Steve ‘Tits’ Day, has spoken for the first time having made a full recovery from his formerly...

World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field

0
World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale. One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...

Morrissey spends days in bed

0
Tragic news has reached us here at The Rochdale Herald for all lovers of the morbid mopheaded muso and former front man of The...

Total Coincidence that Virgin hospital take over and massive NHS cuts announced while parliament...

0
The Conservative Party today claimed once again that the NHS is "safe" in their hands, and denied that huge cuts to NHS services will...

Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal

0
Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer. Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...
Alcoholics Anonymous logo

Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous getting mixed up on a massive scale

0
People have been mixing up the Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous on a massive scale, it has emerged. Things came to a head recently when...

NHS hospitals to sell postcards to capitalise on booming health tourism

0
The Department of Health issued a press release this morning announcing that all NHS hospitals were to begin retailing postcards in order to capitalise...
Snake

Snake oil cures are for idiots, say snakes

0
A spokesnake for snakes everywhere has said that snake oil cures not one single disease known to man. "I get that being mortal is terrifying...
NHS

Government re-brands NHS as Notional Health Service

0
The government has announced plans to re-brand the National Health Service as the Notional Health Service. Jeremy Hunt MP, Secretary of State for Health, is...

Scottish man DIES after drinking a glass of WATER

0
The first fatality caused by the price increase on alcohol in Scotland was announced this morning. Ian McCreedy aged 42 died at his local...

NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt

3
A government source told us yesterday that  robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis. Dr...

‘Childhood vaccines prolonged my agonising march towards death’ claims nihilist.

0
A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence. Stephen...

“NHS crisis just preparation for the zombie apocalypse and everyone should be grateful” says...

0
The underfunding and imminent collapse of the NHS is due to a little known government policy on the zombie apocalypse sources have revealed. Zombiepreppers...
Rochdale paramedics

Husband fails to avoid loaded question

A Rochdale man is currently receiving counselling and treatment for first-degree burns after failing to give the correct answer to a blatantly loaded question...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts