Health

The NHS is in crisis, dead bodies litter corridors and elderly people lie stranded, a trip hazard for nurses, and a health and safety nightmare. The Prime Minister has issued another five-point plan...

The Rev Mike Pence, deputy pastor at the Church of the Poison Mind, Washington, DC, has been quoted as saying "What the American people need is not more health care. What we need is more Jesus...

Metrosexuals all over the country were overcome with delight today as Snake Oil salesmen L'Oreal, released an new line of grooming products for men in a star studded press conference. The jackboot of pressure placed...

Celebrities have allegedly been explaining how the best detox is to take money from idiots. In a statement celebrity food blogger Andrew Coconut Fox said, "The best thing to do is identify a vegetable or...

People with two legs run a greater risk of suffering injuries while jogging or running, a new report published Friday by the NHS shows. According to the report people with two legs are almost 90%...

Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after a case of mistaken identity. "I was a free spirit in...

Surgeon's at London's exclusive Portland hospital have declared the Piersectomy a complete success. In an operation that lasted 8 hours, the world's finest surgeons have performed a world first this morning. Pier's Morgan's head got stuck...

Despite all evidence to the contrary the U.K. Is suffering from a profound wanker shortage after the National Sperm Bank recruited only seven wankers in two years.

A Rochdale man was praised for his bravery and selfless act of dedication this morning after he heroically battled through the worst cold he has ever had to show up for a meeting for...

The Labia Party have announced new plans to make vaginal cosmetic surgery available on the NHS. The announcement follows news that millions of women and some pre-teeners are requesting cosmetic surgery as they are...

"Waiting times for the NHS in England are the longest ever and it's because people are waiting so they can abuse Boris Johnson." Rochdale resident Stan Still told us, "I wanted the opportunity to see...

A casual cocaine user from Rochdale has accused the Bank of England of intentionally trying to injure and poison him with the new fiver. Nathan Webster 22, a cocaine fan from Rochdale, complained: "These new fivers...

Rochdale Council has announced the removal of pedestrian crossings from in front of schools as early as next week. The decision comes in a week when it was announced that 98% of children in Britain...

For years normal people have been subjected to snooty vegans looking down on them and preaching how immoral they are for eating animals just because they taste delicious.

A + E departments and walk in clinics are struggling to deal with thousands of cases of extreme chafing caused by the hot weather. John Welsby of Middleton was turned away from a walk in clinic...

Salisbury hospital was closed today and 2 people are still critically ill today amidst extraordinary scenes said to be the result of Jeremy Hunt. The incident first started when patients began to feel nauseous. Dr...