Theresa May’s Rituals
"Theresa May is signalling distress." Dr. Maca Damia comments, viewing photos of the Prime Minister kneeling by the road just inside Wales.
"Do you see...
5G blamed for amnesia as thousands of twats forget to be Islamophobic
Amidst growing concern from the internet's top pseudo-scientists about the risks posed by mobile technology, yet another coal has been added to the fire.
According...
World Health Organisation on standby as UK confirms youngest ever case of man-flu
Officials at the World Health Organisation have raised the threat level of a global pandemic to full alert.
Salisbury hospital closes and two critically injured after being exposed to Jeremy hunt
Salisbury hospital was closed today and 2 people are still critically ill today amidst extraordinary scenes said to be the result of Jeremy Hunt.
The...
Two kids remember something – proves some hippy shit totally
With all the scientific rigour of a hippy Merlin with a bone through his nose, the BBC headlines recently included the assertion that the...
Lovely Grandma catches racism after wiping bottom on Daily Mail
A lovely old grandma who contracted racism during a trip to Burnley last week is in a "serious condition" after being admitted to an...
New male grooming products launched
Metrosexuals all over the country were overcome with delight today as Snake Oil salesmen L'Oreal, released an new line of grooming products for men...
A&E waiting times fault of immigrants says bloke with Buzz Lightyear toy stuck up...
A Lancashire man has spoken of his outrage at being forced to stand and wait for attention in Rochdale A&E for more than four...
Chris Witty signs lucrative sponsorship deal with Andrex toilet paper
Chris Witty has shocked fans around the world after signing a multi-million pound, multi-decade deal to become the new face of Andrex bog roll.
The...
Stickupthearseitis
A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation.
Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire...
STD’s seek Brexit freedom of movement assurances
Several prominent sexually-transmitted infections have today sought assurances from the Government that Brexit will not have a negative impact on their European transmission rates.
In an...
“NHS crisis just preparation for the zombie apocalypse and everyone should be grateful” says...
The underfunding and imminent collapse of the NHS is due to a little known government policy on the zombie apocalypse sources have revealed.
Zombiepreppers...
‘Childhood vaccines prolonged my agonising march towards death’ claims nihilist.
A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence.
Stephen...
“Could Coronavirus be as deadly as Harold Shipman?” Your Coronavirus questions answered
With Coronavirus fever hitting the nation Rochdale residents had many questions. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College answers some of them.
Will Coronavirus be as...
Gillette admit razors not suitable for sensitive skin
International razor brand Gillette has admitted that after years of investment, their product is not suitable for the delicate skin of the modern day...
NHS study shows people with two legs run greater risk of jogging injuries
People with two legs run a greater risk of suffering injuries while jogging or running, a new report published Friday by the NHS shows.
According...
