People have been mixing up the Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous on a massive scale, it has emerged.

Things came to a head recently when a Rochdale man was surprised to find when filling out his AA car insurance form that the questions were all about his drinking habits.

“I don’t understand.” he said. “Of course I know you shouldn’t drink and drive, but they weren’t interested in any other details about me, my car, my driving, anything.”

Meanwhile in Doncaster, a woman checked into an AA meeting, only to have the first man in the circle stand up and announce in a big brash bass voice, “Hi, my name’s Jeremy and I’m a motorist.”

Also present at this meeting were the Reverend William Spooner and Keith Chegwin. Chegwin said in no uncertain terms, “this is not what I signed up for.”

To which Spooner replied, “beggars can’t be choosers.”