Diabetes

Diabetes sufferers celebrate reduced risk with ‘messy weekend’

0
The news that top scientists have established that people who drink alcohol more regularly are less likely to develop diabetes. The results found that...
Man Bun

Man buns proven to reduce transmission rates of sexually transmitted diseases

17
The Rochdale Royal Institute of Sexual Health have released the results of a study demonstrating man buns as a proven way to reduce the...
Toxic Sign

Trump gives a shot in the arm to 2020 Darwin Awards

0
President Donald Trump has thrown an unexpected and much appreciated lifeline to the 2020 Darwin Awards. The well-known website which describes itself as  a "salute...

World Health Organisation on standby as UK confirms youngest ever case of man-flu

0
Officials at the World Health Organisation have raised the threat level of a global pandemic to full alert.
Hippy shit

Two kids remember something – proves some hippy shit totally

0
With all the scientific rigour of a hippy Merlin with a bone through his nose, the BBC headlines recently included the assertion that the...
Overweight

Government isn’t spending enough on health, says chain-smoking binge-drinker who doesn’t go to gym

0
An overweight chain-smoking binge-drinker who never does any exercise has confirmed that this government isn't spending enough money on ensuring that his health care...
Doctors

Rochdale A+E under stress from record levels of chafing

0
A + E departments and walk in clinics are struggling to deal with thousands of cases of extreme chafing caused by the hot weather. John Welsby...
Doctor and Child

Autism definitely probably worse than polio, says anti-vax “professor”

4
Autism, a neurological developmental disorder, is definitely probably worse than polio, rubella and a host of other preventable diseases all but eradicated in the...

UKIP Politician selling more than just political lies

0
Welsh UKIPper, Andrew “IQ not very” Haigh doesn't just sell bullshit through his party, it transpires. The national organiser for Wales also sells utter bollocks...
Refugee Doctor

Cholera stricken Yemenis welcome arrival of western homeopaths

0
Authorities in Yemen have welcomed the arrival of western homeopaths in its battle against a recent Cholera outbreak. Larisa Ahmad told us, "We welcome the...

Robots refusing cyber attack vaccine due to autism fears

7
The UK's robots have told the Government that they will refuse a vaccine that provides protection from computer viruses, over fears it could cause...

Britain’s Children Rejoice as Broccoli Rationed

1
Playgrounds and schools all over the country were full of joyous celebration as Britain's children heard that Broccoli has been rationed. "Fabbolishus!", declared Ryan Whingeing...

Man receives bravery award for going into work with Cold

0
A Rochdale man was praised for his bravery and selfless act of dedication this morning after he heroically battled through the worst cold he...

Scandal rocks vegan community as it’s revealed they’re made of meat

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For years normal people have been subjected to snooty vegans looking down on them and preaching how immoral they are for eating animals just because they taste delicious.
Tour de France

Asthma Society public awareness campaign kicks off with three-week cycling Tour of France

0
Saturday sees the start of The Asthma Society's global awareness campaign. 176 chronic asthma sufferers will cycle 2,082 miles of the roughest French terrain...
bottles of water

New Juice Plus rival Juice Minus to include ‘no juice’

0
It's that time of the year again when everyone makes doomed to fail resolutions but, fear not, there's a new product on the market...

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