London Motorists furious that cyclists lives might be saved
London drivers are currently outraged at London mayor Sadiq Khan's plans to reduce cyclists deaths.
"Over half of cyclist deaths in the capital involve construction...
NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt
A government source told us yesterday that robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis.
Dr...
Government re-brands NHS as Notional Health Service
The government has announced plans to re-brand the National Health Service as the Notional Health Service.
Jeremy Hunt MP, Secretary of State for Health, is...
Hospital waiting times longest ever as people queue to abuse Boris Johnson
"Waiting times for the NHS in England are the longest ever and it's because people are waiting so they can abuse Boris Johnson."
Rochdale resident...
Man Flu Worse Than AIDS Cancer And Ebola Combined Say Scientists
We've all heard of the dreaded Man Flu in our time, but a team of scientists in Rochdale have finally catalogued the full effects.
“The...
E-Cigarettes create ‘Super Organ’
E-Cigarettes cause your internal organs to fuse together creating one large 'super organ' that later bursts, scientists have found.
The two-year study, which followed heavy users of the...
NHS increase Homeopathy budget by 0.0000001%
Campaigners are thrilled after their campaign to reverse a decision by NHS bosses to no longer prescribe homeopathy on the NHS.
After winning the right...
5G blamed for amnesia as thousands of twats forget to be Islamophobic
Amidst growing concern from the internet's top pseudo-scientists about the risks posed by mobile technology, yet another coal has been added to the fire.
According...
NHS Commodore 64 hacked with ‘ransom cassette’
The NHS is in a state of crisis after its computer was hacked earlier today.
Patients requiring emergency care are being re-routed to different hospitals around...
Crossfit cult ‘survivor’ makes full recovery after being rescued
A former member of the cult of Crossfit, Steve ‘Tits’ Day, has spoken for the first time having made a full recovery from his formerly...
16 Dead In Rochdale Women’s Institute Needle Exchange Hep B Outbreak
The Department of Health have launched an inquiry into an outbreak of Hepatitis B at a Rochdale WI knitting needle swap scheme after untreated...
Scottish man DIES after drinking a glass of WATER
The first fatality caused by the price increase on alcohol in Scotland was announced this morning.
Ian McCreedy aged 42 died at his local...
Man receives bravery award for going into work with Cold
A Rochdale man was praised for his bravery and selfless act of dedication this morning after he heroically battled through the worst cold he...
NHS to be shut down so sick people can get used to feeling poorly
In a shock move Sunday UK chancellor Philip Hammond, announced that his first budget on Wednesday will outline plans for a complete end to...
Donald Trump appoints Doogie Howser M.D. Coronavirus Czar
POTAUS Donald Trump has announced the creation of a Coronavirus Czar charged with coordinating the US's response to Coronavirus. He revealed that Doogie Howser...
Surgeons delighted to confirm the operation to remove Piers Morgan’s head from Donald Trump’s...
Surgeon's at London's exclusive Portland hospital have declared the Piersectomy a complete success.
In an operation that lasted 8 hours, the world's finest surgeons have...
