anti-vaxxer

My kids weren’t vaccinated and the one who didn’t die is okay says anti-vaxxer

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Tracy O'Daffy of Middleton is heading a campaign to raise awareness of the dangers of vaccination throughout the Rochdale area. Tracy has been a long...
sperm bank

Despite Brexit vote UK National Sperm Bank to close due to wanker shortage

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Despite all evidence to the contrary the U.K. Is suffering from a profound wanker shortage after the National Sperm Bank recruited only seven wankers in two years.

One in four NHS hospitals have turned to STRIPPING to make ends meet

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Almost a quarter of the nation's hospitals have turned to stripping to make up for funding shortfalls, according to a new report. Commissioned by a...
Angry man, steam coming from ears

Stickupthearseitis

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A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation. Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire...

UK obesity epidemic to be tackled by driving the Coca-Cola truck through towns and...

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Coca Cola have announced that the driver of their self-proclaimed ‘traditional’ Christmas Truck has been instructed to keep moving through the UK towns and...
Hospital

Hospitals to open thousands of ‘transition wards’ to end winter crisis

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Health - Health Secretary James Hunt today told The Rochdale Herald that a "space restructurement"  at hospitals across the country would put paid to...
Alcoholics Anonymous logo

Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous getting mixed up on a massive scale

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People have been mixing up the Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous on a massive scale, it has emerged. Things came to a head recently when...

Celebrities reveal best detox is to take money from idiots

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Celebrities have allegedly been explaining how the best detox is to take money from idiots. In a statement celebrity food blogger Andrew Coconut Fox said,...

Tiny Tim declared fit to work by ATOS

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Dickensian child, "Tiny" Tim Cratchitt has been declared fit to work by ATOS this week despite being both famously crippled and fictional. His father, Robert...
Fruit Salad

Fruit salad cancer risk

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Fruit salads may cause cancer, top Latvian scientists have found. The study, published in Eat My Carcinoma, has sent shockwaves through fruit communities and...
theresa nay laughing

May announces bed sharing and brunch in effort to save NHS

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The NHS is in crisis, dead bodies litter corridors and elderly people lie stranded, a trip hazard for nurses, and a health and safety...

Living in Italy and eating really nice food might cure depression, confirms Institute of...

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The institute for the blindingly obvious has today proclaimed that living in Italy and eating nice food may help depression. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...

Woman chains herself up in bid to stop voting for the Conservatives

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A mother is so desperate to stop voting for the Conservatives she has chained herself up in her room to prevent access to a...

“Could Coronavirus be as deadly as Harold Shipman?” Your Coronavirus questions answered

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With Coronavirus fever hitting the nation Rochdale residents had many questions. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College answers some of them. Will Coronavirus be as...

World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field

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World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale. One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...
E-Cigarette

E-Cigarettes create ‘Super Organ’

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E-Cigarettes cause your internal organs to fuse together creating one large 'super organ' that later bursts, scientists have found. The two-year study, which followed heavy users of the...

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