Tories promise extra floor space and 50,000 more coats in the 40 new hospitals...
The Conservative Party has released its newest manifesto pledge to increase A&E floor space in the 40 hospitals they are definitely not building, as...
Pray for your health suckers says Mike Pence
The Rev Mike Pence, deputy pastor at the Church of the Poison Mind, Washington, DC, has been quoted as saying "What the American people need...
New Juice Plus rival Juice Minus to include ‘no juice’
It's that time of the year again when everyone makes doomed to fail resolutions but, fear not, there's a new product on the market...
Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.
After coming under increasing pressure from...
Smallbridge Flats Man Convinced Pigeon Likes to Watch him Hoover Naked
While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time...
Morning-after pill still cheaper than taking kids to Spain during School Holidays insists Boots Chief...
High street chemist Boots have defied public pressure to reduce the price of their emergency contraceptive pill claiming it represents excellent value for money...
Man that failed GCSE Science now an expert in pediatrics
A Rochdale man who failed GCSE Science has revealed he's an expert on pediatrics and specializes in treatments for Pneumonia. Bill Board loudly announced...
NHS gift vouchers to become nation’s favourite christmas stocking fillers
People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS...
I’m not against loonies, I gave Boris a job says May
A spokesperson who claims to be from Theresa May's office has called to defend Theresa May after this writer- allegedly- implied that she was...
Littlest Hobo declared fit for work by ATOS
Everyone remembers getting a little teary to the Littlest Hobo, don’t they?
Each episode he’d make some friends and then leave, just as they were...
Working from home identified as leading cause of sight loss in men
A new study from the Rochdale Institute for Sight has found that working from home is the leading cause of sight loss for men.
Although...
Husband fails to avoid loaded question
A Rochdale man is currently receiving counselling and treatment for first-degree burns after failing to give the correct answer to a blatantly loaded question...
Two kids remember something – proves some hippy shit totally
With all the scientific rigour of a hippy Merlin with a bone through his nose, the BBC headlines recently included the assertion that the...
Increase in breast injuries as Brexit voters admit to feeling right tits
The number of women reporting breast injuries has increased dramatically since June 2016, according to Dr Feltham Bubiz, head of Unspeakable Female Problems at Rochdale General...
Specialists called in after Yorkshireman with Aussie flu says “G’day mate”
A Yorkshire man has been rushed to hospital after it was suspected he had the most serious strain of the Aussie flu virus known...
Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend
Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning.
As millions of us check up on the...
