NHS

Government re-brands NHS as Notional Health Service

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The government has announced plans to re-brand the National Health Service as the Notional Health Service. Jeremy Hunt MP, Secretary of State for Health, is...

NHS to be shut down so sick people can get used to feeling poorly 

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In a shock move Sunday UK chancellor Philip Hammond, announced that his first budget on Wednesday will outline plans for a complete end to...

Stoner Relieved Global Conspiracy to Crush the Poor Not Just Weed-Induced Paranoia

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Danny Moss, 41, of Milnrow happily cancelled his upcoming trip to the psychiatrist after finally concluding that there really is a shadowy cabal trying to take...

Virus tests increase to 1 million a day as Matt Hancock includes tests he’s...

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The UK government has announced that Covid-19 testing has now far surpassed the target figure, coming in at 1 million a day. Health Secretary, Matt...
Toxic Sign

Trump gives a shot in the arm to 2020 Darwin Awards

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President Donald Trump has thrown an unexpected and much appreciated lifeline to the 2020 Darwin Awards. The well-known website which describes itself as  a "salute...
NHS

Britain shows appreciation for NHS by funding it properly

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Britain has decided to show its appreciation for the NHS by funding it properly.  The nation has made the decision that it doesn't matter...

Celebrities reveal best detox is to take money from idiots

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Celebrities have allegedly been explaining how the best detox is to take money from idiots. In a statement celebrity food blogger Andrew Coconut Fox said,...

Mordor agrees below inflation pay rise for Hobbits

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Over a million Hobbits across The Shire including front line ring bearers and turnip farmers are expected to receive 6% pay increases, the Rochdale Herald has been told.

Working from home identified as leading cause of sight loss in men

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A new study from the Rochdale Institute for Sight has found that working from home is the leading cause of sight loss for men. Although...
Couple with dog

Season your pets before leaving them in a hot car

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do With temperatures hitting 30°C across the nation, dog owners have been warned to pay special attention to their four legged friends. Each year the RSPCA...

One in four NHS hospitals have turned to STRIPPING to make ends meet

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Almost a quarter of the nation's hospitals have turned to stripping to make up for funding shortfalls, according to a new report. Commissioned by a...

NHS gift vouchers to become nation’s favourite christmas stocking fillers

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People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS...

Mother of three who has finished her Christmas shopping and bought all of the...

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A woman was rushed to hospital this week suffering from a rare allergic reaction to being overtly smug after completing all her food and...
Hippy shit

Two kids remember something – proves some hippy shit totally

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With all the scientific rigour of a hippy Merlin with a bone through his nose, the BBC headlines recently included the assertion that the...

Anti-Vaxxer has very messy carpet

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In an ironic twist that would give Alanis Morissette a run for her money, local Anti-Vaxx campaigner Tarquin O'Flerfer is reported to have a...
Hospital

Lovely Grandma catches racism after wiping bottom on Daily Mail

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A lovely old grandma who contracted racism during a trip to Burnley last week is in a "serious condition" after being admitted to an...

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