Well I’ve never caught anything off my kids before, Facebook mum lies

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Before 2020, Rochdale mum Di Coughlan had rarely posted anything other than pictures of her adorable children and grimacing husband.  That all changed a...
Supermarket

Fat Fighters launches gold leaf ‘Sin Free’ range

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Fat Fighters has introduced a new range gold leaf coated products to help gullible fatties spend more money and lose even more weight. The company...

Donald Trump appoints Doogie Howser M.D. Coronavirus Czar

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POTAUS Donald Trump has announced the creation of a Coronavirus Czar charged with coordinating the US's response to Coronavirus. He revealed that Doogie Howser...
Rochdale paramedics

Husband fails to avoid loaded question

A Rochdale man is currently receiving counselling and treatment for first-degree burns after failing to give the correct answer to a blatantly loaded question...

Scottish man DIES after drinking a glass of WATER

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The first fatality caused by the price increase on alcohol in Scotland was announced this morning. Ian McCreedy aged 42 died at his local...

Surgeons delighted to confirm the operation to remove Piers Morgan’s head from Donald Trump’s...

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Surgeon's at London's exclusive Portland hospital have declared the Piersectomy a complete success. In an operation that lasted 8 hours, the world's finest surgeons have...

Jeremy Hunt to introduce Pay Per View Patient Records

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NHS officials have confirmed reports that health minister Jeremy Hunt has been hacked. "Since his initial appointment as health minister in 2012 we have been working on...
Chris Witty

Chris Witty signs lucrative sponsorship deal with Andrex toilet paper

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Chris Witty has shocked fans around the world after signing a multi-million pound, multi-decade deal to become the new face of Andrex bog roll. The...
Angry man, steam coming from ears

Stickupthearseitis

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A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation. Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire...

Racists awarded PIP’s under new mental health provisions

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Penny Mordor MP, Secretary of State for Disabled People, Work and Health announced this morning wide ranging changes to the qualification criteria for PIP (Personal Independence...

Shoppers rejoice as bendy bananas sneak back into supermarkets after Commons vote

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UK shoppers were in ecstasy as bendy bananas made a comeback into British supermarkets following Parliament’s decision to allow Prime Minister Theresa May to...
Hospital

Salisbury hospital closes and two critically injured after being exposed to Jeremy hunt

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Salisbury hospital was closed today and 2 people are still critically ill today amidst extraordinary scenes said to be the result of Jeremy Hunt. The...
Theresa May

Theresa May Sectioned for safety after gibberish speech about Brexit

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The Prime Minister was taken into protective custody at a secure mental health unit this afternoon, for her own safety. A spokesperson for Meadows and...
Mike Pence

US replaces health insurance with crossed fingers, hoping and prayer

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There has been a wave of concern regarding universal access to healthcare across the United States after Donald Trump, Mike Pence and the GOP officially repealed Obamacare...

UKIP Politician selling more than just political lies

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Welsh UKIPper, Andrew “IQ not very” Haigh doesn't just sell bullshit through his party, it transpires. The national organiser for Wales also sells utter bollocks...
knitting

16 Dead In Rochdale Women’s Institute Needle Exchange Hep B Outbreak

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The Department of Health have launched an inquiry into an outbreak of Hepatitis B at a Rochdale WI knitting needle swap scheme after untreated...

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