Health

The number of women reporting breast injuries has increased dramatically since June 2016, according to Dr Feltham Bubiz, head of Unspeakable Female Problems at Rochdale General Hospital. "There must be a connection with the referendum," Dr Bubiz...

Rochdale Council has announced the removal of pedestrian crossings from in front of schools as early as next week. The decision comes in a week when it was announced that 98% of children in Britain...

World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale. One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one of his meet and greets with local activists. He'd had...

Emergency Services are at the point of absolute collapse this evening after millions tuned in to the BBC to watch the exit polls this evening without wearing protective eyewear and were blinded by David Dimbleby's...

Metrosexuals all over the country were overcome with delight today as Snake Oil salesmen L'Oreal, released an new line of grooming products for men in a star studded press conference. The jackboot of pressure placed...

Happy raspberries, disappointed carrots and furious parsnips may not be the stuff of fairy tales, top food scientists have shown. Researchers were observing the effect of peeling potatoes on levels of starch in fried wedges,...

The Department of Health have launched an inquiry into an outbreak of Hepatitis B at a Rochdale WI knitting needle swap scheme after untreated cases resulted in the death of sixteen members.  Problems seemed to...

A new study from the Rochdale Institute for Sight has found that working from home is the leading cause of sight loss for men. Although identifying the cause the researchers were less exact about what...

A spokesperson who claims to be from Theresa May's office has called to defend Theresa May after this writer- allegedly- implied that she was not entirely sincere in her public drive to tackle mental...

Our Herald undercover reporter uncovers the sinister side of the illegal Kensington salad trade. It’s 2 a.m. and I’m standing outside an all-night coffee shop in London’s Kensington High Street, waiting, as Lou Reed so...

Penny Mordor MP, Secretary of State for Disabled People, Work and Health announced this morning wide ranging changes to the qualification criteria for PIP (Personal Independence Payment). The payment, designed to assist individuals who are long term...

Several prominent sexually-transmitted infections have today sought assurances from the Government that Brexit will not have a negative impact on their European transmission rates.  In an open letter to MPs, the disease organisms expressed concerns that restrictions...

Due to severe cut backs, Rochdale Infirmary is to trial working office hours only. This is a first in the UK since the inception of the NHS. The proposal will see the busy hospital...

Since moving to London, St Cuthbert's alumnus Ben Green has prided himself on, in his own words, "spreading his chutney round Putney".  Claiming to have graduated one of Rochdale's leading Catholic schools, he has...

The Department of Health issued a press release this morning announcing that all NHS hospitals were to begin retailing postcards in order to capitalise on the booming health tourism market. “With an estimated five hundred...