Michael "Jim" Delligatti, the man who invented the MacDonalds Big Mac burger (and apparently wasn't aware of what Jim is supposed to be short for) has died leaving people unsatisfied and feeling slightly ripped off.

“Jim” was one of the first to own a MacDonalds franchise and invented the Big Mac in 1967 and came up with the idea after “just putting two of everything” together.

“We will be using the tiniest hearse possible and only allowing people under a certain height,” said funeral organiser Cardinal Arrest of the St Cholesterol Church in Pennsylvania, “and there's to be a slice of gherkin placed in the casket that will be removed at the last minute and left on a neighbouring table. It's what he would have wanted.”

Unlike Frank W Hopper, the Burger King founder who died last year, “Jim” will be buried rather than cremated.

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When the aeons of war left the gods dead and the universe decimated, a single duck rose from the ashes and stood for justice and freedom!
It wasn’t me, that duck, but we look quite bit alike.