Salisbury hospital was closed today and 2 people are still critically ill today amidst extraordinary scenes said to be the result of Jeremy Hunt.

The incident first started when patients began to feel nauseous. Dr Peter Atchoo said, “It was just a normal day then people began to complain of dizziness and nausea. Next they started collapsing. We evacuated a waiting area and called the fire brigade.”

Fire fighter Frank McBernie said, “We got to the scene and realised that there was a contamination issue. We immediately put on biological suits and began a decontamination procedure.”
It’s understood that many more people could have been hurt.

A scientist at the hospital, Dr Frederick Seddon said, “The substance was analysed and it was found to have a median lethal dose 1000 times greater than Botox. It’s yet to be identified but rest assured this is nasty stuff.”

Initially it wasn’t understood where the substance had come from. Police began to investigate. PC Typhus said, “We evacuated the hospital and found our answer. Out strolled Jeremy Hunt. It turns out he was just visiting the hospital but we’re not sure why.”

It’s understood by the Herald that the Government will investigate how Jeremy Hunt got out. More importantly, how he was allowed into a hospital on his own.

One member of the public, who wishes to remain anonymous said, “This is terrible. The Government should be more careful. Who knows who else could have been affected if it hadn’t been for the quick thinking of the emergency services. The Government need to clampdown on Jeremy and the causes of Jeremy. It’s a matter of public health.”