Man Flu Worse Than AIDS Cancer And Ebola Combined Say Scientists

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We've all heard of the dreaded Man Flu in our time, but a team of scientists in Rochdale have finally catalogued the full effects. “The...
Rochdale paramedics

Husband fails to avoid loaded question

A Rochdale man is currently receiving counselling and treatment for first-degree burns after failing to give the correct answer to a blatantly loaded question...

Hospital waiting times longest ever as people queue to abuse Boris Johnson

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"Waiting times for the NHS in England are the longest ever and it's because people are waiting so they can abuse Boris Johnson." Rochdale resident...

Big Mac Inventor’s funeral to be smaller than it looks in adverts

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Michael "Jim" Delligatti, the man who invented the MacDonalds Big Mac burger (and apparently wasn't aware of what Jim is supposed to be short for) has died leaving people unsatisfied and feeling slightly ripped off.

NHS Complimentary Medicine Services near collapse

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The Emergency Services and NHS Trusts in London & the South East areas are reported to be within 24 hours of collapse. Since the vote...

Disaster as it’s revealed Government only has enough Care badges for 1 in 5...

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Undercover reporters for The Rochdale Herald have discovered that the Government only has enough "Care" badges for 1 in 5 care workers as part...
Tory

NHS Commodore 64 hacked with ‘ransom cassette’

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The NHS is in a state of crisis after its computer was hacked earlier today. Patients requiring emergency care are being re-routed to different hospitals around...

UK moves to a pocket full of posies phase of Coronavirus plan

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The Government has this morning announced, it has begun the "pocket full of posies" phase of its Coronavirus plan. Spokesman Bill Board said, "We use...

“Could Coronavirus be as deadly as Harold Shipman?” Your Coronavirus questions answered

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With Coronavirus fever hitting the nation Rochdale residents had many questions. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College answers some of them. Will Coronavirus be as...

Celebrities reveal best detox is to take money from idiots

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Celebrities have allegedly been explaining how the best detox is to take money from idiots. In a statement celebrity food blogger Andrew Coconut Fox said,...

Goveid-19 now ‘out of control’ in UK.

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A new, highly infectious virus - Goveid-19 - has reached pandemic proportions throughout the UK, an investigation by The Rochdale Herald has revealed. Goveid-19 was...

NHS declares tap water is much more cost effective than homeopathy

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The NHS has declared that it's probably a better use of money to invest in tap water than provide homeopathy provision. NHS spokesperson Dr Gary...
George Michael

George Michael declined 33rd heart transplant after ‘giving them away’

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The 80's pop sensation 90's cop bothering loiterer and naughties stoner George Michael has been refused the vital surgery by the NHS. Chief Cardiovascular Surgeon...
Boots

Morning-after pill still cheaper than taking kids to Spain during School Holidays insists Boots Chief...

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High street chemist Boots have defied public pressure to reduce the price of their emergency contraceptive pill claiming it represents excellent value for money...

Total Coincidence that Virgin hospital take over and massive NHS cuts announced while parliament...

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The Conservative Party today claimed once again that the NHS is "safe" in their hands, and denied that huge cuts to NHS services will...
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Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous getting mixed up on a massive scale

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People have been mixing up the Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous on a massive scale, it has emerged. Things came to a head recently when...

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