All over Britain, McDonald’s branches are silent and your gran might die from Covid-19. The PC libtards say this is a result of complex factors interplaying that mean that a novel virus can spread easily. Everyone interested in the truth knows that’s rubbish. It’s foreigners that have caused this and we’re here to guide you through which foreigners to blame. So buckle up leftard avocado knitters because today, we’re dropping some truth bombs and your feelings are going to be the collateral damage.

Meghan Markle

Meghan only married Prince Harry because she thought she would be the King if she did. Before marrying him she turned him into Princess Harry and then had a child with him to trap him into the relationship. Then, when she realised she wasn’t ever going to be King she took Prince Harry to Woke-ada so they could have sex with Woke-ada’s gay President. The thing is, Woke-ada is so boring it doesn’t even have a McDonald’s so they’ve had to move to Los Angeles but Harry will get really sun burnt there. So Meghan needs to come up with a way of becoming King of England and that way is Covid-19. It’s no coincidence that her and Harry were over here visiting just before it happened and she definitely owns a Microsoft laptop. I mean, join the dots people. Bill Gates invented this thing so Meghan could become King. In the meantime, Harry is talking about doing things like helping the disabled instead of leaving them in a forest to be  eaten by wolves like what would happen in Britain.

The EU

And by the EU we mean the French. The French have a history of inventing diseases. In the 15th Century they invaded Italy and invented Syphilis. Before Syphilis STD’s were just things that would make you itch for a couple of days but would go away. But the French invented one that would make you go mad. They did this because they’re rubbish at fighting wars. Instead of having to fight, French prostitutes would be told have sex with the enemy and all the enemies men would die from it allowing the French to invade. Michel Barnier is that prostitute and he’s now given Covid to Boris in order to invade Britain and popularise accordion music and mime artists. Not only that but, everyone knows that the French are sending infected refugees over here in speed boats to infect us. 

And if you still don’t believe us. It was a French flight attendant that had sex with the monkey that invented AIDS in the 1970’s and gave it everyone else. 

The Chinese

From the Black death to West Nile Virus and German Measles the Chinese have invented every disease ever (Except AIDS and Syphilis). Not only that but everyone knows they like weird food. Ming Garden’s down the road? My mate Gary once got a meal from there and they’d put an entire cat in it. Katsu Curry? There’s cat in that. So they definitely invented it, it even started there after Bill Gates had infected the US Army with it.

Muslim’s

Obviously, blaming the Jews would be a bit Black Death/Spanish Inquisition. Basically, Muslim’s are deliberately infecting themselves with Covid-19 so they can implement Sharia law. What they do is visit people’s grandma’s and get invited into the house. Whilst your Grandma is making them a cup of tea they’re licking her Werther’s Original’s knowing that when she eats them or offers them to your kids. Your kids will eat them, become infected and die. Avoid this by wrapping your gran’s Werther’s Original’s in bacon. This will render any plan to impose Shari Law void.

Diane Abbot 

This Woman can’t even put her shoes on properly so a pair of rubber gloves is going to be beyond her. Plus, once everyone is dead from Covid it means she’ll be able to impose socialism on everyone.