A survey of very cute little dogs has discovered that almost 99.9% of them are in fact savage little bastards.

The survey which was carried out by Which Pet magazine has proven conclusively that all little dogs with fluffy cute faces are in reality “psychotic double hard bastards.”

The first national survey of its kind found that really cute little dogs such as West Highland Terriers, Yorkies and Shih Tzus are all harbouring murderous grudges behind their cuddly facade.

Among the findings were that Bichon Frises would definitely eat alive any stranger who comes near their front gate if they were “just a little bit bigger.

Speaking on behalf of small fluffy dogs throughout the UK, Gordon, a four year old Lhasa Apso, said;

“You better watch out mother fucker or I am going to mess you up. Let me at em, let me at em…”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.