It appears only a matter of hours after a desperate Theresa May formed a coalition with the Northern Irish DUP, relationships have broken down.

A Downing street source has told the Herald the initial meeting between the Conservatives and the Democratic Unionist Party has had a less than smooth start.

Boris Johnson caused his fellow MPs to hide their faces and DUP MPs to grit their teeth, when the Secretary for Foriegn affairs broke the ice with,

“Paddy and Mick walk into Westminster and find out it’s subsidized… ‘; he saw the disapproving looks on the Ulster MPs and decided not to deliver a punchline.

The buffoonish MP then added insult to injury by offering DUP leader Arlene Foster a potato as ‘a cultural gift’.

Foster merely scowled and recited a verse from the old testament about shellfish. Mr Johnson apparently flushed and started gesticulating wildly as he searched for a way to recover the bonhomie.

“What do you call an Irish firing…” Boris started, before being pushed to the back of the room by aides to Ms May.

It is understood that the DUP MPs left in a fury.

Johnson was heard to say,

“Blimey, that didn’t go half as well as I thought it would. I’m lucky it’s not the 70’s or they might of had me knee-capped!”

19th century vegetable highwayman/ satirist. Likes: the sound of a solitary house fly loitering hectically around his ear and the feeling of a warm toilet seat. Favourite topic: writing about political intrigue involving biscuits.