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Government appoints Franz Kafka as new Head of Test and Trace...

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Following reports that some people around the UK have been able to get a Coronavirus test the government has appointed the Bohemian novelist Franz...

Your Mum has a dildo

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Children all over the country are coming to terms with the horrifying reality that their Mums have at least one dildo.

Next Call of Duty to be set on Oxford Street during...

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The team behind the bewilderingly popular series of computer games Call of Duty has revealed that the next instalment of the franchise will be...

Hundreds arrested in dawn raids for not wearing a poppy

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More than 300 people have been arrested as part of an operation to prevent people who aren’t wearing a poppy to be seen in public today.

Just £3 a month will pay for cocaine and child prostitutes...

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A new fundraising campaign from Oxfam appealing to the better nature of child abusers is asking for just £3 a month to pay for...

Rees-Mogg puts his clock back 200 years

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Jacob Rees-Mogg has, today woken up in 1818 after instructing his Valet to put his clock back 200 years. His Butler, Riff Raff told us,...

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