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Bloke whose wife said “do what you like” thinks he’s going...

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A husband whose wife told him to do whatever he likes is still not aware that he really isn’t going to get to do what he likes.

David Davis organises piss up in brewery on wrong day

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The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union reportedly organised a smashing piss up in a brewery to celebrate New Year's Eve on...

University of Life under Ofsted investigation after turning out complete fucking...

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Chief Ofsted inspector Mark Teachers announced today he would be launching a special investigation into the University of Life, based in Thanet. A lower-level investigation...

Man thrown out of vegan cult for wearing donkey jacket

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There was outrage in the Burnley hemp weaving community today after a man was expelled from his local vegetarian cult for wearing a donkey...

Israel celebrates Eurovision win by bombing Gaza strip

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Israel has celebrated winning the Eurovision song contest with a massive aerial bombardment of the Gaza Strip and shooting dead some Palestinian civilians. Nine Palestinian...

Husband remembers to put recycling bin out on right day

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In a stunning feat of memory and dazzling competence a husband from Rochdale has managed to put the right bin out on the right...

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