British television legend Sir Bruce Forsyth has died at the age of 89 of a chest infection.

Bruce was well known for his dancing and singing on British television prime time broadcasting programmes as well as hosting several shows, such as the price is right and strictly come dancing. His career spanned 7 decades, making himself a household name with instantly recognisable catchphrases.

He was also known for being one of the few well loved British television personalities who did not molest children or have young men die in suspicious circumstances in his swimming pool.

Bruce was declared dead this afternoon after a chest infection caused heart failure. Its believed the chest infection developed following keyhole surgery undertaken earlier this month.

Reports of Bruce’s death have been met with overwhelming support for his family and also nationwide mourning. However, only moments after the doctor declared Sir Bruce Forsyth as deceased, an ATOS caseworker carried out a work capability assessment and declared Sir Forsyth fit for work.

“Death at the age of 89 is absolutely no excuse to shirk employment responsibilities” said the ATOS assessor.

He continued “Sir Forsyth is perfectly capable of carrying out light work duties, such as a drivers mate; Now that the rigour has set in, he can be used as a coat stand.”

“We expect to see Mr Forsyth’s corpse at the jobcentre plus next week for enrolment, or he will face sanctions. It is not up to the taxpayer to fund the doss about neer-do-well lifestyle of a dead person.”

RIP Bruce.

19th century vegetable highwayman/ satirist. Likes: the sound of a solitary house fly loitering hectically around his ear and the feeling of a warm toilet seat. Favourite topic: writing about political intrigue involving biscuits.