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New EU rules send shock waves through the terraces

New EU rules are set to send shock waves through the football terraces of the UK.According to sources close to the FA, the European Parliament's Fair Trade Advocacy Office in conjunction with the...

Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW

A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that they will be supporting Brazil in the football.Artemisa Yousir, originally...

East London Charity Shops on standby to get loads of West Ham training kit...

East London charity shops are preparing for a bumper delivery of training kit and promotional items after West Ham appointed David Moyes to their bed-next-to-the-door Manager role.Moyes, who has come to specialise in...

Norway’s female football team found in cocaine-fuelled strip club romp

Just hours after the Norwegian football association ruled that female footballer's pay must be brought in line with that of the men's, the entire Norwegian national women's squad has been discovered in a debauched...

Ex-professional footballer could sign for Rochdale Nomads

Excitement is building around the start of next season's Sunday league fixtures as rumours of top ex-professional footballer Chris Sutton once of Blackburn Rovers and Celtic getting his boots back on to run out...

Police and HMRC raid Arsenal after silver polish claim on VAT return

More tax scandal has hit the Premier League last night after police swooped on the Arsenal stadium after they tried to claim the VAT back on silver polish.HMRC officials were alerted after after...

Lukaku leaves second best club in Liverpool for second best club in Manchester

Lukaku is thought to be worth approximately 50m but has signed for United with an additional premium unofficially known as the 'United surcharge'.Lukaku's agent, Rob Grubber explained "It's coz they's loaded innit? Everyone...
Putin 2

FIFA rejects World Cup draw rigging allegations after Russia selected to play against Russia

FIFA have been forced to defend more allegations of corruption after the 2018 World Cup hosts, Russia, were selected to play against themselves in the group stages.The event saw Gary Lineker and Russian presenter...
Bored Football Fan

Spurs reassure loyal fans with plan to be shit again by the weekend

Tottenham Hotspur, commonly referred to simply as Tottenham, Spurs, or a word that you really can’t use in an article these days for fear of sounding like you’re a fan of Trump, Farage and...

Love Island Special – John Terry sacks Agent after he asked to join “that...

John Terry, the legendary back door man and occasional footballer, has sacked his Agent after finding himself trapped in a 1 year contract at Aston Villa.It is believed that Mr Terry, the immortal gant...

Rooney: taking are cuntry bak

As the second half of the Manchester derby got underway, reports were coming in that Wayne Rooney had joined Britain First.During the halftime team talk, United manager Jose Mourinho told simpleton, Rooney, "I want...

Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal

Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer.Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function" as a common factor amongst many footballers who, the study...

Moaning Mourinho In Lip Wobble Outburst

The future of games at Old Trafford are in doubt after Manchester United Manager Jose Mourinho demanded the removal of peas from referee's whistles as part of a series of measures to reduce noise...
Millwall Fans

Millwall football fans hail Supreme Court with bricks and bottles after Blair no criminal...

Buoyed by the Supreme Court's ruling that there was no law of criminal aggression with which to prosecute Tony Blair, Millwall Football Club supporters and thugs rampaged near the high court in London today."Bliar,...

Poppies outraged at being hijacked by intolerable, out of touch band of Nationalists.

The prima-donna XI, also known as the England National football team, have confirmed that they will take to the pitch against Germany this Friday, displaying the poppy.However poppies up and down the country have...
Christiano Ronaldo

Just £300,000 a month can feed a footballer for a whole week. Please give...

It can be harrowing, truly tragic to see, to see a young, athletic, talented man to have to survive in squalid conditions, living on less than you paid for your house.That is why we...

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