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Proper footie with a round ball and none of that sissy body armour

Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW

A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that they will be supporting Brazil in the football.Artemisa Yousir, originally...
Wayne Rooney

Wayne Rooney moves from second best team in Manchester to second best team in...

Thatched-roofed footballer Wayne Rooney was yesterday given away by the second best team in Manchester to the second best team in Liverpool.He moves from Manchester United, a once formidable team, who managed to...

Police and HMRC raid Arsenal after silver polish claim on VAT return

More tax scandal has hit the Premier League last night after police swooped on the Arsenal stadium after they tried to claim the VAT back on silver polish.HMRC officials were alerted after after...

Moaning Mourinho In Lip Wobble Outburst

The future of games at Old Trafford are in doubt after Manchester United Manager Jose Mourinho demanded the removal of peas from referee's whistles as part of a series of measures to reduce noise...

New EU rules send shock waves through the terraces

New EU rules are set to send shock waves through the football terraces of the UK.According to sources close to the FA, the European Parliament's Fair Trade Advocacy Office in conjunction with the...

Costa kicks Conte into touch

Former Chelsea Striker Diego Costa says he did not want to leave the club on bad terms, after being dragged kicking and screaming from a burning effigy of Antonio Conte at the Chelsea training...

Norway’s female football team found in cocaine-fuelled strip club romp

Just hours after the Norwegian football association ruled that female footballer's pay must be brought in line with that of the men's, the entire Norwegian national women's squad has been discovered in a debauched...

EFL admits to buying its footballs from a petrol station on Rochdale

The English Football League has admitted buying its footballs from Denny’s Auto Diesel & Spar Mini-Mart on the Bury New Road in Rochdale.The balls, nicknamed the Penny Swerver by posh kids from Sutton...

Rochdale Reds watch Man Utd forge ahead with Brexit plan

Members of the Rochdale Reds Man Utd supporters association may ask the High Court to step in over Jose Mourinho's apparent Brexit plans.United manager Mourinho has berated his players for approaching their Europa League...
Wayne Rooney

Touching scenes as Rooney reunited with hair transplant donor

Footage has been revealed of the touching scenes when Wayne Rooney was reunited with his hair donor.The meeting took place on the rock of Gibraltar after Rooney was touring the rock and had just...
Neymar

‘I moved for new challenges’ says footballer now on three quarters of a million...

Brazilian bladder-hoofer Naymar Davis Junior today explained his reasons for his £200 million move from Europe's most technically skilled, most competitive national football league to the one-horse procession that is the French First Division....

Ex-professional footballer could sign for Rochdale Nomads

Excitement is building around the start of next season's Sunday league fixtures as rumours of top ex-professional footballer Chris Sutton once of Blackburn Rovers and Celtic getting his boots back on to run out...
Goalkeeper

Urinating Salford goalie earns whole side a place in England’s World Cup squad

Almost the entire Salford lineup have been selected as part of England’s squad for next year’s World Cup, it has emerged. All the English players from the team have been picked to represent their...

East London Charity Shops on standby to get loads of West Ham training kit...

East London charity shops are preparing for a bumper delivery of training kit and promotional items after West Ham appointed David Moyes to their bed-next-to-the-door Manager role.Moyes, who has come to specialise in...
nuclear

FA launch tactical nuclear strike at semi-final of Women’s Euro 2017

The Football Association has long been implacably opposed to the rise of the women’s game. When it first got popular, the FA acted swiftly and banned it in 1921. However, with the rise of...
Wayne Rooney

Rooney Returns to Everton because ‘I missed my Nan’

Overweight, red faced, former England captain Wayne Rooney is to leave Manchester United to return to his first club Everton as part of a £90m deal that takes Everton striker Romelu Lukaku to Old...

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