Football

The Queen has signalled her approval for Meghan Markle to marry Prince Harry Kane. Despite her recent wedding to that "Bastard" (sic) ginger grandson of hers, the reigning monarch is ready to dissolve the marriage...

"I'm prepared to admit that the playing surface wasn't perhaps 110%, but Mr Pinocchio has no right to criticise another club that might not have as much money as Tottenham." A Rochdale AFC spokesman was...

Overweight, red faced, former England captain Wayne Rooney is to leave Manchester United to return to his first club Everton as part of a £90m deal that takes Everton striker Romelu Lukaku to Old...

Several women have taken to the top of ambulances in their latest quest for reassurance about their weight Becky Donaldson, 23, is fairly confident she isn't fat.  But occasionally, she likes reassurance.  Normally she gets...

POTATUS, Donald Trump telephoned and congratulated Rochdale AFC on winning the Superbowl on Sunday night. Much to the surprise of club officials. A club spokesman said, "The Chairman was catching up on Love Island when...

Today the Herald can exclusively reveal the jaw dropping news that the world's biggest star, glamour model, fashion icon, tireless charity worker and one of the finest footballers of his generation David Beckham (and...

Arsene Wenger was left frustrated after the end of a tumultuous week which saw Arsenal lose twice against Manchester city and rounded off by a defeat at Brighton. However, in a news conference held...

England footballer, Raheem Sterling has said he's going to start offering tours of his tattoos. Sterling made the announcement when he met members of the English media yesterday to discuss his chances of getting...

A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that they will be supporting Brazil in the football. Artemisa Yousir, originally...

The Football Association has long been implacably opposed to the rise of the women’s game. When it first got popular, the FA acted swiftly and banned it in 1921. However, with the rise of...

Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.

Footage has been revealed of the touching scenes when Wayne Rooney was reunited with his hair donor. The meeting took place on the rock of Gibraltar after Rooney was touring the rock and had just...

Buoyed by the Supreme Court's ruling that there was no law of criminal aggression with which to prosecute Tony Blair, Millwall Football Club supporters and thugs rampaged near the high court in London today. "Bliar,...

Former Chelsea Striker Diego Costa says he did not want to leave the club on bad terms, after being dragged kicking and screaming from a burning effigy of Antonio Conte at the Chelsea training...

Tim Farron says he's over the moon at being able to field a full football team of MP's. Mr Farron told the Herald. "This is great. I knew I was doing well when I got recognised...

Following the glaring error made by Irish newspaper, The Herald (no relation) where a picture of the grime MC was used instead of Romelu Lukaku in the story about the players move to Manchester...