Proper footie with a round ball and none of that sissy body armour

Rochdale v Spurs – “New tarmac pitch should silence critics” says spokesfootballer

"I'm prepared to admit that the playing surface wasn't perhaps 110%, but Mr Pinocchio has no right to criticise another club that might not have as much money as Tottenham." A Rochdale AFC spokesman was...

The Rochdale Herald’s Top Ten Tips for Real Supporters and True Football Fans

In honour of signing world famous football man Neville Southall to the Rochdale Herald, here are our top ten tips for real supporters and true football fans. Go football men! 1- Buy your special football...
Wayne Rooney

Touching scenes as Rooney reunited with hair transplant donor

Footage has been revealed of the touching scenes when Wayne Rooney was reunited with his hair donor. The meeting took place on the rock of Gibraltar after Rooney was touring the rock and had just...

ISIS applies for FIFA membership

The murderous psychopathic caliphate known as ISIS has applied to join the world football governing body, FIFA.  In a surprise move, they hope to be able to be accepted in time for the next World...

FA enquiries into unusual betting

The Football Association today launched an inquiry into what it described as 'very bizarre' wagers placed with bookies regarding recent matches. The FA spokesman, Brian Crosse-Barre, 97, said, "After bets were placed on Sutton United's...

Mighty England’s thrilling World Cup opener – Yeah right!

England's opening match of the World Cup campaign was as dull as ditchwater proving that the news of Joe Hart's transfer from Man City to Torino on loan isn't because of his love of...

GBBO causes football fracas

It has been revealed that last night's violence at the London stadium was caused when West Ham fans chanted the name of the Bake Off winner. Knowing full well that Chelsea fans had it...

Stormzy shuts up agent after transfer confusion

Following the glaring error made by Irish newspaper, The Herald (no relation) where a picture of the grime MC was used instead of Romelu Lukaku in the story about the players move to Manchester...

Raheem Sterling to start giving guided tours of his tattoo’s

England footballer, Raheem Sterling has said he's going to start offering tours of his tattoos. Sterling made the announcement when he met members of the English media yesterday to discuss his chances of getting...

Poppies outraged at being hijacked by intolerable, out of touch band of Nationalists.

The prima-donna XI, also known as the England National football team, have confirmed that they will take to the pitch against Germany this Friday, displaying the poppy. However poppies up and down the country have...

‘So what?’ ask arseholes in response to significant event

Football fans across the UK went out of their way this week to prove that their point-missing dim-wittedness was ‘by far the greatest stupidity the world has ever seen’, as they queued up to...

Does my bum look big on top of this broken ambulance?

Several women have taken to the top of ambulances in their latest quest for reassurance about their weight Becky Donaldson, 23, is fairly confident she isn't fat.  But occasionally, she likes reassurance.  Normally she gets...
Christiano Ronaldo

Just £300,000 a month can feed a footballer for a whole week. Please give...

It can be harrowing, truly tragic to see, to see a young, athletic, talented man to have to survive in squalid conditions, living on less than you paid for your house. That is why we...

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