Home Sport Football

Football

Proper footie with a round ball and none of that sissy body armour

Newcastle United fans looking forward to renewed access to match pies and beer

0
The Toon Army are rejoicing following the news that Sports Direct Entrepreneur Sweat Shop owner, Mike Ashley, is to sell the Magpies. Realising that he...
Football

England team reveal plan to completely disappoint everyone is going smoothly

0
Gareth Southgate has revealed that his plan to completely disappoint loads of English people is going exactly according to plan. At a press conference Southgate...

Vatican declares official miracle after England win on penalties

0
The Vatican has tonight declared an official miracle following England's penalty shootout victory over some goat farmers from Colombia. The victory is the first...

ISIS applies for FIFA membership

0
The murderous psychopathic caliphate known as ISIS has applied to join the world football governing body, FIFA.  In a surprise move, they hope to be...
Putin 2

FIFA rejects World Cup draw rigging allegations after Russia selected to play against Russia

0
FIFA have been forced to defend more allegations of corruption after the 2018 World Cup hosts, Russia, were selected to play against themselves in...
Millwall Fans

Millwall football fans hail Supreme Court with bricks and bottles after Blair no criminal...

0
Buoyed by the Supreme Court's ruling that there was no law of criminal aggression with which to prosecute Tony Blair, Millwall Football Club supporters...

New EU rules send shock waves through the terraces

0
New EU rules are set to send shock waves through the football terraces of the UK. According to sources close to the FA, the...

Lib Dems thrilled at prospect of fielding a football team again

0
Tim Farron says he's over the moon at being able to field a full football team of MP's. Mr Farron told the Herald. "This is great....

Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW

0
A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that...

John Terry leaves Villa to spend more time with Wayne Bridge’s family

0
John Terry has announced he's leaving Aston Villa today. Terry said he was leaving so that he could spend more time with Wayne Bridge's...
Goalkeeper

Urinating Salford goalie earns whole side a place in England’s World Cup squad

0
Almost the entire Salford lineup have been selected as part of England’s squad for next year’s World Cup, it has emerged. All the English...

The Beckhams ditch L.A for glorious Rochdale

0
Today the Herald can exclusively reveal the jaw dropping news that the world's biggest star, glamour model, fashion icon, tireless charity worker and one...

Rochdale AFC Announce Stadium Expansion

0
Rochdale's Spotland stadium is set to unveil a new corporate section "with a difference" above the Willbutts Lane stand, in honour of world famous...

Owning an IKEA loyalty card doesn’t count as Swedish heritage, disappointed Scots told

0
Avid football fans across Scotland were left disappointed earlier today when it was confirmed that membership of IKEA's Family Card scheme does not count as Swedish heritage.  The news comes...

Moaning Mourinho In Lip Wobble Outburst

0
The future of games at Old Trafford are in doubt after Manchester United Manager Jose Mourinho demanded the removal of peas from referee's whistles...

Big penis denies any link to Romelu Lukaku

2
A big penis has spoken out today to deny any attachment to Manchester United striker Romelu Lukaku. Speaking to reporters outside his home address, the...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts