Donald Trump is a twat, confirm G6 leaders
Leader's of the G6 have agreed on the text of a communique officially declaring that Donald Trump is a twat.
One spokesperson said, "It's been...
Coal prices spike on news of Katy Hopkins’ incineration
International coal prices have jumped to $120 a tonne, their highest since 2011, following news that a British court has sentenced Daily Mail columnist...
Birds of Prey sue rock band the Eagles
In a landmark case the popular American rock band The Eagles are being sued by a flock of birds for use of the band's...
Giuliani wins Black Man of the Year
Raving Republican Trump-nugget and ex New York mayor, Rudy Giuliani, was voted Black Man of the Year today after it turned...
ISIS claim extended warranty back on their washing machine
As the days pass and we see more and more terror attacks throughout the world, even though some aren't called that by the media...
Turkey pardoned by Trump beats him at scrabble
A Turkey that was pardoned by Donald Trump for Thanksgiving has beaten him at scrabble.
Traditionally a turkey is pardoned by the serving President just...
North Korea fury after Trump sends dick pic following Kim Kardashian meeting
North Korean media has reacted angrily after Donald Trump allegedly sent Kim Jong Un a photo of his genitalia.
Spokesman for North Korea, Ban-Ki-Han-Ki said,...
Trump says he didn’t sexually assault 3.52 billion other women
Bewigged bouffant buffoon, Donald J. Trump, an actual potential president, made the claim at his latest rally.
The tiny handed eater of souls came under...
Absolute arsehole Winnie Mandela dies aged 81
An absolute arsehole has died in South Africa aged 81.
No Government is better than a bad Government Italy tells UK
Italian President, Sergio Mattarella has told the UK that having no Government is better than having a bad Government following the Italian people electing to go with...
Eric Trump banned from All-Valley Championships after breaking Daniel Larusso’s leg
There was fresh controversy in the Trump camp this morning as allegations emerged of cheating in the All-Valley Karate Championships.
In a blow to the...
Ernst Stavro Blofeld a serious contender for Head of FBI
The White House has announced this morning that Blofeld is on the shortlist for the next head of the FBI following Comey's sacking yesterday.
Sanctimonious tax avoiding ex-pat hands back key to city he doesn’t live in for...
London-dwelling sanctimonious tax-avoider Bob Geldof has said he will return his Freedom of the City of Dublin.
Geldof, a remarkably rich registered non-dom who pays...
If we can pay for food we can pay for rockets – say NASA
American space go-getters NASA are said to be up in arms about budget restrictions while there is still enough money available to feed some...
Madame Tussauds new Trump wax work backs out of inauguration
Madame Tussauds have declined to exhibit their new Trump wax work at the impending inauguration on Friday.
Simon Wick, a spokesman for Tussauds said;
"Its nothing...
White House Press Office denies denying denials of denials denying denials
The White House Press Office has issued a fresh set of denials denying denials of denials denying denials.
"We knew about Mr Trump's links to...
