Jesus definitely said ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me, so I can...
The US Vice President, Mike Pence, has told reporters that the Trump administration's policy of keeping child migrants in cages is definitely consistent with the...
President Trump to wear eclipse glasses when viewing the news to protect his thin...
It was announced today via Twitter that President Trump will now wear eclipse glasses when viewing the news in order to protect his thin...
Historic ruling means Saudi men finally allowed to make women driver jokes
Equality campaigners were today celebrating as Saudi Arabia made a long-overdue change to its oppressive rules which prevent men from making jokes about women's...
Hillary Clinton’s ‘Human Suit’ malfunctions at 911 memorial service
The Presidential frontrunners cybernetic 'human suit' momentarily glitched at the recent 911 memorial service at ground zero yesterday, the third time this has happened...
Turkey pardoned by Trump beats him at scrabble
A Turkey that was pardoned by Donald Trump for Thanksgiving has beaten him at scrabble.
Traditionally a turkey is pardoned by the serving President just...
Just £3 a month will pay for cocaine and child prostitutes for an Oxfam...
A new fundraising campaign from Oxfam appealing to the better nature of child abusers is asking for just £3 a month to pay for...
May to wear codpiece and alpha male pig hormone for Trump meeting
In a bid to protect from pussy grabbing and give the impression of a large penis and aura of dominance, Theresa May will today...
Oh,For f*ck’s Sake Most Commonly Used Phrase Of 2016
Oh, for fuck’s sake said everyone this morning, following reports of more people dying at the hands of total arseholes.
After news broke of the...
Intrepid British journalists discover tribe of foreigners who don’t let each other die in...
The British media world was stunned today by the discovery of a tribe of non-British humans who actually attempt to save each other after...
Queen to greet Donald Trump with narwhal tusk
Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to the UK...
Dropping Massive Bomb on Afghanistan not warning to North Korea Spicer tells press conference
The fact that Americans have used a big fuck-off bomb when North Korea and Trump are engaged in a major sabre rattle is just...
Trump appoints David Duke to head Black Lives Don’t Matter initiative
Dr David Duke, former Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, Senate hopeful and all American Nazi Screwball, has accepted President Elect Donald Trump’s offer of a key advisory role in his new government.
You had some very fine people on both sides, Trump tells D-Day veterans
Donald Trump has told D-Day veterans that there were very fine people on both sides of the battles to control the Normandy Beaches during...
Barclays customer sent to Guantanamo after overdraft complaint
A Rochdale man has been kidnapped by US intelligence services and sent to Guantanamo Bay after he complained to his local Barclays Bank about...
Top Vatican paedophiles and the Pope claim Transgender people are ‘crime against God’
Frock wearing top Catholic wizard Pope Francis has decided that transgender people are a crime against God.
"They teach children -children!- that they can choose...
State of emergency declared as Hurricane Dorian heads towards rich white people
Category 4 hurricane 'Dorian' has caused devastation throughout the Bahamas this week.
The hurricane has broken previous records of longest sustained category 5 status and...
