Halloween pumpkin mistaken for President Trump
The embarrassing incident occurred after Ivanka left the pumpkin in the Oval Office. A meeting of President Trump’s closest advisors failed to realise that...
Trump travel ban extends to Narnia
President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order adding Narnia to the travel ban and immediately excluding "followers of Aslan" from entering the...
Scandinavian ‘Too Drunk To Stand’ Following Drunk-Sleighing Arrest
Rochdale magistrates heard how a visitor from Lapland, Mr Nicholas Saint (1,747) created havoc in Rochdale with his erratic control over his team of excitable reindeer pulling a bright red sleigh.
Leaked memo from US Embassy in London written in Crayon
There has been shock amongst diplomatic circles this morning after a leaked memo written in crayon from the US Ambassador in London revealed that...
Trump says IKEA table he ordered arrived ‘pre-blown up’
President Donald J Trump is convinced that ‘something bigly bad’ has gone down in Sweden, after a dining table he ordered from IKEA arrived...
Trump’s travel ban now badge of merit as countries begin adding themselves voluntarily
President Donald Trump, perhaps the funniest American president since the last republican one, has hailed the success of his travel ban after many countries...
Nigel Farage spends £1,000 on Ferrero Rocher ‘just in case’
Far right stringless Thunderbird puppet and multi-millionaire Dulwich educated ex-banker and man of the people Nigel Farage reportedly bought the middle class toffees straight...
Melania Trump was definitely not a prostitute says Melania Trump & Daily Mail
Slovenian "model" and "wife" of "human being" Donald Trump has lashed out at allegations in The Daily Mail that she was a sex worker...
Donald Trump’s penis is largest the world has ever seen says Donald Trump
Donald Trump has asked his propaganda secretary, Sean Spicer, to assure The White House press corps that President Trump's penis is "the largest penis in the history of penises. Period!"
Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme dies aged 73
Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme has died aged 73.
Filmmaker Jonathan Demme, whose Oscar-winning thriller "The Silence of the Lambs" terrified audiences and introduced...
‘MPs Must Respect Democracy’ Demand People With Negligible Grasp Of Democracy
MPs from all parties and from all areas of Britain are being called upon by smug triumphalists to deliver a near unanimous vote in...
Queen to greet Donald Trump with narwhal tusk
Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to the UK...
Black Cops to shoot unarmed white civilians in controversial Charlotte anti-racism plan
Charlotte Police Department have unveiled a controversial yet utterly foolproof plan to combat claims that their police force is institutionally racist.
They're going to let...
I don’t need no intelligence, I got this far without none says Trump
Donald Trump confounded satirists again this week after sensationally declaring that he doesn't need intelligence as he has managed to get this far without it.
“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons.
Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.
With launch codes about...
Liam Fox Announces Trade Deal With Iraq
Liam Fox, Secretary of State For International Trade, has followed up the success of his charm offensive with Duterte, the leader of the Philippines...
