Americans relieved to learn shooter was atheist
Concerned Americans were today relieved to hear that the Texas shooting was carried out by a human rights supporting atheist.
Initially, US citizens were horrified...
Harvey Weinstein apologises for James Corden jokes
Hollywood millionaire Harvey Weinstein has said he is "truly sorry" for cracking jokes about James Corden at a black tie charity dinner in Los...
We did have a Kermit at protest insist violent alt-left anti-Nazi protestors
The anti-Nazi protestors who were in Charlottesville over the weekend have responded furiously to Donald Trump's remarks this morning releasing a statement which read.
"We...
Trump Named Person of the Year by Shit Hair Magazine
In an unpresidented turn of events, one of Donald Trump's tweets was proven to be correct today after Shit Hair Magazine declared him person...
Hurricane Harvey considered least destructive 2020 presidential candidate
In an attempt to win back votes from the orange-painted tweeting shitangutan, the Democrats have turned to Hurricane Harvey to stand as their candidate...
Catalonia makes a break for Eurovision glory
Catalonia today announced a bold step to break out on their own and go for it alone.
Not since the 11th century has there...
Russian-branded Emperor’s new memo wallets causing security concerns
Two mysterious Russian stationery salesmen are coming under scrutiny tonight as memo wallets they supplied to government departments may not be all they are...
Your 60 second news round-up
Here's The Rochdale Herald's round-up of today's important news headlines:
- UKIP leader's girlfriend is a nasty little racist
- Nicola Sturgeon backs a second Scottish...
Trump claims fitness app data proves he has more troops than Kim Jong-Un
President Donald Trump told the world that "there's nobody better than me on the military" last night as he ushers in new era of...
Moron who called moron a moron fired by moron
In a completely expected turn of events, a moron has fired the moron who called him a moron and replaced him with, presumably, another...
Fatal logic feedback loop kills five more Americans
America has once again been proved right as yet another mass shooting takes place in shopping mall and nobody armed inside could shoot the...
Outrage as American woman forced to wear hijab
Supporters of Donald Trump's travel ban have been outraged by this picture of a white American woman who has been forced to wear a...
Revealed! What ‘Brexit’ means.
After months of denying that 'Brexit' could be defined in terms of anything other than being 'Brexit', the Government has finally announced what, in...
International Olympics Comittee ‘really surprised’ by Russian doping
More than 1000 Russian athletes have been implicated as drug cheats by a report today. The Rochdale Herald asks "Only 1000. Really?"
At least 30...
Boris Johnson launches ‘Free Robert Mugabe’ campaign
The campaign is headed up by Boris Johnson who is thought to believe that if it's successful he could be the leader of Zanu...
Trump’s Wall to be Made Out of Thoughts and Prayers
The latest twist in the ongoing farcical shitshow that is the US President's attempt to build an completely pointless wall simply because he said...
