Belgian brewers threaten budget busting Brexit blackmail beer price boost
The world’s biggest beer company, Belgium based Anheuser-Busch Inbev warned Monday that the drop in value of Sterling in the wake of the UK's...
Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person
Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...
ISIS narrowly beats Halloween and Presidential election in annual scary competition
This year's annual scary competition is still a 3 horsemen of the apocalypse race in it's closing stages.
David Brent to sing Equality Street at Trump Inauguration
Following the shock withdrawal of Bruce Springsteen tribute band the B-Street Band from the Trump Inauguration David Brent is thrilled to announce that his band Foregone Conclusion have agreed terms to perform.
Trump Introduces 2020 Presidential Campaign Mascot
President Trump took to the stage in Nuremberg, Florida, on Saturday in front of a crowd seen from space, to unveil his mascot for...
Fatal logic feedback loop kills five more Americans
America has once again been proved right as yet another mass shooting takes place in shopping mall and nobody armed inside could shoot the...
Birds of Prey sue rock band the Eagles
In a landmark case the popular American rock band The Eagles are being sued by a flock of birds for use of the band's...
Specsavers Official Sponsors Of WWIII
Specsavers has announced it has signed a two-year deal as official sponsors of the forthcoming World War Three, with effect from mid November. The company...
Fat bottomed ape learns to mimic human sounds
Washington DC - A seventy year primitive primate that can mimic human words such as hello, bigly, braggadocios, and covfefe is thought to be...
German families to heat homes using hot air from Donald Trump
German families are to use the hot air that emanates from Donald Trump to heat their homes.
The news was broken by the German Government...
Ethnic cleanliness next to Godliness according to the DUP
The DUP were apparently acknowledging today the new opportunities opening up to them, with some pleasure.
DUP spokesmuppet Seamus Allways said "This is orr moment...
Theresa May summons devil to discuss Syria
The prime minister has summoned the devil to discuss the government's response to a suspected chemical weapons attack in Syria.
They are expected to discuss...
William and Kate To Tour North Korea
Prince William and Kate Middleton are to take a break from producing sovereigns for the Royal Mint and tour North Korea.
Foreign Secretary Boris...
Donald Trump to lift Muslim ban ‘with immediate effect’ after learning of Manchester protests
The new President's controversial Muslim ban has caused outrage across the globe and chaos in airports all across the US.
Last night thousands of protesters...
Donald Trump is a twat, confirm G6 leaders
Leader's of the G6 have agreed on the text of a communique officially declaring that Donald Trump is a twat.
One spokesperson said, "It's been...
Missile strike in Syria; mass outpouring of grief from OneDirection fans
Following the disastrous US missile strike in Syria yesterday which claimed the lives of 57 civilians including 11 children, teenagers and young adults around...
