US celebrates Independence Day by ceding from Trump
Secret delegations from the 50 states of the United States of America have agreed a plan to avoid the impeachment of Donald Trump as...
Man with solid gold living room tells government “I don’t pay tax because you...
A man who owns a solid gold living room reportedly told one hundred million of his closest friends that he doesn't pay Tax in...
Russian presidential candidates have families safely returned in wake of Putin’s re-election
The families of all seven Russian Presidential candidates have been returned safely after the totally unexpected landslide victory for Vladimir Putin.
Today Vladimir Putin has...
Boris Johnson launches ‘Free Robert Mugabe’ campaign
The campaign is headed up by Boris Johnson who is thought to believe that if it's successful he could be the leader of Zanu...
Donald Trump commemorative jigsaws to have missing pieces by design
The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces.
The...
Rescue divers call off search for viable Customs Union Plan
Rescue divers searching for a viable plan for a customs union palatable to lunatic backbench MPs have finally called off the search.
Having plumbed the...
Trump asking his people to crack the nuclear codes in case he needs to...
‘I hope POTUS has his best people working on cracking the nuclear codes in case we go to war with that crazy man in Canada.’
Heroic arsonist awarded posthumous bravery medal for putting out fire
A heroic self-admitted arsonist in Northern Ireland has been awarded a posthumous medal for bravery after spending half a lifetime putting out suspicious looking...
Putin gives Trump “requires improvement” rating during annual appraisal meeting
Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin have sought to deny allegations that President Trump has been awarded a, "requires improvement" rating during his first one...
President Trump has hopes dashed each time he hears ‘oui oui’ during French visit
Donald Trump is experiencing an emotional rollercoaster during his ongoing French visit because each time he hears a French woman say ‘oui oui’ he...
Thank God it was a lone wolf with mental issues and not a terrorist...
More than 50 people have been killed and over 200 injured in a gun attack in Las Vegas, Nevada, today.
It has become the...
US Closes Wardrobe Border Travel Bans on Narnians and Radical Followers of Aslan
President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order immediately banning "followers of Aslan" from entering the US.
This will instantly affect talking beavers, centaurs...
Small bald man held for questioning over fairground disappearance of six children
Police have arrested a small bald wizard in connection with the unsolved disappearance of six children between the ages of 8 and 15 at...
Father Ted to use toy cow to explain perspective to Donald Trump
It’s hoped that repeatedly asking Donald Trump to examine both the toy cow and the cows visible at varying distances outside of the caravan will cause a lightbulb moment in the dark and empty space that serves as a brain for Donald, but no one is getting their hopes up.
The Middle East starts packing as Blair hints at return to politics
The Oxford English definition of irony, former Middle East Peace Envoy, Tony Blair, suggested a political return may be on the cards in a...
Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band
Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.
