IOC Vote Against New American Sport in 2020 Olympics

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The USA's hopes to add another pointlessly American sport to the 2020 Olympic have been dashed by the IOC due to concerns over the...

Trump barred from White House toilets

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President Donald Trump has been the first victim of his cancellation of orders compelling universities and other institutions to respect personal identity. Although rescinding the orders was...

Australian PM Turnbull Reaffirms his Compassionate Commitment to Offshore Detention

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Last night’s Four Corners program on asylum seekers held on Nauru, elicited an angry response from the Nauruan government, who accused the ABC of racism.

Trump tells reporters that he’s cured Megadeth

POTATUS, Donald Trump has made a sensational claim that he's cured Megadeth today. In a rambling 4 hour speech Trump said, "You know what's amazing?...
French Military

French Head of Military resigns after Macron cuts £1bn from White Flag Budget

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General Pierre de Villiers today sensationally quit as Head of the French Military in a row over cuts to the French White Flag budget. General...
Julian Assange

Julian Assange unveils plans to have quiet weekend in front of the TV

Julian Assange has tonight been giving a speech outlining his plans for the weekend. Mr Assange who, was told today by a Swedish prosecutor that rape...
Hugh Hefner

Playboy Bunnies surprised to find Hugh Hefner stiffer than usual

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Notorious Bachelor and soft core pornographer Hugh Hefner was pronounced dead this morning at his home, the Playboy Mansion, Los Angeles. Early reports indicate that...
Kim Jong Un

Kim Jong-un claims North Korea ‘now a Hurricane Power’ after successful Atlantic test

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North Korean leader Kim Jong-un praised the "perfect success" of the country's third and largest Hurricane test and urged further weather development. According to state...

Trump marks 50 years since Abraham Lincoln walked on Mars

Donald Trump has today given a speech suggesting that it's the 50th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln walking on Mars. A spokesman for POTATUS said,...

President Trump to wear eclipse glasses when viewing the news to protect his thin...

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It was announced today via Twitter that President Trump will now wear eclipse glasses when viewing the news in order to protect his thin...
Sandy Hook

We’re doing just fine says President of country whose hobbies include shooting children at...

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The so-called President of a country that lists shooting children at school amongst its most popular hobbies has told the UK Prime Minster to...

“I wasn’t wanking, I was self-isolating.” Paris Mayor candidate caught on video.

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Benjamin Griveaux dropped out of the race to become the next Mayor of Paris after video emerged appearing to show him making love to...

Outrage in Rochdale as taxi drivers no longer legally required to speak English

Rochdale residents will have to scrub up their language skills because as of Friday taxi drivers in the city are no longer legally required...

Irishman confused by difference between abortions and prosecuting women

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An Irish fella is presently proving himself more full of gas than a tinker's hound by spouting no end of shite on the twitters....
Donald Trump

Actor playing Donald Trump forgets stage directions

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Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best...

Netanyahu Furious After Trump Scores Israel Lower Than Saudi Arabia In TripAdvisor Review

Prime Minister Netanyahu demanded an apology from the White House today. The move came after Donald Trump scored his Israeli short stay lower than Saudi Arabia...

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