Scandal as Trump attempts to circumvent physical laws
In his bid to become master of the universe, Donald Trump has postulated a new set of axioms about the physical universe as we...
President Trump wins golf tournament with hole in one on final difficult windmill
Donald Trump has begun his seventeen day summer vacation on a high after winning an international competition at his private golf course in New...
Julian Assange wins FSB employee of the month
Julian Assange has explained that he is happy to be awarded FSB's employee of the month for July award.
The Russian secret service organisation said...
Da Vinci’s ‘My Spunky Pantaloons’ sells for £45m
A previously unknown Leonardo da Vinci work "My Spunky Pantaloons" has been bought bought by Charles Saatchi for £45m.
The jizzy kecks will be...
Trump attends Paris Armistice commemoration after hearing there is a golf course nearby
POTATUS has attended an Armistice commemoration in Paris a day after demonstrating the sort of spirit that has earned him the nickname, Cadet Bone...
President Trump to ‘grab May by the pussy’
Donald Trump may touch the UK prime minister's vagina in their first private meeting, the president has tweeted.
The straw-haired misogynist wrote, "Excited to meet...
DUP ask Merkel for one billion Euros to give her their support in Bundestag
News broke this morning that the Northern Ireland political party, the DUP, has demanded one billion euros from Angela Merkel in order to support...
Only 350 High School Shootings left until Christmas
Children across the United States of America were very excited to learn this morning that it's now officially only 350 school shootings until Christmas.
With...
Thousands of Americans in hospital after attempting microwave selfies…
Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway’s assertion that microwaves can ‘turn into cameras’ has led to thousands of Americans winding up in hospital after putting their...
Kim Jong-un claims North Korea ‘now a Hurricane Power’ after successful Atlantic test
North Korean leader Kim Jong-un praised the "perfect success" of the country's third and largest Hurricane test and urged further weather development.
According to state...
Small bald man held for questioning over fairground disappearance of six children
Police have arrested a small bald wizard in connection with the unsolved disappearance of six children between the ages of 8 and 15 at...
Boris Johnson backtracks after accidentally telling truth about Saudi Arabia
After Boris Johnson was recorded last week saying that countries such as Iran and Saudi Arabia often fight proxy wars in the Middle East...
Not being liked by Vladimir Putin IS natural causes, confirms coroner
The UK police have admitted that perhaps they had jumped to a hasty conclusion after coroners concluded that a Russian businessman who strangled himself...
North Korea fury after Trump sends dick pic following Kim Kardashian meeting
North Korean media has reacted angrily after Donald Trump allegedly sent Kim Jong Un a photo of his genitalia.
Spokesman for North Korea, Ban-Ki-Han-Ki said,...
Kim Jong Un can’t dance, that brother ain’t got no Seoul
“Kim Jong Un? He can’t dance, that brother ain’t got no Seoul. You know I put the rump into Trump babycakes. When I slut drop you know it’s going to be fire and fury on the dance floor.”
Dinosaurs deny existence of meteorite impact assessment
The dinosaurs today issued a statement in response to the challenge that they release their assessment on what would happen if the planet was...
