Dumpster Fire

Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy

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Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.
Brexiter

Brexiter fury as Europe steals patented British Divide and Conquer negotiating strategy

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Brexiters across this once mighty country were swearing into their fry ups this morning with the discovery the EU has a negotiating strategy. "It's just...

Steve Bannon Torn Over Best Way To F*ck The Disabled

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Following reports that Donald Trump will no longer repeal an Executive Order protecting LGBT rights, White House insiders have revealed that his Chief Strategist,...
Donald Trump Wig

Saudi Arabia’s handling of Khashoggi killing worst cover up ever, says completely bald man

A completely bald man who is convinced everybody thinks he has a full head of hair has criticised Saudi Arabia's handling of the killing...

Border Control detain drug using hate preacher

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Praise for Security Services for successful policing of border A known hate preacher, in South Africa to sow racial tension, has been successfully detained by...
White House

Reality TV to blame for increase in number of f*cknuggets being elected president, say...

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Reality TV is to blame for the number of imbeciles and ding-a-lings who are being elected president of the United States, video games have...

North Korean media reports North Korea has won the World Cup

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North Korea has won the World Cup despite not qualifying for the tournament. At least that's what the north Korean media has said today. North...
Putin Tillerson

Putin sacks head of US State Department Rex Tillerson

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WASHINGTON - The leader of the United States, President Vladimir Putin, announced Tuesday morning that he had fired his Secretary State Rex Tillerson and...

Statue Of Liberty To Be Deported

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America's creepiest uncle, State Department Obergruppenführer Steve 'Steve-O' Bannon confirmed today that steps were being taken to deport 'dangerous subversive' the Statue of Liberty.  "Ms...

Trump Invades Iraq

President Trump has declared war on Iraq after a five minute conversation with Tony Blair. The former British PM, referred to by White House officials...

Trump appoints Rochdale Herald editor chief of intelligence

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More details have been emerging of the structure of the Trump elected new administration which is taking shape. Amid the circulating rumours of secret talks...
Donald Trump

Lord Lucan, Pol Pot, Martin Borman ,Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi and Boko Haram emerge from...

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An entire top shelf of global mass murderers have signalled they plan to emerge from hiding following the announcement by US president Donald trump...

Bands line up to celebrate Trump’s impeachment

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The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal the star studded line up already in place for celebrating the impeachment of Donald Trump, expected to take...
Donald Trump

Actor playing Donald Trump forgets stage directions

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Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best...
Nuclear explosion

“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons. 

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Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.  With launch codes about...
Illegal Immigrants boarding ship

New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants

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In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...

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