Dictionary entry for word "definition"

Revealed! What ‘Brexit’ means.

After months of denying that 'Brexit' could be defined in terms of anything other than being 'Brexit', the Government has finally announced what, in...
Steve Bannon

Steve Bannon ‘resigns’ to spend more time with his prejudices

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Steve Bannon has announced that he'll now have more time to be with his prejudices following his sacking by mutual consent earlier today. A White...

Donald Trump hospitalised with self-inflicted gunshot wound

0
Reports are coming in that Donald Trump has been hospitalised with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the foot.

Putin’s money was just resting in my account Trump tells James Comey

0
Donald Trump has dismissed as fake news any suggestion that money that has appeared in his account is anything to do with collusion with...
Scaramucci

I only just learned how to spell Scaramucci and he’s been fucking fired, complains...

18
A highly paid and widely syndicated satirist has complained about the firing of the White House Head of Communications Antony Scarymuchly, as he’s only...
Theresa May

Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students

11
"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...

Churchill, Bill Clinton, Castro estates involved in Cuban cigar crisis

0
The demise of Castro has triggered a dangerous standoff between East and West superpowers.  Upon the news of the death of Castro shares in antique...
Happy Children

Tower Block residents look forward to less health and safety legislation post Brexit

7
A recent survey of tenants living in firetrap and substandard accommodation has showed overwhelming support for abolishing laws designed to protect them. The survey for...

Trump campaign an elaborate game of  ‘Electoral Chicken’

0
Emails leaked from Donald Trump's campaign office over the weekend appear to show that the follically absurd pseudo-politician is engaged in a mass game...
White House Christmas

Children excited it’s only three US defence secretaries until Christmas

0
Children all across America are giddy with excitement that it is now officially only three US defence secretaries until Christmas morning. The news comes after...

Giuliani wins Black Man of the Year

0
Raving Republican Trump-nugget and ex New York mayor, Rudy Giuliani, was voted Black Man of the Year today after it turned...
Donald Genius Trump

Trump awards Trump Imaginary Medal of Honor for imaginary heroics

0
President of the actually terrific US, Donald Trump, is to reward his own bravery with a special medal, the Purple Cheeseburger, after his courage...

A country full of religious crackpots shouldn’t have nuclear weapons, says country full of...

19
A country full of religious crackpots and nuclear weapons has condemned another country full of religious crackpots for pressing on with their nuclear programme. Hassan...
Katy Hopkins dressed as Virgin Mary

Coal prices spike on news of Katy Hopkins’ incineration

0
International coal prices have jumped to $120 a tonne, their highest since 2011, following news that a British court has sentenced Daily Mail columnist...

Trump Spokesman Revealed As Black Knight

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The Herald can exclusively reveal today that the Trump campaign aide, Michael Cohen, is the mysterious Black Knight.   The secretive warrior and guard to stuff...

Donald Trump Jr upset by chants of ‘lock him up’ from Donald Trump Snr

0
Donald Trump Jr has allegedly complained that President Trump keeps chanting 'lock him up' at him. Trump Junior made a complaint to a White House...

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