The world is on the edge of its seat awaiting the next exchange between President of The United Hates of Americaland, Donald J Trump, and communist dictator and universally acknowledged fucktard, Kim Jong Un.
With their fingers poised, hovering above the red button of doom like a wasp over your jam on a summer’s day, the fate of our planet is in the hands of two equally lunatic and deranged, power hungry madmen whose idea of a good day at the office is one where their dicks have been waved, their chests thumped and their egos stroked to the point of orgasm.
So, how do you solve a problem like Korea?
We put this question to The Mother Abbess at Nonnberg in Salzburg, Austria. “Well, when I had a problem a little while ago I solved it by sending the offending student nun off to be a governess,” she told us.
“That all turned out well in the end so I would apply the same logic here. Why not think about a job swap? Let’s start at the very beginning, it’s a very good place to start. Why don’t we put Donald in charge of North Korea and Kim Jong Un in charge of the good ole US of A.
“They are so similar in so many ways. They both like raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. They’re both big fans of girls in white dresses in red coloured sashes, snowflakes that stay on their clothes and eyelashes and nuclear winters that melt into springs. These are a few of their favourite things.
“Obviously we’d take any responsibility for military action, missile launching etc out of their podgy little hands. They’d just have to get on with the day to day running of things. Trump would have to answer to North Korea’s politburo and Kimmy boy would be hauled over the coals by the house of representatives and the senate. It would give them both a better grasp on world politics. Let’s face it, neither of them have got the first clue what they’re doing at the moment.”
With the hills alive with the sound of air raid sirens maybe it’s time to climb every mountain in search of an answer and follow the Mother Abbess’s advice.
So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye.