German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas. 

With every British town apparently having a German Christmas market now, Germans are wondering where they can buy tacky snow globes, overpriced Glüwein, horrible gingerbread and vast amounts of grilled horse penises in a bun.

However, German minister for exporting seasonal cobblers, Gerhard Orrgerhöm, praised the market traders entrepreneurial spirit;

“It’s amazing that after the Brexit vote the British are entirely welcoming of their city and town centers being turned into the EU country they hate the most. And with the weak pound at the moment, every 3 legged wooden reindeer sold can put the market stall holders children through university.”

“If Hitler had sent over the 3rd Bierkeller and Bratwurst brigade in a squadron of garden sheds at Christmas in 1939 instead of the Luftwaffe, then history would have been a lot different.”