The Boy Scouts of America have issued a statement denying meeting Donald Trump.
“It never happened. It’s fake news folks.” The statement begins.
“Only a sick, sick person would believe that we would ask a man who boasts about having zero understanding of the role of consent in human relations to talk to thirty thousand young people. What if they became infected?”
This statement directly contradicts media footage of President Trump imploring approximately thirty thousand uniformed individuals at a mass rally yesterday.
Although it’s uncertain if it was the scouts Trump was raving at as he is not seen in the same frame as a scout at any stage.
Very possibly he was addressing an open therapy session for people still unable to accept that Obama was ever President.
Asked how they explain the footage the Boy Scouts advised,
“As we understand things the President was holidaying in North Korea and spoke to a rally of soldiers while there. He is passing this off as addressing the scouts to try and boost his poll ratings. It’s smart for him to visit North Korea though. He’ll get more loyalty when he retires and becomes president there.”
The Boy Scouts are believed to be introducing a new badge in honour of Trump though, one called ‘nepotism’.
“In order to gain the nepotism badge a scout will have to take over a mid sized business in their local area and fill as many senior posts with immediate family relatives as they can.”
Plans are also afoot to introduce badges for ‘denial (of reality)’ and a craving need for public adulation called simply ‘Trump’. Also ‘impeachment’ and ‘Twitter addiction’.
“They’re a break from the norm. Those badges are gained by displaying to your peers what you should not do. We’ll be sending Mr Trump all of them to sew on his business shirt.”