Sweden not rocked by terrorist incident

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Hundreds of Swedes were not killed on Friday night by a terrorist attack. A suicide bomber, described by police as non-existent, failed to detonate explosives in a crowded shopping centre, or, indeed, anywhere else.
Royal Navy

Royal Navy ordered to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at...

10 Downing Street has ordered the Royal Navy to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at a British fish. The order has...

Australian Government launches plan to solve poverty by fining poor people

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It has been revealed that secret meetings between the Prime Minister’s office and the Australian Federal Police has culminated in Operation Integrity, a scheme designed to push as many welfare recipients as possible, over the edge.
Elephants

NRA claims that fewer elephants would be shot by hunters if more of them...

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The National Rifle Association has today put out a statement claiming that fewer African elephants would fall victim to big game hunters if they...

ISIS Propose Christmas Cease-Fire Kickabout

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ISIS troops fighting around the city of Palmyra have suggested that hostilities be put aside for a few hours at Christmas for an informal game of football with opposing ground forces.

Theresa May summons devil to discuss Syria

The prime minister has summoned the devil to discuss the government's response to a suspected chemical weapons attack in Syria. They are expected to discuss...

Racist Republicans deny that their voting districts are racist

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Republicans in North Carolina deny that their voting districts were drawn up based on race. After the Supreme Court ruled 5-3 that the boundaries were...

Canada and Mexico to build border walls if World Bank will fund a lid

The governments of Canada and Mexico reached an historic agreement today to build 50 foot tall walls along their borders with the US on the proviso that the World Bank lends them the money for a lid.

Nuttall Claims Best Actor At Oscars

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Armenian born British Actor Constantine Felangi, better known by his stage name of Paul Nuttall, seized the coveted golden statue for Best Actor at...

Pornhub to hide videos between pages of print for 24hrs in tribute to Hefner

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Online mega porn hub, Pornhub, has announced it will hide every video on its webpage between pages of unnecessary print journalism for twenty four...

Outrage in Rochdale as taxi drivers no longer legally required to speak English

Rochdale residents will have to scrub up their language skills because as of Friday taxi drivers in the city are no longer legally required...

Italians face criticism over construction. 

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The Italian government had come under severe criticism today for the standards of its building construction in the 1600's. This comes in the wake...
Obama and Biden

Obama and Biden spend last afternoon playing ‘hide the turd’ at White House

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Outgoing President and his VP Joe Biden have spent their last afternoon in office playing 'hide the turd' in The White House.

Spicer denies Flynn worked as National Security Advisor, Trump demands Flynn’s birth certificate

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The Trump administration has attempted to erase any indication that Michael Flynn, a retired U.S. General and former National Security Advisor for the administration, worked in...
Boris Johnson

Downing Street all go for Bojo Moscow no show

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Downing Street has defended its decision not to send Boris Johnson to Russia on Monday. The decision came in the aftermath of the chemical weapons...
Fat Man on Beach

I’m not an immigrant, I’m British says Britain First supporter who lives on the...

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When asked what he would describe himself as, as an Englishman abroad, he will usually say something like: “Im an export int I”

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