International News

The Head of the Turkish Electoral Commission has put to rest rumours of vote rigging in Sunday's referendum to give almost unlimited powers to Recep Erdogan. "The referendum was definitely not rigged." Mr Recep Erdogan,...

A country full of religious crackpots and nuclear weapons has condemned another country full of religious crackpots for pressing on with their nuclear programme. Hassan Rouhani, the President of Iran, has spoken to The Rochdale...

Donald Trump hit a new low today by disembowelling a newborn baby and eating her still beating heart like an apple after she interrupted him during a speech at a rally. The esteemed political philosopher...

Scenes of wild jubilation, gunfire and a surfeit of 'Go Large Burgers with Extra Fries' greeted the overnight transformation of the United States of America into a parody of itself. Fat people all over the...

It's all better in California now after a much needed vital shipment of thoughts and prayers arrived in Gilroy following today's mass shooting. "Yeah, we're crating up the thoughts and prayers from the Jacksonville shooting...

The world has been glued to the news whenever Donald Trump makes an announcement regarding the bitter rivalry with North Korea. As we have been waiting with bated breath to find out the outcome...

Police Officers in Bumshart Nebrahoma were furious to discover that recruitment posters around the town had been defaced with pictures of Donald Trump. The multi-million pound recruitment drive in the book free town of Bumshart...

Sean Spicer has put his foot in mouth again today by accidentally drawing comparisons between Hitler's wife, Eva Braun, and the First Lady, Melania Trump. "Stop making mountains out of molehills." Spicer screamed at The...

Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool Tower in his Hull constituency. In a statement the Foreign Office said, "It...

Following alleged intense research on the part of our Ace reporter, The Rochdale Herald is able to reveal the latest acadamic theory surrounding the construction of Gregorian Calendar. Professor Archimest Binge, of the Rochdale University,...

Vladimir Putin has won the Russian version of Celebrity Great British Bake-off after all the other contestants sadly died in tragic but mysterious circumstances. Mr Putin started competing in the latest series in January this...

Christmas is coming, the POTUS is getting fat. Please to put a penny in the old man's retirement fund. Following the latest Trumptastrophy in Alabama, The White House have announced that there are only two...

President Trump has declared war on Iraq after a five minute conversation with Tony Blair. The former British PM, referred to by White House officials as T-Bone, was invited to the White House on Saturday...

The DUP were apparently acknowledging today the new opportunities opening up to them, with some pleasure. DUP spokesmuppet Seamus Allways  said "This is orr moment in history, so it is. We now have the parrr...

I was born white and as such I face discrimination on a daily basis. Only the other day I was told I couldn't have a job in Starbucks because I have a swastika tattoo on my face. Apparently it may offend customers. It's because I'm white.

During his state visit, the king of Spain addressed the British parliament yesterday. All went well until the king dropped the G-bomb: Gibraltar. A body of Conservative MPs, led by Sir Roderick Bartleby-McSmythe MP...