Theresa May has given her sort code, pin number and bank account number to a Nigerian Prince she’s met whilst negotiating trade.
The exchange came earlier today when May met Prince Muttasim Billah Gadaffi in Lagos. During the exchange the Prince told Mrs May that he could arrange for a very lucrative trade deal for the UK but he would first require the payment, via Western Union, of £5bn.
A source close to the Rochdale Herald said, “Mrs May thought it was a very good deal. For the £5bn we get access rights to loads of Nigerian oil fields and several diamond mines. Not only that, but Mrs May also has a long lost relative in Nigeria who dies leaving £200bn in assets. Obviously you see the advantages.”
The Government hopes that the trade deal will show that the UK is fully open for business and will sell cluster bombs to practically anyone. A Government spokesman said, “Look, this is the sort of bright future that the UK has to look forward to now we’re out of the EU. Africa is full of princes who die interstate that Mr Gadaffi can introduce us to. Pretty soon everyone in Britain will be running their own diamond mine.”
However, it is reported that there has been a hitch. “Once the money had cleared into Mr Gaddaffi’s account he seems to have been cut off by his mobile phone service provider. It’s unfortunate but we’ve left some very sternly worded messages on his answer machine so we’re quite confident he will get back in contact with us. If you can’t trust a Gadaffi then who can you trust?”