Praise for Security Services for successful policing of border

A known hate preacher, in South Africa to sow racial tension, has been successfully detained by border staff. Diligent officers noticed the known drug user as she approached passport control, still clearly under the influence.

With a mouth drier than Cape Town, she croaked something about having been in the country on business. But our brave boys and girls that look after our borders, they knew she was really here to make recruitment videos for extremists.

We know this, because after receiving medical treatment from our fine doctors and nurses, this Ketty Hopkins character made a video criticising the press for covering the impact of the drugs on her, rather than covering her attempts to sow racial discord.

She probably thought she could make some ad revenue from the videos, but we think this is a small price to pay for a confession on tape. Thanks for the evidence.

We know full well that we have a problem in that some people are very rich and some people are very poor. That causes crime. We hope one day to be able to have a better welfare system to address that and thank our people, but in the meantime we are trying our best. We know many of the former are white and many of the latter are black.

We know some of our people would liked to have taken back the land. But we also know that because we have been calm, we avoided some of the problems that our friends in other nations have. We have a long road to travel still, but we are a rainbow nation, and we will stay strong together despite this provocation.

Once we have processed this dangerous immigrant, we hope to deport her quickly to her country of origin. Although, maybe we should put her in Robben Island first for a bit, hey!

We know the British Legal System knows what can happen when some pathetic little man with a van believes this hate, and we hope they deal with their terrorist on her return.

This article first appeared in our sister paper, the Johannesburg Herald, and is reprinted with their kind permission.

Like many satirists, Johnny Wapping accepts he is an arsehole, and thinks society could be better if we were all willing to accept what arseholes we are. If you see him on Facebook, why not ask if he's read the article?