Australia to import convicts and export coal – Says Turnbull 

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Australian Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, has left the G20 Summit with what he called a "stupendous new deal". After much grovelling to British Prime...

Kennedy files reveal he is definitely dead

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The publication of nearly 3,000 previously classified files relating to the assassination of John F Kennedy in 1963 reveals that the former US President...

Conspiracy theorists concerned nobody might be in charge after all

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American conspiracy theorists heads are exploding at an alarming rate as the two main presidential candidates get more and more terrible. "Up until yesterday I was...

Theresa May offers Germany Sunderland

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Theresa May was left visibly irritated this morning when a generous offer to Germany was rejected out of hand. May’s sincere offer, to hand Sunderland over...
Donald Trump

Dictator of country full of gullible starving peasants to meet Kim Jong Un

The ludicrous dictator of a crackpot banana republic full of gullible half starved peasants is to meet with the leader of North Korea, it...

Trump asks to buy Greenland after hearing it is actually white

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President Trump has indicated his strong interest in buying Greenland from the Danish.  The move has shocked US analysts as it comes just weeks...

Tim Nice But Dim appointed UK Ambassador to the EU

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In a surprise move Theresa May has appointed Tim Nice But Dim UK Amabassador to the EU.

Obama rushed to hospital after biting through lip during Trump press conference

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President Barack Obama was rushed to hospital yesterday after sustaining injuries during a press conference. Herald reporter Scott McCracknee was there and describes what happened. "Mr...

Trump travel ban extends to Narnia

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President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order adding Narnia to the travel ban and immediately excluding "followers of Aslan" from entering the...
White House

It’s too soon since last mass shooting and not long enough before next to...

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In the wake of the latest mass shooting in a school in Florida that has claimed the lives of at least 14 people The White House...

Hillary Clinton’s ‘Human Suit’ malfunctions at 911 memorial service

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The Presidential frontrunners cybernetic 'human suit' momentarily glitched at the recent 911 memorial service at ground zero yesterday, the third time this has happened...

‘One is married to Philip’ Queen reminds Public who think Trump too racist for...

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Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.  The petition insists...

Trump calls for ‘total and complete shutdown’ of dinosaurs entering US after seeing new...

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Donald Trump has called for a 'total and complete shutdown' of dinosaurs entering the United States after inadvertently watching the new trailer for Jurassic...
Sea Creature

Mysterious fanged sea creature that washed up on Texas beach identified as Steve Bannon

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The large fanged, faceless sea creature that washed up on a southeastern Texas beach following Hurricane Harvey has finally been identified. The identity of the...
Trump Flag

All soldiers know what they are signing up for, that’s why I dodged the...

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The West Wing has been forced to defend President Trump against malicious disinformation about his health and state of mind for months. Allegations about his...
Russophobia

Russia accuse Boris of hysterical Russophobia

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Russia has responded to Boris Johnson's accusations of war crimes by counter-accusing the British government and Boris in particular of 'Russophobia.' Despite what one may...

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