Health

A Rochdale man who failed GCSE Science has revealed he's an expert on pediatrics and specializes in treatments for Pneumonia. Bill Board loudly announced his expertise to surprised family members this morning over a...

The popular sweets Skittles will today be banned from sale all across the world after news has emerged that just 3 of them contain lethal poison after US Presidential candidate Donald Trump uncovered the...

The underfunding and imminent collapse of the NHS is due to a little known government policy on the zombie apocalypse sources have revealed. Zombiepreppers in the UK were delighted this week when Jeremy Hunt...

For years normal people have been subjected to snooty vegans looking down on them and preaching how immoral they are for eating animals just because they taste delicious.

NHS boffins have rolled out the big guns this week, spending over half of their £42.50 IT budget on futuristic anti-virus software. ? "We needed someone who knows our Windows 95 computer system inside out" said...

A Rochdale homeopathy shop has been forced to close this week after it was discovered to be selling vegan snake oil containing old wives tails. Moonbeam Charlatan, 45, owner of the popular Never Better "alternative...

do With temperatures hitting 30°C across the nation, dog owners have been warned to pay special attention to their four legged friends. Each year the RSPCA recieves dozens of complaints of animals locked in hot cars,...

There were grave concerns for Katie Hopkins today when the massive chip she uses as a shoulder deepened and caused her arm to calve from the giant ice shelf that is the rest of...

The Conservative Party has released its newest manifesto pledge to increase A&E floor space in the 40 hospitals they are definitely not building, as well as ensuring 50,000 more coats for sick children to...

Former East 17 Band member and serial own foot shooter Brian Harvey is said to be in trouble with the police over alleged malicious Tweeting. The runty Rottweiler once fronted the Poundland version of...

Salisbury hospital was closed today and 2 people are still critically ill today amidst extraordinary scenes said to be the result of Jeremy Hunt. The incident first started when patients began to feel nauseous. Dr...

New depths of smugness have been plumbed by a man in Clitheroe who gave up smoking on the 1st of January. Tomothy Morning-Wood, who had been a smoker for over 30 years until January 2018,...

UK shoppers were in ecstasy as bendy bananas made a comeback into British supermarkets following Parliament’s decision to allow Prime Minister Theresa May to trigger article 50. Although bendy bananas are not strictly allowed...

Campaigners are thrilled after their campaign to reverse a decision by NHS bosses to no longer prescribe homeopathy on the NHS. After winning the right to a judicial review the British Homeopathic Association is thrilled...

Since moving to London, St Cuthbert's alumnus Ben Green has prided himself on, in his own words, "spreading his chutney round Putney".  Claiming to have graduated one of Rochdale's leading Catholic schools, he has...

Almost a quarter of the nation's hospitals have turned to stripping to make up for funding shortfalls, according to a new report. Commissioned by a group of Ralf Little fans and shared exclusively with the...