Racists awarded PIP’s under new mental health provisions

Penny Mordor MP, Secretary of State for Disabled People, Work and Health announced this morning wide ranging changes to the qualification criteria for PIP (Personal Independence Payment). The payment, designed to assist individuals who are long term...

Fat Fighters launches gold leaf ‘Sin Free’ range

Fat Fighters has introduced a new range gold leaf coated products to help gullible fatties spend more money and lose even more weight. The company has launched the range as part of its Sin Free...

Nurses threaten to go on saving lives if public sector pay cap isn’t removed

Nurses have upped the ante with the Government by sensationally threatening to continue to act in a professional fashion in their ongoing dispute over pay. In a daring game of brinksmanship they are making a...

Creator of Sitcom-Only Medical Procedure Heimlichs Out

US doctor Henry Heimlich, who invented the manoeuvre used to help victims of choking, has died aged 96. Dr Heimlich died at a hospital in the US city of Cincinnati early on Saturday following complications...

NHS Whistleblower Reveals 15,000 Children Prescribed E-cigs

Thousands of smokers, who trusted NHS Smoking Cessation Therapies, were expressing their outrage this morning. The smouldering tempers result from the revelation that up to fifteen thousand children have been prescribed e-cigs, or vaping inhalers,...

Diabetes sufferers celebrate reduced risk with ‘messy weekend’

The news that top scientists have established that people who drink alcohol more regularly are less likely to develop diabetes. The results found that even compared to those who are teetotal, occasional drinkers had...

Celebrities reveal best detox is to take money from idiots

Celebrities have allegedly been explaining how the best detox is to take money from idiots. In a statement celebrity food blogger Andrew Coconut Fox said, "The best thing to do is identify a vegetable or...

Boots fight elitism by pricing poor people out of contraception

High Street favourite Boots has been in hot water lately over the row which arose from the response regarding the morning after pill. The situation has caused outrage among shoppers, who claim that they...

Snake oil cures are for idiots, say snakes

A spokesnake for snakes everywhere has said that snake oil cures not one single disease known to man. "I get that being mortal is terrifying stuff, but you really have to wonder at the sense...
Refugee Doctor

Cholera stricken Yemenis welcome arrival of western homeopaths

Authorities in Yemen have welcomed the arrival of western homeopaths in its battle against a recent Cholera outbreak. Larisa Ahmad told us, "We welcome the arrival of western homeopaths to Yemen. They will be useful...

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