We’re showing some restraint, how about the rest of you try it
Like most of the country, the Herald woke up this morning to the news of a catastrophic tower block fire in West London. This...
EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain
The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...
Stop calling us liars, lying racist shitsticks tell Microsoft
The Daily Mail is calling for a web browser alert that tells readers that prolonged exposure to its website will turn them into completely...
Queen’s festive question for Balmoral faithful
Her Majesty The Queen has returned to the Balmoral Estate to spend time with her family over the Christmas holiday and will be attending...
FA cup cancelled due to Royal Wedding scheduling clash
The Rochdale Herald has learned that the Football Association have taken the unprecedented step of cancelling the 2018 FA Cup final.
The move comes after...
In London you’re never more than 6ft from a Tory Party leadership candidate, study...
The old adage has it that we're never more than six feet away from a Conservative Party leadership candidate?
It's a saying that seems almost...
British vegetarians declare tuna a vegetable for the sake of everyone’s sanity on Spanish...
The Royal Society of Being Scared of Food, which has represented vegetarians for over forty years, declared tuna a vegetable today for the purpose...
Jim Bowen to be placed in burning speedboat in viking funeral
Jim Bowen, the comedian and inventor of darts is to receive a full viking funeral.
Mr Bowen, who invented the game of "darts" in the...
Wheelie Bin Cat purr-sues new career as guard dog trainer
Lola the ninja feline, from Coventry, was once again discovered in a rather strange location. This time it was in a Romford working men’s...
Angela Merkel looking forward to going Interrailing with Michael Gove
Angela Merkel is reported to be ecstatic about spending the summer Interrailing with Michael Gove. Gove will be Interrailing as part of the Governments...
Daily Mail readers hospitalised after inhaling EU migrant gas at Birling Gap
Over one hundred patriotic Daily Mail readers were hospitalised yesterday after inhaling toxic EU migrant gas while innocently sea siding at Birling Gap.
The weather...
Whole UK Economy resting on single PPI claim
After the referendum on leaving the EU the treasury scrambled quickly to try and formulate a plan.
"No one actually thought the plebs would defy...
Woman captures the spirit of Christmas by screening calls, binge eating and watching Netflix.
Denise Dufite of Middleton has captured the spirit of Christmas by ignoring the twelfth phone call of the day.
Instead of answering calls from...
The Big Fat Secret Santa – Satire Aid 2018
You may remember that last year we partnered with some other brilliant satirists to run a Secret Santa for underprivileged children.
Well it really, really...
Duke of Edinburgh embroiled in food poisoning compensation scam
The Duke of Edinburgh is reported to have become embroiled in a food poisoning compensation scam scandal today just hours after being discharged from...
Whitehall in panic as Chilcot Report left on N47 Deptford Bus
With only a little more than a month to go before the controversial Chilcot report is due to be released Whitehall has been thrown...
