Rolf Harris to paint The Queen again for TV comeback special

8
Former popular television presenter to repaint Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth following release from prison. Rolf Harris, 87, is rumoured to be looking at the possibility...

“It’s Warmas” declares Britain

0
Are you hanging loads of poppy's on the wall? Is your granny telling you stories about fighting in the Second World War despite only being...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson makes full recovery from racism after being diagnosed with Luton intolerance

0
Many people are unaware that their bodies won't tolerate Luton. But being Luton sensitive shouldn't stop you from living a healthy, happy life. Whilst...
Rees Mogg

Food bank staff find donation of Rees-Mogg voodoo dolls and pins ‘really rather uplifting’

29
Volunteers at the Rochdale City Centre Food Bank have described cheering up considerably after someone anonymously donated a large box of voodoo dolls in...
Wetherspoons

Wetherspoons to rebrand as “Special Circle of Hell”

0
Pub chain Wetherspoons is to re-brand as the Special Circle of Hell following an endorsement by EU President Donald Tusk. A spokesman for the company...
Queen

Queen shocked to discover she’s invested in Los Pollos Hermanos

0
The Queen is said to be shocked that her accountants have invested heavily in Los Pollos Hermanos. The food chain, seen in the TV...
Corbyn

Corbyn announces Semitic Security Divisions to combat antisemitism

0
Jeremy Corbyn has found himself in a new antisemitism row. The row started following Mr Corbyn's announcement of the formation of Labour Party SS...

First shipment of thoughts and prayers arrive for those made homeless by Grenfell Fire

The first shipment of thoughts and prayers has arrived in Kensington to be distributed amongst those left homeless by the fire that destroyed Grenfell Tower one week ago.
Magic Circle

Magic Circle Trigger Terror Alert

0
Amid growing concern and fears for public safety, illusionist extremists The Magic Circle have been deemed a threat to security and democracy. The so-called magicians...

Convertible car owner not as smug after leaving the top down last night

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Sandra Numpton of Heywood has spent the last few days driving around in her convertible Mini Cooper, sun glasses on, hair in the wind,...

You ain’t no white van man bruv, delivery driver tells Finsbury attacker

The white van man community has been under a great deal of pressure to apologise for one of them deliberately running over members of...
Mutineers

Daily Telegraph releases images of MPs it thinks should wear EU flag armbands

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The Daily Telegraph has today released photos of the M.P's it says should wear arm bands that signify their mutineer status. The paper says that...
Game of Thrones

Tolkein With Tits set to dominate office conversations as Game of Thrones returns

4
As the umpteenth series of the godawful fantasy franchise "Game of Thrones" is due to air on Murdoch-vision this week, those with more refined...

BBC expose puts police behind Barr’s

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A shock revelation on BBC Breakfast this morning revealed that British police forces are using fizzy drink to subdue suspects. The footage was taken from...
Viagra

Sale of over-counter Viagra faces stiff opposition

0
The Women's Institute are lobbying  the Health Secretary demanding that Viagra only be available through prescription and after consultation with a Doctor. Recent changes bought...
Heart Attack

What do you mean bride’s father pays? Asks Meghan Markle’s father before heart attack

0
It's been suggested that Meghan Markle's dad had a heart attack shortly after being told that the brides father should pay for his daughters...

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