Bank entrance

Remain scaremongering smells likes truthmongering admits Mark Carney following sniff test

14
Mark Carney, Governor of the Bank of England, the place where they invent money, has admitted that remain campaigners accused of scaremongering may actually...

Awkward moment for Prince Andrew at nativity as virgin told she will have a...

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There were awkward scenes for Prince Andrew today at a nativity in Sandringham when a virgin was told she will  have a baby. The Prince...
Homeless

Every doorway to get free homeless person, pledge Conservatives

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The Tory Party has pledged that every doorway in Britain will get a free homeless person by 2021. A spokesman told us, "The Tory Party...
Football

Theresa May smashes transfer fee record by buying 10 Northern Irish defenders for £1.5BN

6
Theresa May today totally smashed Paul Pogba's world transfer fee record into smithereens after purchasing 10 Northern Irish defenders for a yet to be...
Entrenching Tool

Digging f#*#*#g foxholes is new black in today’s British Army

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The humble British Army entrenching tool, a short, squat, folding standard NATO issued 3-way shovel, pick and close combat weapon, has surged in popularity amongst...
Surprised Santa

Santa to be denied entry to U.K. under proposed points system

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Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system. A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system...

Britons Now Incapable Of Making Any Decision Without A Referendum

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The majority of British people are now incapable of making a decision without first holding a referendum, according to a study published today. Researchers...

Arron Banks clarifies that he is being investigated by the National Crime Agency not...

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Arron Banks from Leave.EU has today clarified that he didn't finance the vote leave campaign that the Electoral Commission has found guilty of overspending...
Calendar

Government Announces National Nothing Day.

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From worthy issues such as International Women’s Day to cultural stereotypes like National Tea Day, it seems like every day is "something" Day. Just...
Queen and Duke

Queen undergoes Duke of Edinburgh replacement operation

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The Queen has undergone a successful operation to have the Duke of Edinburgh replaced. Doctors at King Charle's hospital in London said the operation had...

Dirty Danczuk disappoints again

Weary Rochdale let out yet another groan of despair after yet more revelations of the serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk's sex...

Satire writers doubting their future after ‘test’ post gets more likes than most ‘serious’...

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Satire writers at The Rochdale Herald have been left doubting their future after a 'test' post collected more likes today than most 'serious'...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson’s Hair and Trump’s Hair to have Puppies

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In a stunning announcement today it was revealed, that Boris Johnson's hair impregnated Donald Trump's hair a few months ago. Boris Johnson revealed this morning...

Anglo US relations at lowest ebb since war of 1812 as Queen joins anti-trump...

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Anglo US relations have reached their lowest ebb since 1812 when British Force burned down the White House after members of the Royal Family...

Rochdale gran still using same can opener she bought in 1967

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A Rochdale woman has been telling the Herald how she has had the same can opener for 51 years this year. Bernadette Gottelieb told us,...
Rainy Day

Siberia braces itself for unseasonal British drizzle

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Russian media is warning residents of Central Sibera that the usually frozen steppes will be be bit damper than Britain all week. Prisoners in Siberian...

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