Britain Not Full – claim small group of enochlophobia sufferers
Today, a small group of enochlophobia sufferers have spoken out to declare Britain is NOT full.
A spokesman for 'Enochlophobia Martyrs for the Prevention of...
Owen Smith thrilled with shiny new campaign bus
Owen Smith is said to be delighted with his shiny new campaign bus.
"It's brilliant!" he sang. "It shits all over Corbyn's campaign bike"
Smith drew...
Question Time cut short after woman dies of boredom
The BBC's Question Time recording was cut short on Thursday after an audience member passed out from boredom during the recording.
Filming of the BBC...
London’s last affordable plumber shot by poachers
London's last surviving affordable plumber has been killed by poachers in Clapham, according to a conservation group that protects a dwindling group of reliable...
Tapas actually Spanish for ‘not enough food’ confirms Spain
Spain has confessed to the international community today that the word Tapas actually translates as 'not enough food'.
The revelation comes after local office drone...
I suppose we better start our Christmas shopping, say men
Men all over the world are reluctantly conceding that now might be a good time to start their Christmas shopping.
"If I start shopping at...
UKIP Conspiracy theorists claim Paul Nuttall is being erased from history
UKIP leader, Paul Nuttall PhD, is concerned that he is being erased from history by a shadowy group of leftist and liberal media conspirators.
He recently had to...
Boris Upsets Sturgeon Over Calls for New Indyref
Boris Johnson today ran into further hot water, or perhaps hot oil, over comments responding to Nicola Sturgeon's view that only an Independent Scotland...
Daily Express unveils new corporate logo
The Daily Express as revealed a new corporate logo today that it says is more in keeping with how it and its readers view...
Rochdale Herald exclusive – Prince Andrew tells us about Princess Beatrice’s wedding
In a Rochdale Herald exclusive Prince Andrew tells us how the secret wedding of his daughter Beatrice went last week.
7am - Woken up by...
Peter Andre to press Brexit Button
As part of her Key Note speech to the Conservative Party Conference today Theresa May is set to announce this explosive coup for the...
Scientists confirm tea tastes better when somebody else makes it
Researchers from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that tea tastes loads better when somebody else has made it.
Maurice Tips,...
Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods
The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district.
Army...
Software update happens at convenient time
A laptop in an office in Rochdale has undergone a comprehensive software update without completely screwing up his owner’s day.
The laptop, which is an...
Princess Diana’s ghost tells Express readers Brexit deal is a total car crash
Princess Diana's ghost has told Daily Express readers that Theresa May's Brexit deal is a complete car crash.
Speaking to the Express Diana's ghost said,...
Man spotted not wearing his ‘Big Coat’ in Rochdale, in June
In scenes that shocked many shoppers in Rochdale town centre today, two men who were visiting from far away Bolton, were seen walking through...
