Thousands Face Having to go to Work as RMT Calls for Driver Walk-In

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Hundreds of thousands of rail passengers face actually going to work as the RMT told Southern Rail employees to actually do their jobs. Staff will...
Viagra

WTO confirms nations can trade with U.K. on a ‘pity fuck’ basis.

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The WTO has confirmed that in the case of a no deal Brexit, member nations will be free to trade with the U.K. as...

‘One is married to Philip’ Queen reminds Public who think Trump too racist for...

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Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.  The petition insists...
Theresa May

Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...

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Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit. With many people warning that...

Kensington and Chelsea Council crowned Royal Rassclart of the Year

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In a much needed triumph for the under pressure Conservative party, its leadership of the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea has received recognition...

Sick Home Sec sacked?

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Home Sec Diane Abbott has been off sick since cancelling her appearance on Woman's Hour yesterday but has she been sacked? Jeremy Corbyn was giving...

I wouldn’t rape a fat woman, I have standards – says Trump

Thousands of Republican voters suffered serious head injuries yesterday after face palming themselves really hard during a Trump Rally.

Rochdale man sues Ancestory.com after DNA test shows he’s 60% banana

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A Rochdale resident has announced he's suing Ancestory.com after a DNA test showed he shares 60% of his DNA with a banana.  He's citing inaccuracies in the...
Bearded "hipster"

Hipster twats demand clean shaven white twats condemn terror twats

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Nathan Barley led calls today for clean shaven white twats to “take responsibility for their community.” “It is imperative, at this time of national crisis,...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson makes full recovery from racism after being diagnosed with Luton intolerance

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Many people are unaware that their bodies won't tolerate Luton. But being Luton sensitive shouldn't stop you from living a healthy, happy life. Whilst...
Unhappy Hippy Kid

Children of hippy parents gear up for annual disappointment of ethical advent calendars

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The children of hippies have been telling the Herald about how they've been preparing for receiving disappointing advent calendars. 8 year old Freedom Snowphish said,...

Tory Party pledges to attack pot holes now it has defeated the disabled

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The Tory Party has declared victory in its war against the disabled and announced it will re-deploy its resources in a war on pot...
Pope

Racists oddly quiet about global paedophile gang operating in Rochdale

Racists around the UK have been oddly quiet about the international paedophile network that has been operating in Rochdale, and everywhere else that matter, for centuries. "We usually...
Big Coat

Man spotted not wearing his ‘Big Coat’ in Rochdale, in June

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In scenes that shocked many shoppers in Rochdale town centre today, two men who were visiting from far away Bolton, were seen walking through...

Extra hour…or do we lose one? Anyway clock change thingy happens

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The half of the nation whose oven clocks are correct swapped places with the half whose oven clocks are an hour or twelve out...

Geordie accused of ‘cultural appropriation’ after wearing jacket during night out

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A Geordie is being criticised by social media users for posting an Instagram photo of her wearing a jacket during a night out on...

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