Theresa May (licence)

Scientists discover creature smaller than Theresa May’s credibility.

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Biologists wielding enormous magnifying glasses today discovered a newt thought to be the world's smallest living thing. This infinitesimal being has been proved by scientists...

Navy admiral rejects job because he can spot a sinking ship when he sees...

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The controversy over the U.S. National Security Advisor position continues as Trump’s most recent nominee for the position, retired vice admiral Robert S Harward, rejected the...

Annual day of disappointment for fathers receiving crap presents

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It's Father's Day and an annual day of depression for men across the nation as fathers are expected to sit, smile and feign appreciation...

Chaos at Speakers’ Corner after steaming pile of dog excrement is mistaken for Tommy...

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There were scenes of chaos at Speakers' Corner earlier today after a steaming pile of dog shit was apparently mistaken for EDL-founder Tommy Robinson.  It is understood that the moldering heap of crap, which...

Rochdale PR firms enters FTSE 250 after winning Simon Danczuk crisis management contract

There was jubilation in Rochdale this afternoon as Clifford Savile Associates PLC announced their entry into the FTSE 250 for the first time. The news...
Alcoholics Anonymous logo

Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous getting mixed up on a massive scale

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People have been mixing up the Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous on a massive scale, it has emerged. Things came to a head recently when...

That God person is a pervert say parents of transgender kids

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A primary school has become the center of a row when it taught religion to transgender pupils. St Andgreavsey's primary school faced a...
The Queen

Queen announces Prince Harry will become King of the USA following wedding to Meghan...

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The Queen has announced that she exercise her right to crown Prince Harry and Meghan Markle King and Queen of the USA. During the announcement...
Elmer Fudd

Elmer Fudd resigns as Home Secretary

The Home Secretary Elmer Fudd has resigned, Downing Street has said. Mr Fudd, was due to make a Commons Statement on Monday about the Windrush...
Alive

Burnley Rugby team turn to cannibalism after being stranded on M62 in snow

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Motorists are being advised to avoid the M62 after reports of a dozen hungry rugby players from Burnley eating the corpses of stranded motorists...

Put a bloody jumper on if you’re cold we’re not made of money, Philip...

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“Put a jumper on and stop fiddling with the blasted thermostat, I just got it right. If you’re that blinking cold go and walk some of those wretched dogs you insist on keeping. And I’m not talking about the Fergie's sprogs!”

Convertible car owner not as smug after leaving the top down last night

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Sandra Numpton of Heywood has spent the last few days driving around in her convertible Mini Cooper, sun glasses on, hair in the wind,...

UKIP elect Diane James leader

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UKIP have elected Diane James as their new leader. Apologies for our previous article that featured Mick Jagger from The Rollong Stones. Our intern Douglas has...

Relief for constipated Dog after long search for the perfect spot leads to Downing...

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There was massive relief for the owner of a constipated dog today, as their long search for the perfect dumping spot finally ended in...

Scientists confirm tea tastes better when somebody else makes it

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Researchers from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that tea tastes loads better when somebody else has made it. Maurice Tips,...
Corbyn

Fresh controversy as Corbyn pictured wearing a Beret and eating Scallops

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Jeremy Corbyn has caused fresh controversy by appearing on BBC Breakfast wearing a Beret and eating Normandy Scallops. Mr Corbyn was appearing to deny...

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