Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces sanctions on Isle of Aran

0
Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool Tower in...
Lenny Henry

Premier Inn to change all the locks tonight

0
Every Premier Inn in the country is changing their locks tonight, whilst Lenny Henry hosts Red Nose Day on the BBC. Mr. Henry was the...

The Shard ‘nearly finished’

0
The Shard in London is nearing completion, according to developers. Once finished, it will stand at 310m and will be the tallest building in the...
David Cameron

Cameron cronies cry nonsense at cries of Conservative cronyism 

Friends of David Cameron have sprung to his defence today after accusations that his Exit Honours list is an example of cronyism. "Clearly this is...

Virgin customers asked to dig deep for pensioner’s destroyed home

0
Devastated pensioner Richard Branson, whose home was destroyed by Hurricane Irma, has been overwhelmed by Virgin product customers who have agreed to continue to...
Children Christmas Presents

Thank you for supporting Satire Aid – 26,000 presents worth £175,000

0
The numbers are now in for Satire Aid's Big Fat Secret Santa appeal. Together the readers of The Rochdale Herald, NewsThump, Angry People in...

We survived Bubonic plague so we’ll probably survive Brexit, Government assures Britain

0
The Government has released advice on what to do in the event of a 'no-deal' Brexit. The advice has the catchy strap line, "No-deal,...

Put a bloody jumper on if you’re cold we’re not made of money, Philip...

16
“Put a jumper on and stop fiddling with the blasted thermostat, I just got it right. If you’re that blinking cold go and walk some of those wretched dogs you insist on keeping. And I’m not talking about the Fergie's sprogs!”

Rochdale gran still using same can opener she bought in 1967

0
A Rochdale woman has been telling the Herald how she has had the same can opener for 51 years this year. Bernadette Gottelieb told us,...

First shipment of British thoughts and prayers arrives in Barbuda

8
A cargo plane has touched down in Barbuda, carrying the first consignment of thoughts and prayers from the people of Britain. The jet touched down...
Heroine

Get on smack if you love the Union Jack – patriots demand you inject...

0
Britain's most patriotic patriots have led calls for everyone in the country to be forced to inject themselves with poppies. The push for proper...

Shake ‘n’ Vac composer to have ashes scattered on carpet and hoovered up by...

0
Following reports that the composer of the 1980's Shake 'n' Vac advertising jingle has died, a source close to his family has confirmed that...
Dinner Party

Cryptocurrencies overtake buy to let portfolios as reason not to have “that twat” over...

0
Our survey of Rochdale couples reveals cryptocurrencies are now the top reason for removal from dinner party guest lists. In our extensive survey, which we...
Earl Grey

Earl Grey tea is actually horrible, admit people who drink it

0
A woman from Rochdale has admitted that she doesn't really like Earl Grey tea because it tastes horrible. Winifred Barbarella from Milnrow (35 and three...
Scientists

Obvious Satire Still Confusing Idiots, Say Scientists 

Researchers at the esteemed Rochdale Community University have published a study today revealing that fool-proof satire is still not fool-proof.  "We gave some angry morons...
Banksy

No new ‘Banksys’ have appeared since Rolf Harris got banged up

0
Tie me kangaroo down Banksy, can you tell who it is yet? Well perhaps here at The Rochdale Herald we are nearer to being...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts