Smiling woman

Woman who said she’s fine really is fine

In a world first a woman from Rochdale who told her husband that she was “fine” has turned out to really be “fine”. Genuinely...

New BananaPhone for men undersized, unreliable, and turns itself off when you want to...

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The new BananaPhone has been launched exclusively at the male market. It has a retractable cover which simply pulls down for ease of use,...

Young people urged to move to areas with cheaper housing and spend savings on...

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The Government is to tell young people that they should move away from urban centers in order to pay less rent. With rents increasing in...
Britain First

Britain First strangely quiet over Jo Cox murder

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This week saw the conviction and sentencing of Thomas Mair in the case of the tragic murder of MP Jo Cox.  During the murder, the...
Foreign Languages

British man who can speak French to be burned as a witch

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According to reports the British man who has learnt to speak a foreign language fluently is to be burnt at the stake on Tuesday. Lord...
Farage in Russian hat

Nigel Farage denies any links to Russia

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Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has appeared on BBC Breakfast TV to deny any links to the Russian Government. In an interview Mr Farage MP...

Prince Andrew says, I was at Pizza Express checking out Beatrice’s fit friend

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Prince Andrew has today sought to clarify comments he made about attending Pizza Express in Woking 19 years ago. A spokesman for Prince Andrew said,...

Next Call of Duty to be set on Oxford Street during Black Friday sales

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The team behind the bewilderingly popular series of computer games Call of Duty has revealed that the next instalment of the franchise will be...

Nation tries to remember why it told kids to knock on strangers’ doors for...

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Did we just adjust the clocks so that it is dark by the time kids come home from school, and then teach them to...

Prince Andrew self isolating in Windsor with Olivia-16

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Following the news that Prince Charles has contracted Covid-19, The Rochdale Herald has learned that Prince Andrew is self isolating at his home in...

Skeletor still ‘pretty buff’ for a skeleton

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Men's Health Magazine today announced its annual Top Ten Fittest Male Celebs list with actor, recently elected DUP MP and self proclaimed evil overlord Skeletor...

Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods

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The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district. Army...

David Blunkett confirms he’s still blind following driving test

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The Rochdale Herald can exclusively confirm that David Blunkett is still blind. Mr Blunkett confirmed the findings of his most recent eye sight test...

Northerners scared by red sun consult wise woman and prepare sacrifices

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Looking outside this morning millions of British citizens were confronted by an unusually shade of overcast and the sun glowing a curious red. Researchers from...

To be fair I was pissed, says Nigel 2.0 candidate

Steven Woolfe, the chief xenophobe-in-waiting of totally unracist UKIP party has been caught out forgetting things. Again. After forgetting to apply for the candidacy he's standing...
Ant and Dec

Ant and Dec to host Coronavirus Daily Update

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Following the news that The Daily Coronavirus Update is losing viewers faster than America is running out of MolotovCocktails, BBC producers have paid an undisclosed...

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