Sports Direct working practices review. 

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In the face of a shareholder revolt, retail giant Sports Direct is to drag its working practices kicking and screaming into the 1920's.  Following a...

Secret owners of 1 million tax dodging companies registered in British Virgin Islands furious...

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The secret owners of an estimated one million companies registered in the British Virgin Islands Sunday registered their displeasure at the UK government's slow...
Surprised Santa

Santa to be denied entry to U.K. under proposed points system

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Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system. A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system...
Grimsby

Earthquake rescue workers assured Grimsby is fine, it’s supposed to look like that

Earthquake rescue teams from around the globe were told to stand down today after they descended en masse on Grimsby in Lincolnshire following reports...

Mime artist finds way out of glass box

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Mime artists across the world are silently applauding the first ever recorded occurrence of a mime artist breaking out of a glass box. There was...

Iain Duncan Smith ‘devastated’ he may have to wait six weeks for knighthood

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Iain Duncan Smith, MP for Chingford and Woodford Green, says strict investiture rules mean he could be forced to wait as long as six...

London celebrates first “Gammon Pride” event

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Scotland Yard and the Met Police are bracing for potential violent clashes at a "Gammon Pride" event being held in London today. The event will...
Tony Blair

We must reverse historic mistake, says irreversible historic mistake

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Everyone in the world looked at each other and asked "what the hell" yesterday after the temerity of a former political leader's comments on...

Christmas ruined as Santa fails CRB check

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Christmas may be cancelled as Santa has failed to get his CRB check renewed. The revelation came last night when a Government Spokesperson said, "Santa...
Boris Felipe Spoon

Boris Johnson hits King of Spain on forehead with spoon after mistaking him for...

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Britain and Spain are embroiled in a ferocious diplomatic incident after Boris Johnson hit King Felipe VI of Spain on the forehead with a...

New London Development Announced

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With todays news that the Calais Jungle has been cleared of filthy asylum seekers, the ramshackle dwellings have immediately been occupied by an even...
Man thinking

Dad thinking about thinking about starting his Christmas shopping

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A Rochdale Dad has broken protocol by announcing that he has begun thinking about thinking about starting his Christmas shopping with more than a...

Blairite Entryism Not A Big Deal, Insist Blairites

It was revealed today that a Blairite peer, a hedge fund manager, several rich business types and a Liberal Democrat Lord were behind the...

Theresa May Fumbles For Pin For Grenade She Shoved Up Her Ass

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Theresa May is reported to be surrounded by a Bomb Disposal Unit this evening after the discovery of an unexploded grenade inside her ass. The...
White Van

White van man smashes World Land Speed Record

A plumber’s apprentice from Birtle has utterly smashed the world land speed record on the M66 in a white Peugeot van. The news that Jamie...

Whitehall in panic as Chilcot Report left on N47 Deptford Bus

With only a little more than a month to go before the controversial Chilcot report is due to be released Whitehall has been thrown...

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