Shake ‘n’ Vac composer to have ashes scattered on carpet and hoovered up by...
Following reports that the composer of the 1980's Shake 'n' Vac advertising jingle has died, a source close to his family has confirmed that...
Tony the Tiger loses paw to Type 2 diabetes
Tony the Tiger, the face of the Frosties breakfast cereal brand since 1952, has according to sources, lost a paw to Type 2 diabetes.
Mr...
Local journalist creates entire article from on line forum comments.
A journalist at a Sheffield local newspaper has admitted that an entire article published in Friday's edition of the Sheffield Councilpleaser was constructed entirely...
Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people
Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people.
One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...
Family dog requests compassionate leave to mourn arrival of baby
Charlotte, a seven year old English Bulldog, is heart broken after a new baby was born this morning in her family.
She admits to being...
Brexit Cancelled as Civil Servants Finally Read “Article 50”
All nations attending Treaty discussions are only allocated one car parking space.
UK plans for "Brexit" have hit the buffers after Westminster Civil Servants finally...
Jesus ‘probably had eczema’
Jesus of Nazareth may have had eczema, dermatologists have found.
New evidence that The Lord suffered from the common skin complaint emerged following fresh analysis...
Dad thinking about thinking about starting his Christmas shopping
A Rochdale Dad has broken protocol by announcing that he has begun thinking about thinking about starting his Christmas shopping with more than a...
Northerners scared by red moon consult wise woman and prepare sacrifices
Looking outside last night millions of British citizens were confronted by the moon appearing enlarged and glowing a curious red.
Whilst most people south of...
Gove calls for post-Brexit legalisation of cannibalism
Former Tory minister and leading Brexit campaigner Michael Gove has called on the government to slash EU regulations on cannibalism which he claims have...
Government Announces National Nothing Day.
From worthy issues such as International Women’s Day to cultural stereotypes like National Tea Day, it seems like every day is "something" Day.
Just...
Liam Fox Claims UK First in Queue for Scottish Trade Deal
Liam Fox has sparked rumours that the Scottish Independence Referendum planned for 2018 was a foregone conclusion this afternoon.
The furore began when Mr. Fox...
New phrase ‘Wankers Dozen’ defined as ‘Britain First meeting’
The Rochdale to English Dictionary today confirmed it would be adding the colloquial phrase 'wankers dozen' to their 2019 edition. The R.E.D.'s official definition...
Eric Bristow MBE says beaten women aren’t ‘proper men’
The pie faced gravy rhyming bastard, who obtained Royal recognition for being good at throwing things made the comment after a series of ill...
Survey finds UK’s pub chat and sense of humour at risk of extinction
Social scientists have revealed a study that shows a correlation between the decline in the British sense of humour and decline in pub chat.
Dr...
I did get the memo, but I don’t know what’s in it because I...
Home Secretary Amber Rudd has admitted that she did actually get the memo about specific migrant removal targets, but was unable to read it...
