Man thinks totalitarian measures the best way to honour war dead
A Bridlington man has outlined extreme measures by which people not wearing poppies on Remembrance Sunday should be punished.
This includes being subjected to death...
Bra fitters feel a right pair of tits after revealing the size of the...
Bra fitters Rigby & Peller have lost their Royal warrant after Buckingham Palace cancelled its contract with the company after they revealed intimate details...
Teenager buys girlfriend a cucumber for Christmas
A teenager has told us how he believes he's bought his girlfriend the perfect Christmas gift.
16 year old Nathan Brindley has been seeing Emma...
We’ll make a success of Brexit, says country where businesses can’t sell things for...
Britain has said that it's perfectly equipped to make a success of Brexit even though shops that sell things for a pound are closing.
Business...
Christmas ruined after husband caught shagging secretary on Christmas Eve
Christmas is officially ruined after the managing director of a local advertising agency was caught by his wife bonking his secretary on Christmas Eve.
Father...
Home Office apologises for deporting ‘the wrong sort of brown people’
In an official statement released within the last few minutes, the Home office has apologised 'unreservedly' for deporting 'the wrong sort of brown people'.
The...
Confused Alt-Right activists boycott PC World
Several branches of the computer retailer PC World have reported a spike in confused right-wing "activists" gathering outside their premises in protest.
The cause of...
Ed Millibland’s Tombstone to be Used for Thousands of Homes
The polls that are currently condemning Jeremy Corbyn to fail once predicted success for the socially inept, humanoid shaped play doh figure, Ed Millibland.
It's...
Husband Goes Shopping Buys Everything on List
A woman from Cleckheaton told The Rochdale Herald today how her husband went shopping, with a list, and returned an hour and a half...
Druids “fecking knackered” after moving Stonehenge an hour forward
With the season now officially spring, clocks up and down the nations have been moved forward one hour to adjust to British Summer Time;...
For Fuck’s Sake, sighs Britain
The entire United Kingdom muttered "for fuck's sake" in unision yesterday afternoon after learning that Boris Johnson has been "elected: new Conservative leader and...
Leave Means Leave to broaden appeal by offering Saga vouchers to young members
Leave Means Leave, the new campaign group for bringing destitution and poverty onto the general UK populace have announced radical new plans to entice...
Obesity Sugar Tax Only Screwing The Poor By Accident
The government is set to announce its new scheme to combat childhood obesity on Thursday, a scheme that is mostly a tax on high...
People who tell it like it is always bloody cretins, reveal experts
Ground-breaking cooperative research between experts in Linguistics, Social Sciences, and Psychology sheds light on evidence that those who "tell it like it is" are...
White van man smashes World Land Speed Record
A plumber’s apprentice from Birtle has utterly smashed the world land speed record on the M66 in a white Peugeot van.
The news that Jamie...
Nuttall pulls out of Stoke by-election
NHS hating, pathological liar and leader of UKIP, Paul Nuttall, has today pulled out of the Stoke by-election after it was revealed that his remaining...
