WTO confirms nations can trade with U.K. on a ‘pity fuck’ basis.
The WTO has confirmed that in the case of a no deal Brexit, member nations will be free to trade with the U.K. as...
Theresa May to meet Carwyn Jones to tell him to fuck off in person
Theresa May is set to meet Carwyn Jones, the First Minister of Wales to reassure him that the needs, plans, hopes and dreams of...
You can’t derail me, cackles lunatic on roof of burning runaway freight train
A woman sitting on the roof of a runaway train full of burning horseshit has said she is "proving the doubters wrong" after not...
‘Shit dont stick to this, fam’ says Boris Johnson
Non-stick coating manufacturer Teflon has today announced a lucrative tie in with Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.
The company is believed to have lined up an...
Shoppers rejoice as bendy bananas sneak back into supermarkets after Commons vote
UK shoppers were in ecstasy as bendy bananas made a comeback into British supermarkets following Parliament’s decision to allow Prime Minister Theresa May to...
We demand the tooth!
Tory MP David Davies has demanded that the most recent group of refugee children, newly arrived in Britain, be taken straight to the dentist.
After...
Completely expected and predictable weather causes travel disruption and chaos again
Britain prepares itself once again for total travel chaos and public service disruption, because of the completely predicable weather that is expected at this...
Arsehole doesn’t know he’s an arsehole
An absolute arsehole is blissfully unaware that everybody thinks he's an arsehole.
Dave Bloke, 42 and a bit from Rochdale, somehow still thinks people like...
Daily Mail photo editor awarded the Iron Cross
The chief photo editor for The Daily Mail has been awarded the Iron Cross this afternoon.
A spokesman for The Daily Mail said, "This award...
Leave Means Leave to broaden appeal by offering Saga vouchers to young members
Leave Means Leave, the new campaign group for bringing destitution and poverty onto the general UK populace have announced radical new plans to entice...
Blitz Spirit redefined to mean allowing a foreign Government to choose your ambassador
The Oxford English Dictionary has announced that it is redefining the meaning of Blitz Spirit. The move comes a day after the British Government...
Bad dishwasher etiquette is evidence of evolution running backwards
Anthropologists working at the University of Bath today released a study which they claim demonstrates that the human race appears to be separating into...
Brexit decided by a swift round of ‘Bullseye’
It was revealed today that the Brexit deal was decided by the British government and the EC leaders taking part in an episode of...
Clock in the car delighted to be right for next six months
The clock in the car is said to be absolutely over the moon that the clocks have gone forward or back again.
Anger as Southerners Omit Cockwomble from the OFCOM Swearing Top 10
There was anger on the streets of Rochdale last night as "Cockwomble" was controversially left out of Ofcom's Top 10 of swear words.
Ofcom, an...
Chilcot recommends that Blair sit on ‘naughty step’ for Iraq war mistakes…
Sir John Chilcot has come out with excoriating criticisms of former Prime Minister Tony Blair's attempt to mislead the public and MPs over the...
