Larry the Downing Street Cat responds to allegations of sexual misconduct: These stories are...
Disgraced veteran mouser Larry the Downing Street Cat on Friday admitted to allegations of sexual misconduct that were levelled against him earlier in the...
Elmer Fudd resigns as Home Secretary
The Home Secretary Elmer Fudd has resigned, Downing Street has said.
Mr Fudd, was due to make a Commons Statement on Monday about the Windrush...
More Guardian Subscriptions Cancelled Over Fresh Crossword Slur
Following yesterday's scandal that saw literally units of enraged Scotts cancelling their subscriptions, The Guardian's simple crossword this morning poured fresh fuel onto the...
Please stop comparing me to Hitler pleads bloke who just gave speech to German...
A bloke who gave a rabble rousing speech to a bunch of Nazis in Germany has put out a plea on social media asking...
Wise Men slam ‘unreasonable expectations’ as ‘Virgin’ Mary’s first sausage is a foot-long manger...
Some wise men have today hit back at a high street bakers claiming that their 'Foot-Long Sausage Roll' creates unrealistic expectations about baked goods....
Corbyn “gives” Labour MP’s free vote on Trident
Besieged Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn has generously given the MP's in the Labour Party the opportunity to vote with their conscience rather than...
Whitehall in panic as Chilcot Report left on N47 Deptford Bus
With only a little more than a month to go before the controversial Chilcot report is due to be released Whitehall has been thrown...
Council has enough grit
A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the...
May To Wheel Out Trebuchet
Theresa May will relaunch her election campaign today with a classic bit of fighting kit. A trebuchet nicknamed 'Warwolf".
The trebuchet, effectively a giant catapult,...
Recruitment Consultant talking loudly on phone on train sounds like a bell end, agree...
Passengers from both sides of the Pennines travelling on a train between Manchester and Leeds are united in agreement that a young, overly keen...
Monster fatberg found in Boris Johnson’s head
A monster fatberg the size of two double decker buses has been found inside the head of rotund foreign secretary Boris Johnson, Trev Panning,...
Iain Duncan Smith ‘devastated’ he may have to wait six weeks for knighthood
Iain Duncan Smith, MP for Chingford and Woodford Green, says strict investiture rules mean he could be forced to wait as long as six...
David Davis-Brexit Speech in full
In a monumentous speech to the House of Commons yesterday, the Brexit Minister David Davis set out the government's plans for taking Britain out...
Unemployed layabout doesn’t want £350m a year job shaking hands and waving
The people of the United Kingdom were reassured this morning by Prince Harry's statement that he does not want to be king and will...
Prince Harry ruled unfit for work by ATOS
Prince Harry has been ruled unfit for work by ATOS after attending a work capability assessment.
"The Prince was sanctioned last month after he missed...
Middle aged man now communicating entirely by sighing
Authorities in Lancashire are trying to solve the riddle of a man in Rochdale who is now communicating with the outside world only by...



















































