Gritter

Morons wondering why blizzard wasn’t averted by thin layer of salt

0
Millions of morons across the UK were left perplexed when a thin layer of salt didn't prevent their cars getting stuck in 3 feet...
Dartboard

UKIP contains more pricks than Eric Bristow’s dartboard

0
The political establishment was rocked today when new research conclusively proved that the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) contains more pricks than world famous darts...

Nicholas Witchell tasered during naked Prince Philip coup attempt

0
The BBC’s Royal correspondent, Nicholas Witchell, is currently under heavy sedation after attempting to storm the gates of Buckingham Palace. According to eyewitnesses, the journalist...

EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain

0
The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...

May criticised for scheduling Queen’s speech on Day of Rage

1
After weeks of uncertainty tinged with tragedy, the hard right fanatical Tories have been hammering out a deal with the DUP, which will finally...
Fat Kid

Anger as Rochdale drops out of top 5 towns for childhood obesity

0
Rochdale residents have reacted with anger after it was revealed that Rochdale has dropped from 4th to 9th in the UK's childhood obesity ranking. 12...
Christmas Presents

Now for something different, our Big Fat Secret Santa

0
Along with the very fine and folk at NewsThump and The Southend News Network we have put together what we think could be one...
Spaniel

Family dog dutifully tells sleeping baby that there’s somebody at the door

0
A dutiful family dog has very helpfully informed a sleeping baby that there is somebody at the door. The seven year old Cocker Spaniel made...
Theresa May

Theresa May to meet Carwyn Jones to tell him to fuck off in person

Theresa May is set to meet Carwyn Jones, the First Minister of Wales to reassure him that the needs, plans, hopes and dreams of...

‘Fuck equality’ says equalities boss

0
The chairman of the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) David Isaac made the comment earlier this week; "Everyone is equal and all religions should be...

Scientists confirm tea tastes better when somebody else makes it

0
Researchers from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that tea tastes loads better when somebody else has made it. Maurice Tips,...

Daily Mail Editor suspected stroke after Muslim Immigrant awarded Knighthood in New Year’s Honours

2
The Editor of the Daily Mail is in a critical condition today after learning that a Muslim has been knighted by the Queen in the New Year's Honours list.
ice cream

Super hunter chilli Yorkie ice cream man-bar ultra plus released for aggressive thrusting straight...

0
In a bid to expand on the non-gay male ice cream market, a new extreme sports cryogenic experience for man men is being launched. It...

I wouldn’t rape a fat woman, I have standards – says Trump

Thousands of Republican voters suffered serious head injuries yesterday after face palming themselves really hard during a Trump Rally.
Scientists

Scientists confirm that builder’s tea is just tea

0
A team of scientists from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that builder's tea is, in fact, just tea. Clarence Tetley,...

Man believes in equality because he has daughters

0
A man has confirmed today that he is “totally woke” on the issues facing women today, because he has made not just one, but...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts