Prince Harry gets job as Prince Harry look-alike
Prince Harry has a new job as a Prince Harry look-alike in Canada.
His new boss told us, "There's a lot of attention on Prince...
Stonehenge to be knocked down to make way for new Super-Mosque
Details leaked from an article due to be published in the Daily Mail show plans to bulldoze the famous neolithic landmark to make way...
Nation Ecstatic As Dapper Laughs Finally Disappears Up Own Arse
Finally some good news! The nation was overcome with emotion today as positive confirmation came through that sexual assault based 'comedian' and professional pick...
Rolf Harris to paint The Queen again for TV comeback special
Former popular television presenter to repaint Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth following release from prison.
Rolf Harris, 87, is rumoured to be looking at the possibility...
That’ll Show Them…
Racists reacted with predictable denial today when faced with the reality that the punishments they frequently recommend for those seeking asylum, immigrants and generally...
Great start for Meghan Markle as she manages to walk around slowly and wave
The future of the British monarchy, American Meghan Markle, has successfully negotiated her first official public engagement as she absolutely nailed walking slowly and...
Daily Express unveils new corporate logo
The Daily Express as revealed a new corporate logo today that it says is more in keeping with how it and its readers view...
Weather still not good enough to lure sulky teenager out of his bedroom
Despite the change in the weather, cloudless skies and temperatures in the high 20s, it is still not enough to persuade moody teenager, Damian...
UK appoints man that burnt 5G mast down to plan lockdown lifting
The UK Government has announced that it has appointed a new 'Lockdown Czar' to lead plans to lift the lockdown. Bill Board from Rochdale...
Corbyn announces Semitic Security Divisions to combat antisemitism
Jeremy Corbyn has found himself in a new antisemitism row. The row started following Mr Corbyn's announcement of the formation of Labour Party SS...
Treasury announces British economy based on booze and barbeques
The Government has announced that the UK's economy is now based solely on beer and barbeques.
In a statement the Treasury said, "The sunny...
Little Chef Change All Breakfasts To ‘Pork-Free’ After Complaints by ‘Foreigners’.
British roadside dining legends Little Chef have decided to make all their breakfasts, including their famous ‘All Day Breakfast’, entirely pork-free following a campaign...
Leadsom bookies favourite in cabinet deadpool
Professional sexist and political hot potato Andrea Leadsom was under fire yesterday following revelations that her comments about motherhood in The Times during her...
Edinburgh caught in grip of Calamine lotion shortage as midge season starts
Insect repellent sold out today as the temperature north of the border rose above zero, Spring sprang and Edinburgh played host to the annual...
Bus drivers distraught they can’t lose shit when given a fiver due to increased...
Bus drivers distraught they can't lose their shit when given a fiver, due to increased ticket prices.
Up and down the country local bus drivers...
Earthquake rescue workers reassured that Wales is fine, it’s supposed to look like that
Earthquake rescue teams from around the globe were told to stand down today after they descended en masse on Neath in South Wales following...
