Black people in England 8.2 times more likely to accidentally run into police truncheons...
Priti Patel today confirmed that the Black Lives Matter movement is a protest about American racism that has nothing to do with England. The...
Country that burns effigies of a Catholic annually upset by statue damage
A country that in the year of our Lord 2020 still thinks burning Catholics is a family friendly November evening out, is upset by...
Mother persuades her children to eat veg
A hard working mother in West London is so desperate to get her children to eat vegetables she has put out a call for...
Cute dog is a savage little shit
A survey of very cute little dogs has discovered that almost 99.9% of them are in fact savage little bastards.
The survey which was carried...
Climate Change still insisting Donald Trump is a Chinese Conspiracy
Climate Change has today confirmed that it will continue on its promise to make the Weather Great Again despite the insistence from some it...
Queen deciding which Corgi to shoot first if Corbyn becomes Prime Minister
Buckingham Palace sources have reported that the Queen is currently trying to decide which of her Corgis to shoot first should Jeremy Corbyn be...
Your Mum has a dildo
Children all over the country are coming to terms with the horrifying reality that their Mums have at least one dildo.
Homeworkers warned to wear suncream as UK heatwave intensifies
With expectations that this month's sweltering weather could become the norm a health strategy is urgently required to protect the thousands of people who...
Follow Burnley’s example and shower less often, water companies urge Britain
The recent heatwave shows no sign of abating with another four weeks of sunshine forecast by the Met Office.
A hosepipe ban has been enacted...
May to offer Britain complete break from Boris Johnson
In a last ditch attempt to win the X Factor vote tonight,the PM today took the unusual but popular step to separate Boris Johnson...
May Presented With Mirror After Body Shaming Corbyn
Know Thyself, a charity dedicated to helping older people come to terms with physical changes, is to present Theresa May with a full length...
Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment
A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.
Bill Board told us, "It was last...
Cannabis legalisation could mean users run out of things to talk about within 24...
Experts are tonight warning that Britain's stoner community could run out of things to talk about in as little as 24 hours. The warnings...
Child confused as to why he can’t just accept his school mates for who...
In a candid interview for the Rochdale Herald, an unnamed child of parents who sincerely believe that their child can somehow be damaged by...
Prince Philip deemed fit to work after ATOS work capability assessment
Prince Philip has today gone under the knife for surgery on his dodgy hip.
However 30 minutes later he was deemed fit to work in an...
Prince Harry ruled unfit for work by ATOS
Prince Harry has been ruled unfit for work by ATOS after attending a work capability assessment.
"The Prince was sanctioned last month after he missed...
