Piers Morgan

If you loved the Blitz you’ll love Brexit, says Piers Morgan

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Piers Morgan has told ITV viewers that if they loved the Blitz they're going to love Brexit. Morgan made the comments in on Good Morning...
Sturgeon

‘It’s the Welsh we hate not the English’ claims SNP

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The Scottish National Party has released an official statement denying that their desire for Scottish independence is motivated by a historic mistrust of the...
Oldham

Move to rename Oldham as Oldtofu welcomed by militant vegans

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The town of Oldham, Greater Mancashire, has been praised by vegan activists, hipsters and liberal snowflakes alike for taking the progressive move of removing...

Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW

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A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that...
Cyclist

Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children’s toys denies mid-life crisis

A Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children's toys denies mid-life crisis. A forty two year old man from Rochdale who shaves his...

Queen’s Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu

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There are rumours today that the Queen's Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu. A furious Palace insider told us, "It's completely ridiculous. I've...

BBC Breakfast mix up Sturgeon with Gorilla

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BBC Breakfast has apologised after images of the gorilla Kumbuka, whose recent non-escape filled a slow news day, were shown on screen instead of...
Theresa May

Theresa May negotiates paying full price for a DFS sofa

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Theresa May has succeeded in negotiating paying full price on a sofa from DFS. Mrs May was returning from Salzburg following the most disappointing trip...

It’s a Global Thing, insists Brexit economist

Rochdale financial expert and three times bankrupt Brexit economist Ivana Sendham-Bach claimed today that the announcement that the UK was about to enter a...
Drunk man

Thomas the Trident Engine runaway incident: Fat controller was drunk

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Rumours are circulating of a culture of abuse at the MOD, which spilled over in a final steaming argument between the fat controller and...
Tommy Robinson

Muslims should respect our laws, says racist in prison for breaking our laws

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Today crowds of nearly a few dozen have gathered outside Downing Street armed with Placards stating "free are Tommy" and two Netto bags full...

Abu Hamza to be welcomed back to the UK with State Visit

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Hate preacher Abu Hamza has been invited to a State Visit after Number 10 revealed that they are widening the scope of the unsavoury...
Homeless

Every doorway to get free homeless person, pledge Conservatives

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The Tory Party has pledged that every doorway in Britain will get a free homeless person by 2021. A spokesman told us, "The Tory Party...

UKIP elect Diane James leader

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UKIP have elected Diane James as their new leader. Apologies for our previous article that featured Mick Jagger from The Rollong Stones. Our intern Douglas has...
Inclement weather

Facebook Meteorologists Out In Force

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The annual outing of Facebook Meteorologists is in full swing. Facebook servers are under severe strain from the pictures of the first inclement weather...
Car parked over two spaces

Sexism Claim Over Parking Abuse

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A driver has defended parking his car across two spaces in a supermarket car park saying "no one would have batted an eyelid if...

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