New £50 note to be made of foie gras
In a surprise move, it was revealed today that the new £50 note is to be made of foie gras. The announcement comes as...
Aging pop acts battle over who inspired Storm Caroline
As reports develop of the latest weather front to hit the UK, it appears that a storm is brewing in the music world that's...
Chelsea Pensioner breaks Paul Golding’s nose
Biffer bashed as Veteran rejects attempt to hijack Remembrance Sunday
Remembrance Sunday is commemorated every year on the second Sunday of November to mark the...
Arms manufacturers to commemorate the fallen dead
Since 1919, on the second Sunday of November, otherwise known as Remembrance Sunday, a two minute silence has been observed at 11am at war...
Piers Morgan leads star studded sing along to F**k Tha Police
Piers Morgan shared a video on Tuesday night showing him and other self-quarantined celebrities singing NWA's "Fuck Tha Police"
"Hi guys. Day who knows what...
Wonga to rebrand as Universal Credit Day Loans
The Autumn Budget 2017 announced changes to Universal Credit, merging the government's flagship benefits payment scheme with short-term high-cost credit provider Wonga.
Mr B.Starde a...
Britons Now Incapable Of Making Any Decision Without A Referendum
The majority of British people are now incapable of making a decision without first holding a referendum, according to a study published today.
Researchers...
Scotland to ban Smack for children
The Scottish government has confirmed that children will no longer be able to use Smack in Scotland.
The move would make the country the first...
Sports Direct working practices review.
In the face of a shareholder revolt, retail giant Sports Direct is to drag its working practices kicking and screaming into the 1920's.
Following a...
Rail Companies to simplify process of deciding which is the worst
Following recent criticism from the rail regulator, Train operating companies (TOCs) are to make it easier for travellers to decide which has the worst...
Climate Change still insisting Donald Trump is a Chinese Conspiracy
Climate Change has today confirmed that it will continue on its promise to make the Weather Great Again despite the insistence from some it...
Move to rename Oldham as Oldtofu welcomed by militant vegans
The town of Oldham, Greater Mancashire, has been praised by vegan activists, hipsters and liberal snowflakes alike for taking the progressive move of removing...
Eric Bristow MBE says beaten women aren’t ‘proper men’
The pie faced gravy rhyming bastard, who obtained Royal recognition for being good at throwing things made the comment after a series of ill...
Microsoft worker takes Apple to court
Yesterday, a Microsoft employee allegedly got a dressing down from High Court judge, the Right Honorable Justice Antony Smyth-Tomkinson. The employee who we cannot...
“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons.
Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.
With launch codes about...
Morons wondering why blizzard wasn’t averted by thin layer of salt
Millions of morons across the UK were left perplexed when a thin layer of salt didn't prevent their cars getting stuck in 3 feet...
