Sturgeon

‘It’s the Welsh we hate not the English’ claims SNP

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The Scottish National Party has released an official statement denying that their desire for Scottish independence is motivated by a historic mistrust of the...
Hull

Ruins of city unearthed by earthquake “just Hull” archaeologists told

Excitement in the archaeological world this weekend turned to bitter disappointment after archaeologists discovered the ruins of a primitive civilisation on the Yorkshire cost...
Cocker Spaniel

Cocker Spaniel has reasonable and sensible response to doorbell

Reports are coming in that a cocker spaniel has had a perfectly reasonable and sensible reaction to somebody ringing the doorbell. The incident occurred when...

Private rail company owner and Blairite totally unbiased about Traingate

Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson said today that claims that he has it in for rail nationalisation enthusiast Jeremy Corbyn are unfounded. The gazillionaire, famous...

Tate & Lyle sponsor cabinet meetings

After what critics are calling a feeble effort to tackle childhood obesity the government is now in hot water again as it transpired that...

Jeremy Hunt’s £44,000 office shower necessary for cleaning off his bullshit

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“Of course Jeremy needs a shower for his office. He’s in it right now as a matter of fact. Every time he opens his mouth, he spews out so much utter bullshit that it gets all over him and he has to get cleaned up.”
Village fete

Vote leave caught cheating at tombola

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The vote leave campaign have today received a stern glare and a verbal ticking off for cheating at the village fete tombola. It turns out...
Green

Inside the Dark Underbelly of Kensington: Salad Dealers

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Our Herald undercover reporter uncovers the sinister side of the illegal Kensington salad trade. It’s 2 a.m. and I’m standing outside an all-night coffee shop...
UK Police

Concerns mount for Rochdale man not heard yelling at Six O’clock News

Concerns are mounting over the welfare of a Rochdale man who is apparently missing from his Lancashire home. Steve Dickinson, 42 and a bit, was...

BBC expose puts police behind Barr’s

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A shock revelation on BBC Breakfast this morning revealed that British police forces are using fizzy drink to subdue suspects. The footage was taken from...

Coronavirus maybe more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith warns Government

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The Government is warning that Coronavirus could be more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith. The warning comes as the number of cases in Britain...
Prince Philip

Women who can close car doors can crash cars too, chuckles Duke of Edinburgh

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Palace sources reveal Philip's delight at Meghan's unusual approach to royal protocol Arriving at the Royal Academy of Arts to attend her first solo event...

Rolf Harris to paint The Queen again for TV comeback special

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Former popular television presenter to repaint Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth following release from prison. Rolf Harris, 87, is rumoured to be looking at the possibility...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip denies sending Harry and Megan packet of mystery white powder

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The Duke of Edinburgh has strenuously denied sending Prince Harry and Megan Marckle a toxic package. The parcel was left on Harry and Megan's doorstep...

Colonel Mustard blames the Housing Minister in the Cabinet Office with the Funding Cuts

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Colonel Mustard has alleged that the housing minister, in the cabinet office, with the funding cuts caused the Grenfell fire.   The Colonel, wearing a...
Hunt Saboteurs

Hunt saboteurs can’t feel pain, government declares

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The government has voted to reject a bill that recognises that hunt saboteurs are humans who feel pain and emotion. Following an incident over the...

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