Thousands come together for eye testing
Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits.
One attendee told us,...
Life is meaningless and everything dies, concludes child on ‘day out’ to historic town
A child from Rochdale has concluded that life is meaningless and that everything dies during a visit to York with his parents during the...
Priti Patel congratulates Boris Johnson on arrival of 3001005789th baby boy
Priti Patel, Minister for whatever the heck it is she does has been one of the first Government Ministers to congratulate Boris Johnson and...
Prince Philip in grim reaper racist remark gaffe
Hospital staff were apparently left flabbergasted at the Duke of Edinburgh's casually racist remarks during a recent impromptu visit by Death, the harvester of...
Next leaders debate to be chaired by Jeremy Kyle and feature Boris Johnson paternity...
The next General Election leaders debate will feature a new format hosted by Jeremy Kyle. There will also be a paternity test at the...
First year student can’t wait to get home to tell her pony all about...
A first year student at the University of Bristol is said to be very excited about getting home for Christmas so she can tell...
Theresa May to Naked Mud Wrestle Nicola Sturgeon for the Right to Trigger Brexit
British Prime Minister Theresa May is to mud wrestle naked with Scottish nationalist leader Nicola Sturgeon for the right to trigger article 50 to take the...
Russia urges foreign powers not to meddle in their U.K. elections
The Russian Government has urged all nations to refrain from interfering in its UK elections.
A spokesman told us, "We are very worried about other...
Rees-Mogg reveals time travel is workable Irish border solution
Jacob Rees-Mogg has revealed that the Irish border issue can be easily and practically solved using time travel.
Rees-Mogg revealed the plan today in a...
If it wasn’t for my £4m house and investment portfolio I’d be practically penniless,...
Nigel Farage, the former leader of Ukip, has told The Rochdale Herald that if it wasn't for his £4M house, his £2.5M investment portfolio...
Increased racism was on the other bus say Brexiteers
Brexiteers have been quick to point out that a post-Brexit vote increase in racism was on the other bus.
Government clown Boris Johnson said, "This...
Mel Brooks confirms rework of The Producers starring Donald Trump about to climax
Veteran comic Mel Brooks, 91, has confirmed that his ambitious live action show, The President, will end shortly with a musical impeachment. Speaking at...
‘Just a phase’ movement finally represented at London Gay Pride
In another great victory for liberal tolerance, the much maligned "just a phase" movement will be properly recognised at tomorrow's London Pride.
In between...
BBC Breakfast mix up Sturgeon with Gorilla
BBC Breakfast has apologised after images of the gorilla Kumbuka, whose recent non-escape filled a slow news day, were shown on screen instead of...
Smart Energy may help me keep job – says National Grid boss
The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw, has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to...
Woman who believes she is British Prime Minister found wandering in Japan
A woman who apparently believes she is the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom has been found wandering in Japan attempting to convince people...
