Nuclear war could be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry

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A globally devastating nuclear war could prove to be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry, the UK's Secretary of State for International...

School sex education classes to be replaced by Love Island

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School sex education classes are rubbish and should be replaced by episodes of Love Island it has been decided. Justine Greening said, "Learning to draw...

Tories to pledge crackdown on food bankers’ bonuses

A leaked copy of the Conservative Party's election manifesto has revealed plans to crackdown on 'luxury' items being handed out to those forced to...
Queen

Queen shocked to discover she’s invested in Los Pollos Hermanos

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The Queen is said to be shocked that her accountants have invested heavily in Los Pollos Hermanos. The food chain, seen in the TV...
Boris Felipe Spoon

Boris Johnson hits King of Spain on forehead with spoon after mistaking him for...

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Britain and Spain are embroiled in a ferocious diplomatic incident after Boris Johnson hit King Felipe VI of Spain on the forehead with a...
BMW

300,000 BMW recalled after being found to contain faulty drivers

BMW has confirmed a second recall of hundreds of thousands of vehicles from UK roads in a year, due to problems with the cars...

Santa Claus Denied Visa to Enter UK

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The Herald has discovered that father Christmas has been denied a visa to enter the UK on Christmas Eve, amid fears he may decide...

Returning jihadis to be given free roast dinner at BUCKINGHAM PALACE

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Britons who travelled to Syria to fight for the so-called Islamic State will be welcomed back into the country with a FREE roast dinner...
Alan Rickman

There’s nothing more Christmassy than seeing German Terrorist fall out of window, confirm men

Men around the world have confirmed that it's not Christmas until they have seen either a German terrorist or a half naked prostitute fall...
White Walkers

Army of White Walkers causing delays M1 Southbound

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Drivers and commuters are facing another difficult day of delays and difficult journeys across the UK after a second night of freezing temperatures.  The Met...

Arsonists shocked building they set on fire is burning

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A group of arsonists have spoken of their shock at discovering that a building they've spent a decade carefully trying to set fire to...

Social Services called after parents name baby Nigel

United Kingdom - Reports are emerging that Social Services have stepped in and taken a child into care in Burnley after learning that the...

Scottish Windfarm to re-open after summer recess

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Nicola Sturgeon is to give a massive boost to renewable energy later today by droning on about the "way forward for Scotland" and as...
Jacob Rees Mogg

Scary brexiteer “Mogo” revealed to be a hoax

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Jacob Rees-Mogg,known to the internet as "Mogo",the scary haunted Victorian doll,has been revealed to be a hoax. Pictures of Mogo have been popping up on...
British Army

Man who’s never met a squaddie shocked army contains right wing extremists

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A Rochdale man has told of his shock at discovering that some members of the British Army hold extreme right wing views. Cal Low, who...

UKIP launch investigation into how 3 of its members managed to read a map

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UKIP have launched an immediate inquiry into how 3 of its members managed to read a map and several signs to find a book...

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