Paul Nuttall

Nuttall pulls out of Stoke by-election

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NHS hating, pathological liar and leader of UKIP, Paul Nuttall, has today pulled out of the Stoke by-election after it was revealed that his remaining...

Police force man to remove clothing on Rochdale beach

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Photographs have emerged of armed police confronting a diver on Rochdale's now notorious Stansfield Beach. In this most recent effort to enforce new laws...

Shaun Ryder and Bez involved in major undercover police anti-drugs operation

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Police have released details of a massively successful anti-drugs operation conducted with the help of Shaun Ryder and Bez. As the son of a...
Game of Thrones

Tolkein With Tits set to dominate office conversations as Game of Thrones returns

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As the umpteenth series of the godawful fantasy franchise "Game of Thrones" is due to air on Murdoch-vision this week, those with more refined...

Awkward moment for Prince Andrew at nativity as virgin told she will have a...

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There were awkward scenes for Prince Andrew today at a nativity in Sandringham when a virgin was told she will  have a baby. The Prince...
Larry the Cat

Larry the Downing Street Cat responds to allegations of sexual misconduct: These stories are...

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Disgraced veteran mouser Larry the Downing Street Cat on Friday admitted to allegations of sexual misconduct that were levelled against him earlier in the...

Bra fitters feel a right pair of tits after revealing the size of the...

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Bra fitters Rigby & Peller have lost their Royal warrant after Buckingham Palace cancelled its contract with the company after they revealed intimate details...

Man discovers he’s middle aged after getting neck injury whilst putting jumper on

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A Rochdale man has come to the realisation he's middle aged after sustaining a neck injury whilst putting on a jumper. Stan Still, 38, said,...
Tony the Tiger

Tony the Tiger loses paw to Type 2 diabetes

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Tony the Tiger, the face of the Frosties breakfast cereal brand since 1952, has according to sources, lost a paw to Type 2 diabetes. Mr...
Demolition

New EU regulations will require all new houses to have Toulouse

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Flush from the success of Brexit, the EU Commission has been swift to demonstrate what the future looks like without a good hard Brit. ...

Man fined for forgetting to post picture on Facebook of litter he picked up...

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A man has been fined for failing to take a picture of the rubbish he picked up on a beach and post it on...

Recruitment Consultant talking loudly on phone on train sounds like a bell end, agree...

Passengers from both sides of the Pennines travelling on a train between Manchester and Leeds are united in agreement that a young, overly keen...
Piers Morgan

If you loved the Blitz you’ll love Brexit, says Piers Morgan

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Piers Morgan has told ITV viewers that if they loved the Blitz they're going to love Brexit. Morgan made the comments in on Good Morning...

Abu Hamza to be welcomed back to the UK with State Visit

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Hate preacher Abu Hamza has been invited to a State Visit after Number 10 revealed that they are widening the scope of the unsavoury...

Patients should only suffer because of politics – Insists Hunt

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Homeopathic politician and all-round quack-licker Jeremy The Hunt has stated that patients will suffer if planned strikes by junior doctors go ahead. "Obviously we don't...
shaking hands

DUP B.U.N.G. to be funded through NI contributions

British Unity Nationally Guaranteed Treasury Minister Terry Axe announced today that British Unity Nationally Guaranteed (aka B.U.N.G.) payments will start shortly as part of delivering...

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