Morons wondering why blizzard wasn’t averted by thin layer of salt
Millions of morons across the UK were left perplexed when a thin layer of salt didn't prevent their cars getting stuck in 3 feet...
UKIP contains more pricks than Eric Bristow’s dartboard
The political establishment was rocked today when new research conclusively proved that the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) contains more pricks than world famous darts...
Nicholas Witchell tasered during naked Prince Philip coup attempt
The BBC’s Royal correspondent, Nicholas Witchell, is currently under heavy sedation after attempting to storm the gates of Buckingham Palace.
According to eyewitnesses, the journalist...
EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain
The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...
May criticised for scheduling Queen’s speech on Day of Rage
After weeks of uncertainty tinged with tragedy, the hard right fanatical Tories have been hammering out a deal with the DUP, which will finally...
Anger as Rochdale drops out of top 5 towns for childhood obesity
Rochdale residents have reacted with anger after it was revealed that Rochdale has dropped from 4th to 9th in the UK's childhood obesity ranking.
12...
Now for something different, our Big Fat Secret Santa
Along with the very fine and folk at NewsThump and The Southend News Network we have put together what we think could be one...
Family dog dutifully tells sleeping baby that there’s somebody at the door
A dutiful family dog has very helpfully informed a sleeping baby that there is somebody at the door.
The seven year old Cocker Spaniel made...
Theresa May to meet Carwyn Jones to tell him to fuck off in person
Theresa May is set to meet Carwyn Jones, the First Minister of Wales to reassure him that the needs, plans, hopes and dreams of...
‘Fuck equality’ says equalities boss
The chairman of the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) David Isaac made the comment earlier this week;
"Everyone is equal and all religions should be...
Scientists confirm tea tastes better when somebody else makes it
Researchers from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that tea tastes loads better when somebody else has made it.
Maurice Tips,...
Daily Mail Editor suspected stroke after Muslim Immigrant awarded Knighthood in New Year’s Honours
The Editor of the Daily Mail is in a critical condition today after learning that a Muslim has been knighted by the Queen in the New Year's Honours list.
Super hunter chilli Yorkie ice cream man-bar ultra plus released for aggressive thrusting straight...
In a bid to expand on the non-gay male ice cream market, a new extreme sports cryogenic experience for man men is being launched.
It...
I wouldn’t rape a fat woman, I have standards – says Trump
Thousands of Republican voters suffered serious head injuries yesterday after face palming themselves really hard during a Trump Rally.
Scientists confirm that builder’s tea is just tea
A team of scientists from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that builder's tea is, in fact, just tea.
Clarence Tetley,...
Man believes in equality because he has daughters
A man has confirmed today that he is “totally woke” on the issues facing women today, because he has made not just one, but...
