Tory Party pledges to attack pot holes now it has defeated the disabled

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The Tory Party has declared victory in its war against the disabled and announced it will re-deploy its resources in a war on pot...

Muppet fury over South West Trains slur

Muppets across Britain are furious today after learning that the name of their species was used as a slur to describe vandals by an...

Boris Upsets Sturgeon Over Calls for New Indyref

Boris Johnson today ran into further hot water, or perhaps hot oil, over comments responding to Nicola Sturgeon's view that only an Independent Scotland...
Buckingham Palace

Donald Trump declares Buckingham Palace ‘shit hole’ and offers to pay for repairs.

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After a petition to stop the orange Hitler visiting the Queen passed 1.7 million signatures, the tyrannical dictator offered to meet the new President...
Remote pointing at TV

GCHQ Samsung smart TV hack reveals threat to UK

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WikiLeaks revelations that GCHQ has hacked into Samsung smart TV sets to turn them into listening devices has revealed some fascinating facts impacting on...

Daily Mail editor collapsed after not using racial slur to describe Prince Harry’s...

The editor of The Daily Mail is said to be in a critical condition this afternoon after learning that Prince Harry's new girlfriend is mixed race.

Children of middle class parents begin Christmas paperwork

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The children of middle class parents all over the country are celebrating the rest of their holidays by doing paperwork.
Rees Mogg Farage

Being a Menace when you’re called Dennis now about as plausible as being a...

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The Beano have announced they are going to change one of their longest running characters names. Despite its wonderful rhyme, bosses at the...
Sturgeon

Autumn 2022 “common sense date for IndyRef 4” says Sturgeon

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Scotland's first minister has said autumn 2018 would be a "common sense" date for a 4th independence referendum. Nicola Sturgeon continued to insist, however, that...
Big Ben Fireworks

Recently renamed London landmark Massive Mohammed to ring out for Diwali despite repairs

There will be fewer quiet nights during October after the authorities in charge of the House of Commons agreed to give the recently renamed...

Labour Unveil New All White Party Flag

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Thanks to Labour another Article 50 bill amendment that would have risked empowering the British people, who are now known to be idiots, has...

British public says Nigel Farage can have peerage now so long as we don’t...

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“It’s like Frankenstein’s monster. You create this and release it there is no telling what harm it will do once it realises it has thumbs. Better instead to give the chancer a Lordship and let him never turn up to the House of Lords. It will be exactly the same as his ‘work’ as an MEP. Put him on a few committees and you’ll never see him again.”

Government reveals latest cohort of “freak and misfit” advisors

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The Government has announced that it has recruited some more "freaks and weirdos" as advisors following the resignation of noted weirdo, Andrew Sabisky. A spokesman...
Boxer hitting punchbag

Paul Nuttall – Why I Won’t Talk About Fight Club

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Paul Nuttall O.B.E is reluctant to talk about Fight Club, the global phenomenon he founded in 1996. “Chuck and me, we don't talk about it." He...
Theresa May

Awkward Moment as Someone has to explain what a Joke is to Theresa May

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There was an awkward meeting this morning when an assistant to the Prime Minister had to explain to her what a joke was. This occurred...

Prince William’s asking about legalizing drugs “for a friend”

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Following news today that Prince William asked various drug users about their views on current drug laws, The Rochdale Herald was approached by a...

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