National News

Prince Philip has today gone under the knife for surgery on his dodgy hip. However 30 minutes later he was deemed fit to work in an ATOS work capability assessment. "He's able to walk, talk and use his...

A Starbucks in Manchester was evacuated today after a man called Alan Akbar ordered a Caramel Frappuccino. Alan told us, "I was out shopping and fancied a quick coffee. I've been in Starbucks a couple...

Jacob Rees-Mogg,known to the internet as "Mogo",the scary haunted Victorian doll,has been revealed to be a hoax. Pictures of Mogo have been popping up on various political media, with a very posh voice-over telling politicians...

Following the news that Harry and Meghan were to take a "step back" from Royal duties, Buckingham Palace made a swift move and have signed Sam Allardyce as caretaker princess until the end of...

The people who burnt a model of the Grenfell tower on bonfire should face a much higher standard of justice than the people who made the flats into a tinderbox in the first place...

As news broke that Harry and Meghan have decided to quit their jobs to spend less time with their family, the country braced itself for what might happen next. Some things are easily predicted....

A Rochdale man that has just spent a month telling anyone within earshot or on the internet that all lives matter has said he's furious that Boris Johnson has announced that 3 million Hong...

Jeremy Corbyn is once again under fire after being photographed at a wreath laying event with a bunch of  terrorists, mass murderers, international arms dealers and baby killers. The Labour leader had been asked why...

A man has told the Rochdale Herald that he's protecting the statue of Winston Churchill in Whitehall because, "You'd be speaking German if it wasn't for Churchill", before giving a Nazi salute. Retired football...

Dominic Raab has announced that Britain is set to sign a very lucrative tax avoidance deal with Lichtenstein. A Government spokesman said, "This is a very important deal we've signed. There's every chance that the...

Following the overwhelming success of the Department of Education's strategy of grading academic exam results based on teachers' predicted grades and previous attainment levels, the government has announced a plan to determine General Election...

Boris Johnson has said that Britain shouldn't be ashamed about the BBC's decision to spend £250m on non-existent PPE for the Last Night of the Proms. Mr Johnson said, "We should be proud that the...

Transport secretary Grant Shapps is so convinced that going back to work in offices is safe, that he has hired a fleet of ferries to transport people into city centres. The UK Transport Secretary has...

In a surprise move today London councillors have confirmed plans to demolish the home of 78 year old Mr Osborn-Brooks and in its place start construction of a memorial garden to the dead burglar,...

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have left hospital after increasing the burden on the taxpayer for a third time. The new prince, who was born at St Mary's Hospital, London, at 11:01, weighing 8lb...

Equality campaigners have welcomed plans to rename Big Ben as part of a project celebrating London's rich cultural heritage. The famous landmark, which is due to undergo extensive refurbishment next week, is to be called...