Brexiteer skydiving team dies in tragic accident after replacing parachutes with optimism

An entire elderly skydiving display team has died in a tragic accident in Essex this weekend after replacing their parachutes with an optimistic attitude. The incident happened during the...

?Britain First & UKIP oddly quiet about white family abusing student visa rules

Quite why the public aren't offended by the white, middle class family trying to buck the immigration system is baffling academics as anti-immigration campaigners are strangely quiet about an Australian family who came to...

People who make flammable models to face higher standard of justice than people who...

The people who burnt a model of the Grenfell tower on bonfire should face a much higher standard of justice than the people who made the flats into a tinderbox in the first place...
Tommy Robinson

Muslims should respect our laws, says racist in prison for breaking our laws

Today crowds of nearly a few dozen have gathered outside Downing Street armed with Placards stating "free are Tommy" and two Netto bags full of premium strength lager. They are protesting the imprisonment of Luton...
Clubbing

Couple looking forward to annual tedious night out, in dreadful nightclub with hideous people

A middle aged Rochdale couple are reportedly giddy with excitement about their annual tedious night out in a horrible club with hideous people  tonight. Barbara and Steve Dickinson have decided once again to go to...

Cute dog is a savage little shit

A survey of very cute little dogs has discovered that almost 99.9% of them are in fact savage little bastards. The survey which was carried out by Which Pet magazine has proven conclusively that all...

Geordie accused of ‘cultural appropriation’ after wearing jacket during night out

A Geordie is being criticised by social media users for posting an Instagram photo of her wearing a jacket during a night out on Tyneside. 26-year-old hairdresser, Cheryl Weedy, revealed her new look on Thursday...
James Hewitt

James Hewitt ‘THRILLED’ at Prince Harry’s engagement to Megan Markle

James Hewitt has said he's 'thrilled' at the announcement of the engagement of Prince Harry to 'some sort from America'. "Many people don't know this, but I knew Harry's mother for many years and I...

Unemployed mother on benefits knocked up AGAIN

It's all over social media that an unemployed mother on state benefits, who already has two kids, is knocked up yet again.

Jim Bowen to be placed in burning speedboat in viking funeral

Jim Bowen, the comedian and inventor of darts is to receive a full viking funeral. Mr Bowen, who invented the game of "darts" in the 1970's, died yesterday at the age of 80. He will...
Houses of Parliament

People who squeeze teabag to be stripped of citizenship and deported

The whole of the UK has united behind the Home Secretary's decision to deport anybody who squeezes the teabag before removing it from the mug. People who squeeze teabags have been recognised as...

Riot Police and Protestors Come Together to Help Fat Man out of Jeans

There were touching scenes at The Moderates against Moderation riot in the car park outside Rochdale's now infamous Waitrose as police and rioters came together to help a fat man out of his trousers. Steve...
hiker

People who go for walks but don’t own a dog are a bit weird...

The Kennel club released a statement this afternoon saying that people who don't own a dog but go for a daily walk are a bit weird, probably up to something and should be approached with caution.
Prince Philip

Prince Philip deemed fit to work after ATOS work capability assessment

Prince Philip has today gone under the knife for surgery on his dodgy hip. However 30 minutes later he was deemed fit to work in an ATOS work capability assessment. "He's able to walk, talk and use his...
Rochdale-missile-launch.jpg

Rochdale’s secret Nuclear Past REVEALED

Shock revelations have shaken Rochdale to its very core as documents from the cold war have been declassified, revealing that the 7 sisters were a nuclear missile launch site throughout the 70's and 80's,...
Mo Farah

QUEEN defends herself from MUSLIM IMMIGRANT with SWORD

According to reports in the Daily Mail today the Queen has been forced to defend herself from a marauding Muslim immigrant with a sword. A Daily Express staff witness said: "Liz was forced to tap...

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