National News

Following the news that Harry and Meghan were to take a "step back" from Royal duties, Buckingham Palace made a swift move and have signed Sam Allardyce as caretaker princess until the...

A cat who took a poo in a litter tray lined with a copy of the Daily Mail has been named as new editor of the paper, and will replace Geordie Greig...

Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool Tower in his Hull constituency. In a statement the Foreign Office...

Austrian incest enthusiast, Josef Fritzl has been awarded a Knighthood in the New Years honours list. The list, released today recognises a range of people from a wide range of areas across...

To a POTUS Yon tangerine faced Yankee prick, that makes the people aw feel sick, who has a little tiny dick and a big red button He's welcome not on Scotland's shores and if he dare to knock our doors we'll...

Albion; pleasant, fair and green In the year of our Lord, 2020 Dragons were few and seldom seen, Yet poor folk were a plenty   Though dragons were vanquished many years prior The...

There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead. The show depicts characters trying to stay alive following a zombie apocalypse....

Iain Duncan Smith, MP for Chingford and Woodford Green, says strict investiture rules mean he could be forced to wait as long as six weeks for his knighthood. Duncan Smith, said that when...

Joffrey I Baratheon, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm is to perform Iain Duncan Smith's Knighting ceremony. A Palace spokesman said,...

Equality campaigners have welcomed plans to rename Big Ben as part of a project celebrating London's rich cultural heritage. The famous landmark, which is due to undergo extensive refurbishment next week, is to be called...

A Starbucks in Manchester was evacuated today after a man called Alan Akbar ordered a Caramel Frappuccino. Alan told us, "I was out shopping and fancied a quick coffee....

In a world first a group of lads from Rochdale have posed the question, "why can't we just do something civilised and get a good night's sleep" when asked what they should do for...

Middle class mums all over the Home Counties are being credited with a reversal to the effects of Global Warming after tens of thousands of them drove enormous Range Rovers to their...

Quite why the public aren't offended by the white, middle class family trying to buck the immigration system is baffling academics as anti-immigration campaigners are strangely quiet about an Australian family who came to...

Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system. A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system rewards people with skills that are needed in...

Health campaigners in Scotland have urged the SNP government to take immediate action after an Edinburgh chip shop was found to be selling deep-fried Class A drugs. Described by some as "possibly the most Scottish...