Plumber

London’s last affordable plumber shot by poachers

London's last surviving affordable plumber has been killed by poachers in Clapham, according to a conservation group that protects a dwindling group of reliable tradesmen in London, estimated to be as few as 15. The...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn pictured laying wreath with international terrorists, arms dealers and mass murderers

Jeremy Corbyn is once again under fire after being photographed at a wreath laying event with a bunch of  terrorists, mass murderers, international arms dealers and baby killers. The Labour leader had been asked why...

Unemployed mother on benefits knocked up AGAIN

It's all over social media that an unemployed mother on state benefits, who already has two kids, is knocked up yet again.

Geordie accused of ‘cultural appropriation’ after wearing jacket during night out

A Geordie is being criticised by social media users for posting an Instagram photo of her wearing a jacket during a night out on Tyneside. 26-year-old hairdresser, Cheryl Weedy, revealed her new look on Thursday...
Boris Felipe Spoon

Boris Johnson hits King of Spain on forehead with spoon after mistaking him for...

Britain and Spain are embroiled in a ferocious diplomatic incident after Boris Johnson hit King Felipe VI of Spain on the forehead with a spoon after mistaking him for a drinks waiter. The incident, described...

Rupert Murdoch still on course to become Britain’s longest-serving Prime Minister

With only two days of campaigning left before the general election, polling suggests that Rupert Murdoch is still on course to become Britain’s longest-serving Prime Minister. Despite an upsurge in support for Labour over the...

Stonehenge to be knocked down to make way for new Super-Mosque

Details leaked from an article due to be published in the Daily Mail show plans to bulldoze the famous neolithic landmark to make way for a place of worship for Salisbury Plain's burgeoning Muslim...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn urges Labour MP’s to get behind Theresa May or risk making him...

Jeremy Corbyn has told Labour MP's that they had better get behind Theresa May and her, "And then there were none" vision of Brexit otherwise he risks becoming Prime Minister. One MP told us, "Jeremy...
Sajid Javid

Sajid Javid accidentally deports himself to Pakistan

Sajid Javid has accidentally deported himself to Pakistan. A Home Office spokesman said, "Mr Javid has said that a hard Brexit is a good thing as it means a more robust immigration policy can be...
Prince Harry begging

Prince Harry arrested in Windsor for aggressive begging to pay for wedding

Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police sting operation. The Prince was amongst dozens of beggars on the...

Theresa May to Naked Mud Wrestle Nicola Sturgeon for the Right to Trigger Brexit

British Prime Minister Theresa May is to mud wrestle naked with Scottish nationalist leader Nicola Sturgeon for the right to trigger article 50 to take the United Kingdom out the European Union. Sources close to the prime...
Dignity

Bin man feared dead after ship called Dignity found wrecked off west coast

Fears are growing this evening for a Glasgow bin man whose boat has been found wrecked off the west coast of Scotland. The man, a worker for Glasgow council for twenty years, known to his...
Kate and William

Royal baby has already earned more than you

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have left hospital after increasing the burden on the taxpayer for a third time. The new prince, who was born at St Mary's Hospital, London, at 11:01, weighing 8lb...
Beer

Sad wankers unable to even part a Londoner from his beer

Sad little wankers have today expressed dismay that their plans to sow fear into our communities and bring about the downfall of society have yet to come to fruition. ISIS-supporter and sad little wanker,...
Earl Grey

Earl Grey tea is actually horrible, admit people who drink it

A woman from Rochdale has admitted that she doesn't really like Earl Grey tea because it tastes horrible. Winifred Barbarella from Milnrow (35 and three quarters), who wishes to remain anonymous, is an unemployed personal...

White nationalists boycott Black Friday claiming all Fridays matter

A number of white nationalist groups have joined together in a boycott against the post-Thanksgiving consumer event known as Black Friday. Black Friday has been an annual event in the US for many years and...

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