New BananaPhone for men undersized, unreliable, and turns itself off when you want to...
The new BananaPhone has been launched exclusively at the male market. It has a retractable cover which simply pulls down for ease of use,...
Move to rename Oldham as Oldtofu welcomed by militant vegans
The town of Oldham, Greater Mancashire, has been praised by vegan activists, hipsters and liberal snowflakes alike for taking the progressive move of removing...
Muslim women swap burkas for Stig costumes to appeal to middle aged white men
A new experimental initiative has seen numerous British Muslim women swap their traditional full face veils for an outfit made popular by Top Gear's...
Rupert Murdoch still on course to become Britain’s longest-serving Prime Minister
With only two days of campaigning left before the general election, polling suggests that Rupert Murdoch is still on course to become Britain’s longest-serving...
Earl Grey tea is actually horrible, admit people who drink it
A woman from Rochdale has admitted that she doesn't really like Earl Grey tea because it tastes horrible.
Winifred Barbarella from Milnrow (35 and three...
People that pull statues down to face different level of justice to people that...
The Government has confirmed that the people that pulled a statue down over the weekend will face a different level of justice to those...
Aggressive beggars to marry in Windsor Castle in May
People across the country have been delighted by the recent news that one of the UK's sponsored panhandlers has decided to let a wealthy,...
Riot Police and Protestors Come Together to Help Fat Man out of Jeans
There were touching scenes at The Moderates against Moderation riot in the car park outside Rochdale's now infamous Waitrose as police and rioters came...
Slums angered after being compared to Stevenage by Lewis Hamilton
Lewis Hamilton has upset slums all over the world by comparing them to Stevenage.
The five-time Formula 1 world champion made the faux pas while...
Boris promises £350M per week to recovery of British Virgin Island tax havens
Boris Johnson, United Kingdom Foreign Secretary and all round honest broker, took the airwaves via the Today programme this morning to promise the UK...
Geordie accused of ‘cultural appropriation’ after wearing jacket during night out
A Geordie is being criticised by social media users for posting an Instagram photo of her wearing a jacket during a night out on...
Obvious Satire Still Confusing Idiots, Say Scientists
Researchers at the esteemed Rochdale Community University have published a study today revealing that fool-proof satire is still not fool-proof.
"We gave some angry morons...
Earthquake rescue workers assured Grimsby is fine, it’s supposed to look like that
Earthquake rescue teams from around the globe were told to stand down today after they descended en masse on Grimsby in Lincolnshire following reports...
Prince Harry arrested in Windsor for aggressive begging to pay for wedding
Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police...
Your Mum has a dildo
Children all over the country are coming to terms with the horrifying reality that their Mums have at least one dildo.
Hampstead Heath Glory Holes to close in respect for George Michael
Regular visitors to Hampsted Heath have been informed all glory holes will be closed from tomorrow as a mark of respect to George Michael.
A...
