Prince Harry begging

Prince Harry arrested in Windsor for aggressive begging to pay for wedding

Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police...
Wicker

Remote Scottish regions report shortages of wicker.

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Reports are reaching us of shortages of some unexpected commodities in rural Scotland. This follows human slug, Rod Liddle's advice in Der Spectator that people...
Queen and Philip

The Queen asks Merkel to form a government

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Her Majesty the Queen is expected to travel to Berlin later today to ask German Chancellor Angela Merkel to form a government for the...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip to star in new season of The Walking Dead

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There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead. The show depicts characters...

Prince Andrew self isolating in Windsor with Olivia-16

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Following the news that Prince Charles has contracted Covid-19, The Rochdale Herald has learned that Prince Andrew is self isolating at his home in...
Sunshine

Town centres full of fat topless pricks for some reason

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Town centres are chock full of topless, pasty white fat pricks for some reason according to sources. For some reason thousands upon thousands of fat...
Die Hard 2

Gatwick drone operators arrested after shootout at abandoned church and ski-doo chase across frozen...

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A team of former special-forces mercenaries have been arrested in connection with the criminal use of drones which has caused the widespread disruption to...

Theresa May to Naked Mud Wrestle Nicola Sturgeon for the Right to Trigger Brexit

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British Prime Minister Theresa May is to mud wrestle naked with Scottish nationalist leader Nicola Sturgeon for the right to trigger article 50 to take the...
Britain First

In search of wankers dozen – story behind Britain First. A two part investigation...

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Following the announcement of the new term 'wankers dozen' defined as 'a Britain First meeting', the Rochdale Herald has been investigating the story behind...

Riot Police and Protestors Come Together to Help Fat Man out of Jeans

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There were touching scenes at The Moderates against Moderation riot in the car park outside Rochdale's now infamous Waitrose as police and rioters came...

Special D-Day edition of Daily Mail includes special pull out of it supporting fascism...

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The Daily Mail has revealed its very special D-Day supplement today. The supplement will be available this weekend and looks back to a time...
Theresa May Christmas

Theresa May gets into Christmas spirit by ordering census and slaughtering first born children

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Theresa May has finally got into the spirit of Christmas by ordering a massive census of everybody in the UK and slaughtering all of...

Cat who shit in litter tray lined with Daily Mail appointed editor

A cat who took a poo in a litter tray lined with a copy of the Daily Mail has been named as new editor...

UK moves to a pocket full of posies phase of Coronavirus plan

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The Government has this morning announced, it has begun the "pocket full of posies" phase of its Coronavirus plan. Spokesman Bill Board said, "We use...
Theresa May

Theresa May negotiates paying full price for a DFS sofa

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Theresa May has succeeded in negotiating paying full price on a sofa from DFS. Mrs May was returning from Salzburg following the most disappointing trip...

Outrage after child attends school Halloween party dressed as a MOSQUE

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A group of parents is said to have been left "absolutely fummin (sic)" after a child turned up to a local Halloween party dressed...

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