Britain WARNED to expect seasonally COLD WEATHER in winter AGAIN
The UK has been warned that parts of the country could get a bit colder now that it is December for the billionth year...
Hampstead Heath Glory Holes to close in respect for George Michael
Regular visitors to Hampsted Heath have been informed all glory holes will be closed from tomorrow as a mark of respect to George Michael.
A...
David Blunkett confirms he’s still blind following driving test
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively confirm that David Blunkett is still blind. Mr Blunkett confirmed the findings of his most recent eye sight test...
Animals vote that MPs can’t feel pain or emotion
Following rejection by Parliament of the EU treaty to recognise animals as sentient beings, The Rochdale Herald has learned of a reaction by the...
Three billion seems reasonable for boat with hole in it, says Government responsible for...
The people responsible for negotiating the UK's exit from the European Union have confirmed that three billion pounds is a completely reasonable sum of...
?Britain First & UKIP oddly quiet about white family abusing student visa rules
Quite why the public aren't offended by the white, middle class family trying to buck the immigration system is baffling academics as anti-immigration campaigners...
Druids “fecking knackered” after moving Stonehenge an hour forward
With the season now officially spring, clocks up and down the nations have been moved forward one hour to adjust to British Summer Time;...
Not drinking alcohol only makes life feel a lot longer, confirm experts
Not drinking will make your life feel a lot longer, according to a study that suggests not being a little bit drunk every day...
Ant McPartlin’s forehead to be used as theatre wheelchair ramp as part of community...
There was a much needed boost for disabled theatre lovers today, as a West End theatre confirmed they had secured the use of Ant...
Theresa May smashes transfer fee record by buying 10 Northern Irish defenders for £1.5BN
Theresa May today totally smashed Paul Pogba's world transfer fee record into smithereens after purchasing 10 Northern Irish defenders for a yet to be...
Earl Grey tea is actually horrible, admit people who drink it
A woman from Rochdale has admitted that she doesn't really like Earl Grey tea because it tastes horrible.
Winifred Barbarella from Milnrow (35 and three...
Increased racism was on the other bus say Brexiteers
Brexiteers have been quick to point out that a post-Brexit vote increase in racism was on the other bus.
Government clown Boris Johnson said, "This...
Meghan Markle nominated for Oscar for her portrayal of woman in love with Prince...
As the New Year approaches rumours are already circulating about next year's Oscar nominations. An early nomination thrown into the frame is Meghan Markle.
The...
Josef Fritzl gets Knighthood in New Years honours
Austrian incest enthusiast, Josef Fritzl has been awarded a Knighthood in the New Years honours list. The list, released today recognises a range of...
Queen announces Prince Harry will become King of the USA following wedding to Meghan...
The Queen has announced that she exercise her right to crown Prince Harry and Meghan Markle King and Queen of the USA.
During the announcement...
For Fuck’s Sake, sighs Britain
The entire United Kingdom muttered "for fuck's sake" in unision yesterday afternoon after learning that Boris Johnson has been "elected: new Conservative leader and...
