Clock in car mysteriously right again
There was befuddlement all over the UK this morning after every motorist in the country reported that the clock in the car is mysteriously...
Stonehenge to be knocked down to make way for new Super-Mosque
Details leaked from an article due to be published in the Daily Mail show plans to bulldoze the famous neolithic landmark to make way...
Michael Gove is still a bellend, says Michael Gove’s mum
Christine Gove, adoptive mother of Michael Gove MP has come out saying "he is still a bit of a bellend."
It comes after the failed...
Chris Grayling announces he’s pregnant after taking Covid-19 antibody test
Chris Grayling has revealed he's pregnant after he took the new Covid-19 antibody test.
A spokesman said, "It came as quite a surprise for Chris...
Scottish government urged to act as Edinburgh chip shop caught selling deep-fried HEROIN
Health campaigners in Scotland have urged the SNP government to take immediate action after an Edinburgh chip shop was found to be selling deep-fried...
Torquay becomes UK Hate Capital overnight
A new survey of social attitudes out earlier today has revealed that Torquay has turned into the Hate Capital of the UK overnight after...
Amber Weather Warning follow reports Northerner is thinking about getting big coat out of...
The Met Office has issued an amber warning for apocalyptic snow and ice overnight after a Northerner was overheard speculating that it might be...
Racism cured after white people put black face on their social media accounts
We are pleased to report that racial prejudice worldwide has been solved by white people blacking up their social media accounts. From your mum's...
Queen to greet Donald Trump with narwhal tusk
Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to the UK...
British man who can speak French to be burned as a witch
According to reports the British man who has learnt to speak a foreign language fluently is to be burnt at the stake on Tuesday.
Lord...
Bin man feared dead after ship called Dignity found wrecked off west coast
Fears are growing this evening for a Glasgow bin man whose boat has been found wrecked off the west coast of Scotland.
The man, a...
What do you mean bride’s father pays? Asks Meghan Markle’s father before heart attack
It's been suggested that Meghan Markle's dad had a heart attack shortly after being told that the brides father should pay for his daughters...
We mess with clothes sizing to mess with your heads shops tell women
Leading women's clothing shop owners have said they stock clothes with inconsistent sizing to mess with women's heads.
One leading shop owner said, "We deliberately...
Retailers unconcerned by “Buy Nothing Day”
UK retailers were left smirking knowingly today as momentum gathered for the Buy Nothing Day campaign, being run on the same day as Black...
Hundreds arrested in dawn raids for not wearing a poppy
More than 300 people have been arrested as part of an operation to prevent people who aren’t wearing a poppy to be seen in public today.
Daily Mail demands children be taught anatomy using dead bodies of their teachers
The Daily Mail has today announced that school pupils in England should be taught anatomy using the dead bodies of their previously living teachers....
