Chris Grayling awards ferry contract to Nigerian Prince after receiving fortuitous email
Transport Secretary, Chris Grayling has announced that the Government have awarded a contract to provide ferries in the event of a no-deal Brexit.
Grayling, the...
Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...
Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit.
With many people warning that...
Stonehenge to be knocked down to make way for new Super-Mosque
Details leaked from an article due to be published in the Daily Mail show plans to bulldoze the famous neolithic landmark to make way...
Obvious Satire Still Confusing Idiots, Say Scientists
Researchers at the esteemed Rochdale Community University have published a study today revealing that fool-proof satire is still not fool-proof.
"We gave some angry morons...
Which filthy johnny foreigner should you blame for Covid-19?
All over Britain, McDonald's branches are silent and your gran might die from Covid-19. The PC libtards say this is a result of complex...
Thirty nine bus seats arrested in counter-terrorism operation
In what police are describing as a “significant” counter-terrorism operation, thirty nine bus seats were arrested today on suspicion of being involved in jihadist...
Theresa May gets into Christmas spirit by ordering census and slaughtering first born children
Theresa May has finally got into the spirit of Christmas by ordering a massive census of everybody in the UK and slaughtering all of...
James Hewitt ‘THRILLED’ at Prince Harry’s engagement to Megan Markle
James Hewitt has said he's 'thrilled' at the announcement of the engagement of Prince Harry to 'some sort from America'.
"Many people don't know this,...
Will of the Scottish People Revealed to be Sturgeon’s Imaginary Friend
An SNP insider has revealed that Nicola Sturgeon's repeated use of the phrase 'Will of the Scottish People' is actually a reference to her...
Jim Bowen to be placed in burning speedboat in viking funeral
Jim Bowen, the comedian and inventor of darts is to receive a full viking funeral.
Mr Bowen, who invented the game of "darts" in the...
New royal baby to be called Mohammed and raised gender neutral
The Duchess of Sussex Megan Markle has today given birth to a healthy child after a quick labour.
Prince Harry is reported as delighted, as...
‘One is married to Philip’ Queen reminds Public who think Trump too racist for...
Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.
The petition insists...
White nationalists boycott Black Friday claiming all Fridays matter
A number of white nationalist groups have joined together in a boycott against the post-Thanksgiving consumer event known as Black Friday.
Black Friday has been...
Josef Fritzl gets Knighthood in New Years honours
Austrian incest enthusiast, Josef Fritzl has been awarded a Knighthood in the New Years honours list. The list, released today recognises a range of...
Retailers unconcerned by “Buy Nothing Day”
UK retailers were left smirking knowingly today as momentum gathered for the Buy Nothing Day campaign, being run on the same day as Black...
Brexiteer skydiving team dies in tragic accident after replacing parachutes with optimism
An entire elderly skydiving display team has died in a tragic accident in Essex this weekend after replacing their parachutes with an optimistic attitude.
The...
