Retailers unconcerned by “Buy Nothing Day”
UK retailers were left smirking knowingly today as momentum gathered for the Buy Nothing Day campaign, being run on the same day as Black...
Animals vote that MPs can’t feel pain or emotion
Following rejection by Parliament of the EU treaty to recognise animals as sentient beings, The Rochdale Herald has learned of a reaction by the...
Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus
Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...
Sheffield Council misunderstand the word ‘Socialist’
Sheffield council yesterday accepted they had fundamentally misunderstood the concept of 'socialism'.
Following a vehement rejection by local residents of their plan to cut down...
Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed
Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed.
After five engineer visits, four no-shows and five hours calling BT, Labour...
Outrage as ban on Christmas turns out to be false
People across the country have expressed outrage in response to the revelation that a ban on Christmas has been revealed to be false.
An image...
Muslims should respect our laws, says racist in prison for breaking our laws
Today crowds of nearly a few dozen have gathered outside Downing Street armed with Placards stating "free are Tommy" and two Netto bags full...
Obvious Satire Still Confusing Idiots, Say Scientists
Researchers at the esteemed Rochdale Community University have published a study today revealing that fool-proof satire is still not fool-proof.
"We gave some angry morons...
Queen denies ever having met Prince Andrew
Buckingham Palace has released a statement from the Queen denying that she has ever met Prince Andrew.
In the statement the Queen said, "I've never...
Interflora agent admits to killing Lady Di in deathbed confession shock
Alleged deathbed confession implicates both floral delivery service and royal family in assassination plot
In a shock announcement that has been doing the rounds on...
Rochdale voted town most likely to turn to cannibalism first in post Brexit food...
Success came to Rochdale today as Britain voted and decided that Rochdale was the town most likely to first turn to cannibalism in the...
Town centres full of fat topless pricks for some reason
Town centres are chock full of topless, pasty white fat pricks for some reason according to sources.
For some reason thousands upon thousands of fat...
Fears Thames Beluga whale is a Russian spy
There are fears a Beluga Whale spotted swimming in the River Thames may be a Russian spy. The whale was spotted earlier this week...
Dominic Raaaaab resigns to commit more time to GCSE resit
Dominic Raab has announced he's resigning to spend more time with his Geography GCSE revision.
Mr Raaab announced his resignation earlier today saying, "I've...
Queen announces Prince Harry will become King of the USA following wedding to Meghan...
The Queen has announced that she exercise her right to crown Prince Harry and Meghan Markle King and Queen of the USA.
During the announcement...
Earthquake rescue workers reassured that Wales is fine, it’s supposed to look like that
Earthquake rescue teams from around the globe were told to stand down today after they descended en masse on Neath in South Wales following...
