Car Stuck in snow

Motorist who travelled during red weather alert furious car stuck on motorway for 15...

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There were ugly scenes this morning after a motorist lost his temper having been stuck on a motorway in a major tailback for 15...
Chris Grayling

Chris Grayling awards ferry contract to Nigerian Prince after receiving fortuitous email

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Transport Secretary, Chris Grayling has announced that the Government have awarded a contract to provide ferries in the event of a no-deal Brexit. Grayling, the...

Duke of Edinburgh embroiled in food poisoning compensation scam

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The Duke of Edinburgh is reported to have become embroiled in a food poisoning compensation scam scandal today just hours after being discharged from...
First year student can't wait to get home to tell her pony all about Marxism

First year student can’t wait to get home to tell her pony all about...

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A first year student at the University of Bristol is said to be very excited about getting home for Christmas so she can tell...
Beer

Sad wankers unable to even part a Londoner from his beer

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Sad little wankers have today expressed dismay that their plans to sow fear into our communities and bring about the downfall of society have...
Farm Animals

Animals vote that MPs can’t feel pain or emotion

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Following rejection by Parliament of the EU treaty to recognise animals as sentient beings, The Rochdale Herald has learned of a reaction by the...

Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit

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Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today. There's been a...

Winter 2016 enters third consecutive year

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Meteorologists have confirmed that winter 2016 has entered its third consecutive year. With more bloody miserable weather forecast officials at the Met Office have concluded...
Stonehenge

Druids “fecking knackered” after moving Stonehenge an hour forward

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With the season now officially spring, clocks up and down the nations have been moved forward one hour to adjust to British Summer Time;...
Meghan and Harry

Aggressive beggars to marry in Windsor Castle in May

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People across the country have been delighted by the recent news that one of the UK's sponsored panhandlers has decided to let a wealthy,...

Rupert Murdoch still on course to become Britain’s longest-serving Prime Minister

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With only two days of campaigning left before the general election, polling suggests that Rupert Murdoch is still on course to become Britain’s longest-serving...

New royal baby to be called Mohammed and raised gender neutral

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The Duchess of Sussex Megan Markle has today given birth to a healthy child after a quick labour. Prince Harry is reported as delighted, as...
Rochdale-missile-launch.jpg

Rochdale’s secret Nuclear Past REVEALED

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Shock revelations have shaken Rochdale to its very core as documents from the cold war have been declassified, revealing that the 7 sisters were...

White nationalists boycott Black Friday claiming all Fridays matter

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A number of white nationalist groups have joined together in a boycott against the post-Thanksgiving consumer event known as Black Friday. Black Friday has been...
Drinking Wine

Not drinking alcohol only makes life feel a lot longer, confirm experts

Not drinking will make your life feel a lot longer, according to a study that suggests not being a little bit drunk every day...

Hundreds arrested in dawn raids for not wearing a poppy

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More than 300 people have been arrested as part of an operation to prevent people who aren’t wearing a poppy to be seen in public today.

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