Animals vote that MPs can’t feel pain or emotion
Following rejection by Parliament of the EU treaty to recognise animals as sentient beings, The Rochdale Herald has learned of a reaction by the...
Queen’s Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu
There are rumours today that the Queen's Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu.
A furious Palace insider told us, "It's completely ridiculous. I've...
David Blunkett confirms he’s still blind following driving test
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively confirm that David Blunkett is still blind. Mr Blunkett confirmed the findings of his most recent eye sight test...
Abu Hamza to be welcomed back to the UK with State Visit
Hate preacher Abu Hamza has been invited to a State Visit after Number 10 revealed that they are widening the scope of the unsavoury...
Gatwick drone operators arrested after shootout at abandoned church and ski-doo chase across frozen...
A team of former special-forces mercenaries have been arrested in connection with the criminal use of drones which has caused the widespread disruption to...
Hundreds arrested in dawn raids for not wearing a poppy
More than 300 people have been arrested as part of an operation to prevent people who aren’t wearing a poppy to be seen in public today.
Blitz spirit redefined as refusing to get off bus because somebody has a milkshake
Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on...
Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...
Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit.
With many people warning that...
Jesus ‘probably had eczema’
Jesus of Nazareth may have had eczema, dermatologists have found.
New evidence that The Lord suffered from the common skin complaint emerged following fresh analysis...
Northern woman puts heating on
A woman from the North of England has shocked the country by putting the heating on in October.
Denise Dufite, originally from the northern town...
Queen to greet Donald Trump with narwhal tusk
Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to the UK...
Hurricane Ophelia upgraded to category 5 after northern man zips up coat
Storm Ophelia is battering the UK and Ireland with gusts up to 80mph. After a report of a northern man tutting at a flurry...
British man who can speak French to be burned as a witch
According to reports the British man who has learnt to speak a foreign language fluently is to be burnt at the stake on Tuesday.
Lord...
For Fuck’s Sake, sighs Britain
The entire United Kingdom muttered "for fuck's sake" in unision yesterday afternoon after learning that Boris Johnson has been "elected: new Conservative leader and...
85% Of Waitrose Customers Horrified To Learn It Is A Workers’ Collective
Festive upper middle class shoppers in Waitrose were astonished and horrified to learn that the store is run as a workers' collective.
Eric Pode (40),...
People who go for walks but don’t own a dog are a bit weird...
The Kennel club released a statement this afternoon saying that people who don't own a dog but go for a daily walk are a bit weird, probably up to something and should be approached with caution.
