Rees Mogg

Food bank staff find donation of Rees-Mogg voodoo dolls and pins ‘really rather uplifting’

29
Volunteers at the Rochdale City Centre Food Bank have described cheering up considerably after someone anonymously donated a large box of voodoo dolls in...

Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters

0
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Snobbish man

85% Of Waitrose Customers Horrified To Learn It Is A Workers’ Collective

0
Festive upper middle class shoppers in Waitrose were astonished and horrified to learn that the store is run as a workers' collective. Eric Pode (40),...

New British Sign Language gesture devised to mean ‘Daily Telegraph reader’.

0
Users of British Sign Language (BSL) have adopted an addition to their vocabulary. This is a reaction to a front page article in the Daily...
British Army

Man who’s never met a squaddie shocked army contains right wing extremists

0
A Rochdale man has told of his shock at discovering that some members of the British Army hold extreme right wing views. Cal Low, who...

Daily Mail demands children be taught anatomy using dead bodies of their teachers

0
The Daily Mail has today announced that school pupils in England should be taught anatomy using the dead bodies of their previously living teachers....
Black Stig

Replacing Burqa with Stig costume fails due to ‘wrong colour Stig’

0
As reported yesterday, Muslim women have been on the streets in an adapted version of the burka in an attempt to integrate with middle...

Campaign to crowdfund a copy of Bravo Two Zero and box of tissues for...

0
A crowdfunding campaign set up to raise enough money for a copy of Bravo Two Zero and a man size box of tissues for...
US Military

Trump mobilizes Military to defend against Hurricane Irma with ‘fire and fury’

0
As hurricane Irma makes it's way west towards the coast of Florida, president Donald Trump has issued a declaration of war on the weather...
Paul Nuttall

Britain’s oldest man, Paul Nuttall, has died.

0
Sir Paul Nuttall, VC, OBE, Ph.D, passed away peacefully in his sleep yesterday, hours before his 108th birthday. Sir Paul was the first man to...
Stonehenge

Druids “fecking knackered” after moving Stonehenge an hour forward

0
With the season now officially spring, clocks up and down the nations have been moved forward one hour to adjust to British Summer Time;...
Range Rover

It’s the will of the people – Jaguar Land Rover tells redundant employees

0
Jaguar Land Rover has told employees that by making them redundant they are carrying out the will of the British people. Employee Bill Board told...

Britain’s Children Rejoice as Broccoli Rationed

1
Playgrounds and schools all over the country were full of joyous celebration as Britain's children heard that Broccoli has been rationed. "Fabbolishus!", declared Ryan Whingeing...
Remote pointing at TV

GCHQ Samsung smart TV hack reveals threat to UK

0
WikiLeaks revelations that GCHQ has hacked into Samsung smart TV sets to turn them into listening devices has revealed some fascinating facts impacting on...
Britain First

In search of wankers dozen – story behind Britain First. A two part investigation...

0
Following the announcement of the new term 'wankers dozen' defined as 'a Britain First meeting', the Rochdale Herald has been investigating the story behind...
Colin Firth

Leave.EU tells orphaned bear to “piss off back to Peru”

14
Coming over here, shitting in our woods... A small bear arrived in this country some years ago. The friendly bear, with his old hat, battered...

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