Muslims should respect our laws, says racist in prison for breaking our laws
Today crowds of nearly a few dozen have gathered outside Downing Street armed with Placards stating "free are Tommy" and two Netto bags full...
The Queen asks Merkel to form a government
Her Majesty the Queen is expected to travel to Berlin later today to ask German Chancellor Angela Merkel to form a government for the...
1000’s of tea plantation jobs go as Yorkshire Tea announces it’s moving production to...
There are fears that thousands of tea plantation workers in Yorkshire could lose their jobs as makers of Yorkshire Tea, Taylors of Harrogate, announced...
Rupert Murdoch’s face breaks ageing app
Media tycoon and ancient demonic scrotum, Rupert Murdoch has broken viral photo editor FaceApp, attempting to see what his face would look like in...
Council demolish victim’s home to erect memorial garden for dead burglar
In a surprise move today London councillors have confirmed plans to demolish the home of 78 year old Mr Osborn-Brooks and in its place...
Joy as Palace confirms Pippa Middleton’s bottom WILL feature at next year’s Royal wedding
Buckingham Palace has today confirmed that Pippa Middleton's buttocks will be brought out of storage for the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle...
Aggressive beggars to marry in Windsor Castle in May
People across the country have been delighted by the recent news that one of the UK's sponsored panhandlers has decided to let a wealthy,...
Earthquake rescue workers assured Grimsby is fine, it’s supposed to look like that
Earthquake rescue teams from around the globe were told to stand down today after they descended en masse on Grimsby in Lincolnshire following reports...
Tony the Tiger loses paw to Type 2 diabetes
Tony the Tiger, the face of the Frosties breakfast cereal brand since 1952, has according to sources, lost a paw to Type 2 diabetes.
Mr...
Man that spent last month saying all lives matter furious at 3 million Hong...
A Rochdale man that has just spent a month telling anyone within earshot or on the internet that all lives matter has said he's...
Woman doesn’t dick about with thermostat
A woman from Rochdale has taken the extraordinary decision to not dick about with the central heating thermostat.
Barbara Dickinson responded to the fact that...
Man falls to death after Christmas party gets out of hand
A German national has plummeted to his death after a Christmas party at the Nakatomi Tower in Los Angeles got a little bit out...
Marrying melanin maddens media more than molesting minors
As news broke that Harry and Meghan have decided to quit their jobs to spend less time with their family, the country braced itself...
Treasury seek OAP to sit in baked beans to fund Social Services
In a surprise press release, the Treasury have today revealed a novel initiative to bolster funding for cash-starved Social Services.
In the statement, Chancellor of...
No new ‘Banksys’ have appeared since Rolf Harris got banged up
Tie me kangaroo down Banksy, can you tell who it is yet?
Well perhaps here at The Rochdale Herald we are nearer to being...
We’ll make a success of Brexit, says country where businesses can’t sell things for...
Britain has said that it's perfectly equipped to make a success of Brexit even though shops that sell things for a pound are closing.
Business...



















































