Conspiracy theorists disappointed to learn nobody is in charge
Two Rochdale conspiracy theorists have been telling the Herald that they've come to the conclusion that nobody is in charge.
The pair, known only as...
Suicide prevented with picture of ‘Inspirational Quote’
Clinically depressed Phil Jones, 38, was found standing on the edge of Clifton Suspension Bridge after his wife had left him last Tuesday.
Mr. Jones...
It’s not our fault you can’t afford a house, say Thatcherite geriatrics to younger...
British geriatrics were claiming victory this afternoon in the long held ‘it was better in the old days’ debate against younger demographics.
Research released by...
Wheelie Bin Cat purr-sues new career as guard dog trainer
Lola the ninja feline, from Coventry, was once again discovered in a rather strange location. This time it was in a Romford working men’s...
Facebook Meteorologists Out In Force
The annual outing of Facebook Meteorologists is in full swing. Facebook servers are under severe strain from the pictures of the first inclement weather...
Queen’s festive question for Balmoral faithful
Her Majesty The Queen has returned to the Balmoral Estate to spend time with her family over the Christmas holiday and will be attending...
Rupert Murdoch’s face breaks ageing app
Media tycoon and ancient demonic scrotum, Rupert Murdoch has broken viral photo editor FaceApp, attempting to see what his face would look like in...
May To Choose Baby To Kiss During Campaign By Enforced National Raffle
Downing Street announced today that all families in the U.K. which include one or more infants are to be issued with a special raffle...
Pretentious couple install extra place to pooh in house for £20,000
A pretentious couple from Rochdale have installed another place to have a pooh in their house, for some reason.
Steve and Barbara Dickinson have revealed...
Tommy Robinson hired to advise UKIP members on starting grooming gangs.
UKIP members are cock-a-hoop at the news that leader Gerald Batman has engaged the services of Tommy Robinson to advise on grooming gangs.
"This is...
Bloke donates money to charity without fingering a stranger
United Kingdom - A bloke from the United Kingdom has become the first man ever to make a donation to charity without sexually assaulting a stranger, according to reports.
First Briton shocks Britain First
Researchers from London's natural history Museum have presented the results of analysis of DNA from 'Cheddar Man', Britain's oldest complete skeleton, prompting a spokesman...
