Christmas Children

Only 3,617 parliamentary sex scandals until Christmas

The United Kingdom was very giddy to learn today that there are just 3,617 parliamentary sex scandals left to be revealed before Christmas. Santa Claus...

Fireman Sam denies having ever met Norman Price

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Pontypandy fireman, Fireman Sam has again denied having ever met Norman Price on more than 3 occasions. The denial comes amidst growing calls for...

Bloke with neck tattoo does really, really well in job interview

A bloke with a tattoo of a skull on his neck has done really, really well in a job interview today. Harvey Wallbanger, 22, from...
Man thinking

Dad thinking about thinking about starting his Christmas shopping

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A Rochdale Dad has broken protocol by announcing that he has begun thinking about thinking about starting his Christmas shopping with more than a...

Government should save people’s shop John Lewis says man who hasn’t been in since...

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A Rochdale man has demanded that the Government step in if the retailer John Lewis goes bust. There are fears that the retailer may...
Mum Laundry

Busy Mum of four in TWO-wash SHOCK

Working Mum-of-two Linda Green, 43, sorted, washed, dried and folded TWO full loads of laundry yesterday thanks to the heatwave that has swept through...
Smiling woman

Woman who said she’s fine really is fine

In a world first a woman from Rochdale who told her husband that she was “fine” has turned out to really be “fine”. Genuinely...
Piers Morgan

If you loved the Blitz you’ll love Brexit, says Piers Morgan

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Piers Morgan has told ITV viewers that if they loved the Blitz they're going to love Brexit. Morgan made the comments in on Good Morning...

Bloke in leather jacket thinks he looks cool

A leather jacket being worn by an overweight middle-aged northern bloke is utterly failing to make him look cool. Steve Dickinson’s faux vintage black leather...

Boris promises £350M per week to recovery of British Virgin Island tax havens

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Boris Johnson, United Kingdom Foreign Secretary and all round honest broker, took the airwaves via the Today programme this morning to promise the UK...
Man Relaxing

Man’s life improves after running out of fucks to give

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The life of a Rochdale man has improved immeasurably after he finally ran out of fucks to give. Office manager James Harding, 38, ran...

Arsehole doesn’t know he’s an arsehole

An absolute arsehole is blissfully unaware that everybody thinks he's an arsehole. Dave Bloke, 42 and a bit from Rochdale, somehow still thinks people like...

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