Julian Assange makes the most of the hot weather by opening a window
Julian Assange has spent the weekend enjoying the bright sunny weather by sitting in a room in the Ecuadorian embassy with a window open.
The...
Boris Johnson to be blasted into space
The Government has announced that Boris Johnson is to be sent into space as part of its new space program.
An insider told us, "We'll...
You ain’t no white van man bruv, delivery driver tells Finsbury attacker
The white van man community has been under a great deal of pressure to apologise for one of them deliberately running over members of...
Superdry jumpers are actually a completely normal amount of dry, reveal scientists
Scientists from Rochdale Community University have proven conclusively that Superdry jumpers are, in fact, just a normal amount of dry like all other jumpers.
The...
I’m unlikely to put up with your shit much longer, cat tells owner after...
A 4 year old black and white cat from Twickenham has told its owner Steve that "It's pretty fucking unlikely that I will be...
Clock in the car delighted to be right for next six months
The clock in the car is said to be absolutely over the moon that the clocks have gone forward or back again.
Everybody wondering where the one car with snow on it came from
Drivers all over the UK are wondering where the hell that one car with snow on it has come from.
"Where on Earth has that...
Man gets straw into Capri Sun first go
A bloke from Rochdale is being praised as some kind of wizard today after getting a straw into a Capri Sun on his effort.
Ryan...
Calling people a Black Bastard is a term of endearment, says Ryanair racist
A man who was filmed saying racist things to a black grandma on a Ryanair flight this week has said that calling her a...
Extra hour…or do we lose one? Anyway clock change thingy happens
The half of the nation whose oven clocks are correct swapped places with the half whose oven clocks are an hour or twelve out...
Allegations 15,000 dick pics discovered on Boris Johnson’s Foreign Office issued mobile phone
The Foreign Office has denied allegations that a mobile phone issued to Boris Johnson when he was Foreign Secretary was found to contain 15,000...
Mime artist finds way out of glass box
Mime artists across the world are silently applauding the first ever recorded occurrence of a mime artist breaking out of a glass box.
There was...
