National News

Biologists wielding enormous magnifying glasses today discovered a newt thought to be the world's smallest living thing. This infinitesimal being has been proved by scientists...

A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.  Bill Board told us, "It was last...

A Rochdale woman who has a “sweep it under the rug” approach to the elephant in the room is puzzled as to why her...

A new advertising campaign for Carling beer will allegedly feature Wayne Rooney trying to remember driving home. The campaign has come in for criticism from...

A leather jacket being worn by an overweight middle-aged northern bloke is utterly failing to make him look cool. Steve Dickinson’s faux vintage black leather...

Dozens injured after Chris Grayling attempts to throw hat into the ring for Conservative Leadership Several hundred innocent bystanders were left with horrendous injuries, many...

An angry Rochdale man who swore to friends and relatives he wanted nothing except "maybe a skip" for all the stuff he already owns...

Nathan Barley led calls today for clean shaven white twats to “take responsibility for their community.” “It is imperative, at this time of national crisis,...

Christmas is officially ruined after the managing director of a local advertising agency was caught by his wife bonking his secretary on Christmas Eve. Father...

A group of arsonists have spoken of their shock at discovering that a building they've spent a decade carefully trying to set fire to...

Lard-loving fast food fanatics McDonald's made the announcement immediately following the news that London's sewers have been blocked by vast deposits of insoluble grease. The...

Ducks around the UK have confirmed that they are having a really lovely day and are enjoying the weather. Speaking from the middle of a...