Children Christmas Presents

Thank you for supporting Satire Aid – 26,000 presents worth £175,000

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The numbers are now in for Satire Aid's Big Fat Secret Santa appeal. Together the readers of The Rochdale Herald, NewsThump, Angry People in...
Homeless

Every doorway to get free homeless person, pledge Conservatives

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The Tory Party has pledged that every doorway in Britain will get a free homeless person by 2021. A spokesman told us, "The Tory Party...
Poached Egg

Someone on Instagram has poached an egg

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According to widespread reports somebody on Instagram has only gone and poached an egg.  Rumours are spreading that the egg poacher may have in fact...
Gym

Gyms too fucking busy, confirm everybody

Britain's gyms are in a state of absolute chaos as billions of people descended on them today.  It was standing room only in every single...
Wetherspoons

Brexit riots fail after Wetherspoons opens

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A threat to riot if Britain failed to leave the EU on 31st October has failed after branches of Wetherspoons opened as usual this...
Wetherspoons

Wetherspoons to rebrand as “Special Circle of Hell”

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Pub chain Wetherspoons is to re-brand as the Special Circle of Hell following an endorsement by EU President Donald Tusk. A spokesman for the company...
Man in rain

Northerner goes full day without talking about the weather

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Storm Eleanor has battered the United Kingdom with wind of up to 100 miles power hour, damaging property, trees and causing storm risk warnings...

British meteorologists blame wet August on an increase in cloud storage by Apple

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The weather scientist went on to predict industrialised nations have a maximum of one year before the amount of material stored in the cloud reaches a critical mass of never ending rain.

Woman who tried hummus recently is now into yoga, and expanding her consciousness.

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A woman who tried hummus for the first time at a party recently is now into yoga, composting and expanding her consciousness. Poppy Cox had...

Life is meaningless and everything dies, concludes child on ‘day out’ to historic town

A child from Rochdale has concluded that life is meaningless and that everything dies during a visit to York with his parents during the...

Police chiefs launch captive breeding programme in bid to boost officer numbers

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Police chiefs in England and Wales have been asked to contribute their best and brightest officers to a captive breeding programme due to be launched in...

Young people urged to move to areas with cheaper housing and spend savings on...

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The Government is to tell young people that they should move away from urban centers in order to pay less rent. With rents increasing in...

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