Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution

0
Put your hands on the car and get ready to die. Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...

Labour Party pledge to make it cheaper for young people to get stabbed on...

0
The Labour Party has announced a new policy that will allow young people to get stabbed on night buses much more cheaply. Labour spokesman, Stan...
fire safety experts

Fire safety experts admit fire escapes probably not best place for massive explosive gas...

1
Camden fire chiefs are today red faced at having to admit to missing bleedin' obvious fire hazards in poor peoples' containment blocks on all...

School sex education classes to be replaced by Love Island

0
School sex education classes are rubbish and should be replaced by episodes of Love Island it has been decided. Justine Greening said, "Learning to draw...

Theresa May Fumbles For Pin For Grenade She Shoved Up Her Ass

0
Theresa May is reported to be surrounded by a Bomb Disposal Unit this evening after the discovery of an unexploded grenade inside her ass. The...

Russian Government says it asked Arron Banks to organise a trip to Salisbury Cathedral

0
Arron Banks has said that he only spoke to Russian Government officials because they had asked him to organise a tour of Salisbury Cathedral....
Badger

Badger fed up with receiving ‘Bristle-enhancing Pills’ emails

0
Brock Hampstead, a male badger from the New Forest, has started a campaign targeting what he claims is speciesist profiling by advertisers. "I know that...

It was straightforward shooting not sex, says Prince Andrew

0
Young girls were released into the Sandringham Estate and shot at as part of Ghislaine Maxwell's birthday celebrations, Prince Andrew has revealed. The Duke of...
Queen and Philip

Queen to redo speech after forgetting to say ‘strong and stable’

4
In an unprecedented move Theresa May is to inform Queen Elizabeth that she will need to redo today's Queen's Speech in Parliament because she...
Daily Mail Readers

Mail Online reassures readers faulty fridge wasn’t bought by a white person

22
The Mail-online has sought to reassure readers that it was a slack-jawed, lazy, drunken black man who bought the fridge that started the Grenfell...

Tim Farron’s Andrew Neil interview cancelled for Bake off

0
Tim Farron has been left looking sheepish in his chair after Andrew Neil cancelled the Liberal Democrat leader's interview just moments into the opening statement. Neil interrupted...

Oxford English Dictionary finally defines ‘Brexit’

0
Brexit means Brexit… says Mrs T. May of Downing Street. Her assertion has prompted many people to ask exactly what ‘Brexit’ means. Answers have so far...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts