Snow on trees

Britain urged to get used to winter

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With the annual two inches of snow set to cause havoc across the country again experts have advised people to stop whining and get...

Boris not offensive, simply misunderstood – insists Boris

Posh fop-headed press gob and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has defended the countless insults and faux pas he has made by claiming that each...
Theresa May

Trust me to deliver Brexit, says woman you wouldn’t trust to deliver a pizza

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"I'll deliver Brexit just like I deliver pizza." That's what Theresa May said and people have been queuing up to say that that's Brexit...
Nuclear explosion

“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons. 

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Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.  With launch codes about...
Dartboard

Brexit decided by a swift round of ‘Bullseye’

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It was revealed today that the Brexit deal was decided by the British government and the EC leaders taking part in an episode of...
High Court

Man who murdered colleague who spoke to him before first cup of coffee cleared...

A man who beat a colleague to death with a computer keyboard in what has been described as a frenzied attack has been cleared...
Bank entrance

Remain scaremongering smells likes truthmongering admits Mark Carney following sniff test

14
Mark Carney, Governor of the Bank of England, the place where they invent money, has admitted that remain campaigners accused of scaremongering may actually...
Gin Drinking Middle Class

CRISIS as supermarkets RUN OUT of fancy tonic forcing MIDDLE CLASS to drink OWN...

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The sunny weather forecast for the bank holiday weekend has led to panic buying of certain summer essentials. There have been reports of chronic...
Rubbish in Street

Piled rubbish masks smell of Birmingham city

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Birmingham city council, has for the past few weeks been in the grips of a public sector strike. Birmingham’s ‘bin men’ are demanding fairer/higher...

Rochdale Herald sign former Welsh international goalkeeper Neville Southall from Twitter

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The Rochdale Herald have signed goalkeeper Neville Southall from twitter for an undisclosed fee, that definitely didn’t involve skeletons. The veteran ex-Everton goalie, who is...

Kensington and Chelsea Council crowned Royal Rassclart of the Year

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In a much needed triumph for the under pressure Conservative party, its leadership of the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea has received recognition...
Michael Gove

Britons aghast at realisation that Brexit Bonus is Michael Gove as P.M.

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Ordinary, innocent Britons, along with many who voted Leave, were faced today with the horrendous realisation that the much vaunted 'Brexit Bonus' was likely...

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