National News

The Government has released advice on what to do in the event of a 'no-deal' Brexit. The advice has the catchy strap line, "No-deal, not as bad as the Bubonic Plague". A Government spokesman said,...

Seven times unelected former UKIP leader Nigel Farage has announced he may be in favour of the UK's European Union membership after all. In an historic reversal of his long standing support for the UK...

Animal rights protesters were today up in arms after the news that the culling of Wombles is to go ahead as recent indications suggest they are rife with TB. The rarely seen pointy nosed golden...

A Rochdale man has told of his shock at discovering that some members of the British Army hold extreme right wing views. Cal Low, who fought at Arnhem despite being 2 years old at the...

The children of middle class parents all over the country are celebrating the rest of their holidays by doing paperwork.

Lola the ninja feline, from Coventry, was once again discovered in a rather strange location. This time it was in a Romford working men’s club on Tuesday afternoon showing a PowerPoint presentation to a...

A dutiful family dog has very helpfully informed a sleeping baby that there is somebody at the door. The seven year old Cocker Spaniel made the announcement at about 8pm this evening shortly after his...

Dominic Raab has announced he's resigning to spend more time with his Geography GCSE revision. Mr Raaab announced his resignation earlier today saying, "I've spent 5 months trying to negotiate Brexit and all I've...

As weather experts issue yet another ice warning the people of the North West have told The Rochdale Herald that they actually don't give a shit. A yellow weather alert warning of icy conditions from...

Theresa May has celebrated her victory in the Tory Party's got talent final by performing a podium dance in the front 10 Downing Street. A journalist at the address told us, "I've reported on some...

In an unprecedented move Theresa May is to inform Queen Elizabeth that she will need to redo today's Queen's Speech in Parliament because she forgot to say 'strong and stable'. The shock announcement from Downing...

Scientists from Rochdale Community University have proven conclusively that Superdry jumpers are, in fact, just a normal amount of dry like all other jumpers. The multi-million pound study was funded with a grant from the...

Britain has said that it's perfectly equipped to make a success of Brexit even though shops that sell things for a pound are closing. Business analyst, Twyford Shrub said, "The fall in the pound and...

Royal offspring are like the grown up children who return to the nest once they have completed their time in higher education. You think it's finally over but unlike the Geoff Hurst 1966 fourth...

Drivers all over the UK are wondering where the hell that one car with snow on it has come from. "Where on Earth has that car come from?" All the other drivers on the road...

Longtime liberal anti-peerage system remoaner Steve Dickinson has experienced a miraculous Road to Damascus Moment.  For years local libtard Steve Dickinson has posted memes about how unfair inherited peerages are and how undemocratic the appointment...