The clock in the car is said to be absolutely over the moon that the clocks have gone forward or back again.

The bewildering news to fuck about with what time it is again means that the digital clock that can only be changed by NASA engineers with PhD’s will tell the correct time till the clocks go forward or back again in the spring.

The clock in Steve Dickinson’s Vauxhall Zafira said: “I’m thrilled that I’m relevant again. I haven’t told the correct time since earlier in the year when the clocks went forward or back.”

“There I was minding my own business making sure people were on time when all of a sudden I was making everybody an hour early or late.”

Mandy Patinken President of the International Council for Arcane Arbitrary Decisions added:

“It’s important that we give all of the appliances the opportunity to tell the right time. The clock on the oven has been useful for the last six months, it’s now the turn of the clock in the car. It’s only fair.”

The clock on the microwave is still yet to be set.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.