Leading clowns have issued a joint statement confirming that Theresa May’s latest attacks on migrants and the NHS are not part of traditional clown teaching.
The statement went on to point out that, although she may sport the clothing identified with clowns all over the world and act in the most clownish manner at times, the version of clown-ness that she is spreading throughout the UK is a warped version of true clownmanship.
Spokesclown Mr Tumble said, “Clowns, just like everybody else in the UK, just wish to get on with life and spend their time making as many people as possible happy.
“We cannot sit back while she wears the finest costume and spouts words that will cause most of the country to be in tears of sorrow. I mean she doesn’t even fall over and honk her nose while she is doing this! Ronald McDonald will not be pleased.”
This will obviously be a major blow for Mrs May as we have seen recently that she has made many bold attempts at being accepted as a clown – not just in political circles but in the wider general public as well.
Anonymous sources within Westminster have stated that ever since Mrs May knew that she would be unchallenged in her bid to become Prime Minister she has been working around the clock preparing to be the ultimate clown. She has even been reported to have taken lessons from such high profile recognised clowns as Jeremy Hunt MP.
Examples of her intense training shone through with her last 4 prime ministers question time performances. This was further demonstrated in what could only be termed as the sequel to Liz Hurley’s ‘That dress’ moment, ‘That suit’.
We attempted to contact Mrs May for her thoughts on this but her office were unwilling to comment.
Her spokesperson did, however, manage to squirt us in the eye with water from a flower that was conveniently placed in his top suit pocket