The whole of the UK has united behind the Home Secretary’s decision to deport anybody who squeezes the teabag before removing it from the mug.
People who squeeze teabags have been recognised as a threat to civilised society and the use of the draconian legislation to strip them of their citizenship has been welcomed wholeheartedly by both sides of the house in Parliament and human rights organisations such as Amnesty International.
“Just chuck them out, they’re subhuman monsters.” Steve Dickinson, spokesman for Amnesty International told The Rochdale Herald.
“It’s bad enough that people aren’t using teapots anymore and just making tea in a mug. Now these monsters squeeze the teabag almost dry when they take it out of the water.”
“I’m all for human rights, but I’m not sure these people qualify. We fully support Priti Patel’s decision to cancel their passports and ship them off to the South Pole.”
“Barbara in my office does it all the time, it makes a bloody horrible cup of tea. It might be the worst thing I’ve ever tasted and I’ve tried Marmite.”
“The sooner we chuck her out the better.”