Rupert Murdoch still on course to become Britain’s longest-serving Prime Minister
With only two days of campaigning left before the general election, polling suggests that Rupert Murdoch is still on course to become Britain’s longest-serving...
Busy Mum of four in TWO-wash SHOCK
Working Mum-of-two Linda Green, 43, sorted, washed, dried and folded TWO full loads of laundry yesterday thanks to the heatwave that has swept through...
We’ll make a success of Brexit, says country where businesses can’t sell things for...
Britain has said that it's perfectly equipped to make a success of Brexit even though shops that sell things for a pound are closing.
Business...
Everybody who needs new kidney to get one as fair weather motorcyclists venture outside
The recent heat wave has meant that part-time riders and fair weather Valentino Rossi wannabes are venturing into the garage to wheel out their...
Food bank staff find donation of Rees-Mogg voodoo dolls and pins ‘really rather uplifting’
Volunteers at the Rochdale City Centre Food Bank have described cheering up considerably after someone anonymously donated a large box of voodoo dolls in...
Man thinks totalitarian measures the best way to honour war dead
A Bridlington man has outlined extreme measures by which people not wearing poppies on Remembrance Sunday should be punished.
This includes being subjected to death...
Police chiefs launch captive breeding programme in bid to boost officer numbers
Police chiefs in England and Wales have been asked to contribute their best and brightest officers to a captive breeding programme due to be launched in...
Three billion seems reasonable for boat with hole in it, says Government responsible for...
The people responsible for negotiating the UK's exit from the European Union have confirmed that three billion pounds is a completely reasonable sum of...
May criticised for scheduling Queen’s speech on Day of Rage
After weeks of uncertainty tinged with tragedy, the hard right fanatical Tories have been hammering out a deal with the DUP, which will finally...
MP’s staff to wear burkas in effort to make them less alluring to MP’s
MP's have demanded that a new dress code be brought in for their staff to make them less alluring sexually. It's hoped that the...
Pope to beatify Katie Hopkins after death of her reputation…
The Pope has announced that Katie Hopkins will be made a saint shortly, after her reputation sadly died last week.
Hopkins's reputation went into an...
Authorities launch investigation as Strangeways drops out of top 10 for acute violence
Prison authorities in the North West have announced an urgent investigation into why no prisons in the North West made it into the top...
Great weather for ducks, confirm ducks
Ducks around the UK have confirmed that they are having a really lovely day and are enjoying the weather.
Speaking from the middle of a...
French Declare Victory and Award Medals After Sniper Shoots Drinks Waiter
France has declared 3 days of National holidays after a "hero" sniper accidentally injured two people who were moving cases of Evian at an...
Local hero returns from stay in hotel with both his iPhone charger and toothbrush
A local man is being hailed as some sort of hero after managing to return home from a stay in a hotel with both...
GBBO causes football fracas
It has been revealed that last night's violence at the London stadium was caused when West Ham fans chanted the name of the Bake...
