Amber Rudd announces plan to ban envelopes

0
Home Secretary Amber Rudd has announced that envelopes will be banned from the end of the month. The Home Office has also announced that all...
Air Ambulance

Woman treated for shock after husband checks jumper washing label instructions

0
Heather Todd from County Durham is reeling from shock after she discovered her husband Michael not only reading the washing instruction label on a...

Michael Gove themed garden gnomes to be stocked by Homebase

30
Domestic retail giant Homebase is rumoured to be about to bow to pressure from Michael Gove's employer, Rupert Murdoch, by stocking a series of...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+

0
Dominic Raab has announced that he has completed a very lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+. A spokesman for Mr Raaab told us, "At our...

Interest Rates Dropped From Naff All to Sweet FA

Bank of England catastrophe juggler, Mark Carney, made no change to interest rates this lunchtime. Rochdale savers wondering exactly what this means have had things...
Snobbish man

85% Of Waitrose Customers Horrified To Learn It Is A Workers’ Collective

0
Festive upper middle class shoppers in Waitrose were astonished and horrified to learn that the store is run as a workers' collective. Eric Pode (40),...

Statue of Bristol slave trading Tory MP ‘tripped and fell’ insist police

0
In Bristol, England, police attended a protest against police brutality, during which a more than 100 year old man who posed no threat to...

Church still rich, poor still poor

0
Churches like those associated with Christians and Catholics are still really bloody wealthy a recent survey has shown. The news will come as no surprise...
Checkout

Environment saved and global warming halted as Rochdale man takes own carrier bag to...

Environmentalists have conceded that the environment has been saved and the ice caps are no longer melting after a Rochdale man remembered to take...

New royal baby to be called Mohammed and raised gender neutral

0
The Duchess of Sussex Megan Markle has today given birth to a healthy child after a quick labour. Prince Harry is reported as delighted, as...
Vegan woman

Bank of England to use vegan fat in new £20 notes

0
Last year vegans and social justice warriors, fighting on behalf of un-offended Hindus and Sikhs, absolutely lost their shit because of the Bank of...
Nuclear explosion

“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons. 

0
Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.  With launch codes about...

Patients should only suffer because of politics – Insists Hunt

0
Homeopathic politician and all-round quack-licker Jeremy The Hunt has stated that patients will suffer if planned strikes by junior doctors go ahead. "Obviously we don't...
Dogs die in hot cars

Irony strikes as Dogs Die In Hot Cars die in hot car

Tragedy has struck Burnley this afternoon after the Scottish band from St Andrew's accidentally locked in their tour Mondeo and died from heat exhaustion. With...
Car Stuck in snow

Motorist who travelled during red weather alert furious car stuck on motorway for 15...

0
There were ugly scenes this morning after a motorist lost his temper having been stuck on a motorway in a major tailback for 15...
Heroine

Get on smack if you love the Union Jack – patriots demand you inject...

0
Britain's most patriotic patriots have led calls for everyone in the country to be forced to inject themselves with poppies. The push for proper...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts