Unemployed mother on benefits knocked up AGAIN
It's all over social media that an unemployed mother on state benefits, who already has two kids, is knocked up yet again.
Theresa May says alcohol and poor judgement to blame for Trump state visit
Theresa May has been responding to calls to cancel the Trump state visit during a press conference today.
Responding to criticism that the invitation for...
Twenty two point lead for Tories touts Telegraph
Conservatives clap to celebrate clear lead as misdirectional muppetry
f/makes news yet again after the Telegraph published the definitely not at
all orchestrated and not tailored...
BMW three series usage linked with being an unbearable bellend
A 25 year long study of the people who habitually buy and use BMW 3 series has concluded that they are usually "unbearable bellends."
Previous...
Christmas ruined after husband caught shagging secretary on Christmas Eve
Christmas is officially ruined after the managing director of a local advertising agency was caught by his wife bonking his secretary on Christmas Eve.
Father...
Whitewash of establishment nonces in the interests of the children – says dame
Amber Rudd is set to give evidence to a commons committee on the state of the inquiry into child sexual abuse in place of...
Theresa May to Naked Mud Wrestle Nicola Sturgeon for the Right to Trigger Brexit
British Prime Minister Theresa May is to mud wrestle naked with Scottish nationalist leader Nicola Sturgeon for the right to trigger article 50 to take the...
Environment saved and global warming halted as Rochdale man takes own carrier bag to...
Environmentalists have conceded that the environment has been saved and the ice caps are no longer melting after a Rochdale man remembered to take...
Council has enough grit
A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the...
Writing satire ‘not even possible anymore’
Authors of satirical magazines and websites across the globe have confirmed that reality has now overtaken the worst piss-taking they could ever imagine.
"Donald Trump...
Monster fatberg found in Boris Johnson’s head
A monster fatberg the size of two double decker buses has been found inside the head of rotund foreign secretary Boris Johnson, Trev Panning,...
Chris Grayling awards ferry contract to Nigerian Prince after receiving fortuitous email
Transport Secretary, Chris Grayling has announced that the Government have awarded a contract to provide ferries in the event of a no-deal Brexit.
Grayling, the...
Grouse shoots report sudden increase in children’s birthday party bookings
The leaders of some of Britain's major grouse shoots have reported that children's birthday party bookings are up 100%.
Hubert Chomlomoley-Wearnear told us, "Normally at...
Ant McPartlin’s forehead to be used as theatre wheelchair ramp as part of community...
There was a much needed boost for disabled theatre lovers today, as a West End theatre confirmed they had secured the use of Ant...
Prince Charles urges Queen to visit people infected with Coronavirus
Prince Charles is believed to be privately urging the Queen to visit
Dog walkers foil Brexit
A group of dog walkers in West London found a way to foil what has become known locally as "bRexit" after a dog nearly...
