Sheffield City Council declares state of emergency after residents are forced to have a...
Sheffield City Council have declared a state of emergency after some residents reported taking a bath.
Brightside resident Stand Still told us, "It's been 12...
Cryptocurrencies overtake buy to let portfolios as reason not to have “that twat” over...
Our survey of Rochdale couples reveals cryptocurrencies are now the top reason for removal from dinner party guest lists.
In our extensive survey, which we...
Leamington to become post Brexit English capital
The Warwickshire town of Leamington could become the new English capital following the United Kingdom's departure from the European union, sources close to prime...
Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods
The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district.
Army...
Police force man to remove clothing on Rochdale beach
Photographs have emerged of armed police confronting a diver on Rochdale's now notorious Stansfield Beach. In this most recent effort to enforce new laws...
Arms manufacturers to commemorate the fallen dead
Since 1919, on the second Sunday of November, otherwise known as Remembrance Sunday, a two minute silence has been observed at 11am at war...
‘Just a phase’ movement finally represented at London Gay Pride
In another great victory for liberal tolerance, the much maligned "just a phase" movement will be properly recognised at tomorrow's London Pride.
In between...
‘It’s the Welsh we hate not the English’ claims SNP
The Scottish National Party has released an official statement denying that their desire for Scottish independence is motivated by a historic mistrust of the...
Criminals allowed to break law in ‘specific and limited way’
The Home Office has confirmed that British criminals will now be allowed to commit crimes in a 'specific and limited way' following the government's...
Your Mum has a dildo
Children all over the country are coming to terms with the horrifying reality that their Mums have at least one dildo.
Man who thinks caging children is a good idea says Brexit will be great
A man who thinks that separating children from their parents and putting them in a cage is a good idea has said that the...
Tears of remainers used to put out Saddleworth Moor fire
Lancashire Fire Brigade have announced they're considering using the tears of remainers to put out the flames on the top of Saddleworth Moor.
Fire Officer...
Bin man feared dead after ship called Dignity found wrecked off west coast
Fears are growing this evening for a Glasgow bin man whose boat has been found wrecked off the west coast of Scotland.
The man, a...
People urged to collect this year’s autumn leaves for currency post apocalypse
The Home Office has issued advice to the nation’s gardeners this year that they should be storing this year’s autumn leaves for use as...
Man with plan to carpe the absolute diem out of today now on his...
A Rochdale man woke up Monday morning to his Eye of the Tiger alarm clock, punched the air, and said let’s get to work.
Trevor...
Daily Mail editor accused of Crocodile Tears following Polish migrant murder
The editor of poisonous bog roll manufacturer, The Daily Mail, was accused of shedding crocodile tears by The Rochdale Herald after a Polish man...
