Business

Labour lose 30 seats in boundary adjustment, laugh Tories

The Conservative Party and the conservative government have denied that the electoral boundary change proposals are an attempt to ensure a Conservative advantage. "It's just...
Dartboard

Brexit decided by a swift round of ‘Bullseye’

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It was revealed today that the Brexit deal was decided by the British government and the EC leaders taking part in an episode of...
Sturgeon

‘It’s the Welsh we hate not the English’ claims SNP

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The Scottish National Party has released an official statement denying that their desire for Scottish independence is motivated by a historic mistrust of the...

May sets UK up for long March to Brexit

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Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable. The Conservative party used their parliamentary...

Tube passenger that hurled anti-Semitic abuse says, I was reading the Labour Party manifesto

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A man arrested for what police have described as a "horrific anti-Semitic attack" on the London Underground on Friday has said he was just...

Doncaster couple finally getting some use out of speed boat they won on Bullseye...

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Doncaster residents Bill and Orla Board have been telling the Rochdale Herald how they have finally found a use for the speed boat they...

Britain gears up for Dianageddon

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A lack of Britain shooting itself in the foot and Donald Trump not doing something stupid for a few days has left Britain to...

People that pull statues down to face different level of justice to people that...

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The Government has confirmed that the people that pulled a statue down over the weekend will face a different level of justice to those...

People who start sentences with ‘I’m not racist, but’ are definitely about to say...

76
Indeed, not one instance was found of a non-racist comment following "I'm not a racist, but."
MEGHAN AND PRINCE HARRY

Great start for Meghan Markle as she manages to walk around slowly and wave

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The future of the British monarchy, American Meghan Markle, has successfully negotiated her first official public engagement as she absolutely nailed walking slowly and...

The Shard ‘nearly finished’

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The Shard in London is nearing completion, according to developers. Once finished, it will stand at 310m and will be the tallest building in the...

Lexicographers confirm Jeremy Hunt now officially rhyming slang for idiot.

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Those remarkably eloquent phonetician's over at WANCOff (The Wordsmiths, Arithmeticians and Number Crunchers Office) have enjoyed the last few years of Conservative Government. Over this...
Sunshine

Town centres full of fat topless pricks for some reason

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Town centres are chock full of topless, pasty white fat pricks for some reason according to sources. For some reason thousands upon thousands of fat...
Fireworks

Arseholes unaware it’s not the Fifth of November

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Arseholes up and down the country are unaware that it is not the fifth of November, it has been confirmed. From London to Liverpool, the...

Go Ogle phone App comes with Upskirt as the newest must have photo mode

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The chaps at Go Ogle Apps were quick to capitalise on Parliament's decision not to outlaw taking an unwanted picture up a skirt. The, ironically...
James Hewitt

James Hewitt ‘THRILLED’ at Prince Harry’s engagement to Megan Markle

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James Hewitt has said he's 'thrilled' at the announcement of the engagement of Prince Harry to 'some sort from America'. "Many people don't know this,...

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