Scotland to ban Smack for children
The Scottish government has confirmed that children will no longer be able to use Smack in Scotland.
The move would make the country the first...
‘Just a phase’ movement finally represented at London Gay Pride
In another great victory for liberal tolerance, the much maligned "just a phase" movement will be properly recognised at tomorrow's London Pride.
In between...
Conservatives offer new members discount card at Kentucky Fried Pheasant
Conservative Party Central Office have announced this week that new members will be recieve a variety of benefits including discounts at Michael Gove's new...
Calling people a Black Bastard is a term of endearment, says Ryanair racist
A man who was filmed saying racist things to a black grandma on a Ryanair flight this week has said that calling her a...
Smart Energy may help me keep job – says National Grid boss
The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw, has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to...
Cumbrian Man hospitalised after lethal exposure to Vitamin D
The recent weather worries in Cumbria worsened this morning, after 12 minutes of unseasonable partial sunshine exposed a fell walker to lethal levels of...
Government announces Festival of Brexit will be held in derelict car manufacturing plants
The Government has announced a new exciting celebration of Brexit.
Speaking exclusively to The Rochdale Herald, Government insider Cliff Edge told us, "The festival will...
May must undergo final quest before triggering Article 50.
The Prime Minister faces another Brexit challenge today as it is revealed Royal Assent was not the final requirement to begin negotiations with the...
Rochdale voted town most likely to turn to cannibalism first in post Brexit food...
Success came to Rochdale today as Britain voted and decided that Rochdale was the town most likely to first turn to cannibalism in the...
Women who can close car doors can crash cars too, chuckles Duke of Edinburgh
Palace sources reveal Philip's delight at Meghan's unusual approach to royal protocol
Arriving at the Royal Academy of Arts to attend her first solo event...
Paul Golding’s Prison-a-thon raises £5,000 for The Refugee Council
On an uncharacteristically serious note we'd like to thank each and every person who has donated or otherwise supported Paul's campaign for The Refugee Council.
Commie Corbyn pledges to nationalise your teeth
Bearded Trotskyite do-gooder, Jeremy Corbyn has taken a break from sending care packages full of homemade jam to terrorists, to nationalise absolutely everything.
Clueless commie...
Family dog dutifully tells sleeping baby that there’s somebody at the door
A dutiful family dog has very helpfully informed a sleeping baby that there is somebody at the door.
The seven year old Cocker Spaniel made...
Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP
Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.
London pints to come with free kick in knackers from 2019
Consumers concerned with the rising price of alcohol in the UK received a welcome boost today, as it was confirmed all boozers in the...
The Queen is afraid Donald Trump will leave orange residue all over Buckingham Palace...
The Queen is afraid of the orange mess Trump will make during his visit.
The President of the United States, Donald Trump wants to meet...
