Boris Upsets Sturgeon Over Calls for New Indyref

Boris Johnson today ran into further hot water, or perhaps hot oil, over comments responding to Nicola Sturgeon's view that only an Independent Scotland...
Smiling woman

Woman who said she’s fine really is fine

In a world first a woman from Rochdale who told her husband that she was “fine” has turned out to really be “fine”. Genuinely...
Prime Minister

Theresa May demands everyone gets behind flat Earth theory

0
Theresa May is to urge Tory delegates to get behind her theory that the Earth is actually flat. Mrs May is telling everyone they need...
Kate Middleton

Bloke In A Pub Claims Responsibility For Royal Pregnancy

0
A bloke in a pub has claimed that the Duchess of Cambridge’s unborn child is his, reports have confirmed. Unemployed Willie Eckerslike, 42, from Rochdale,...

Fears Thames Beluga whale is a Russian spy

0
There are fears a Beluga Whale spotted swimming in the River Thames may be a Russian spy. The whale was spotted earlier this week...

Shaun Ryder and Bez involved in major undercover police anti-drugs operation

0
Police have released details of a massively successful anti-drugs operation conducted with the help of Shaun Ryder and Bez. As the son of a...
Shirtless fat man

For f*ck’s sake put a top on, men told

Men have been asked to put some clothes on because they really shouldn't be in the pub half naked.  Professor Gareth Linkeker of the Institute...
Scientists

Obvious Satire Still Confusing Idiots, Say Scientists 

Researchers at the esteemed Rochdale Community University have published a study today revealing that fool-proof satire is still not fool-proof.  "We gave some angry morons...

People urged to collect this year’s autumn leaves for currency post apocalypse

0
The Home Office has issued advice to the nation’s gardeners this year that they should be storing this year’s autumn leaves for use as...

Mother persuades her children to eat veg

0
A hard working mother in West London is so desperate to get her children to eat vegetables she has put out a call for...

Bears cleared of ‘shitting in the woods’ says watchdog

0
The independent Bear Complaints Commission has found that there is no evidence that bears are guilty of shitting in the woods. The misconduct watchdog,...
Wearing Poppy

Daily Express readers to mark start of Poppygeddon with mass execution of celebrities not...

0
6 lucky Daily Express readers will mark the launch of the Royal British Legions poppy appeal by machine gunning celebrities caught not wearing poppies...
Chris Grayling

Chris Grayling awards ferry contract to Nigerian Prince after receiving fortuitous email

0
Transport Secretary, Chris Grayling has announced that the Government have awarded a contract to provide ferries in the event of a no-deal Brexit. Grayling, the...
Man with lizard face

Britain First Announces Pact With Lizard People

0
Britain First, the right-wing political party for twats of all ages, has announced a revolutionary partnership with The Lizard People, a secretive reptilian group of aliens...
The Queen

Helen Mirren to impersonate the Queen during Trump state visit

21
The Rochdale Herald understands that award winning actress Helen Mirren will impersonate the Queen should President Trump's proposed state visit to the UK go...
Michael Gove

Angela Merkel looking forward to going Interrailing with Michael Gove

0
Angela Merkel is reported to be ecstatic about spending the summer Interrailing with Michael Gove. Gove will be Interrailing as part of the Governments...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts