Theresa May Reads A Christmas Carol Backwards To Give It A Happy Ending

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It's one of the most famous stories, if not the most famous, in the English language. It's been made into countless films, plays and...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson disappointed Korean Barbeque wasn’t a book burning

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Tommy Robinson has been explaining his disappointment at attending what he thought would be aa Koran burning event that turned out to be a...

Teenager buys girlfriend a cucumber for Christmas

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A teenager has told us how he believes he's bought his girlfriend the perfect Christmas gift. 16 year old Nathan Brindley has been seeing Emma...

Colonel Mustard blames the Housing Minister in the Cabinet Office with the Funding Cuts

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Colonel Mustard has alleged that the housing minister, in the cabinet office, with the funding cuts caused the Grenfell fire.   The Colonel, wearing a...
Lucky Childless Bastards

Lucky childless bastards book affordable holiday

A pair of lucky childless bastards have managed to book an off-season five star holiday to an empty resort at a cost of almost...
British Army

Man who’s never met a squaddie shocked army contains right wing extremists

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A Rochdale man has told of his shock at discovering that some members of the British Army hold extreme right wing views. Cal Low, who...
Gay Pride

‘Just a phase’ movement finally represented at London Gay Pride

In another great victory for liberal tolerance, the much maligned "just a phase" movement will be properly recognised at tomorrow's London Pride. In between...

Clock in the car delighted to be right for next six months

The clock in the car is said to be absolutely over the moon that the clocks have gone forward or back again.
Theresa May

Theresa May performs celebratory podium dance

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Theresa May has celebrated her victory in the Tory Party's got talent final by performing a podium dance in the front 10 Downing Street. A...

Man who thinks caging children is a good idea says Brexit will be great

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A man who thinks that separating children from their parents and putting them in a cage is a good idea has said that the...
Bearded "hipster"

Hipster twats demand clean shaven white twats condemn terror twats

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Nathan Barley led calls today for clean shaven white twats to “take responsibility for their community.” “It is imperative, at this time of national crisis,...
No Entry Sign

We’re showing some restraint, how about the rest of you try it

44
Like most of the country, the Herald woke up this morning to the news of a catastrophic tower block fire in West London. This...

Corbyn press relationship hits the buffers following Traingate 

Jeremy Corbyn had an uncomfortable day today as he was asked a series of questions by journalists after being caught bullshitting about the state...

Man has bought a really big telly and wants to tell you about it

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A man has bought a rather large and very expensive television today. It apparently takes up quite a significant part of his living room and...
Tube Chat

Tube chat badges surprisingly successful

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Tube Chat Badges given out to travellers on the London Underground to encourage people to talk more are said to be a surprising success,...
Scientists

Scientists confirm that builder’s tea is just tea

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A team of scientists from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that builder's tea is, in fact, just tea. Clarence Tetley,...

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