Sound of Jeremy Hunt flushing money down forty grand toilet replaces Big Ben chimes...
NHS workers and the general public were reassured this morning to learn Jeremy Hunt flushing money down his new toilet will replace the sound...
Tories secure parent vote after abolishing school holidays, weekends and Christmas
Parents up and down the country have thrown their support behind the Conservatives today after details emerged of a radical new plan to abolish school holidays and send children to school for 12 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days of the year.
Jeremy Corbyn pictured laying wreath with international terrorists, arms dealers and mass murderers
Jeremy Corbyn is once again under fire after being photographed at a wreath laying event with a bunch of terrorists, mass murderers, international arms...
White nationalists boycott Black Friday claiming all Fridays matter
A number of white nationalist groups have joined together in a boycott against the post-Thanksgiving consumer event known as Black Friday.
Black Friday has been...
I suppose we better start our Christmas shopping, say men
Men all over the world are reluctantly conceding that now might be a good time to start their Christmas shopping.
"If I start shopping at...
Microsoft worker takes Apple to court
Yesterday, a Microsoft employee allegedly got a dressing down from High Court judge, the Right Honorable Justice Antony Smyth-Tomkinson. The employee who we cannot...
Duke of Edinburgh embroiled in food poisoning compensation scam
The Duke of Edinburgh is reported to have become embroiled in a food poisoning compensation scam scandal today just hours after being discharged from...
Cumbrian Man hospitalised after lethal exposure to Vitamin D
The recent weather worries in Cumbria worsened this morning, after 12 minutes of unseasonable partial sunshine exposed a fell walker to lethal levels of...
Siberia braces itself for unseasonal British drizzle
Russian media is warning residents of Central Sibera that the usually frozen steppes will be be bit damper than Britain all week.
Prisoners in Siberian...
Let’s get this over with Says Queen
Her Majesty the Queen has today told the government "Let's get this over with. I've got a horse in the 3pm at Ascot".
Her worshipfulness...
Daily Express unveils new corporate logo
The Daily Express as revealed a new corporate logo today that it says is more in keeping with how it and its readers view...
Sports Direct working practices review.
In the face of a shareholder revolt, retail giant Sports Direct is to drag its working practices kicking and screaming into the 1920's.
Following a...
Satire writers doubting their future after ‘test’ post gets more likes than most ‘serious’...
Satire writers at The Rochdale Herald have been left doubting their future after a 'test' post collected more likes today than most 'serious'...
More Guardian Subscriptions Cancelled Over Fresh Crossword Slur
Following yesterday's scandal that saw literally units of enraged Scotts cancelling their subscriptions, The Guardian's simple crossword this morning poured fresh fuel onto the...
Mensa exam to be replaced by attempting to sync iTunes
International high IQ club Mensa has announced plans to scrap their famously difficult entrance exam, and replace it with a quest to negotiate Apple's...
It’s a Global Thing, insists Brexit economist
Rochdale financial expert and three times bankrupt Brexit economist Ivana Sendham-Bach claimed today that the announcement that the UK was about to enter a...
