Treasury announces British economy based on booze and barbeques
The Government has announced that the UK's economy is now based solely on beer and barbeques.
In a statement the Treasury said, "The sunny...
John Lewis Christmas advert shows puppy being fed into blender
Retailer John Lewis has released its Christmas advert for 2017 which shows a cute puppy being fed into an industrial strength blender.
The eagerly anticipated...
Recently renamed London landmark Massive Mohammed to ring out for Diwali despite repairs
There will be fewer quiet nights during October after the authorities in charge of the House of Commons agreed to give the recently renamed...
Nuttall pulls out of Stoke by-election
NHS hating, pathological liar and leader of UKIP, Paul Nuttall, has today pulled out of the Stoke by-election after it was revealed that his remaining...
UKIP Needs Image Change, Says Rest of UK.
The UK has today agreed with former UKIP leadership challenger Suzanne Evans when she said the party needed an image change. Preferably to a...
Jeremy Corbyn says Labour will Nationalise RyanAir
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has layed out plans to take RyanAir into public ownership alongside the railways and the Royal Mail in a radical...
Next leaders debate to be chaired by Jeremy Kyle and feature Boris Johnson paternity...
The next General Election leaders debate will feature a new format hosted by Jeremy Kyle. There will also be a paternity test at the...
British vegetarians declare tuna a vegetable for the sake of everyone’s sanity on Spanish...
The Royal Society of Being Scared of Food, which has represented vegetarians for over forty years, declared tuna a vegetable today for the purpose...
Amber Weather Warning follow reports Northerner is thinking about getting big coat out of...
The Met Office has issued an amber warning for apocalyptic snow and ice overnight after a Northerner was overheard speculating that it might be...
Boris Johnson feared dead?
Rumours are rife today that the comical floppy haired Brexit buffoon Boris Johnson may have popped his clogs. It's been weeks now since he has...
Three year old child sits still and shuts up for five minutes
Unconfirmed reports are coming in from Rochdale that a three year old child sat still in contemplative silence for five whole minutes last Tuesday...
Town centres full of fat topless pricks for some reason
Town centres are chock full of topless, pasty white fat pricks for some reason according to sources.
For some reason thousands upon thousands of fat...
Smart Energy may help me keep job – says National Grid boss
The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw, has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to...
Scotland’s oldest man dies aged 35
Tributes have been paid to Gregor McGregor, Scotland's oldest man who died today aged 35.
An angry man with an impenetrable accent told us, "It's...
Scientists reveal 2016 to be a fake year
It has been established by scientists at Rochdale Community University that 2016 was the result of an illegal artificial intelligence experiment.
Herr Dr Professor Doktor...
Prince Harry arrested in Windsor for aggressive begging to pay for wedding
Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police...
