Theresa May to open new Ministry of Silly Bans
Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately.
The job of the new department will be to...
Blitz Spirit redefined to mean allowing a foreign Government to choose your ambassador
The Oxford English Dictionary has announced that it is redefining the meaning of Blitz Spirit. The move comes a day after the British Government...
Theresa May refuses to attend the General Election
After appointing her recently bereaved Home Secretary, Amber Rudd, to take
flack from 'the most left wing audience since a Stalin rally' - Daily Mail,
in...
Emergency services respond to man with spade in head
Ambulance crews were called to an address in Wigan this morning after a local man suffered head injuries.
The man's wife called 999 after her...
Town centres full of fat topless pricks for some reason
Town centres are chock full of topless, pasty white fat pricks for some reason according to sources.
For some reason thousands upon thousands of fat...
‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law
A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear.
We caught...
Annual day of disappointment for fathers receiving crap presents
It's Father's Day and an annual day of depression for men across the nation as fathers are expected to sit, smile and feign appreciation...
UKIP elects Diane James leader
Diane James was elected the leader of UKIP yesterday and has already been causing controversy on account of not being Nigel Farage.
People outside of...
Meghan Markle nominated for Oscar for her portrayal of woman in love with Prince...
As the New Year approaches rumours are already circulating about next year's Oscar nominations. An early nomination thrown into the frame is Meghan Markle.
The...
Prince Harry ruled unfit for work by ATOS
Prince Harry has been ruled unfit for work by ATOS after attending a work capability assessment.
"The Prince was sanctioned last month after he missed...
Dog walkers foil Brexit
A group of dog walkers in West London found a way to foil what has become known locally as "bRexit" after a dog nearly...
Government promises next batch of fivers ‘will be halal’
There was an outpouring of fury earlier this week from vegetarians, vegans and religious groups as it was revealed that our new £5 notes...
Bloke who described himself as inspirational and entrepreneurial on CV definitely neither
A bloke’s glowing description of himself on his CV definitely does not bear any resemblance to observations of his personality, it has emerged.
During a...
Tony Blair has already earned more than you
Tony Blair has already earned more than you will this year and it's only January.
For those unfamiliar, Mr Blair is the most successful leader...
Woman who sweeps elephants in room under the rug wonders why her relationships don’t...
A Rochdale woman who has a “sweep it under the rug” approach to the elephant in the room is puzzled as to why her...
Football team goes one point ahead in Premiership.
Fans of popular football team Chelsea Albion were agog with joy today when the team went one point ahead of arch rivals Liverpool Wanderers...
