Government vows to tackle crime now wealthy are affected
The Government has pledged to start tackling violent crime now that it's affecting wealthy people in London.
A Spokesman for Theresa May said, "When the...
Mob smashing ambulance up fine because it’s the will of the people, confirm Brexiteers
Members of a mob that smashed up an ambulance as part of the post match celebrations yesterday were within their democratic rights according to...
British retail workers thrilled about opportunity to sign on using blue passport
British retail workers have revealed that they're looking forward to signing on with blue passports.
Cliff Edge told us, "Not having a job or any...
Chris Grayling announces he’s pregnant after taking Covid-19 antibody test
Chris Grayling has revealed he's pregnant after he took the new Covid-19 antibody test.
A spokesman said, "It came as quite a surprise for Chris...
Scientists reveal 2016 to be a fake year
It has been established by scientists at Rochdale Community University that 2016 was the result of an illegal artificial intelligence experiment.
Herr Dr Professor Doktor...
Rochdale IT Worker Deletes Human Rights Act
Albert Fudge, a Rochdale based web designer employed by the Conservative Party- has accidentally deleted the European Human Rights Act.
The tech boffin was asked...
Hurricane Ophelia upgraded to category 5 after northern man zips up coat
Storm Ophelia is battering the UK and Ireland with gusts up to 80mph. After a report of a northern man tutting at a flurry...
Nuclear war could be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry
A globally devastating nuclear war could prove to be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry, the UK's Secretary of State for International...
People who ‘say it like it is’ invariably arseholes groundbreaking research concludes
Researchers at Rochdale Community University have concluded that people who "tell it like it is" are invariably complete arseholes.
"People who 'tell it like it...
Labour Conference to go ahead as Dennis Skinner with baseball bat confirmed as security
The Labour Party have announced that their conference will go ahead despite G4S laughing in their faces when begged to supply security.
"We are sorry...
Prince Harry to marry woman he is barely related to
Prince Harry is breaking with Royal protocol by marrying an American actress he is barely related to.
Kensington Palace are said to be disturbed saying...
Prince Harry arrested in Windsor for aggressive begging to pay for wedding
Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police...
Town centre with a load of sheds in it having some sort of Christmas...
A town in the north west has signalled that it is having a Christmas market by erecting several sheds and a large tent in...
Morons wondering why blizzard wasn’t averted by thin layer of salt
Millions of morons across the UK were left perplexed when a thin layer of salt didn't prevent their cars getting stuck in 3 feet...
Sick Home Sec sacked?
Home Sec Diane Abbott has been off sick since cancelling her appearance on Woman's Hour yesterday but has she been sacked?
Jeremy Corbyn was giving...
Northerner goes full day without talking about the weather
Storm Eleanor has battered the United Kingdom with wind of up to 100 miles power hour, damaging property, trees and causing storm risk warnings...
