Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers

0
The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...
Shirtless fat man

For f*ck’s sake put a top on, men told

Men have been asked to put some clothes on because they really shouldn't be in the pub half naked.  Professor Gareth Linkeker of the Institute...
Sturgeon

Autumn 2022 “common sense date for IndyRef 4” says Sturgeon

0
Scotland's first minister has said autumn 2018 would be a "common sense" date for a 4th independence referendum. Nicola Sturgeon continued to insist, however, that...
Corbyn

Corbyn announces Semitic Security Divisions to combat antisemitism

0
Jeremy Corbyn has found himself in a new antisemitism row. The row started following Mr Corbyn's announcement of the formation of Labour Party SS...
theresa nay laughing

Theresa May expected to announce late entrance to this years ‘I’m a Celebrity Get...

0
Prime Minster, and Britain's foremost pterodactyl impersonator, Theresa May is rumoured to be announcing that she will be a last minute entrant to this...

We demand the tooth!

0
Tory MP David Davies has demanded that the most recent group of refugee children, newly arrived in Britain, be taken straight to the dentist.  After...

Champion Shadow Cabinet Minister in U-turn U-turn

MP Sarah Champion, permed badger and former/current shadow Minister of Preventing Abuse and Changing One's Mind, unresigned today in what the Guardian and Owen...

Coronavirus causes charmer to consider condoms

0
Since moving to London, St Cuthbert's alumnus Ben Green has prided himself on, in his own words, "spreading his chutney round Putney".  Claiming to...
Theresa May

Theresa May breaks fingernail as her grip on power weakens

Government manicurists today rushed to Theresa May's aid following a nail injury, frantically claiming it was merely "chipped varnish". As finger after taloned finger...

BBC expose puts police behind Barr’s

0
A shock revelation on BBC Breakfast this morning revealed that British police forces are using fizzy drink to subdue suspects. The footage was taken from...

Cannabis legalisation could mean users run out of things to talk about within 24...

0
Experts are tonight warning that Britain's stoner community could run out of things to talk about in as little as 24 hours. The warnings...

Go Ogle phone App comes with Upskirt as the newest must have photo mode

0
The chaps at Go Ogle Apps were quick to capitalise on Parliament's decision not to outlaw taking an unwanted picture up a skirt. The, ironically...
Medals

Royals exempted from law criminalising wearing of faked military award medals

0
Today sees the probable introduction of the new “Walter Mitty” law, which will make it a criminal offence for any individual to pretend to...
Unhappy Writer

Writing satire ‘not even possible anymore’

0
Authors of satirical magazines and websites across the globe have confirmed that reality has now overtaken the worst piss-taking they could ever imagine. "Donald Trump...
Baby seal

Baby seals used in making of new £1 coin.

0
The bank of England and Royal Mint announced today that the new pound coin that entered into circulation this week is made using the...
Afro

Splendid Afros distance themselves from Diane Abbott

Splendid Afros around the world have taken to Twitter to condemn Diane Abbot for being a complete idiot. Diane Abbot was interviewed on the Andrew...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts