Prince Philip is ‘perfectly fine’ Palace assures public
HRH Prince Philip was straight back to work today insulting foreigners just three days after being released from hospital.
Palace officials were quick to point...
Man who once burnt a Pot Noodle looking forward to another night of shouting...
A man whose cooking skills don't extend beyond pressing the 'start' button on his microwave is looking forward to another night of shouting at...
Every doorway to get free homeless person, pledge Conservatives
The Tory Party has pledged that every doorway in Britain will get a free homeless person by 2021.
A spokesman told us, "The Tory Party...
Electric shock therapy recharges your batteries, says sadistic boss
The boss of a Rochdale mobile phone tech support company, Globally Integrated Mobile Phone Solutions, has been telling the Herald how electric shock therapy...
Prince William criticises social media firms about fake news to cover up numerous affairs...
Prince William has appeared at the BBC and spoken out against the inaction of social media firms. He said in a statement statement that...
Britons Now Incapable Of Making Any Decision Without A Referendum
The majority of British people are now incapable of making a decision without first holding a referendum, according to a study published today.
Researchers...
Northern Dad puts heating on
Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on.
Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...
Herald Editor Appalled by Cross Country Trains As Tea Served in Paper Cup in...
There were angry scenes in the first class carriage of the 9:15 to Birmingham today after a Rochdale Herald editor was served tea in...
Britain’s Children Rejoice as Broccoli Rationed
Playgrounds and schools all over the country were full of joyous celebration as Britain's children heard that Broccoli has been rationed.
"Fabbolishus!", declared Ryan Whingeing...
Clock in car mysteriously right again
There was befuddlement all over the UK this morning after every motorist in the country reported that the clock in the car is mysteriously...
Nuttall loses close personal seats in election disaster
Accident prone Paul Nuttall, leader of UKIP, faced fresh tragedy today after learning that all his ‘close personal seats’ were lost in an election...
Local journalist creates entire article from on line forum comments.
A journalist at a Sheffield local newspaper has admitted that an entire article published in Friday's edition of the Sheffield Councilpleaser was constructed entirely...
Lemming suicide myth rebunked
For many years the myth persisted that Lemmus lemmus, known to you and I as the lemming, would inexplicably hurl itself into the abyss...
Stop calling us liars, lying racist shitsticks tell Microsoft
The Daily Mail is calling for a web browser alert that tells readers that prolonged exposure to its website will turn them into completely...
Britain First blame Foreigner for it being Cold As Ice
We don't care if you've heard this joke before, because for us, it Feels Like The First Time.
Dirty White Boy fan club Britain First...
Wetherspoons strike causes customer to drink 4 pack of lager for breakfast
A Wetherspoons customer has been forced to drink a 4 pack of lager for breakfast today due to staff at his local Wetherspoons being...
