National News

Know Thyself, a charity dedicated to helping older people come to terms with physical changes, is to present Theresa May with a full length...

“It’s like Frankenstein’s monster. You create this and release it there is no telling what harm it will do once it realises it has thumbs. Better instead to give the chancer a Lordship and let him never turn up to the House of Lords. It will be exactly the same as his ‘work’ as an MEP. Put him on a few committees and you’ll never see him again.”

The whole of the United Kingdom are reeling from the revelation that the EU referendum has been responsible for every bad thing that has...

Today small minded people up and down the land were in uproar as rumours that the cheese eating surrender monkeys want the English border...

Conservative Party Central Office have announced this week that new members will be recieve a variety of benefits including discounts at Michael Gove's new...

There were ugly scenes this morning after a motorist lost his temper having been stuck on a motorway in a major tailback for 15...

The entire United Kingdom muttered "for fuck's sake" in unision yesterday afternoon after learning that Boris Johnson has been "elected: new Conservative leader and...

Scottish football fans have said they will up their intake of cocaine this weekend in an effort to demonstrate their solidarity with the Colombian...

The computer that produces the list of the most popular names given to babies each year has thrown up a remarkable result in its...

Facebook couldn't be logged into earlier today after millions of people updated their statuses with things like; "The Prosecco is open! You know what that...

Bearded Trotskyite do-gooder, Jeremy Corbyn has taken a break from sending care packages full of homemade jam to terrorists, to nationalise absolutely everything. Clueless commie...

Details leaked from an article due to be published in the Daily Mail show plans to bulldoze the famous neolithic landmark to make way...

Boris Johnson, Michael Gove and David Davis have won half a speedboat at the Conservative Party away day at Chequers today. The trio were...

Scientists at the renowned Rochdale Community University's Social Physics department announced the discovery of a new energy source today. “We discovered that the heat radiated...

 Amber Rudd is set to give evidence to a commons committee on the state of the inquiry into child sexual abuse in place of...

Patriots across Ingerlaand are furious today after hearing that it's Po Ling Day. “Why we celebrating some bleeding foreigner, eh?” spat Rochdale UKIP supporter Arthur...