That’ll Show Them…
Racists reacted with predictable denial today when faced with the reality that the punishments they frequently recommend for those seeking asylum, immigrants and generally...
Minister of Health and Social care to Employ Doctors From University of Life
Health Minster Stephen Barclay has told of his bold plan to plug the shortfall of doctors within the NHS by employing geniuses from the...
Parents of school age children feeling no sympathy for teachers as holidays end
Scientists have confirmed that parents of school age children across the United Kingdom feel zero sympathy for teachers as summer holidays crash to an...
Workman spotted doing some work on the £15BN M62 Roadworks
The bloke who is doing all the work on the £15BN M62 road improvement scheme has been spotted on site for the first time...
Grant Shapps hires ferry fleet to transport people back to offices
Transport secretary Grant Shapps is so convinced that going back to work in offices is safe, that he has hired a fleet of ferries...
Dominic Raab announces lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+
Dominic Raab has announced that he has completed a very lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+.
A spokesman for Mr Raaab told us, "At our...
Tower Bridge To House Migrants
London readers will notice scaffolding appearing on the iconic Tower Bridge today (Saturday) as the bridge is now closed until December in order to...
Polite man starves to death whilst holding door open for ungrateful strangers
A polite man has starved to death in full view of the public while holding a door open for ungrateful strangers at the John...
Coronavirus maybe more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith warns Government
The Government is warning that Coronavirus could be more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith. The warning comes as the number of cases in Britain...
Boris’ Barney buggering off says barber
In a hair raising exclusive, The Rochdale Herald has discovered the secret to the frankly unhinged character of the Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson is...
Helen Mirren to impersonate the Queen during Trump state visit
The Rochdale Herald understands that award winning actress Helen Mirren will impersonate the Queen should President Trump's proposed state visit to the UK go...
I’ve already wrapped all my Christmas presents, say terrifying psychopaths
Terrifying psychopaths around the country have taken time out from planning murders and disembowelling their neighbour's pets to tell The Rochdale Herald that they...
Bank of England to use vegan fat in new £20 notes
Last year vegans and social justice warriors, fighting on behalf of un-offended Hindus and Sikhs, absolutely lost their shit because of the Bank of...
Scotland to ban Smack for children
The Scottish government has confirmed that children will no longer be able to use Smack in Scotland.
The move would make the country the first...
After blowing 28 million pounds on Winter Olympics the UK grinds to halt after...
Peyongchang 2018 was the most successful Winter Olympics for team GB and just one day after the closing ceremony Britain has begun its annual...
Mail Online reassures readers faulty fridge wasn’t bought by a white person
The Mail-online has sought to reassure readers that it was a slack-jawed, lazy, drunken black man who bought the fridge that started the Grenfell...
