Dog walkers foil Brexit
A group of dog walkers in West London found a way to foil what has become known locally as "bRexit" after a dog nearly...
Rochdale man abandons Marxism after winning £10 on lottery
A Rochdale resident has been explaining how winning £10 on the lottery has made him re-evaluate his position on Marxism.
Shea Bukharin told the Herald,...
New Carling advert just footage of Wayne Rooney trying to remember driving home
A new advertising campaign for Carling beer will allegedly feature Wayne Rooney trying to remember driving home.
The campaign has come in for criticism from...
Queen shows solidarity with NHS workers by only accepting 1% pay rise
Her Maj Queen Elizabeth II today graciously accepted a £6m pay increase in order to show solidarity with nurses and teachers.
"I heard that public...
Environment saved and global warming halted as Rochdale man takes own carrier bag to...
Environmentalists have conceded that the environment has been saved and the ice caps are no longer melting after a Rochdale man remembered to take...
McVitie’s and Walkers crisps back plans to decriminalise cannabis
Mcvities and Walkers crisps have allegedly got behind a backbench revolt to decriminalise cannabis.
Plans are already being made to reclassify cannabis from a class...
Labour MP Needs To Bathe In Ocean
Wanky-named cod impersonator and Labour MP Thangar Debonairre (ironically in charge of modern culture!) was recently told to "Get in the sea," by a...
Man praised for not shitting himself when followed by police car
A Rochdale man was being congratulated today after not completely shitting his pants when a police car followed him round a corner on Saturday...
Clock in the car delighted to be right for next six months
The clock in the car is said to be absolutely over the moon that the clocks have gone forward or back again.
EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…
Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
Mensa exam to be replaced by attempting to sync iTunes
International high IQ club Mensa has announced plans to scrap their famously difficult entrance exam, and replace it with a quest to negotiate Apple's...
Prince Andrew to release sex tape
Prince Andrew will release a sex tape in the cuming weeks in an effort to put to bed any rumours about his relationship with...
Ecuadorian embassy reveals Julian Assange has accidentally ordered a trailer tent whilst drunk
The Ecuadorian embassy have put an advert up for the sale of a trailer tent that Julian Assange accidentally ordered whilst drunk.
An embassy employee...
Prime Minister to help poor by donating fox meat to food banks
Theresa May has today unveiled plans to improve the diet of malnourished children in areas with high levels poverty.
"This is a great policy that kills...
Corbyn announces Semitic Security Divisions to combat antisemitism
Jeremy Corbyn has found himself in a new antisemitism row. The row started following Mr Corbyn's announcement of the formation of Labour Party SS...
North East has nowt to do with us, claims Government
Following a cabinet meeting on Tuesday the government has denied responsibility for the north east stating "we didn't want it in the first place....
