‘One is married to Philip’ Queen reminds Public who think Trump too racist for...

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Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.  The petition insists...

Expat Moans About EU Citizens in UK

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A British expat has hailed Parliament's rejection of EU citizens' right to stay in the UK post Brexit. Speaking from beside his swimming pool at...

Let’s get this over with Says Queen

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Her Majesty the Queen has today told the government "Let's get this over with. I've got a horse in the 3pm at Ascot". Her worshipfulness...

May must undergo final quest before triggering Article 50.

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The Prime Minister faces another Brexit challenge today as it is revealed Royal Assent was not the final requirement to begin negotiations with the...

Rochdale Herald sign former Welsh international goalkeeper Neville Southall from Twitter

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The Rochdale Herald have signed goalkeeper Neville Southall from twitter for an undisclosed fee, that definitely didn’t involve skeletons. The veteran ex-Everton goalie, who is...
Drinking Wine

Not drinking alcohol only makes life feel a lot longer, confirm experts

Not drinking will make your life feel a lot longer, according to a study that suggests not being a little bit drunk every day...

May to offer Britain complete break from Boris Johnson

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In a last ditch attempt to win the X Factor vote tonight,the PM today took the unusual but popular step to separate Boris Johnson...
High Court

Man who murdered colleague who spoke to him before first cup of coffee cleared...

A man who beat a colleague to death with a computer keyboard in what has been described as a frenzied attack has been cleared...
Marxist Bedwetter

John Lewis advert “Darkly Sinister”

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John Lewis, purveyors of things that ultimately no one needs or wants, has made everything better with a darkly sinister tale about a black...
Theresa May

Theresa May negotiates paying full price for a DFS sofa

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Theresa May has succeeded in negotiating paying full price on a sofa from DFS. Mrs May was returning from Salzburg following the most disappointing trip...

Is the EU to blame for Storm Ciara?

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As Storm Ciara batters it's way across the country we at The Rochdale Herald ask, is the EU to blame? Bill Board, Wetherspoons Raconteur. "Of course...
David Cameron

Cameron cronies cry nonsense at cries of Conservative cronyism 

Friends of David Cameron have sprung to his defence today after accusations that his Exit Honours list is an example of cronyism. "Clearly this is...

Dominic Cummings appears on TV to tell plebs to f*** off in person

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Dominic Cummings has appeared on the BBC to tell everyone to f*** off and leave him alone. Speaking to Secretary of the Boris Booster Club,...

People who start sentences with ‘I’m not racist, but’ are definitely about to say...

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Indeed, not one instance was found of a non-racist comment following "I'm not a racist, but."
hiker

People who go for walks but don’t own a dog are a bit weird...

The Kennel club released a statement this afternoon saying that people who don't own a dog but go for a daily walk are a bit weird, probably up to something and should be approached with caution.

William and Catherine’s third child expected to hatch in April

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Kensington palace said the breeding pair were “delighted” to be adding to their lounge and already have two hatchlings: Prince George, four, and his younger sister Charlotte, two.

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