Missile strike in Syria; mass outpouring of grief from OneDirection fans

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Following the disastrous US missile strike in Syria yesterday which claimed the lives of 57 civilians including 11 children, teenagers and young adults around...

You ain’t no white van man bruv, delivery driver tells Finsbury attacker

The white van man community has been under a great deal of pressure to apologise for one of them deliberately running over members of...
Annoyed Cat

Dead mouse on kitchen floor is a warning, not a gift

The dead animals that the cat has been dragging in from the garden are not gifts, they’re warnings cats have confirmed. Fluffles the cat, from...
Mutineers

Daily Telegraph releases images of MPs it thinks should wear EU flag armbands

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The Daily Telegraph has today released photos of the M.P's it says should wear arm bands that signify their mutineer status. The paper says that...

Man still wearing shorts admits his legs are cold

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Tom Hodgkins of Heywood today admitted that wearing shorts in winter is a bad idea and his leg are cold. We caught up with Tom,...
Student Loans Company

Bloke from the Student Loans Company still thinks they’re getting their money back

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A delusional representative of the Student Loans Company has said that he is still optimistic that they might get some of the money back...

GBBO causes football fracas

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It has been revealed that last night's violence at the London stadium was caused when West Ham fans chanted the name of the Bake...

Arseholes planning to ruin Christmas by not letting go of 2016 political bollocks

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Unfortunately an opportunity to have that shit in your family who disagrees with you captive for a few hours is too much for some
Piers Morgan

Self-aggrandising, egotistical liar meets Donald Trump

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Donald Trump was interviewed by self-aggrandising egotist Piers Morgan over the weekend. Morgan, who likes to pretend to stand for traditional British values such as...

Town of Hamelin hire Anna Soubry to rid itself of Problem Gammons

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Hamelin Town Hall has announced today that they have struck a deal with Anna Soubry to end their problems with flocks of Gammons in...
Houses of Parliament

Home Office apologises for deporting ‘the wrong sort of brown people’

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In an official statement released within the last few minutes, the Home office has apologised 'unreservedly' for deporting 'the wrong sort of brown people'. The...

Bloke donates money to charity without fingering a stranger

United Kingdom - A bloke from the United Kingdom has become the first man ever to make a donation to charity without sexually assaulting a stranger, according to reports.
Theresa May

Theresa May negotiates paying full price for a DFS sofa

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Theresa May has succeeded in negotiating paying full price on a sofa from DFS. Mrs May was returning from Salzburg following the most disappointing trip...

53 year old man killed in gigantic pants fire

A 53 year-old man killed in a gigantic pants fire at his home in Upper Wally in Oxfordshire has been described by former colleagues...

Fears of bush fire on Saddleworth moor causing huge smoke cloud actually vaping Hipster

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For three days smoke has filled the skies above north Manchester as Saddleworth moor has been seemingly ablaze, leaving North Manchester covered in a...

Prince Andrew says, I was at Pizza Express checking out Beatrice’s fit friend

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Prince Andrew has today sought to clarify comments he made about attending Pizza Express in Woking 19 years ago. A spokesman for Prince Andrew said,...

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