Michael Gove

Angela Merkel looking forward to going Interrailing with Michael Gove

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Angela Merkel is reported to be ecstatic about spending the summer Interrailing with Michael Gove. Gove will be Interrailing as part of the Governments...

Man praised for not shitting himself when followed by police car

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A Rochdale man was being congratulated today after not completely shitting his pants when a police car followed him round a corner on Saturday...

Grant Shapps hires ferry fleet to transport people back to offices

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Transport secretary Grant Shapps is so convinced that going back to work in offices is safe, that he has hired a fleet of ferries...
face palm

March Against Hate Wins World Irony Cup

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The World Irony Championship has been cancelled for 2017 after anti-Muslims calling themselves UK Against Hate held a march against extremism. “We normally wait until...
Sturgeon

Autumn 2022 “common sense date for IndyRef 4” says Sturgeon

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Scotland's first minister has said autumn 2018 would be a "common sense" date for a 4th independence referendum. Nicola Sturgeon continued to insist, however, that...

Winter 2016 enters third consecutive year

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Meteorologists have confirmed that winter 2016 has entered its third consecutive year. With more bloody miserable weather forecast officials at the Met Office have concluded...
Christmas Presents

Now for something different, our Big Fat Secret Santa

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Along with the very fine and folk at NewsThump and The Southend News Network we have put together what we think could be one...
White Walkers

Army of White Walkers causing delays M1 Southbound

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Drivers and commuters are facing another difficult day of delays and difficult journeys across the UK after a second night of freezing temperatures.  The Met...
Theresa May

Prime Minister to help poor by donating fox meat to food banks

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Theresa May has today unveiled plans to improve the diet of malnourished children in areas with high levels poverty. "This is a great policy that kills...
Bob Marley

Bob Marley suspended from Labour Party over claims iron lions are from Zion

Scandal has hit the beleaguered former political party, the Labour Party, this morning after a kangaroo court voted to suspend the dead Rastafarian singer...
Arron Banks

Arron Banks demands police enforcement of EU data privacy laws

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Arron Banks has taken a day off from calling for Britain to leave the EU so it can be free from the interference of...
Stonehenge

Druids “fecking knackered” after moving Stonehenge an hour forward

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With the season now officially spring, clocks up and down the nations have been moved forward one hour to adjust to British Summer Time;...
Corbyn

Revealed: your top 5 favourite ways to explain Corbyn losing a general election to...

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Jeremy Corbyn is the people's champion and the most popular politician in England, so, just how do the people of Rochdale think he lost...

Dreadlocked protestor’s skin’s sensitivity to climate change successfully protects her from death in custody

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Extinction Rebellion activist deliberately intended to get herself arrested, safely With parts of the nation's capital experiencing air almost as clean as Rochdale's, we caught...

Daily Mail photo editor awarded the Iron Cross

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The chief photo editor for The Daily Mail has been awarded the Iron Cross this afternoon. A spokesman for The Daily Mail said, "This award...

Woman who sweeps elephants in room under the rug wonders why her relationships don’t...

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A Rochdale woman who has a “sweep it under the rug” approach to the elephant in the room is puzzled as to why her...

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