Good Morning

A quick break from satire

0
Last week there was a rather big election in the USA. The supporters of the losing candidate have spent every waking moment since, it...

Tory Party pledges to attack pot holes now it has defeated the disabled

0
The Tory Party has declared victory in its war against the disabled and announced it will re-deploy its resources in a war on pot...

Man has bought a really big telly and wants to tell you about it

0
A man has bought a rather large and very expensive television today. It apparently takes up quite a significant part of his living room and...

Labour MP Needs To Bathe In Ocean

Wanky-named cod impersonator and Labour MP Thangar Debonairre (ironically in charge of modern culture!) was recently told to "Get in the sea," by a...
shaking hands

DUP B.U.N.G. to be funded through NI contributions

British Unity Nationally Guaranteed Treasury Minister Terry Axe announced today that British Unity Nationally Guaranteed (aka B.U.N.G.) payments will start shortly as part of delivering...

Police force man to remove clothing on Rochdale beach

4
Photographs have emerged of armed police confronting a diver on Rochdale's now notorious Stansfield Beach. In this most recent effort to enforce new laws...
Mo Farah

QUEEN defends herself from MUSLIM IMMIGRANT with SWORD

0
According to reports in the Daily Mail today the Queen has been forced to defend herself from a marauding Muslim immigrant with a sword. A...

“I didn’t want to go to your poxy wedding anyway” says Theresa May

0
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, Theresa May, has announced that she didn't want to go to the...
Anger as southerners omit cockwomble from the OFCOM Swearing Top 10

Anger as Southerners Omit Cockwomble from the OFCOM Swearing Top 10

There was anger on the streets of Rochdale last night as "Cockwomble" was controversially left out of Ofcom's Top 10 of swear words. Ofcom, an...

Bishop of Coventry confused over sexuality

0
The Right Reverend Christopher Cocksworth has admitted to sexual confusion, after screwing up a General Synod vote on gay marriage. "I didn't know which way...

Prince Charles urges Queen to visit people infected with Coronavirus

0
Prince Charles is believed to be privately urging the Queen to visit 

Prince Philip to be dismantled following cladding inspection failure

0
HRH the Duke Of Edinburgh to be decommissioned and scrapped after failing Health and Safety tests. Sad scenes at Buckingham Palace today as Prince Philip...

Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods

0
The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district. Army...
White Patio Furniture

Patio chair braces himself for Storm Brian

0
A patio chair in Milnrow is bracing himself for an absolutely terrible few days after news that yet another storm with high winds is...

Campaign to buy McDonnell new calculator raises £65,000,000

0
The public have rallied behind calls from Robert Chote, the Chairman of The Office for Budget Resposibility to buy The Shadow Chancellor, John McDonnell, a new calculator.
Homeless

Every doorway to get free homeless person, pledge Conservatives

0
The Tory Party has pledged that every doorway in Britain will get a free homeless person by 2021. A spokesman told us, "The Tory Party...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts