Chinese cardboard rocket manufacturers report bumper earnings following Korean military parades

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Manufacturers of gigantic cardboard rockets and inflatable tanks have reported record profits for April following Kim Jong Un's massive display of military force. "It's been...
Burkha

MP’s staff to wear burkas in effort to make them less alluring to MP’s

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MP's have demanded that a new dress code be brought in for their staff to make them less alluring sexually. It's hoped that the...
Bored Cat And Dog

Wheelie Bin Cat purr-sues new career as guard dog trainer

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Lola the ninja feline, from Coventry, was once again discovered in a rather strange location. This time it was in a Romford working men’s...
Rees Mogg

Universal Credit cheaper way to kill the poor than building gas chambers, says Jacob...

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Jacob Rees-Mogg has astounded many people by stating that the Universal Credit fiasco is the cheapest way the Government has come up with to...

Edinburgh caught in grip of Calamine lotion shortage as midge season starts

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Insect repellent sold out today as the temperature north of the border rose above zero, Spring sprang and Edinburgh played host to the annual...

Hard left protestors to protest Grenfell fire by setting fire to buildings and looting...

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Members of the hard left have announced plans to protest at the Grenfell fire by looting and setting fire to local shops it has...

Another Russian bloke Putin doesn’t like poisoned a coincidence, confirms Kremlin and Dorset police

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The country has breathed a sigh of relief after Wiltshire Constabulary indicated that they had not had to deploy their counter-terrorism unit, it has...
Sunbathing woman

Homeworkers warned to wear suncream as UK heatwave intensifies

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With expectations that this month's sweltering weather could become the norm a health strategy is urgently required to protect the thousands of people who...
Theresa May

May slams link to Wheat Supremacists claims as ‘ridiculous’

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Theresa May has dismissed claims that she met and briefed Czech Wheat Supremacists during the Cold War years as a "ridiculous smear". According to a...

Microsoft worker takes Apple to court

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Yesterday, a Microsoft employee allegedly got a dressing down from High Court judge, the Right Honorable Justice Antony Smyth-Tomkinson. The employee who we cannot...
Bleeding figure of Christ

PC BBC bans ‘graphically violent’ crucifixion depictions for Easter

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In a controversial move, the BBC has announced it will be 'normalising' it's guidelines for showing scenes of violence, by banning all images of...

Captain Tom finally able to pay Wonga loan off

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Captain Tom Moore is reportedly thrilled that his fundraising has been so successful that he's finally able to pay off a loan he took...

Dead whale found in Thames was Russian spy

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The Government have announced that a whale that has been found dead beside the River Thames was a Russian spy. The whale was found beside...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn pictured laying wreath with international terrorists, arms dealers and mass murderers

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Jeremy Corbyn is once again under fire after being photographed at a wreath laying event with a bunch of  terrorists, mass murderers, international arms...

Climate Change still insisting Donald Trump is a Chinese Conspiracy

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Climate Change has today confirmed that it will continue on its promise to make the Weather Great Again despite the insistence from some it...

We’ll make a success of Brexit, says country where businesses can’t sell things for...

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Britain has said that it's perfectly equipped to make a success of Brexit even though shops that sell things for a pound are closing. Business...

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