US Military

Trump mobilizes Military to defend against Hurricane Irma with ‘fire and fury’

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As hurricane Irma makes it's way west towards the coast of Florida, president Donald Trump has issued a declaration of war on the weather...
Michael McIntyre

Comic Relief to be just Michael McIntyre and a bunch of Russells in future

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The BBC announced today that all future Comic Relief events will simply be Michael McIntyre and people called Russell running around and doing observational...

Man left alone for the weekend yet to put his trousers on

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A man who’s wife has gone away for the weekend is yet to put his trousers on The Rochdale Herald has learned. Thomas Thomas of...
Snowman

OUTRAGE as gender neutral snowbeing desecrated with COCK AND BALLS!!!

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GMP Saddleworth were last night were conducting a full manhunt, as the spate of gender neutral snow beings being cruelly desecrated with a carrot...
Gay Pride

‘Just a phase’ movement finally represented at London Gay Pride

In another great victory for liberal tolerance, the much maligned "just a phase" movement will be properly recognised at tomorrow's London Pride. In between...

Praise for latest ‘uncomfortable’ experience as Ryanair continue Doctor Who themed flights

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Ryanair CEO, and Doctor Who Super Fan, Michael O'Leary reaffirms airline's commitment to the BBC series Budget airline Ryanair continues to work round the BBC...

Man praised for not shitting himself when followed by police car

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A Rochdale man was being congratulated today after not completely shitting his pants when a police car followed him round a corner on Saturday...
Teaching Cat

Wheelie Bin Cat purr-sues career as guard dog trainer

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Lola the ninja feline, from Coventry, was once again discovered in a rather strange location. This time it was in a Romford working men’s...
Football

Theresa May smashes transfer fee record by buying 10 Northern Irish defenders for £1.5BN

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Theresa May today totally smashed Paul Pogba's world transfer fee record into smithereens after purchasing 10 Northern Irish defenders for a yet to be...

Campaign to crowdfund a copy of Bravo Two Zero and box of tissues for...

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A crowdfunding campaign set up to raise enough money for a copy of Bravo Two Zero and a man size box of tissues for...
Vicki Pollard

Burnley ‘model’ swaps ‘virginity’ for fish and chip supper

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A 19-year old 'model from Burnley has spoken of a dream come true after she swapped her 'virginity' for some fish and chips with...

Peter Andre to press Brexit Button

As part of her Key Note speech to the Conservative Party Conference today Theresa May is set to announce this explosive coup for the...
Rubbish in Street

Piled rubbish masks smell of Birmingham city

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Birmingham city council, has for the past few weeks been in the grips of a public sector strike. Birmingham’s ‘bin men’ are demanding fairer/higher...
Wicker

Remote Scottish regions report shortages of wicker.

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Reports are reaching us of shortages of some unexpected commodities in rural Scotland. This follows human slug, Rod Liddle's advice in Der Spectator that people...
Bicycles

London to trial riderless bikes in 2018

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The announcement made at an event in central London. Mayor Sadiq Khan came onto stage to the strains of Queen's Bicycle Race to unveil...
Brexit Bus

Increased racism was on the other bus say Brexiteers

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Brexiteers have been quick to point out that a post-Brexit vote increase in racism was on the other bus. Government clown Boris Johnson said, "This...

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