Countryfile

BBC Countryfile Filming Suspended After Presenter Gets Parking Ticket

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Filming of cutting edge BBC show Countryfile was dramatically suspended last night after one of the presenters was accused of parking illegally. Previously well respected...

Piers Morgan to be face of ‘Free The Ballbag’ campaign

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Piers Morgan has been revealed as the new face of men's rights campaign 'Free the Ballbag'. Inspired by the feminist 'Free The Nipple' movement, the...
David Davis

New train timetables also a massive success, confirms Davis

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The imposition of sweeping timetable changes on Britain's railways for the first time in 17 years has been an unmitgated success, it has been...
Denis Skinner

Labour Conference to go ahead as Dennis Skinner with baseball bat confirmed as security

The Labour Party have announced that their conference will go ahead despite G4S laughing in their faces when begged to supply security. "We are sorry...
Gritter

Morons wondering why blizzard wasn’t averted by thin layer of salt

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Millions of morons across the UK were left perplexed when a thin layer of salt didn't prevent their cars getting stuck in 3 feet...

Chaos at Speakers’ Corner after steaming pile of dog excrement is mistaken for Tommy...

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There were scenes of chaos at Speakers' Corner earlier today after a steaming pile of dog shit was apparently mistaken for EDL-founder Tommy Robinson.  It is understood that the moldering heap of crap, which...

Paul Nuttall celebrates victory with speech outside 10 Downing Street

UKIP supremo Paul Nuttall was in jubilant mood this afternoon after seeing his party win the 2017 election with a landslide victory. After visiting Her...
Shouty man

‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law

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A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear. We caught...

Bloke donates money to charity without fingering a stranger

United Kingdom - A bloke from the United Kingdom has become the first man ever to make a donation to charity without sexually assaulting a stranger, according to reports.

Nuttall loses close personal seats in election disaster

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Accident prone Paul Nuttall, leader of UKIP, faced fresh tragedy today after learning that all his ‘close personal seats’ were lost in an election...

What time is it Mr Woolfe?

Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement...

Labour Party member forced to deny he’s joined a cult

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A Labour Party member who has attended their conference has been forced to deny he has joined a cult. Bill Board has spent the last...
Prince Harry begging

Prince Harry arrested in Windsor for aggressive begging to pay for wedding

Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police...
Rick Astley

Rick Astley gives up turns around and deserts you

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The 80's smash hit superstar and naughties annoying meme, Rick Astley, is hanging up his mic once and for all. After the the shock death...
Rees Mogg

Man with six kids reckons he knows more about withdrawal method than some woman

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The latest Etonian voice of the people, Jacob Rees-Mogg, is convinced that his Catholicism gives him the the edge on some woman Jacob Rees-Mogg, who...
Man in tree with chainsaw

Sheffield Council misunderstand the word ‘Socialist’

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Sheffield council yesterday accepted they had fundamentally misunderstood the concept of 'socialism'.  Following a vehement rejection by local residents of their plan to cut down...

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