National News

With all the scientific rigour of a hippy Merlin with a bone through his nose, the BBC headlines recently included the assertion that the herb rosemary really does help memory. A study, which was almost...

Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police sting operation. The Prince was amongst dozens of beggars on the...

With the annual two inches of snow set to cause havoc across the country again experts have advised people to stop whining and get used to the conditions.  Rochdale Community University's Department of Scrapping and...

Paul Nuttall will be assuming the position of Duke of Edinburgh, following the retirement of Prince Philip, he has confirmed. “It’s the perfect job, really,” he told the Rochdale Herald. “It means I’m in charge...

The people of Tyneside reacted defiantly to the latest so-called Islamic State threat and vowed to defeat radicalisation in all its forms, particularly weather manipulation. Following a recent Daily Express article, in which the reporter...

British pensioners are gearing up for this weekend’s festival of remembrance by remembering their contrived war stories. Many, like 78 year old Justin Case, spent a great deal of the war throwing up, pooing into...

A Rochdale man has come to the realisation he's middle aged after sustaining a neck injury whilst putting on a jumper. Stan Still, 38, said, "I was stood getting ready for work. It's still chilly...

Tony the Tiger, the face of the Frosties breakfast cereal brand since 1952, has according to sources, lost a paw to Type 2 diabetes. Mr The Tiger has apparently been suffering from Type 2 diabetes...

Disgraced mother-of-two Barbara Dickinson, from Rochdale was disgusted with herself yet again today, after eating through another tub of Halloween themed Starmix.  Mrs Dickinson has prudently stocked the house with family sized packs of Haribo...

Amber Rudd was today left with egg on her face after a leaked email detailing a new strategy to combat immigration levels and increase what the government has labelled the 'assisted return' of migrants...

A man has told the Rochdale Herald that he's protecting the statue of Winston Churchill in Whitehall because, "You'd be speaking German if it wasn't for Churchill", before giving a Nazi salute....

In a world first a woman from Rochdale who told her husband that she was “fine” has turned out to really be “fine”. Genuinely she’s “fine’. We didn't believe it either. Barbara Dickinson, 35 and a...

A bloke with a tattoo of a skull on his neck has done really, really well in a job interview today. Harvey Wallbanger, 22, from Rochdale had applied for a job as a cashier in...

Three days ago we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People in Local Papers, BFNN and Tuckered to buy presents for...

Authors of satirical magazines and websites across the globe have confirmed that reality has now overtaken the worst piss-taking they could ever imagine. "Donald Trump has made all my efforts redundant" confides Daily Mash contributor...

London's last surviving affordable plumber has been killed by poachers in Clapham, according to a conservation group that protects a dwindling group of reliable tradesmen in London, estimated to be as few as 15. The...