QUEEN defends herself from MUSLIM IMMIGRANT with SWORD
According to reports in the Daily Mail today the Queen has been forced to defend herself from a marauding Muslim immigrant with a sword.
A...
Muslims should respect our laws, says racist in prison for breaking our laws
Today crowds of nearly a few dozen have gathered outside Downing Street armed with Placards stating "free are Tommy" and two Netto bags full...
London celebrates first “Gammon Pride” event
Scotland Yard and the Met Police are bracing for potential violent clashes at a "Gammon Pride" event being held in London today.
The event will...
Reality of snow destroys childhood memories of it being fun
Thousands of stay at home parents forced to play with their slack off kids all day have had to revise their 'happy childhood memories'...
Arseholes planning to ruin Christmas by not letting go of 2016 political bollocks
Unfortunately an opportunity to have that shit in your family who disagrees with you captive for a few hours is too much for some
Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment
A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.
Bill Board told us, "It was last...
God pisses himself laughing after sending hurricane named for Harvey Milk to wipe most...
God Almighty has reportedly pissed his pants laughing after sending a biblical flood to the most homophobic state in America in response to Donald...
Santa to be denied entry to U.K. under proposed points system
Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system.
A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system...
Theresa May says alcohol and poor judgement to blame for Trump state visit
Theresa May has been responding to calls to cancel the Trump state visit during a press conference today.
Responding to criticism that the invitation for...
Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods
The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district.
Army...
Killer Ian Brady’s ashes shot into space, by most expensive means possible and paid...
Reports have been across all of the mainstream press today regarding the Moors murderer, Ian Brady’s remains being buried at sea.
A shock report...
Prince Harry arrested in Windsor for aggressive begging to pay for wedding
Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police...
Tommy Robinson makes full recovery from racism after being diagnosed with Luton intolerance
Many people are unaware that their bodies won't tolerate Luton. But being Luton sensitive shouldn't stop you from living a healthy, happy life. Whilst...
Woman who said she’s fine really is fine
In a world first a woman from Rochdale who told her husband that she was “fine” has turned out to really be “fine”. Genuinely...
Man who murdered colleague who spoke to him before first cup of coffee cleared...
A man who beat a colleague to death with a computer keyboard in what has been described as a frenzied attack has been cleared...
Nigel Farage leaves LBC for remake of Howards’ Way; Nigels’ Way
Nigel Farage has left LBC and got a job on a new remake of Howards' Way called, Nigels' Way.
Producer Bill Board told us, "Nigel...
