Convertible car owner not as smug after leaving the top down last night

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Sandra Numpton of Heywood has spent the last few days driving around in her convertible Mini Cooper, sun glasses on, hair in the wind,...
PC World

Confused Alt-Right activists boycott PC World

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Several branches of the computer retailer PC World have reported a spike in confused right-wing "activists" gathering outside their premises in protest. The cause of...

Modern slavery greatest evil, says woman who supports unemployed working for free

Theresa May has announced that the worst thing in the world, after Trump's hair and Boris Johnson's gob, is modern slavery. Millions will...

Britain First blame Foreigner for it being Cold As Ice

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We don't care if you've heard this joke before, because for us, it Feels Like The First Time. Dirty White Boy fan club Britain First...

“It’s Warmas” declares Britain

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Are you hanging loads of poppy's on the wall? Is your granny telling you stories about fighting in the Second World War despite only being...
Yorkshire Family

Family of Yorkshireman caught in endless loop of telling it like it is win...

0
There was a relief for a family on the wrong side of the Pennines this afternoon, as a man with a debilitating terminal illness...

Man who thinks caging children is a good idea says Brexit will be great

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A man who thinks that separating children from their parents and putting them in a cage is a good idea has said that the...

Captain Tom finally able to pay Wonga loan off

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Captain Tom Moore is reportedly thrilled that his fundraising has been so successful that he's finally able to pay off a loan he took...
Medals

Royals exempted from law criminalising wearing of faked military award medals

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Today sees the probable introduction of the new “Walter Mitty” law, which will make it a criminal offence for any individual to pretend to...

Recruitment Consultant talking loudly on phone on train sounds like a bell end, agree...

Passengers from both sides of the Pennines travelling on a train between Manchester and Leeds are united in agreement that a young, overly keen...
US Military

Trump mobilizes Military to defend against Hurricane Irma with ‘fire and fury’

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As hurricane Irma makes it's way west towards the coast of Florida, president Donald Trump has issued a declaration of war on the weather...
No Entry Sign

We’re showing some restraint, how about the rest of you try it

44
Like most of the country, the Herald woke up this morning to the news of a catastrophic tower block fire in West London. This...

Torquay becomes UK Hate Capital overnight

9
A new survey of social attitudes out earlier today has revealed that Torquay has turned into the Hate Capital of the UK overnight after...
Air Ambulance

Woman treated for shock after husband checks jumper washing label instructions

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Heather Todd from County Durham is reeling from shock after she discovered her husband Michael not only reading the washing instruction label on a...

Jeremy Corbyn further insults the Queen with massive wedgie

5
By means of adding injury to insult, nefarious super villain and national traitor Jeremy Corbyn went one step lower in his ceaseless quest to...
Buckingham Palace

Donald Trump declares Buckingham Palace ‘shit hole’ and offers to pay for repairs.

1
After a petition to stop the orange Hitler visiting the Queen passed 1.7 million signatures, the tyrannical dictator offered to meet the new President...

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