Britain surprised by arrival of snow for 8,000th year in a row
?Ever since the peninsula of Britain became the island of Britain, the inhabitants have been utterly unable to predict or cope with the cold...
Patio chair braces himself for Storm Brian
A patio chair in Milnrow is bracing himself for an absolutely terrible few days after news that yet another storm with high winds is...
Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people
Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people.
One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...
More Guardian Subscriptions Cancelled Over Fresh Crossword Slur
Following yesterday's scandal that saw literally units of enraged Scotts cancelling their subscriptions, The Guardian's simple crossword this morning poured fresh fuel onto the...
Nicholas Witchell tasered during naked Prince Philip coup attempt
The BBC’s Royal correspondent, Nicholas Witchell, is currently under heavy sedation after attempting to storm the gates of Buckingham Palace.
According to eyewitnesses, the journalist...
A quick break from satire
Last week there was a rather big election in the USA. The supporters of the losing candidate have spent every waking moment since, it...
Labour Conference to go ahead as Dennis Skinner with baseball bat confirmed as security
The Labour Party have announced that their conference will go ahead despite G4S laughing in their faces when begged to supply security.
"We are sorry...
Islamic poppies being considered by the Royal British Legion
Islamic poppies, which would be green, with a white star and crescent, are being discussed by the Royal British Legion.
This has predictably stirred up...
Arms manufacturers to commemorate the fallen dead
Since 1919, on the second Sunday of November, otherwise known as Remembrance Sunday, a two minute silence has been observed at 11am at war...
Prince Harry to marry woman he is barely related to
Prince Harry is breaking with Royal protocol by marrying an American actress he is barely related to.
Kensington Palace are said to be disturbed saying...
Royal baby to be named Prince Kevin. Probably.
Following the news that Duchess of Cambridge has given birth to a bouncing baby boy, speculation is rife regarding the name the House of...
Public in SHOCK as tax avoiding pension destroying charlatan alleged to be racist sex...
Old fat rogue, "Sir" Philip Green has been named in the House of Lords as the "businessman" behind an interim injunction in the latest...
UK appoints man that burnt 5G mast down to plan lockdown lifting
The UK Government has announced that it has appointed a new 'Lockdown Czar' to lead plans to lift the lockdown. Bill Board from Rochdale...
Tories secure parent vote after abolishing school holidays, weekends and Christmas
Parents up and down the country have thrown their support behind the Conservatives today after details emerged of a radical new plan to abolish school holidays and send children to school for 12 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days of the year.
Government announce plans to build new homes for immigrants on Rockall
Yesterday, far off of anyone's radar and while the teacup storm over Jeremy Corbyn's recent train journey reached stratospheric new heights, the UK government...
Satirists across the globe have a day off due to lack of news
The Daily Mash, NewsThump, SNN and The Poke all refused to post content today as world events seemed to have ground a to halt.
"A...
