Theresa May (licence)

Scientists discover creature smaller than Theresa May’s credibility.

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Biologists wielding enormous magnifying glasses today discovered a newt thought to be the world's smallest living thing. This infinitesimal being has been proved by scientists...

The woman who managed to get thirty hours free childcare from HMRC to enter...

The woman who managed to get thirty hours free childcare using the HMRC has been thrown out of MENSA for being “too clever” and...

Quentin Letts launches #StopFundingReasonableness campaign

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Quentin Letts, which is a name you may have heard, without actually knowing what it is, is apparently a man, and not an upper...

Obesity Sugar Tax Only Screwing The Poor By Accident

The government is set to announce its new scheme to combat childhood obesity on Thursday, a scheme that is mostly a tax on high...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson spotted on side of M25 after wheels and doors fall off car

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Reports have reached the Rochdale Herald that Boris Johnson was spotted by the side of the M25 yesterday waiting for a recovery truck. One witness...

Joy as Palace confirms  Pippa Middleton’s bottom WILL feature at next year’s Royal wedding

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Buckingham Palace has today confirmed that Pippa Middleton's buttocks will be brought out of storage for the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle...
Viagra

Sale of over-counter Viagra faces stiff opposition

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The Women's Institute are lobbying  the Health Secretary demanding that Viagra only be available through prescription and after consultation with a Doctor. Recent changes bought...
Beer

Sad wankers unable to even part a Londoner from his beer

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Sad little wankers have today expressed dismay that their plans to sow fear into our communities and bring about the downfall of society have...

Climate Change still insisting Donald Trump is a Chinese Conspiracy

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Climate Change has today confirmed that it will continue on its promise to make the Weather Great Again despite the insistence from some it...
James Hewitt

James Hewitt ‘THRILLED’ at Prince Harry’s engagement to Megan Markle

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James Hewitt has said he's 'thrilled' at the announcement of the engagement of Prince Harry to 'some sort from America'. "Many people don't know this,...
Votey McVoteface

Esther McVey resigns to spend more time with other people’s families

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Esther McVey, a former television presenter and now a falling star in Westminster, relishes her career - but admits to no regrets in her...
Thatcher Statue

Statue of Thatcher on horseback trampling a miner to be placed in Orgreave

41
This week MPs have debated in parliament for the commission of a statue to commemorate the former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. The original proposal of...
Scientists

Obvious Satire Still Confusing Idiots, Say Scientists 

Researchers at the esteemed Rochdale Community University have published a study today revealing that fool-proof satire is still not fool-proof.  "We gave some angry morons...
NewsThump

Rochdale IT Worker Deletes Human Rights Act

Albert Fudge, a Rochdale based web designer employed by the Conservative Party- has accidentally deleted the European Human Rights Act. The tech boffin was asked...
Rubbish in Street

Piled rubbish masks smell of Birmingham city

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Birmingham city council, has for the past few weeks been in the grips of a public sector strike. Birmingham’s ‘bin men’ are demanding fairer/higher...
Hose Pipe Bans

3rd Day of Sunshine sees Hose Pipe Bans Across UK

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As the heatwave currently hitting the UK enters its third day water companies across Britain have enforced hose pipe bans once again. Despite months of...

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