Chinese cardboard rocket manufacturers report bumper earnings following Korean military parades

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Manufacturers of gigantic cardboard rockets and inflatable tanks have reported record profits for April following Kim Jong Un's massive display of military force. "It's been...

Government should save people’s shop John Lewis says man who hasn’t been in since...

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A Rochdale man has demanded that the Government step in if the retailer John Lewis goes bust. There are fears that the retailer may...
Nana

What are your plans for Christmas, ask Mums who have already planned everybody’s Christmas

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A Rochdale Mum who has already meticulously planned her entire extended family’s Christmases has asked her children what they are planning to do on...

Restored Big Ben tests bong to ensure it’s ready for Eid

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Eid al-Fitr is an important religious holiday that marks the end of Ramadan, London's most popular holy month Ramadan is the ninth month of London's...
High Court

Man who murdered colleague who spoke to him before first cup of coffee cleared...

A man who beat a colleague to death with a computer keyboard in what has been described as a frenzied attack has been cleared...
Tommy Robinson

Muslims should respect our laws, says racist in prison for breaking our laws

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Today crowds of nearly a few dozen have gathered outside Downing Street armed with Placards stating "free are Tommy" and two Netto bags full...
Annoyed Cat

Dead mouse on kitchen floor is a warning, not a gift

The dead animals that the cat has been dragging in from the garden are not gifts, they’re warnings cats have confirmed. Fluffles the cat, from...

Tiny Tim declared fit to work by ATOS

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Dickensian child, "Tiny" Tim Cratchitt has been declared fit to work by ATOS this week despite being both famously crippled and fictional. His father, Robert...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip deemed fit to work after ATOS work capability assessment

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Prince Philip has today gone under the knife for surgery on his dodgy hip. However 30 minutes later he was deemed fit to work in an...

Russian Government says it asked Arron Banks to organise a trip to Salisbury Cathedral

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Arron Banks has said that he only spoke to Russian Government officials because they had asked him to organise a tour of Salisbury Cathedral....
Ryanair

Birmingham Airport begins Windows 10 update

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Birmingham Airport officials have announced they've accidentally started a Windows 10 update. The update is alleged to have caused the air traffic control centre...

Prince Harry ruled unfit for work by ATOS

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Prince Harry has been ruled unfit for work by ATOS after attending a work capability assessment. "The Prince was sanctioned last month after he missed...
Hangmans Noose

Tories Include Return of Death Penalty In Election Manifesto

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The Conservative Party has surprised many by including a return of the death penalty in their election manifesto. Explaining the eye catching manifesto promise, Jacob...
Rees Mogg Farage

Get behind my nutters version of Brexit says Jacob Rees-Mogg

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Jacob Rees-Mogg has attempted to counter accusations that he has no Brexit plan by unveiling one so fancifully insane a Texan jury wouldn't recommend...
Boris Johnson

Boris’ Barney buggering off says barber

In a hair raising exclusive, The Rochdale Herald has discovered the secret to the frankly unhinged character of the Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson is...

Turkey escapes Christmas by identifying as a golden eagle.

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A turkey on a Norfolk farm has been spared slaughter after claiming to identify as a majestic bird of prey. "Once I found a tin...

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