Conspiracy theorists conflicted as scientists announce mask wearing protects from 5G
Conspiracy theorists have reported feeling conflicted after scientists revealed that wearing a mask protects wearers from 5G.
Lab Tech, Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told...
Vote leave caught cheating at tombola
The vote leave campaign have today received a stern glare and a verbal ticking off for cheating at the village fete tombola.
It turns out...
Corbyn Calls for Alton Towers to be Nationalised as Queues for Rollercoaster hits 2...
Waiting for hours for the hope of a seat, crushed up against other in the park, or crouched uncomfortably in the queues is an...
Woman who tried hummus recently is now into yoga, and expanding her consciousness.
A woman who tried hummus for the first time at a party recently is now into yoga, composting and expanding her consciousness.
Poppy Cox had...
Parent’s snow day ruined by children’s snow day
Not content with generally ruining your life, kids on snow days are one whinge away from being buried under that patio.
Parent and washed...
Thatcher stole my birthright, says man earning 100k a year
As the 40th anniversary of Margaret Thatcher's first election looms, we met Gordon Ottershaw (49) of Wetherby who maintains Thatcher stole his ability to...
QUEEN defends herself from MUSLIM IMMIGRANT with SWORD
According to reports in the Daily Mail today the Queen has been forced to defend herself from a marauding Muslim immigrant with a sword.
A...
Tony Blair has already earned more than you
Tony Blair has already earned more than you will this year and it's only January.
For those unfamiliar, Mr Blair is the most successful leader...
Corbyn press relationship hits the buffers following Traingate
Jeremy Corbyn had an uncomfortable day today as he was asked a series of questions by journalists after being caught bullshitting about the state...
Future election results to be based on pandemic exam model
Following the overwhelming success of the Department of Education's strategy of grading academic exam results based on teachers' predicted grades and previous attainment levels,...
We want to control our own borders! As long as our borders stay in...
Today small minded people up and down the land were in uproar as rumours that the cheese eating surrender monkeys want the English border...
Satirists run out of ink
Thousands of satirists across the UK and their tens of readers around the world face a crisis as the supplies of ink slowed to...
Burnley Rugby team turn to cannibalism after being stranded on M62 in snow
Motorists are being advised to avoid the M62 after reports of a dozen hungry rugby players from Burnley eating the corpses of stranded motorists...
Britain prepares to spend weekend listening to pensioners contrived war stories
British pensioners are gearing up for this weekend’s festival of remembrance by remembering their contrived war stories.
Many, like 78 year old Justin Case, spent...
Labour to campaign for Liberal Democrats in June 8th General Election
Diane Abbott was resurrected this afternoon to speak to a journalist of sorts, on the BBC.
Ms Abbott used one of her last possible...
Defiant Brit resumes place in queue
Stuart Anderson, has resumed his place in the Borough Market cheese stall queue.
Anderson, 34, told the Herald that he was going to a dinner...
