Wetherspoons strike causes customer to drink 4 pack of lager for breakfast
A Wetherspoons customer has been forced to drink a 4 pack of lager for breakfast today due to staff at his local Wetherspoons being...
Rochdale man sues Ancestory.com after DNA test shows he’s 60% banana
A Rochdale resident has announced he's suing Ancestory.com after a DNA test showed he shares 60% of his DNA with a banana.
He's citing inaccuracies in the...
Autumn 2022 “common sense date for IndyRef 4” says Sturgeon
Scotland's first minister has said autumn 2018 would be a "common sense" date for a 4th independence referendum.
Nicola Sturgeon continued to insist, however, that...
Thousands come together for eye testing
Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits.
One attendee told us,...
Go Ogle phone App comes with Upskirt as the newest must have photo mode
The chaps at Go Ogle Apps were quick to capitalise on Parliament's decision not to outlaw taking an unwanted picture up a skirt.
The, ironically...
UKIP Neighbour in Festive Twat Fiasco
A member of UKIP has made the news after showing the good old, British, Christian spirit: he's built a large billboard to piss off...
Grant Shapps hires ferry fleet to transport people back to offices
Transport secretary Grant Shapps is so convinced that going back to work in offices is safe, that he has hired a fleet of ferries...
Gary Glitter to crowdfund trip to Thailand
Popular paedophile, Gary Glitter is alleged to be considering crowdfunding a trip to Thailand for when he gets out of prison.
A spokesperson said, "The...
Asking not to be felt up at work is hardly a takeover, sigh women
As several leading Princes amongst Men like Charles Moore of the Telegraph and pre-Prince frogs like Quentin Letts recommend women lighten up, share power...
Bloke with neck tattoo does really, really well in job interview
A bloke with a tattoo of a skull on his neck has done really, really well in a job interview today.
Harvey Wallbanger, 22, from...
Treasury seek OAP to sit in baked beans to fund Social Services
In a surprise press release, the Treasury have today revealed a novel initiative to bolster funding for cash-starved Social Services.
In the statement, Chancellor of...
May criticised for scheduling Queen’s speech on Day of Rage
After weeks of uncertainty tinged with tragedy, the hard right fanatical Tories have been hammering out a deal with the DUP, which will finally...
‘Fuck equality’ says equalities boss
The chairman of the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) David Isaac made the comment earlier this week;
"Everyone is equal and all religions should be...
Everybody wondering where the one car with snow on it came from
Drivers all over the UK are wondering where the hell that one car with snow on it has come from.
"Where on Earth has that...
People who ‘say it like it is’ invariably arseholes groundbreaking research concludes
Researchers at Rochdale Community University have concluded that people who "tell it like it is" are invariably complete arseholes.
"People who 'tell it like it...
Farage performs volte-face on Europe after Trump-May love in
Seven times unelected former UKIP leader Nigel Farage has announced he may be in favour of the UK's European Union membership after all.
In an...
