Tony Blair

We must reverse historic mistake, says irreversible historic mistake

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Everyone in the world looked at each other and asked "what the hell" yesterday after the temerity of a former political leader's comments on...

We didn’t hack Paul Nuttall claims hacker group Anonymous

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"We didn't hack Paul Nuttall" claims anarchistic hacker group Anonymous, as they moved to deny claims that it had hacked the UKIP leader and...

Britons Now Incapable Of Making Any Decision Without A Referendum

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The majority of British people are now incapable of making a decision without first holding a referendum, according to a study published today. Researchers...
Farage in Russian hat

Nigel Farage denies any links to Russia

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Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has appeared on BBC Breakfast TV to deny any links to the Russian Government. In an interview Mr Farage MP...

Warning issued after teetotal vegan non-smoker bores himself to death

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Fresh concerns have been raised over the safety of healthy lifestyles after a study found that people following them invariably die eventually anyway. A team...
Lazy Cat

Catlike powers wasted on cats

According to research at the institute of institutes catlike powers are absolutely wasted on cats. Researchers have discovered that despite having incredible superpower like abilities...
Confused Man

Men to celebrate International Men’s Day by having no idea that it’s International Men’s...

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Men across the globe will celebrate International Men's Day today by being completely oblivious to the fact that it's International Men's Day. The annual event,...

1st of January 2017 to start with Bobby Ewing taking a shower

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World leaders, academics, leading  scientists and philosophers made the decision at a secret summit in Denver Colardo yesterday. Simon Johnson, a leading Economist and auther...
Queen and Philip

Queen to redo speech after forgetting to say ‘strong and stable’

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In an unprecedented move Theresa May is to inform Queen Elizabeth that she will need to redo today's Queen's Speech in Parliament because she...

Britain First’s Paul Golding and the EDL’s Ian Crossland announce engagement

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Shock today as Britain First leader Paul Golding announced he is to marry EDL chief, Ian Crossland. Although the pair often claim to support gay...

Satirists run out of ink

Thousands of satirists across the UK and their tens of readers around the world face a crisis as the supplies of ink slowed to...

SAS chiefs approach Liberal Democrats for tips on staying out of sight.

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It has been revealed today that bosses of the Special Air Service, or SAS, the British special forces, attempted to contact the Liberal Democrat...
Walking Holiday

Swiss banks confirm Theresa May’s walking holiday was great for business

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"Normally we only get foreign potentates, third world dictators, drug magnates and the odd closet Nazi holidaying here," said Herman Gnom, spokesman for Zurich's Lavamatbank explaining that footage of a genuine prime minister - even one with no majority, no mandate and about to be deposed by her own party has been a huge boost for Swiss banks' credibility.

Brits shocked that Brexit is getting the blame for everything

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The whole of the United Kingdom are reeling from the revelation that the EU referendum has been responsible for every bad thing that has...

Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers

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The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...

Teenager buys girlfriend a cucumber for Christmas

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A teenager has told us how he believes he's bought his girlfriend the perfect Christmas gift. 16 year old Nathan Brindley has been seeing Emma...

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