Green Cross Code Man killed in hit and run tragedy
The Green Cross Code Man has been killed in Rochdale in a terribly ironic tragedy involving a silent Ocado electric delivery van and a mobile phone.
Patients should only suffer because of politics – Insists Hunt
Homeopathic politician and all-round quack-licker Jeremy The Hunt has stated that patients will suffer if planned strikes by junior doctors go ahead.
"Obviously we don't...
Statue of Bristol slave trading Tory MP ‘tripped and fell’ insist police
In Bristol, England, police attended a protest against police brutality, during which a more than 100 year old man who posed no threat to...
Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus
Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...
Royal baby to be named Prince Kevin. Probably.
Following the news that Duchess of Cambridge has given birth to a bouncing baby boy, speculation is rife regarding the name the House of...
Paul Golding Christmas Carol
Jingle Bells
My cell smells
It's gloomy and its rank
I only pissed some Muslims off
Now I'm sitting in the tank. Hey
Jingle Bells
This is hell
I don't think...
Rochdale Herald Editor knighted in New Year’s Honours List
The editor of the Rochdale Herald, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been knighted for services to fake news. Mr Fortesqueue, 58, said he was delighted...
It’s a bit windy out
People all over the UK who have ears and access to either a door or a window have confirmed that it's a bit windy...
Change of fart for Donald
Leading language experts are calling for a change in the classification of the word 'trump'.
Traditionally, it has been used as:
a term for flatulence
...
Man who once burnt a Pot Noodle looking forward to another night of shouting...
A man whose cooking skills don't extend beyond pressing the 'start' button on his microwave is looking forward to another night of shouting at...
Emergency services respond to man with spade in head
Ambulance crews were called to an address in Wigan this morning after a local man suffered head injuries.
The man's wife called 999 after her...
Parents of nativity play’s King Herod unsure what this says about their parenting
A Rochdale teacher has been telling the Herald about how this year's school nativity has been dogged by endless controversy.
The teacher, who asked not...
Prince Philip says secret to easy life is having somebody to iron your socks
Everyone is always talking about the youthful composure of our national treasure Prince Phillip. Now his retirement has been announced, the spritely Greek has...
“Your dad is a horrible man”, says man yelling at child because he doesn’t...
A middle aged man has today made another middle aged man aware that he doesn't like him by standing outside the man's home and...
Sex education in primary schools should be banned, says Burnley gran, 19
Sex education has been given the thumbs down by Burnley gran Ellie-Mae-Leigh Horne. 19 year old Ellie-Mae-Leigh, whose eldest daughter Chelsea-Leigh has just given...
Chilcot stuns world with news that Pope is catholic
Sir John Chilcot has stunned the world by stating again that the Pope is catholic and so it seems is Britain's greatest wartime leader...
