There’s nothing more Christmassy than seeing German Terrorist fall out of window, confirm men
Men around the world have confirmed that it's not Christmas until they have seen either a German terrorist or a half naked prostitute fall...
Queen denies ever having met Prince Andrew
Buckingham Palace has released a statement from the Queen denying that she has ever met Prince Andrew.
In the statement the Queen said, "I've never...
Labour reports sophisticated cyberattack after Jeremy Corbyn’s MySpace account is hacked
The Labour Party has announced that it has been the subject of a cyberattack today.
A spokesman told us, "We first became aware of the...
‘It’s the Welsh we hate not the English’ claims SNP
The Scottish National Party has released an official statement denying that their desire for Scottish independence is motivated by a historic mistrust of the...
Leave.EU tells orphaned bear to “piss off back to Peru”
Coming over here, shitting in our woods...
A small bear arrived in this country some years ago. The friendly bear, with his old hat, battered...
McVities recall 100,000 packets of Hobnobs after putting chocolate on wrong side
Biscuit giant McVities have issued an urgent product recall of their chocolate hobnob range, after it was found that a recent batch of the...
Labour forced to suspend MP Jared O’Mara after it was revealed he considers Jaffa...
Sheffield MP Jared O’Mara has found himself in extremely hot water today as fresh evidence of controversial views and opinions have been found on...
Statue of Bristol slave trading Tory MP ‘tripped and fell’ insist police
In Bristol, England, police attended a protest against police brutality, during which a more than 100 year old man who posed no threat to...
Shoppers rejoice as bendy bananas sneak back into supermarkets after Commons vote
UK shoppers were in ecstasy as bendy bananas made a comeback into British supermarkets following Parliament’s decision to allow Prime Minister Theresa May to...
Everyone on Facebook expert in analytical chemistry all of a sudden
Everyone on Facebook is now an expert in analytical chemistry it has been revealed.
The news comes after scientists at Porton Down revealed that they...
BBC bans presenters saying “Happy Holidays” because it offends Christians
The BBC has banned presenters from using the term, "Happy Holidays" as it offends Christians.
Rochdale resident Stan Still told us, "This is PC rubbish...
Corbyn press relationship hits the buffers following Traingate
Jeremy Corbyn had an uncomfortable day today as he was asked a series of questions by journalists after being caught bullshitting about the state...
Council has enough grit
A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the...
Husband remembers to put recycling bin out on right day
In a stunning feat of memory and dazzling competence a husband from Rochdale has managed to put the right bin out on the right...
Prince Philip is ‘perfectly fine’ Palace assures public
HRH Prince Philip was straight back to work today insulting foreigners just three days after being released from hospital.
Palace officials were quick to point...
Ed Millibland’s Tombstone to be Used for Thousands of Homes
The polls that are currently condemning Jeremy Corbyn to fail once predicted success for the socially inept, humanoid shaped play doh figure, Ed Millibland.
It's...
