Angry northerner rises up against culture of Fake Brews

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A Lancastrian man fed up with the culture of 'fake brews' currently sweeping the nation has took it upon himself to show the masses...

Polite man starves to death whilst holding door open for ungrateful strangers

A polite man has starved to death in full view of the public while holding a door open for ungrateful strangers at the John...

Abu Hamza to be welcomed back to the UK with State Visit

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Hate preacher Abu Hamza has been invited to a State Visit after Number 10 revealed that they are widening the scope of the unsavoury...
Ant and Dec

Ant and Dec to host Coronavirus Daily Update

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Following the news that The Daily Coronavirus Update is losing viewers faster than America is running out of MolotovCocktails, BBC producers have paid an undisclosed...

Private rail company owner and Blairite totally unbiased about Traingate

Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson said today that claims that he has it in for rail nationalisation enthusiast Jeremy Corbyn are unfounded. The gazillionaire, famous...
Heating on

Northern Dad puts heating on

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Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on. Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...
Stonehenge

Druids “fecking knackered” after moving Stonehenge an hour forward

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With the season now officially spring, clocks up and down the nations have been moved forward one hour to adjust to British Summer Time;...
Tube Chat

Tube chat badges surprisingly successful

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Tube Chat Badges given out to travellers on the London Underground to encourage people to talk more are said to be a surprising success,...
Theresa May

Theresa May performs celebratory podium dance

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Theresa May has celebrated her victory in the Tory Party's got talent final by performing a podium dance in the front 10 Downing Street. A...

“Your dad is a horrible man”, says man yelling at child because he doesn’t...

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A middle aged man has today made another middle aged man aware that he doesn't like him by standing outside the man's home and...

Unemployed layabout doesn’t want £350m a year job shaking hands and waving

27
The people of the United Kingdom were reassured this morning by Prince Harry's statement that he does not want to be king and will...

Rochdale assassination attempt foiled by rail replacement bus service

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A Russian assassination team who were tasked with assassinating an ex-spy In Rochdale were foiled by a rail replacement bus service and a strike...
McDonald's

Life expectancy soars in Wolverhampton after McDonalds strike for 2 days

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Experts say that life expectancy in Wolverhampton has soared after the McDonalds on Dudley Street was closed on Monday and Tuesday due to strike...

Band Aid 2016 to raise Buckingham Palace repair costs

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A new version of 'Do they Know is Christmas?' has been released in time for the Christmas number one top spot. The track by Bob...

Doing Right Thing Would Set Dangerous Precedent, Says Prime Minister

Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that she won't intervene in David Cameron's scheme to reward all his mates with Honours. "Listen here," said an...
Fireworks

Arseholes unaware it’s not the Fifth of November

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Arseholes up and down the country are unaware that it is not the fifth of November, it has been confirmed. From London to Liverpool, the...

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