Larry the Downing Street Cat responds to allegations of sexual misconduct: These stories are...
Disgraced veteran mouser Larry the Downing Street Cat on Friday admitted to allegations of sexual misconduct that were levelled against him earlier in the...
Labour lose 30 seats in boundary adjustment, laugh Tories
The Conservative Party and the conservative government have denied that the electoral boundary change proposals are an attempt to ensure a Conservative advantage.
"It's just...
Christmas moved to November 12th
Theresa May's government yesterday announced plans to move Christmas forward this year to November the 12th, just in case we don't all reach December.
The...
Theresa May to open new Ministry of Silly Bans
Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately.
The job of the new department will be to...
“I didn’t want to go to your poxy wedding anyway” says Theresa May
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, Theresa May, has announced that she didn't want to go to the...
Prince Philip disappointed not to get his own sparkly hat
The Duke of Edinburgh’s retirement is entirely down to one thing, it would seem. Speculation has been rife ever since the announcement, but now...
M&Ms Sharing packs to be renamed Who Are You To Judge Me packs
Chocolate mega-conglomerate Mars have confirmed they are renaming 'Share' packs to more accurately reflect their customers' selfish, secretive consumption style.
Advertising campaigns for the larger...
Captain Tom finally able to pay Wonga loan off
Captain Tom Moore is reportedly thrilled that his fundraising has been so successful that he's finally able to pay off a loan he took...
Digging f#*#*#g foxholes is new black in today’s British Army
The humble British Army entrenching tool, a short, squat, folding standard NATO issued 3-way shovel, pick and close combat weapon, has surged in popularity amongst...
We mess with clothes sizing to mess with your heads shops tell women
Leading women's clothing shop owners have said they stock clothes with inconsistent sizing to mess with women's heads.
One leading shop owner said, "We deliberately...
Tommy Robinson hired to advise UKIP members on starting grooming gangs.
UKIP members are cock-a-hoop at the news that leader Gerald Batman has engaged the services of Tommy Robinson to advise on grooming gangs.
"This is...
There’s nothing more Christmassy than seeing German Terrorist fall out of window, confirm men
Men around the world have confirmed that it's not Christmas until they have seen either a German terrorist or a half naked prostitute fall...
It’s a bit windy out
People all over the UK who have ears and access to either a door or a window have confirmed that it's a bit windy...
Corbyn train lie proves case for nationalisation
After it was revealed today that Jeremy Corbyn lied about having to sit on the floor of a train he claimed was ram packed,...
Theresa May ready to deny TV debate ever took place
The BBC and ITV are to defy Conservative Party wishes and air live debates between participating parties before the upcoming June election.
An inside source...
Brexit Cancelled as Civil Servants Finally Read “Article 50”
All nations attending Treaty discussions are only allocated one car parking space.
UK plans for "Brexit" have hit the buffers after Westminster Civil Servants finally...
