School sex education classes to be replaced by Love Island
School sex education classes are rubbish and should be replaced by episodes of Love Island it has been decided.
Justine Greening said, "Learning to draw...
It’s a Global Thing, insists Brexit economist
Rochdale financial expert and three times bankrupt Brexit economist Ivana Sendham-Bach claimed today that the announcement that the UK was about to enter a...
Jim Bowen to be placed in burning speedboat in viking funeral
Jim Bowen, the comedian and inventor of darts is to receive a full viking funeral.
Mr Bowen, who invented the game of "darts" in the...
Michael Gove to celebrate New Year’s Eve with simple meal of live mice and...
Michael Gove has confirmed that he will be spending New Year Eve at home for quiet night in with his eggs.
The environment secretary has...
Whitewash of establishment nonces in the interests of the children – says dame
Amber Rudd is set to give evidence to a commons committee on the state of the inquiry into child sexual abuse in place of...
Man falls to death after Christmas party gets out of hand
A German national has plummeted to his death after a Christmas party at the Nakatomi Tower in Los Angeles got a little bit out...
“I didn’t want to go to your poxy wedding anyway” says Theresa May
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, Theresa May, has announced that she didn't want to go to the...
Chaos at Speakers’ Corner after steaming pile of dog excrement is mistaken for Tommy...
There were scenes of chaos at Speakers' Corner earlier today after a steaming pile of dog shit was apparently mistaken for EDL-founder Tommy Robinson.
It is understood that the moldering heap of crap, which...
SHOCK after ECSTASY tablet found to contain traces of MDMA
Rochdale Police today issued a warning to recreational drug users that Ecstasy tablets are being sold in the local area that actually contain some...
Brexit decided by a swift round of ‘Bullseye’
It was revealed today that the Brexit deal was decided by the British government and the EC leaders taking part in an episode of...
Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people
Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people.
One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...
Leave Means Leave to broaden appeal by offering Saga vouchers to young members
Leave Means Leave, the new campaign group for bringing destitution and poverty onto the general UK populace have announced radical new plans to entice...
British meteorologists blame wet August on an increase in cloud storage by Apple
The weather scientist went on to predict industrialised nations have a maximum of one year before the amount of material stored in the cloud reaches a critical mass of never ending rain.
Religious fervour hits Rochdale bus passengers
A local member of one of the world's 4200 religions is utterly convinced that his is the correct one.
Stating confidently that “It is,...
Revealed: GCHQ Toaster Hack Turns Leavers Into Remainers…
An exclusive Herald investigation has revealed the extent to which the government's monitoring agency GCHQ can manipulate public opinion through the hacking of common...
First shipment of British thoughts and prayers arrives in Barbuda
A cargo plane has touched down in Barbuda, carrying the first consignment of thoughts and prayers from the people of Britain.
The jet touched down...
