Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Remote Scottish regions report shortages of wicker.
Reports are reaching us of shortages of some unexpected commodities in rural Scotland.
This follows human slug, Rod Liddle's advice in Der Spectator that people...
Woman doesn’t dick about with thermostat
A woman from Rochdale has taken the extraordinary decision to not dick about with the central heating thermostat.
Barbara Dickinson responded to the fact that...
Man with six kids reckons he knows more about withdrawal method than some woman
The latest Etonian voice of the people, Jacob Rees-Mogg, is convinced that his Catholicism gives him the the edge on some woman
Jacob Rees-Mogg, who...
Britons aghast at realisation that Brexit Bonus is Michael Gove as P.M.
Ordinary, innocent Britons, along with many who voted Leave, were faced today with the horrendous realisation that the much vaunted 'Brexit Bonus' was likely...
Working class couple getting married
A working class couple, Steven Dickinson and Barbara Stevenson, who don't own a string of polo ponies, are due to get married at a...
Travelling 250 miles to avoid taking care of child unsurprisingly fine with Boris Johnson
The role of senior Downing Street Adviser Dominic Cummings was called into question after news emerged that he had seen fit to visit the...
Clock in the car delighted to be right for next six months
The clock in the car is said to be absolutely over the moon that the clocks have gone forward or back again.
Campaign to buy McDonnell new calculator raises £65,000,000
The public have rallied behind calls from Robert Chote, the Chairman of The Office for Budget Resposibility to buy The Shadow Chancellor, John McDonnell, a new calculator.
Christmas ruined as Santa fails CRB check
Christmas may be cancelled as Santa has failed to get his CRB check renewed.
The revelation came last night when a Government Spokesperson said, "Santa...
Daily Telegraph releases images of MPs it thinks should wear EU flag armbands
The Daily Telegraph has today released photos of the M.P's it says should wear arm bands that signify their mutineer status.
The paper says that...
Self-aggrandising, egotistical liar meets Donald Trump
Donald Trump was interviewed by self-aggrandising egotist Piers Morgan over the weekend.
Morgan, who likes to pretend to stand for traditional British values such as...
Queen undergoes Duke of Edinburgh replacement operation
The Queen has undergone a successful operation to have the Duke of Edinburgh replaced.
Doctors at King Charle's hospital in London said the operation had...
Bra fitters feel a right pair of tits after revealing the size of the...
Bra fitters Rigby & Peller have lost their Royal warrant after Buckingham Palace cancelled its contract with the company after they revealed intimate details...
Inside the Dark Underbelly of Kensington: Salad Dealers
Our Herald undercover reporter uncovers the sinister side of the illegal Kensington salad trade.
It’s 2 a.m. and I’m standing outside an all-night coffee shop...
Minister of Health and Social care to Employ Doctors From University of Life
Health Minster Stephen Barclay has told of his bold plan to plug the shortfall of doctors within the NHS by employing geniuses from the...
