Man fined for forgetting to post picture on Facebook of litter he picked up...

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A man has been fined for failing to take a picture of the rubbish he picked up on a beach and post it on...

Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters

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Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...

UK moves to a pocket full of posies phase of Coronavirus plan

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The Government has this morning announced, it has begun the "pocket full of posies" phase of its Coronavirus plan. Spokesman Bill Board said, "We use...
David Davis

New train timetables also a massive success, confirms Davis

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The imposition of sweeping timetable changes on Britain's railways for the first time in 17 years has been an unmitgated success, it has been...

Modern slavery greatest evil, says woman who supports unemployed working for free

Theresa May has announced that the worst thing in the world, after Trump's hair and Boris Johnson's gob, is modern slavery. Millions will...
bus driver

Bus drivers distraught they can’t lose shit when given a fiver due to increased...

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Bus drivers distraught they can't lose their shit when given a fiver, due to increased ticket prices. Up and down the country local bus drivers...

Meghan Markle proves she’s mastered waving

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Meghan Markle revealed that she's perfected the art of waving to thousands of people. The Duchess of Sussex was appearing at the Trooping of the...

Tories to abolish hospital parking charges by abolishing hospitals

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The Tory Party has today promised to abolish hospital parking charges by abolishing hospitals. Tory manifesto spokesman, Bill Board told us, "We've done our research...
Working Class Couple

Working class couple getting married

A working class couple, Steven Dickinson and Barbara Stevenson, who don't own a string of polo ponies, are due to get married at a...

Government expands badger cull to five new areas despite warnings it doesn’t work

We to need press on with the solution,  said Theressa May when questioned before all the MP's went on their jollies, leaving the...
Dartboard

Brexit decided by a swift round of ‘Bullseye’

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It was revealed today that the Brexit deal was decided by the British government and the EC leaders taking part in an episode of...
Begging

Beggars fined for begging to pay begging fines

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Vulnerable homeless people are now being forced into longer begging hours to pay the newly introduced fines for begging. In another PR triumph for...

Arron Banks clarifies that he is being investigated by the National Crime Agency not...

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Arron Banks from Leave.EU has today clarified that he didn't finance the vote leave campaign that the Electoral Commission has found guilty of overspending...

Clock in car mysteriously right again

There was befuddlement all over the UK this morning after every motorist in the country reported that the clock in the car is mysteriously...
Theresa May

May To Wheel Out Trebuchet

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Theresa May will relaunch her election campaign today with a classic bit of fighting kit. A trebuchet nicknamed 'Warwolf". The trebuchet, effectively a giant catapult,...

Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people

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Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people. One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...

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