Man thinks totalitarian measures the best way to honour war dead

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A Bridlington man has outlined extreme measures by which people not wearing poppies on Remembrance Sunday should be punished. This includes being subjected to death...

Rochdale PR firms enters FTSE 250 after winning Simon Danczuk crisis management contract

There was jubilation in Rochdale this afternoon as Clifford Savile Associates PLC announced their entry into the FTSE 250 for the first time. The news...

No we don’t want to build a bloody snowman, confirm children

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Children around the UK have confirmed that they don't want to build another bloody snowman. With rain, sleet, snow and more bloody awful weather forecast...

Boris Johnson to be blasted into space

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The Government has announced that Boris Johnson is to be sent into space as part of its new space program. An insider told us, "We'll...

Local hero returns from stay in hotel with both his iPhone charger and toothbrush

A local man is being hailed as some sort of hero after managing to return home from a stay in a hotel with both...
Sunshine

Panic on the streets of Rochdale as glowing hot yellow thing appears in the...

7
Panic has hit the streets of Rochdale today as a unidentified glowing hot yellow glowing orb has appeared in the sky. Terrified Rochdale residents yesterday...
Irn Bru

Street prices hits £2 a hit in Glasgow as addicts stockpile Irn Bru

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Street pushers in Glasgow have been demanding up to £2 for a hit of Irn Bru as addicts have started stockpiling ahead of a...

May To Choose Baby To Kiss During Campaign By Enforced National Raffle

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Downing Street announced today that all families in the U.K. which include one or more infants are to be issued with a special raffle...
Unhappy Child

Scotland to ban Smack for children

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The Scottish government has confirmed that children will no longer be able to use Smack in Scotland. The move would make the country the first...

Town of Hamelin hire Anna Soubry to rid itself of Problem Gammons

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Hamelin Town Hall has announced today that they have struck a deal with Anna Soubry to end their problems with flocks of Gammons in...
Car with snow on it

Everybody wondering where the one car with snow on it came from

Drivers all over the UK are wondering where the hell that one car with snow on it has come from. "Where on Earth has that...

Queen’s festive question for Balmoral faithful

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Her Majesty The Queen has returned to the Balmoral Estate to spend time with her family over the Christmas holiday and will be attending...
Rainy Day

Siberia braces itself for unseasonal British drizzle

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Russian media is warning residents of Central Sibera that the usually frozen steppes will be be bit damper than Britain all week. Prisoners in Siberian...

Office tea expert ‘just sad’ reveals study

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  It was confirmed today that people who make a song and dance about brewing and drinking tea are among the saddest characters in any...
BMW

300,000 BMW recalled after being found to contain faulty drivers

BMW has confirmed a second recall of hundreds of thousands of vehicles from UK roads in a year, due to problems with the cars...
Paul Nuttall

Bottoms up for Nuttall

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In an unprecedented move, UKIP leader and shampoo user of the year 2008, Paul Nuttall, has finally come clean about his much debated past. "Now...

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