Chemistry

Everyone on Facebook expert in analytical chemistry all of a sudden

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Everyone on Facebook is now an expert in analytical chemistry it has been revealed. The news comes after scientists at Porton Down revealed that they...

People with no connection to the USA celebrate Independence Day

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People with absolutely no connection to the United States of America have been inexplicably celebrating US Independence Day today. Cliff Edge told us, "I got...

Dominic Raaaaab resigns to commit more time to GCSE resit

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Dominic Raab has announced he's resigning to spend more time with his Geography GCSE revision. Mr Raaab announced his resignation earlier today saying, "I've...
Depressed business man at his desk

Satirists across the globe have a day off due to lack of news

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The Daily Mash, NewsThump, SNN and The Poke all refused to post content today as world events seemed to have ground a to halt. "A...

Fears of bush fire on Saddleworth moor causing huge smoke cloud actually vaping Hipster

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For three days smoke has filled the skies above north Manchester as Saddleworth moor has been seemingly ablaze, leaving North Manchester covered in a...

We survived Bubonic plague so we’ll probably survive Brexit, Government assures Britain

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The Government has released advice on what to do in the event of a 'no-deal' Brexit. The advice has the catchy strap line, "No-deal,...

Scottish Windfarm to re-open after summer recess

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Nicola Sturgeon is to give a massive boost to renewable energy later today by droning on about the "way forward for Scotland" and as...
Brexit Bus

Key Brexit aim amended from ‘extra 350m a week to spend’ to ‘not many...

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The new Brexit Secretary, Jeremy Rees-Gove has told hard-line Brexiteers to downplay their expectations. "It's become clear that writing something on the side of a...
Poached Egg

Someone on Instagram has poached an egg

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According to widespread reports somebody on Instagram has only gone and poached an egg.  Rumours are spreading that the egg poacher may have in fact...

Microsoft worker takes Apple to court

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Yesterday, a Microsoft employee allegedly got a dressing down from High Court judge, the Right Honorable Justice Antony Smyth-Tomkinson. The employee who we cannot...

Arsonists shocked building they set on fire is burning

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A group of arsonists have spoken of their shock at discovering that a building they've spent a decade carefully trying to set fire to...

Police chiefs launch captive breeding programme in bid to boost officer numbers

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Police chiefs in England and Wales have been asked to contribute their best and brightest officers to a captive breeding programme due to be launched in...

Prince Andrew self isolating in Windsor with Olivia-16

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Following the news that Prince Charles has contracted Covid-19, The Rochdale Herald has learned that Prince Andrew is self isolating at his home in...
Paul Nuttall

Paul Nuttall To Become Next Duke Of Edinburgh

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Paul Nuttall will be assuming the position of Duke of Edinburgh, following the retirement of Prince Philip, he has confirmed. “It’s the perfect job, really,”...

Homeworkers mysteriously suntanned

People who work from home are all looking oddly suntanned for people who work at their desks for eight hours a day, leading experts...
Hose Pipe Bans

3rd Day of Sunshine sees Hose Pipe Bans Across UK

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As the heatwave currently hitting the UK enters its third day water companies across Britain have enforced hose pipe bans once again. Despite months of...

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