SAS chiefs approach Liberal Democrats for tips on staying out of sight.

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It has been revealed today that bosses of the Special Air Service, or SAS, the British special forces, attempted to contact the Liberal Democrat...

Theresa May: Donald Trump told me to grab EU by the pussy

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Donald Trump told Theresa May that she should "grab the EU by the pussy" rather than ask for its consent, according to an interview...
Christmas Presents

Now for something different, our Big Fat Secret Santa

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Along with the very fine and folk at NewsThump and The Southend News Network we have put together what we think could be one...
Clubbing

Couple looking forward to annual tedious night out, in dreadful nightclub with hideous people

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A middle aged Rochdale couple are reportedly giddy with excitement about their annual tedious night out in a horrible club with hideous people  tonight. Barbara...
James Hewitt

James Hewitt ‘THRILLED’ at Prince Harry’s engagement to Megan Markle

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James Hewitt has said he's 'thrilled' at the announcement of the engagement of Prince Harry to 'some sort from America'. "Many people don't know this,...

Jeremy Hunt’s £44,000 office shower necessary for cleaning off his bullshit

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“Of course Jeremy needs a shower for his office. He’s in it right now as a matter of fact. Every time he opens his mouth, he spews out so much utter bullshit that it gets all over him and he has to get cleaned up.”
riot police 2

Police urge Burnley residents not to report sightings of fruit and veg in shops

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Police in Burnley have been inundated with 999 calls after shops started stocking fresh fruit and veg. Rumours that local shops had been taking secret...

“Your dad is a horrible man”, says man yelling at child because he doesn’t...

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A middle aged man has today made another middle aged man aware that he doesn't like him by standing outside the man's home and...

Some bloke in UKIP said something about the BBC

Bill Etheridge, a candidate for hard right conservative comedy troupe UKIP has said that the BBC should be privatised because it's "shoving left wing...

Nation tries to remember why it told kids to knock on strangers’ doors for...

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Did we just adjust the clocks so that it is dark by the time kids come home from school, and then teach them to...

Branson to be Stripped of Knighthood & Awarded “The Icepick of the People” in...

John McDonnell has branded British capitalist lapdog Sir Richard Branson an "enemy of the People" who "undermines Democracy & the Will of the People"...
Magic Circle

Magic Circle Trigger Terror Alert

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Amid growing concern and fears for public safety, illusionist extremists The Magic Circle have been deemed a threat to security and democracy. The so-called magicians...
Chris Grayling

Chris Grayling awards ferry contract to Nigerian Prince after receiving fortuitous email

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Transport Secretary, Chris Grayling has announced that the Government have awarded a contract to provide ferries in the event of a no-deal Brexit. Grayling, the...
BMW

You can’t skid if you don’t brake, confirm BMW drivers

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One of Britain's leading self-proclaimed driving experts was kind enough to give the Herald some tips on how to drive safely in the snow. "Don't...

Twenty two point lead for Tories touts Telegraph

Conservatives clap to celebrate clear lead as misdirectional muppetry f/makes news yet again after the Telegraph published the definitely not at all orchestrated and not tailored...
Gay Pride

‘Just a phase’ movement finally represented at London Gay Pride

In another great victory for liberal tolerance, the much maligned "just a phase" movement will be properly recognised at tomorrow's London Pride. In between...

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