Tories Include Return of Death Penalty In Election Manifesto
The Conservative Party has surprised many by including a return of the death penalty in their election manifesto.
Explaining the eye catching manifesto promise, Jacob...
Northern Shithole Celebrates UK Capital of Culture with Pie and Peas and a Knobbly...
About 60,000 people came out in Hull to watch a Burger Eating Contest & Arm Wrestling show to mark the start of the city's...
Man thinks totalitarian measures the best way to honour war dead
A Bridlington man has outlined extreme measures by which people not wearing poppies on Remembrance Sunday should be punished.
This includes being subjected to death...
When is an aircraft carrier just a carrier?
Britain's new aircraft carrier, HMS Queen Elizabeth, was commissioned today in Portsmouth.
The new carrier is at the cutting edge of British warship design and...
Prince asks for money for wedding instead of Christmas presents
Royal offspring are like the grown up children who return to the nest once they have completed their time in higher education.
You think...
Burnley ‘model’ swaps ‘virginity’ for fish and chip supper
A 19-year old 'model from Burnley has spoken of a dream come true after she swapped her 'virginity' for some fish and chips with...
Donald Trump declares Buckingham Palace ‘shit hole’ and offers to pay for repairs.
After a petition to stop the orange Hitler visiting the Queen passed 1.7 million signatures, the tyrannical dictator offered to meet the new President...
Patients should only suffer because of politics – Insists Hunt
Homeopathic politician and all-round quack-licker Jeremy The Hunt has stated that patients will suffer if planned strikes by junior doctors go ahead.
"Obviously we don't...
Prince Andrew self isolating in Windsor with Olivia-16
Following the news that Prince Charles has contracted Covid-19, The Rochdale Herald has learned that Prince Andrew is self isolating at his home in...
May sets UK up for long March to Brexit
Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable.
The Conservative party used their parliamentary...
Someone on Instagram has poached an egg
According to widespread reports somebody on Instagram has only gone and poached an egg.
Rumours are spreading that the egg poacher may have in fact...
Big Ben to be renamed Massive Mohammed from 2018
Equality campaigners have welcomed plans to rename Big Ben as part of a project celebrating London's rich cultural heritage.
The famous landmark, which is due...
Is the EU to blame for Storm Ciara?
As Storm Ciara batters it's way across the country we at The Rochdale Herald ask, is the EU to blame?
Bill Board, Wetherspoons Raconteur.
"Of course...
Britain prepares to spend weekend listening to pensioners contrived war stories
British pensioners are gearing up for this weekend’s festival of remembrance by remembering their contrived war stories.
Many, like 78 year old Justin Case, spent...
Thank you for supporting Satire Aid – 26,000 presents worth £175,000
The numbers are now in for Satire Aid's Big Fat Secret Santa appeal. Together the readers of The Rochdale Herald, NewsThump, Angry People in...
Queen shocked to discover she’s invested in Los Pollos Hermanos
The Queen is said to be shocked that her accountants have invested heavily in Los Pollos Hermanos. The food chain, seen in the TV...
