Tim Farron

Tim Farron forced to hand over lunch money during visit to primary school

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Tim Farron has today visited a primary school in Bacup in an effort to convince voters that the Lib Dems absolutely, cross their hearts hope...

Doing Right Thing Would Set Dangerous Precedent, Says Prime Minister

Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that she won't intervene in David Cameron's scheme to reward all his mates with Honours. "Listen here," said an...
Man thinking

Dad thinking about thinking about starting his Christmas shopping

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A Rochdale Dad has broken protocol by announcing that he has begun thinking about thinking about starting his Christmas shopping with more than a...
Ryanair

Jeremy Corbyn says Labour will Nationalise RyanAir

18
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has layed out plans to take RyanAir into public ownership alongside the railways and the Royal Mail in a radical...

Adorable baby will grow up to be massive bellend

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The parents of an adorable baby in the borough of Rochdale were dismayed to learn today that statistically it is very likely that he...

Dreadlocked protestor’s skin’s sensitivity to climate change successfully protects her from death in custody

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Extinction Rebellion activist deliberately intended to get herself arrested, safely With parts of the nation's capital experiencing air almost as clean as Rochdale's, we caught...
Jeremy Corbyn

Owen Smith Recognised in Tesco Express

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In a massive boost for the right of The Labour Party, Owen Smith was spotted and recognised in a Tesco Express in Camden yesterday....

Dozens injured after Chris Grayling attempts to throw hat into ring for Conservative Leadership

Dozens injured after Chris Grayling attempts to throw hat into the ring for Conservative Leadership Several hundred innocent bystanders were left with horrendous injuries, many...
Unhappy Hippy Kid

Children of hippy parents gear up for annual disappointment of ethical advent calendars

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The children of hippies have been telling the Herald about how they've been preparing for receiving disappointing advent calendars. 8 year old Freedom Snowphish said,...

Blairite Entryism Not A Big Deal, Insist Blairites

It was revealed today that a Blairite peer, a hedge fund manager, several rich business types and a Liberal Democrat Lord were behind the...

Stephen Fry forced to deny writing tomorrow’s Queen Speech

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Rumours are circulating within Westminster village regarding tomorrow's Queen's Speech. In order for it to be the unmistakable work of comedy everyone expects, Downing Street...
White Walkers

Army of White Walkers causing delays M1 Southbound

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Drivers and commuters are facing another difficult day of delays and difficult journeys across the UK after a second night of freezing temperatures.  The Met...

Boris not offensive, simply misunderstood – insists Boris

Posh fop-headed press gob and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has defended the countless insults and faux pas he has made by claiming that each...
Sunshine

Panic on the streets of Rochdale as glowing hot yellow thing appears in the...

7
Panic has hit the streets of Rochdale today as a unidentified glowing hot yellow glowing orb has appeared in the sky. Terrified Rochdale residents yesterday...
Puppy Christmas

John Lewis Christmas advert shows puppy being fed into blender

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Retailer John Lewis has released its Christmas advert for 2017 which shows a cute puppy being fed into an industrial strength blender. The eagerly anticipated...

Outrage as ban on Christmas turns out to be false

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People across the country have expressed outrage in response to the revelation that a ban on Christmas has been revealed to be false. An image...

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