PC World

Confused Alt-Right activists boycott PC World

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Several branches of the computer retailer PC World have reported a spike in confused right-wing "activists" gathering outside their premises in protest. The cause of...
Blizzard

Rest of world ceases activity so BBC can cover snow

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As Britain is experiencing the worst snow since last time,the rest of the world has decided to cease all activities and events to let...

May sets UK up for long March to Brexit

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Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable. The Conservative party used their parliamentary...
Shed fire

Fire at Burnley Art School causes pounds worth of damage

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Yesterday's fire at the Burnley School for the Arts has caused £500 worth of damage. Early indications are that the bus stop is irreparably...

Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit

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Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today. There's been a...

Racism cured after white people put black face on their social media accounts

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We are pleased to report that racial prejudice worldwide has been solved by white people blacking up their social media accounts.  From your mum's...

Labour Unveil New All White Party Flag

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Thanks to Labour another Article 50 bill amendment that would have risked empowering the British people, who are now known to be idiots, has...

American tourists Popeye cockup

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A group of American tourists are threatening to sue a Birmingham hotel , after claiming that the owners have exposed them to humiliation and...
Michael Gove

Britons aghast at realisation that Brexit Bonus is Michael Gove as P.M.

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Ordinary, innocent Britons, along with many who voted Leave, were faced today with the horrendous realisation that the much vaunted 'Brexit Bonus' was likely...
Student Loans Company

Bloke from the Student Loans Company still thinks they’re getting their money back

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A delusional representative of the Student Loans Company has said that he is still optimistic that they might get some of the money back...

David Blunkett confirms he’s still blind following driving test

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The Rochdale Herald can exclusively confirm that David Blunkett is still blind. Mr Blunkett confirmed the findings of his most recent eye sight test...

Britain faces Sophie’s choice over which incompetent arsehole leads it

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Britain has revealed it is spoiled for choice on which incompetent aresehole it has leading it. A spokesman told us, "Everyone is cheering at the...
Tony Blair

Tony Blair has already earned more than you

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Tony Blair has already earned more than you will this year and it's only January. For those unfamiliar, Mr Blair is the most successful leader...

Rail fares rise takes taking the piss further

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The average price of standing between a handful of sweaty commuters whilst the will to live is squeezed out of you is to rise by around 2.3%. Again.

People who ‘say it like it is’ invariably arseholes groundbreaking research concludes

Researchers at Rochdale Community University have concluded that people who "tell it like it is" are invariably complete arseholes. "People who 'tell it like it...

Mob smashing ambulance up fine because it’s the will of the people, confirm Brexiteers

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Members of a mob that smashed up an ambulance as part of the post match celebrations yesterday were within their democratic rights according to...

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