Viagra

WTO confirms nations can trade with U.K. on a ‘pity fuck’ basis.

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The WTO has confirmed that in the case of a no deal Brexit, member nations will be free to trade with the U.K. as...
Boris Felipe Spoon

Boris Johnson hits King of Spain on forehead with spoon after mistaking him for...

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Britain and Spain are embroiled in a ferocious diplomatic incident after Boris Johnson hit King Felipe VI of Spain on the forehead with a...

Shoppers rejoice as bendy bananas sneak back into supermarkets after Commons vote

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UK shoppers were in ecstasy as bendy bananas made a comeback into British supermarkets following Parliament’s decision to allow Prime Minister Theresa May to...
Poppy Seller

Islamic poppies being considered by the Royal British Legion

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Islamic poppies, which would be green, with a white star and crescent, are being discussed by the Royal British Legion. This has predictably stirred up...
Theresa May

Kaiser Chiefs hurriedly rerelease ‘I Predict a Riot’

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As crowds of surprisingly calm protesters gather at Westminister to demand the resignation of the recently elected droid, Maybot 2.0, The Kaiser Chiefs are...
Paul Nuttall

Paul Nuttall To Become Next Duke Of Edinburgh

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Paul Nuttall will be assuming the position of Duke of Edinburgh, following the retirement of Prince Philip, he has confirmed. “It’s the perfect job, really,”...

Satirists run out of ink

Thousands of satirists across the UK and their tens of readers around the world face a crisis as the supplies of ink slowed to...
Union flag with "Brexit" ove it

Government’s Brexit White Paper revealed

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The hotly anticipated government White Paper on Brexit was released this week to an explosion of love juice from the editors of the Mail...

Russia urges foreign powers not to meddle in their U.K. elections

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The Russian Government has urged all nations to refrain from interfering in its UK elections. A spokesman told us, "We are very worried about other...

Torquay becomes UK Hate Capital overnight

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A new survey of social attitudes out earlier today has revealed that Torquay has turned into the Hate Capital of the UK overnight after...
Begging

Beggars fined for begging to pay begging fines

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Vulnerable homeless people are now being forced into longer begging hours to pay the newly introduced fines for begging. In another PR triumph for...

Santa slams rumours that he doesn’t exist as “fake news”

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Father Christmas of North Pole fame is said to be fuming like a well mulled wine after a rumour has spread that he doesn't...

England celebrates patron saint of Syphilis

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England is to spend the day celebrating the patron saint of Syphilis today. Branches of Wetherspoons across the land will be full of obese, gammon...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip to star in new season of The Walking Dead

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There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead. The show depicts characters...

I’ll poo wherever I like, says baby

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6 month old Tommy Leadbetter from Romford has spoken exclusively to The Rochdale Herald about how he manages his toilet regime. "First I was...
Scientists

Obvious Satire Still Confusing Idiots, Say Scientists 

Researchers at the esteemed Rochdale Community University have published a study today revealing that fool-proof satire is still not fool-proof.  "We gave some angry morons...

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