Belfast Orange walk to become 24k Gold walk
The annual Orange walk of Belfast's protestant population is to take place this weekend and is expected to reveal itself now as a 24K...
Wise Men slam ‘unreasonable expectations’ as ‘Virgin’ Mary’s first sausage is a foot-long manger...
Some wise men have today hit back at a high street bakers claiming that their 'Foot-Long Sausage Roll' creates unrealistic expectations about baked goods....
Beggars fined for begging to pay begging fines
Vulnerable homeless people are now being forced into longer begging hours to pay the newly introduced fines for begging.
In another PR triumph for...
Tommy Robinson disappointed Korean Barbeque wasn’t a book burning
Tommy Robinson has been explaining his disappointment at attending what he thought would be aa Koran burning event that turned out to be a...
WTO confirms nations can trade with U.K. on a ‘pity fuck’ basis.
The WTO has confirmed that in the case of a no deal Brexit, member nations will be free to trade with the U.K. as...
Gove cast as Tick-Tock in Rupert Murdoch’s adaption of ‘Peter Pan’
An all star cast is to appear in seasoned stage director Rupert Murdoch's new adaptation of the J. M. Barrie classic 'Peter Pan'.
Michael Gove...
March Against Hate Wins World Irony Cup
The World Irony Championship has been cancelled for 2017 after anti-Muslims calling themselves UK Against Hate held a march against extremism.
“We normally wait until...
Electric shock therapy recharges your batteries, says sadistic boss
The boss of a Rochdale mobile phone tech support company, Globally Integrated Mobile Phone Solutions, has been telling the Herald how electric shock therapy...
Earl Grey tea is actually horrible, admit people who drink it
A woman from Rochdale has admitted that she doesn't really like Earl Grey tea because it tastes horrible.
Winifred Barbarella from Milnrow (35 and three...
Prince Andrew to move to Thailand for 6 months
Prince Andrew has announced plans to spend 6 months of the year living in Thailand. The Prince will then spend the other 6 months...
Husband Goes Shopping Buys Everything on List
A woman from Cleckheaton told The Rochdale Herald today how her husband went shopping, with a list, and returned an hour and a half...
London’s last affordable plumber shot by poachers
London's last surviving affordable plumber has been killed by poachers in Clapham, according to a conservation group that protects a dwindling group of reliable...
M&Ms Sharing packs to be renamed Who Are You To Judge Me packs
Chocolate mega-conglomerate Mars have confirmed they are renaming 'Share' packs to more accurately reflect their customers' selfish, secretive consumption style.
Advertising campaigns for the larger...
Idiots declare ‘It’s officially Christmas!’ following annual sugar water advert
The popular Coca Cola advert which includes trucks and or polar bears has aired on UK television again tonight as it does every year.
Millions...
South Koreans and Londoners in agreement that it’s “grim up north”
South Koreans will similarly be asked to stand on the border with their own north and use megaphones to shout at their alienated relatives that they think they have it hard, they could try living in Rochdale.
May To Choose Baby To Kiss During Campaign By Enforced National Raffle
Downing Street announced today that all families in the U.K. which include one or more infants are to be issued with a special raffle...
