First Briton shocks Britain First
Researchers from London's natural history Museum have presented the results of analysis of DNA from 'Cheddar Man', Britain's oldest complete skeleton, prompting a spokesman...
Larry the Downing Street Cat responds to allegations of sexual misconduct: These stories are...
Disgraced veteran mouser Larry the Downing Street Cat on Friday admitted to allegations of sexual misconduct that were levelled against him earlier in the...
Brexiteer skydiving team dies in tragic accident after replacing parachutes with optimism
An entire elderly skydiving display team has died in a tragic accident in Essex this weekend after replacing their parachutes with an optimistic attitude.
The...
Britain prepares to spend weekend listening to pensioners contrived war stories
British pensioners are gearing up for this weekend’s festival of remembrance by remembering their contrived war stories.
Many, like 78 year old Justin Case, spent...
Asking not to be felt up at work is hardly a takeover, sigh women
As several leading Princes amongst Men like Charles Moore of the Telegraph and pre-Prince frogs like Quentin Letts recommend women lighten up, share power...
Great weather for ducks, confirm ducks
Ducks around the UK have confirmed that they are having a really lovely day and are enjoying the weather.
Speaking from the middle of a...
Increased racism was on the other bus say Brexiteers
Brexiteers have been quick to point out that a post-Brexit vote increase in racism was on the other bus.
Government clown Boris Johnson said, "This...
Piled rubbish masks smell of Birmingham city
Birmingham city council, has for the past few weeks been in the grips of a public sector strike. Birmingham’s ‘bin men’ are demanding fairer/higher...
EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…
Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
Colonel Mustard blames the Housing Minister in the Cabinet Office with the Funding Cuts
Colonel Mustard has alleged that the housing minister, in the cabinet office, with the funding cuts caused the Grenfell fire.
The Colonel, wearing a...
Mob smashing ambulance up fine because it’s the will of the people, confirm Brexiteers
Members of a mob that smashed up an ambulance as part of the post match celebrations yesterday were within their democratic rights according to...
Woman who sweeps elephants in room under the rug wonders why her relationships don’t...
A Rochdale woman who has a “sweep it under the rug” approach to the elephant in the room is puzzled as to why her...
Rail Companies to simplify process of deciding which is the worst
Following recent criticism from the rail regulator, Train operating companies (TOCs) are to make it easier for travellers to decide which has the worst...
Tony Blair has already earned more than you
Tony Blair has already earned more than you will this year and it's only January.
For those unfamiliar, Mr Blair is the most successful leader...
New EU rules send shock waves through the terraces
New EU rules are set to send shock waves through the football terraces of the UK.
According to sources close to the FA, the...
Piss levels dangerously low after 2016 took it all – study finds
A study into the efficiency of waste management facilities across the UK has revealed a dramatic decline in the levels of liquid waste being...
