White Van

White van man smashes World Land Speed Record

A plumber’s apprentice from Birtle has utterly smashed the world land speed record on the M66 in a white Peugeot van. The news that Jamie...
Drinking Wine

Not drinking alcohol only makes life feel a lot longer, confirm experts

Not drinking will make your life feel a lot longer, according to a study that suggests not being a little bit drunk every day...
Sunbathing woman

Homeworkers warned to wear suncream as UK heatwave intensifies

0
With expectations that this month's sweltering weather could become the norm a health strategy is urgently required to protect the thousands of people who...

Bears cleared of ‘shitting in the woods’ says watchdog

0
The independent Bear Complaints Commission has found that there is no evidence that bears are guilty of shitting in the woods. The misconduct watchdog,...
Blue Passport

British retail workers thrilled about opportunity to sign on using blue passport

0
British retail workers have revealed that they're looking forward to signing on with blue passports. Cliff Edge told us, "Not having a job or any...

We demand the tooth!

0
Tory MP David Davies has demanded that the most recent group of refugee children, newly arrived in Britain, be taken straight to the dentist.  After...

Russian government denies involvement in Aleksandr ‘the Meerkat’ Orlov poisoning

0
The Russian government has denied any involvement in the poisoning of Aleksandr 'The Meerkat' Orlov, after the TV star was found unconscious outside his...

UKIP call for Global Warming referendum

In what is seen as a bid to rescue UKIP from self-inflicted obsolescence, leadership hopeful and Anthony Head lookalike, Steven Woolfe has today called...

Bloke who described himself as inspirational and entrepreneurial on CV definitely neither

A bloke’s glowing description of himself on his CV definitely does not bear any resemblance to observations of his personality, it has emerged. During a...
Colin Firth

Leave.EU tells orphaned bear to “piss off back to Peru”

14
Coming over here, shitting in our woods... A small bear arrived in this country some years ago. The friendly bear, with his old hat, battered...
UKIP

UKIP suspends member for reading a book

0
A member of UKIP was today suspended when found reading a book that does not appear on UKIP's 'approved' list. The list, which includes...
Spaniel

Family dog dutifully tells sleeping baby that there’s somebody at the door

0
A dutiful family dog has very helpfully informed a sleeping baby that there is somebody at the door. The seven year old Cocker Spaniel made...

Secret owners of 1 million tax dodging companies registered in British Virgin Islands furious...

32
The secret owners of an estimated one million companies registered in the British Virgin Islands Sunday registered their displeasure at the UK government's slow...

EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain

0
The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...
Big Coat

Man spotted not wearing his ‘Big Coat’ in Rochdale, in June

6
In scenes that shocked many shoppers in Rochdale town centre today, two men who were visiting from far away Bolton, were seen walking through...

Daily Mail fury as NO MIGRANTS are going to be killed as a result...

0
The Mail and the Express allege that the silence of the clangs is meant to be a mark of respect timed to coincide with the twentieth anniversary of Princess Diana's death.

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts