Thousands gather in North Yorkshire to see world’s first completely empty Biro
There is more travel misery anticipated for the rest of the week as tens of thousands of people are expected to continue making their...
William and Catherine’s third child expected to hatch in April
Kensington palace said the breeding pair were “delighted” to be adding to their lounge and already have two hatchlings: Prince George, four, and his younger sister Charlotte, two.
Scotsman wakes to sobering horror that he lives in Kirkcaldy
A Scotsman has been telling people of the dawning horror that he still lives in Kirkcaldy.
A reporter for The Rochdale Herald Scotland edition said,...
Chris Grayling awards ferry contract to Nigerian Prince after receiving fortuitous email
Transport Secretary, Chris Grayling has announced that the Government have awarded a contract to provide ferries in the event of a no-deal Brexit.
Grayling, the...
Question Time cut short after woman dies of boredom
The BBC's Question Time recording was cut short on Thursday after an audience member passed out from boredom during the recording.
Filming of the BBC...
James Hewitt ‘THRILLED’ at Prince Harry’s engagement to Megan Markle
James Hewitt has said he's 'thrilled' at the announcement of the engagement of Prince Harry to 'some sort from America'.
"Many people don't know this,...
Santa to be denied entry to U.K. under proposed points system
Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system.
A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system...
Russell Brand in hot water again for ‘pranking’ Andrews Sachs’ granddaughter
Long haired Labour killer and plastic revolutionary, Russell Brand, has come under fire once again this morning after 'pranking' the granddaughter of the late...
Sturgeon Scotland Indyref Goes to Defcon Fandouble-Dozi
Nicola Sturgeon has told Theresa May that she is not "bluffing" on the promise of a second independence and has gone to Defcon Fandabidoubledozi!
In...
Donald Trump declares Buckingham Palace ‘shit hole’ and offers to pay for repairs.
After a petition to stop the orange Hitler visiting the Queen passed 1.7 million signatures, the tyrannical dictator offered to meet the new President...
People urged to collect this year’s autumn leaves for currency post apocalypse
The Home Office has issued advice to the nation’s gardeners this year that they should be storing this year’s autumn leaves for use as...
Princess Diana’s ghost tells Express readers Brexit deal is a total car crash
Princess Diana's ghost has told Daily Express readers that Theresa May's Brexit deal is a complete car crash.
Speaking to the Express Diana's ghost said,...
Owen Smith thrilled with shiny new campaign bus
Owen Smith is said to be delighted with his shiny new campaign bus.
"It's brilliant!" he sang. "It shits all over Corbyn's campaign bike"
Smith drew...
Obvious Satire Still Confusing Idiots, Say Scientists
Researchers at the esteemed Rochdale Community University have published a study today revealing that fool-proof satire is still not fool-proof.
"We gave some angry morons...
Conservative Party campaign back on track after nobody resigns over rape or racism allegations...
The Tory Party is today celebrating getting its election campaign back on track after it managed to go a full half an hour without...
Shipping alert as Monster Fatberg spotted in Caribbean
The Caribbean is facing more misery this week as islanders struggle to deal with the destruction left in the wake of Hurricane Irma.
What has...
