Clock in car mysteriously right again
There was befuddlement all over the UK this morning after every motorist in the country reported that the clock in the car is mysteriously...
Corbyn press relationship hits the buffers following Traingate
Jeremy Corbyn had an uncomfortable day today as he was asked a series of questions by journalists after being caught bullshitting about the state...
Child confused as to why he can’t just accept his school mates for who...
In a candid interview for the Rochdale Herald, an unnamed child of parents who sincerely believe that their child can somehow be damaged by...
North East has nowt to do with us, claims Government
Following a cabinet meeting on Tuesday the government has denied responsibility for the north east stating "we didn't want it in the first place....
Ireland wakes up in South Atlantic after all-night craic.
The island of Ireland had braced itself for the oncoming of storm Ophelia in the best Irish tradition, with a night of craic and...
Tolkein With Tits set to dominate office conversations as Game of Thrones returns
As the umpteenth series of the godawful fantasy franchise "Game of Thrones" is due to air on Murdoch-vision this week, those with more refined...
Woman doesn’t dick about with thermostat
A woman from Rochdale has taken the extraordinary decision to not dick about with the central heating thermostat.
Barbara Dickinson responded to the fact that...
Jeremy Corbyn in Right Wing Political Correctness Storm
The political right, bigots, misogynists, anti-feminists and liars across the country united yesterday, to fully embrace political correctness, after the opposition leader was accused...
Builder finishes job on time and under budget
A small building firm in Lancashire has become the first builder in the history of the industry to finish a job on time and...
Paul Nuttall To Become Next Duke Of Edinburgh
Paul Nuttall will be assuming the position of Duke of Edinburgh, following the retirement of Prince Philip, he has confirmed.
“It’s the perfect job, really,”...
Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed
Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed.
After five engineer visits, four no-shows and five hours calling BT, Labour...
Council has enough grit
A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the...
New royal baby to be called DIANA and raised as a GIRL
Buckingham Palace has sought to quash rumours that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are set to call their new baby boy 'Diana' and...
Scottish government urged to act as Edinburgh chip shop caught selling deep-fried HEROIN
Health campaigners in Scotland have urged the SNP government to take immediate action after an Edinburgh chip shop was found to be selling deep-fried...
Baby seals used in making of new £1 coin.
The bank of England and Royal Mint announced today that the new pound coin that entered into circulation this week is made using the...
Revealed: your top 5 favourite ways to explain Corbyn losing a general election to...
Jeremy Corbyn is the people's champion and the most popular politician in England, so, just how do the people of Rochdale think he lost...




















































