Wheelie Bin Cat purr-sues career as guard dog trainer
Lola the ninja feline, from Coventry, was once again discovered in a rather strange location. This time it was in a Romford working men’s...
Northern woman puts heating on
A woman from the North of England has shocked the country by putting the heating on in October.
Denise Dufite, originally from the northern town...
Scientists confirm tea tastes better when somebody else makes it
Researchers from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that tea tastes loads better when somebody else has made it.
Maurice Tips,...
First year student can’t wait to get home to tell her pony all about...
A first year student at the University of Bristol is said to be very excited about getting home for Christmas so she can tell...
Mensa exam to be replaced by attempting to sync iTunes
International high IQ club Mensa has announced plans to scrap their famously difficult entrance exam, and replace it with a quest to negotiate Apple's...
Three year old child sits still and shuts up for five minutes
Unconfirmed reports are coming in from Rochdale that a three year old child sat still in contemplative silence for five whole minutes last Tuesday...
Town of Hamelin hire Anna Soubry to rid itself of Problem Gammons
Hamelin Town Hall has announced today that they have struck a deal with Anna Soubry to end their problems with flocks of Gammons in...
Rupert Murdoch still on course to become Britain’s longest-serving Prime Minister
With only two days of campaigning left before the general election, polling suggests that Rupert Murdoch is still on course to become Britain’s longest-serving...
Rochdale Herald Editor knighted in New Year’s Honours List
The editor of the Rochdale Herald, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been knighted for services to fake news. Mr Fortesqueue, 58, said he was delighted...
OED announces Word Of The Year
The Oxford English Dictionary announced the winner of their prestigious Word Of The Year competition at a champagne gala ceremony in London's upmarket Neasden...
3rd Day of Sunshine sees Hose Pipe Bans Across UK
As the heatwave currently hitting the UK enters its third day water companies across Britain have enforced hose pipe bans once again.
Despite months of...
UKIP suspends member for reading a book
A member of UKIP was today suspended when found reading a book that does not appear on UKIP's 'approved' list.
The list, which includes...
One dead and two critical after fight over last packet of burger buns
At approximately one o'clock this afternoon emergency services were dispatched to the Cooperative convenience store in Middleton. The initial response was to investigate a...
Chilcot recommends that Blair sit on ‘naughty step’ for Iraq war mistakes…
Sir John Chilcot has come out with excoriating criticisms of former Prime Minister Tony Blair's attempt to mislead the public and MPs over the...
If we didn’t hunt foxes, horses would only do it themselves
An avid fox hunter has spoken out against the notion that his chosen 'sport' is in any way cruel to fox, hound or horse.
Sir...
Cannabis legalisation could mean users run out of things to talk about within 24...
Experts are tonight warning that Britain's stoner community could run out of things to talk about in as little as 24 hours. The warnings...
