Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit
Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today.
There's been a...
Trust me to deliver Brexit, says woman you wouldn’t trust to deliver a pizza
"I'll deliver Brexit just like I deliver pizza." That's what Theresa May said and people have been queuing up to say that that's Brexit...
Britain’s oldest man, Paul Nuttall, has died.
Sir Paul Nuttall, VC, OBE, Ph.D, passed away peacefully in his sleep yesterday, hours before his 108th birthday.
Sir Paul was the first man to...
Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution
Put your hands on the car and get ready to die.
Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...
Rochdale gran still using same can opener she bought in 1967
A Rochdale woman has been telling the Herald how she has had the same can opener for 51 years this year.
Bernadette Gottelieb told us,...
Prince William’s asking about legalizing drugs “for a friend”
Following news today that Prince William asked various drug users about their views on current drug laws, The Rochdale Herald was approached by a...
Racists oddly quiet about global paedophile gang operating in Rochdale
Racists around the UK have been oddly quiet about the international paedophile network that has been operating in Rochdale, and everywhere else that matter, for centuries.
"We usually...
Three billion seems reasonable for boat with hole in it, says Government responsible for...
The people responsible for negotiating the UK's exit from the European Union have confirmed that three billion pounds is a completely reasonable sum of...
Boris Johnson spotted on side of M25 after wheels and doors fall off car
Reports have reached the Rochdale Herald that Boris Johnson was spotted by the side of the M25 yesterday waiting for a recovery truck.
One witness...
Queen’s Speech delayed as Elizabeth II seeks treatment for stress related Tourette’s
Security has been increased at King Edward VII hospital, where it is believed her Majesty the Queen is currently undergoing treatment for an acute...
There’s nothing more Christmassy than seeing German Terrorist fall out of window, confirm men
Men around the world have confirmed that it's not Christmas until they have seen either a German terrorist or a half naked prostitute fall...
Fifa officials turn down Putin’s offer of dinner in Zizzi’s following World Cup opening...
Fifa officials last night refused to comment on rumours that they all turned down Vladimir Putin's offer of an all-expenses paid trip to Zizzi's...
Royal baby has already earned more than you
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have left hospital after increasing the burden on the taxpayer for a third time.
The new prince, who was...
Warning issued after teetotal vegan non-smoker bores himself to death
Fresh concerns have been raised over the safety of healthy lifestyles after a study found that people following them invariably die eventually anyway.
A team...
You can’t skid if you don’t brake, confirm BMW drivers
One of Britain's leading self-proclaimed driving experts was kind enough to give the Herald some tips on how to drive safely in the snow.
"Don't...
Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle should settle rift with bikini jelly wrestling demand Daily...
Daily Express readers have today demanded that Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton settle their differences with a bout of bikini jelly wrestling.
Express reader, Ian...
