The Government has revealed that Britain has taken back control of its fishing waters and hidden them in Shropshire.
A spokesman said, “For too long these French and Spanish fishermen have fished our fish in our waters. Well no more. I’d like to see johnny foreigner try sailing a trawler up to Telford or Shrewsbury. How do you like them Scallops?”
Herefordshire farmer Bill Board told us, “At first I wasn’t sure. I’m a beef farmer but now I’ve got a herd of Mackerel. Once I’d got used to it I realised it’s pretty much the same thing really. And, you don’t have to put your hand up a Mackerels back side like you do with a cow.”
A local councillor told us, “Obviously this is a bit of a departure from the norm but we’re sure people will adapt. People spend a fortune visiting Venice and now it’s possible to sail a gondola from Cardiff to Shrewsbury we expect a tourism boom.”
If the plans are successful then the Government sees no reason why they can’t be rolled out to the rest of the UK. On insider told us that the whole of Wales could be converted to a fishing ground. By 2025 it is expected that the north of England will be turned over to the whaling industry.