Rochdale family whose Ryanair flight has been cancelled yet to notice difference in service
A Rochdale family who were due to fly with Ryanair to Alicante this week have had their flight cancelled. The family have told the Herald...
EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…
Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
New EU rules send shock waves through the terraces
New EU rules are set to send shock waves through the football terraces of the UK.
According to sources close to the FA, the...
Government reveals latest cohort of “freak and misfit” advisors
The Government has announced that it has recruited some more "freaks and weirdos" as advisors following the resignation of noted weirdo, Andrew Sabisky.
A spokesman...
Cumbrian Man hospitalised after lethal exposure to Vitamin D
The recent weather worries in Cumbria worsened this morning, after 12 minutes of unseasonable partial sunshine exposed a fell walker to lethal levels of...
Fears grow for BBC Explorer missing in Oldham
The alarm was raised today after BBC documentary maker and explorer Professor Robert Falcon failed to emerge from Oldham after missing his rendezvous with...
Boris Johnson’s Hair and Trump’s Hair to have Puppies
In a stunning announcement today it was revealed, that Boris Johnson's hair impregnated Donald Trump's hair a few months ago.
Boris Johnson revealed this morning...
Considerate driver sold BMW by mistake
A car dealership Mike's Motors in Bolton said there were "lessons to be learned"after a careful and considerate driver was allowed to drive away...
Ireland wakes up in South Atlantic after all-night craic.
The island of Ireland had braced itself for the oncoming of storm Ophelia in the best Irish tradition, with a night of craic and...
Gary Glitter to crowdfund trip to Thailand
Popular paedophile, Gary Glitter is alleged to be considering crowdfunding a trip to Thailand for when he gets out of prison.
A spokesperson said, "The...
Scientists confirm that builder’s tea is just tea
A team of scientists from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that builder's tea is, in fact, just tea.
Clarence Tetley,...
Torquay becomes UK Hate Capital overnight
A new survey of social attitudes out earlier today has revealed that Torquay has turned into the Hate Capital of the UK overnight after...
Amber Rudd becomes Secretary at Home
Amber Rudd today denied she had resigned as Home Secretary, and claimed she had simply renegotiated the job title and specification.
"I have agreed...
Patio chair braces himself for Storm Brian
A patio chair in Milnrow is bracing himself for an absolutely terrible few days after news that yet another storm with high winds is...
McDonald’s launches monster fatburger
Lard-loving fast food fanatics McDonald's made the announcement immediately following the news that London's sewers have been blocked by vast deposits of insoluble grease.
The...
Storm Eleanor wreaks havoc after gate left open on wind farm
Met Office issues "risk to life" warnings with wind speeds over 80mph expected overnight.
It has been revealed that Storm Eleanor, the latest storm to...
