Piss levels dangerously low after 2016 took it all – study finds

0
A study into the efficiency of waste management facilities across the UK has revealed a dramatic decline in the levels of liquid waste being...

Tories announce mass culling of Wombles

Animal rights protesters were today up in arms after the news that the culling of Wombles is to go ahead as recent indications suggest...

We want to control our own borders! As long as our borders stay in...

0
Today small minded people up and down the land were in uproar as rumours that the cheese eating surrender monkeys want the English border...

Virgin customers asked to dig deep for pensioner’s destroyed home

0
Devastated pensioner Richard Branson, whose home was destroyed by Hurricane Irma, has been overwhelmed by Virgin product customers who have agreed to continue to...

I wouldn’t rape a fat woman, I have standards – says Trump

Thousands of Republican voters suffered serious head injuries yesterday after face palming themselves really hard during a Trump Rally.

In absence of dragons, brave knight slays thousands of poor, disabled and homeless

0
Albion; pleasant, fair and green In the year of our Lord, 2020 Dragons were few and seldom seen, Yet poor folk were a plenty   Though dragons were vanquished...
Die Hard 2

Gatwick drone operators arrested after shootout at abandoned church and ski-doo chase across frozen...

0
A team of former special-forces mercenaries have been arrested in connection with the criminal use of drones which has caused the widespread disruption to...
Ryanair

Calling people a Black Bastard is a term of endearment, says Ryanair racist

0
A man who was filmed saying racist things to a black grandma on a Ryanair flight this week has said that calling her a...
Man in tree with chainsaw

Sheffield Council misunderstand the word ‘Socialist’

0
Sheffield council yesterday accepted they had fundamentally misunderstood the concept of 'socialism'.  Following a vehement rejection by local residents of their plan to cut down...
Geese

New £50 note to be made of foie gras

0
In a surprise move, it was revealed today that the new £50 note is to be made of foie gras. The announcement comes as...

Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP

Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.
Mum Laundry

Busy Mum of four in TWO-wash SHOCK

Working Mum-of-two Linda Green, 43, sorted, washed, dried and folded TWO full loads of laundry yesterday thanks to the heatwave that has swept through...

Prince Philip in grim reaper racist remark gaffe

5
Hospital staff were apparently left flabbergasted at the Duke of Edinburgh's casually racist remarks during a recent impromptu visit by Death, the harvester of...

Belfast Orange walk to become 24k Gold walk

4
The annual Orange walk of Belfast's protestant population is to take place this weekend and is expected to reveal itself now as a 24K...
Daily Mail Readers

Daily Mail readers hospitalised after inhaling EU migrant gas at Birling Gap

0
Over one hundred patriotic Daily Mail readers were hospitalised yesterday after inhaling toxic EU migrant gas while innocently sea siding at Birling Gap. The weather...
Gritter

Morons wondering why blizzard wasn’t averted by thin layer of salt

0
Millions of morons across the UK were left perplexed when a thin layer of salt didn't prevent their cars getting stuck in 3 feet...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts