En Suite

Pretentious couple install extra place to pooh in house for £20,000

A pretentious couple from Rochdale have installed another place to have a pooh in their house, for some reason. Steve and Barbara Dickinson have revealed...

Sick Home Sec sacked?

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Home Sec Diane Abbott has been off sick since cancelling her appearance on Woman's Hour yesterday but has she been sacked? Jeremy Corbyn was giving...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn urges Labour MP’s to get behind Theresa May or risk making him...

0
Jeremy Corbyn has told Labour MP's that they had better get behind Theresa May and her, "And then there were none" vision of Brexit...
Hippy shit

Two kids remember something – proves some hippy shit totally

0
With all the scientific rigour of a hippy Merlin with a bone through his nose, the BBC headlines recently included the assertion that the...
Red moon

Northerners scared by red moon consult wise woman and prepare sacrifices

0
Looking outside last night millions of British citizens were confronted by the moon appearing enlarged and glowing a curious red. Whilst most people south of...
Bank entrance

Remain scaremongering smells likes truthmongering admits Mark Carney following sniff test

14
Mark Carney, Governor of the Bank of England, the place where they invent money, has admitted that remain campaigners accused of scaremongering may actually...

Virgin customers asked to dig deep for pensioner’s destroyed home

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Devastated pensioner Richard Branson, whose home was destroyed by Hurricane Irma, has been overwhelmed by Virgin product customers who have agreed to continue to...

Unemployed mother on benefits knocked up AGAIN

310
It's all over social media that an unemployed mother on state benefits, who already has two kids, is knocked up yet again.
The Stig

Muslim women swap burkas for Stig costumes, to appeal to middle aged white men

0
A new experimental initiative has seen numerous British Muslim women swap their traditional full face veils for an outfit made popular by Top Gear's...

Quentin Letts launches #StopFundingReasonableness campaign

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Quentin Letts, which is a name you may have heard, without actually knowing what it is, is apparently a man, and not an upper...
Nuclear explosion

May denies knee-jerk policy reaction to Trident misfire

0
Sources at Number 10 today denied that there was any connection between elements of Theresa May's new industrial strategy and the colossal Trident balls-up...
Begging

Beggars fined for begging to pay begging fines

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Vulnerable homeless people are now being forced into longer begging hours to pay the newly introduced fines for begging. In another PR triumph for...
Tony Blair

We must reverse historic mistake, says irreversible historic mistake

0
Everyone in the world looked at each other and asked "what the hell" yesterday after the temerity of a former political leader's comments on...
Checkout

Environment saved and global warming halted as Rochdale man takes own carrier bag to...

Environmentalists have conceded that the environment has been saved and the ice caps are no longer melting after a Rochdale man remembered to take...
James Hewitt

James Hewitt ‘THRILLED’ at Prince Harry’s engagement to Megan Markle

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James Hewitt has said he's 'thrilled' at the announcement of the engagement of Prince Harry to 'some sort from America'. "Many people don't know this,...

Christmas ruined as Santa fails CRB check

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Christmas may be cancelled as Santa has failed to get his CRB check renewed. The revelation came last night when a Government Spokesperson said, "Santa...

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