Burkha

MP’s staff to wear burkas in effort to make them less alluring to MP’s

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MP's have demanded that a new dress code be brought in for their staff to make them less alluring sexually. It's hoped that the...

Unemployed mother on benefits knocked up AGAIN

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It's all over social media that an unemployed mother on state benefits, who already has two kids, is knocked up yet again.
McDonald's

McDonald’s launches monster fatburger

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Lard-loving fast food fanatics McDonald's made the announcement immediately following the news that London's sewers have been blocked by vast deposits of insoluble grease. The...

New London Development Announced

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With todays news that the Calais Jungle has been cleared of filthy asylum seekers, the ramshackle dwellings have immediately been occupied by an even...

Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus

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Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...

Man that spent last month saying all lives matter furious at 3 million Hong...

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A Rochdale man that has just spent a month telling anyone within earshot or on the internet that all lives matter has said he's...

Prince Harry condemned for turning up to fancy dress party dressed as Paul Hollywood

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The world had thought that William's half-brother and something-or-other in line to the throne's days of causing controversy were over. But today, a new...
Fox hunting

If we didn’t hunt foxes, horses would only do it themselves

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An avid fox hunter has spoken out against the notion that his chosen 'sport' is in any way cruel to fox, hound or horse. Sir...

Tim Farron’s Andrew Neil interview cancelled for Bake off

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Tim Farron has been left looking sheepish in his chair after Andrew Neil cancelled the Liberal Democrat leader's interview just moments into the opening statement. Neil interrupted...

Pink shirts are all the rage, says man who left red sock in washing...

A bloke who only wears pink shirts now is insisting that they are all the rage having washed all of his white clothes with...
Ant and Dec

Ant and Dec to host Coronavirus Daily Update

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Following the news that The Daily Coronavirus Update is losing viewers faster than America is running out of MolotovCocktails, BBC producers have paid an undisclosed...
Theresa May

Theresa May breaks fingernail as her grip on power weakens

Government manicurists today rushed to Theresa May's aid following a nail injury, frantically claiming it was merely "chipped varnish". As finger after taloned finger...

Parents of nativity play’s King Herod unsure what this says about their parenting

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A Rochdale teacher has been telling the Herald about how this year's school nativity has been dogged by endless controversy. The teacher, who asked not...

Government announce plans to build new homes for immigrants on Rockall

Yesterday, far off of anyone's radar and while the teacup storm over Jeremy Corbyn's recent train journey reached stratospheric new heights, the UK government...

Stonehenge to be knocked down to make way for new Super-Mosque

Details leaked from an article due to be published in the Daily Mail show plans to bulldoze the famous neolithic landmark to make way...

Special D-Day edition of Daily Mail includes special pull out of it supporting fascism...

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The Daily Mail has revealed its very special D-Day supplement today. The supplement will be available this weekend and looks back to a time...

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