unhappy man

Proper Patriots furious about Po Ling Day

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Patriots across Ingerlaand are furious today after hearing that it's Po Ling Day. “Why we celebrating some bleeding foreigner, eh?” spat Rochdale UKIP supporter Arthur...
riot police 2

Police urge Burnley residents not to report sightings of fruit and veg in shops

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Police in Burnley have been inundated with 999 calls after shops started stocking fresh fruit and veg. Rumours that local shops had been taking secret...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson spotted on side of M25 after wheels and doors fall off car

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Reports have reached the Rochdale Herald that Boris Johnson was spotted by the side of the M25 yesterday waiting for a recovery truck. One witness...

We mess with clothes sizing to mess with your heads shops tell women

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Leading women's clothing shop owners have said they stock clothes with inconsistent sizing to mess with women's heads. One leading shop owner said, "We deliberately...
Man with lizard face

Britain First Announces Pact With Lizard People

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Britain First, the right-wing political party for twats of all ages, has announced a revolutionary partnership with The Lizard People, a secretive reptilian group of aliens...
Bank of England

Government promises next batch of fivers ‘will be halal’

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There was an outpouring of fury earlier this week from vegetarians, vegans and religious groups as it was revealed that our new £5 notes...

Santa slams rumours that he doesn’t exist as “fake news”

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Father Christmas of North Pole fame is said to be fuming like a well mulled wine after a rumour has spread that he doesn't...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove escaped ‘after gate left open’

Whitehall: A Conservative cabinet minister who went on the loose for about six hours after escaping from his enclosure has been safely recaptured. The animal,...

Rolf Harris to paint The Queen again for TV comeback special

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Former popular television presenter to repaint Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth following release from prison. Rolf Harris, 87, is rumoured to be looking at the possibility...

Anti-peerage remoaner experiences Damascene Conversion on House of Lords

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Longtime liberal anti-peerage system remoaner Steve Dickinson has experienced a miraculous Road to Damascus Moment.  For years local libtard Steve Dickinson has posted memes about...
Ambulance Katie Hopkins

Katie Hopkins hospitalised after choking on apology to Muslim

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Katie Hopkins was driven slowly to hospital yesterday after choking on the word "sorry" while typing a court ordered apology to the Mahmoud family.
Kirkcaldy

Scotsman wakes to sobering horror that he lives in Kirkcaldy

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A Scotsman has been telling people of the dawning horror that he still lives in Kirkcaldy. A reporter for The Rochdale Herald Scotland edition said,...

Lexicographers confirm Jeremy Hunt now officially rhyming slang for idiot.

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Those remarkably eloquent phonetician's over at WANCOff (The Wordsmiths, Arithmeticians and Number Crunchers Office) have enjoyed the last few years of Conservative Government. Over this...

UKIP elect Diane James leader

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UKIP have elected Diane James as their new leader. Apologies for our previous article that featured Mick Jagger from The Rollong Stones. Our intern Douglas has...

Unemployed mother on benefits knocked up AGAIN

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It's all over social media that an unemployed mother on state benefits, who already has two kids, is knocked up yet again.
Houses of Parliament

Boost for NHS as Government pledges 50% of uncollected change from vending machines over...

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The NHS received a much needed boost today, after Number 10 kindly pledged to plough a sizeable portion of uncollected change from all Government...

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