Heart Attack

What do you mean bride’s father pays? Asks Meghan Markle’s father before heart attack

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It's been suggested that Meghan Markle's dad had a heart attack shortly after being told that the brides father should pay for his daughters...
Pensioners

It’s not our fault you can’t afford a house, say Thatcherite geriatrics to younger...

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British geriatrics were claiming victory this afternoon in the long held ‘it was better in the old days’ debate against younger demographics. Research released by...
Demolition

Council demolish victim’s home to erect memorial garden for dead burglar

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In a surprise move today London councillors have confirmed plans to demolish the home of 78 year old Mr Osborn-Brooks and in its place...

Peter Andre to press Brexit Button

As part of her Key Note speech to the Conservative Party Conference today Theresa May is set to announce this explosive coup for the...

Corbyn’s cat is a Tory

28
Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn has confirmed his long held suspicions that his pet cat is a died in the wool, cast iron Tory. Corbyn...

Paul Golding’s Prison-a-thon raises £5,000 for The Refugee Council

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On an uncharacteristically serious note we'd like to thank each and every person who has donated or otherwise supported Paul's campaign for The Refugee Council.

Dirty Politics

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Britain's next Prime Minister is guaranteed to be female but what most people don't know yet is that only one of the contenders will...

Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment

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A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.  Bill Board told us, "It was last...
Children Christmas Presents

Thank you for supporting Satire Aid – 26,000 presents worth £175,000

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The numbers are now in for Satire Aid's Big Fat Secret Santa appeal. Together the readers of The Rochdale Herald, NewsThump, Angry People in...

Labour Party pledge to make it cheaper for young people to get stabbed on...

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The Labour Party has announced a new policy that will allow young people to get stabbed on night buses much more cheaply. Labour spokesman, Stan...

Farage to become economic migrant.

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Sources close to the MEP, would be ambassador and professional Admiral Ackbar lookalike Nigel Farage, say he is close to moving the the USA. Apparently...

Little Chef Change All Breakfasts To ‘Pork-Free’ After Complaints by ‘Foreigners’.

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British roadside dining legends Little Chef have decided to make all their breakfasts, including their famous ‘All Day Breakfast’, entirely pork-free following a campaign...

Shipping alert as Monster Fatberg spotted in Caribbean

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The Caribbean is facing more misery this week as islanders struggle to deal with the destruction left in the wake of Hurricane Irma. What has...
Business

Labour lose 30 seats in boundary adjustment, laugh Tories

The Conservative Party and the conservative government have denied that the electoral boundary change proposals are an attempt to ensure a Conservative advantage. "It's just...

Duke of Edinburgh embroiled in food poisoning compensation scam

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The Duke of Edinburgh is reported to have become embroiled in a food poisoning compensation scam scandal today just hours after being discharged from...

Britain Not Full – claim small group of enochlophobia sufferers

Today, a small group of enochlophobia sufferers have spoken out to declare Britain is NOT full. A spokesman for 'Enochlophobia Martyrs for the Prevention of...

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