Man buying a wheel

I suppose we better start our Christmas shopping, say men

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Men all over the world are reluctantly conceding that now might be a good time to start their Christmas shopping. "If I start shopping at...
David Davis

New train timetables also a massive success, confirms Davis

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The imposition of sweeping timetable changes on Britain's railways for the first time in 17 years has been an unmitgated success, it has been...
Mutineers

Daily Telegraph releases images of MPs it thinks should wear EU flag armbands

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The Daily Telegraph has today released photos of the M.P's it says should wear arm bands that signify their mutineer status. The paper says that...

Praise for latest ‘uncomfortable’ experience as Ryanair continue Doctor Who themed flights

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Ryanair CEO, and Doctor Who Super Fan, Michael O'Leary reaffirms airline's commitment to the BBC series Budget airline Ryanair continues to work round the BBC...

Queen’s festive question for Balmoral faithful

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Her Majesty The Queen has returned to the Balmoral Estate to spend time with her family over the Christmas holiday and will be attending...
Thatcher Statue

Statue of Thatcher on horseback trampling a miner to be placed in Orgreave

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This week MPs have debated in parliament for the commission of a statue to commemorate the former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. The original proposal of...

Nuttall lost close personal election in Stoke

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Tragedy stricken leader of UKIP, Paul Nuttall (105), faced fresh disaster yesterday when he lost a close personal election in Stoke. "Everything was looking good,...
Socks and a tie on Rochdale man's Christmas list

Paul Golding Christmas Carol

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Jingle Bells My cell smells It's gloomy and its rank I only pissed some Muslims off Now I'm sitting in the tank. Hey Jingle Bells This is hell I don't think...

Cannabis legalisation could mean users run out of things to talk about within 24...

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Experts are tonight warning that Britain's stoner community could run out of things to talk about in as little as 24 hours. The warnings...
shaking hands

DUP B.U.N.G. to be funded through NI contributions

British Unity Nationally Guaranteed Treasury Minister Terry Axe announced today that British Unity Nationally Guaranteed (aka B.U.N.G.) payments will start shortly as part of delivering...

It’s a Christmas Miracle says Rochdale Man who needed nineteen pairs of new socks

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A Rochdale Man who was running dangerously low on half price Pringle socks from TK Maxx has praised friends and relatives for stepping in and buying him almost two dozen pairs for Christmas.
William and Kate

Prince William criticises social media firms about fake news to cover up numerous affairs...

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Prince William has appeared at the BBC and spoken out against the inaction of social media firms. He said in a statement statement that...

Little Chef Change All Breakfasts To ‘Pork-Free’ After Complaints by ‘Foreigners’.

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British roadside dining legends Little Chef have decided to make all their breakfasts, including their famous ‘All Day Breakfast’, entirely pork-free following a campaign...
Wetherspoons

Wetherspoons to rebrand as “Special Circle of Hell”

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Pub chain Wetherspoons is to re-brand as the Special Circle of Hell following an endorsement by EU President Donald Tusk. A spokesman for the company...

William and Catherine’s third child expected to hatch in April

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Kensington palace said the breeding pair were “delighted” to be adding to their lounge and already have two hatchlings: Prince George, four, and his younger sister Charlotte, two.

Peter Andre to press Brexit Button

As part of her Key Note speech to the Conservative Party Conference today Theresa May is set to announce this explosive coup for the...

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