Corbyn’s cat is a Tory
Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn has confirmed his long held suspicions that his pet cat is a died in the wool, cast iron Tory.
Corbyn...
Corbyn train lie proves case for nationalisation
After it was revealed today that Jeremy Corbyn lied about having to sit on the floor of a train he claimed was ram packed,...
Monster fatberg found in Boris Johnson’s head
A monster fatberg the size of two double decker buses has been found inside the head of rotund foreign secretary Boris Johnson, Trev Panning,...
Theresa May Fumbles For Pin For Grenade She Shoved Up Her Ass
Theresa May is reported to be surrounded by a Bomb Disposal Unit this evening after the discovery of an unexploded grenade inside her ass.
The...
Prince Philip is ‘perfectly fine’ Palace assures public
HRH Prince Philip was straight back to work today insulting foreigners just three days after being released from hospital.
Palace officials were quick to point...
Microsoft worker takes Apple to court
Yesterday, a Microsoft employee allegedly got a dressing down from High Court judge, the Right Honorable Justice Antony Smyth-Tomkinson. The employee who we cannot...
Prime Minister to help poor by donating fox meat to food banks
Theresa May has today unveiled plans to improve the diet of malnourished children in areas with high levels poverty.
"This is a great policy that kills...
More Guardian Subscriptions Cancelled Over Fresh Crossword Slur
Following yesterday's scandal that saw literally units of enraged Scotts cancelling their subscriptions, The Guardian's simple crossword this morning poured fresh fuel onto the...
Boris Johnson discovers he’s won half a speedboat at Chequers
Boris Johnson, Michael Gove and David Davis have won half a speedboat at the Conservative Party away day at Chequers today. The trio were...
Marrying melanin maddens media more than molesting minors
As news broke that Harry and Meghan have decided to quit their jobs to spend less time with their family, the country braced itself...
Town of Hamelin hire Anna Soubry to rid itself of Problem Gammons
Hamelin Town Hall has announced today that they have struck a deal with Anna Soubry to end their problems with flocks of Gammons in...
SAS chiefs approach Liberal Democrats for tips on staying out of sight.
It has been revealed today that bosses of the Special Air Service, or SAS, the British special forces, attempted to contact the Liberal Democrat...
Arsehole doesn’t know he’s an arsehole
An absolute arsehole is blissfully unaware that everybody thinks he's an arsehole.
Dave Bloke, 42 and a bit from Rochdale, somehow still thinks people like...
Extra hour…or do we lose one? Anyway clock change thingy happens
The half of the nation whose oven clocks are correct swapped places with the half whose oven clocks are an hour or twelve out...
Women who can close car doors can crash cars too, chuckles Duke of Edinburgh
Palace sources reveal Philip's delight at Meghan's unusual approach to royal protocol
Arriving at the Royal Academy of Arts to attend her first solo event...
Piled rubbish masks smell of Birmingham city
Birmingham city council, has for the past few weeks been in the grips of a public sector strike. Birmingham’s ‘bin men’ are demanding fairer/higher...
