Another Russian bloke Putin doesn’t like poisoned a coincidence, confirms Kremlin and Dorset police
The country has breathed a sigh of relief after Wiltshire Constabulary indicated that they had not had to deploy their counter-terrorism unit, it has...
Sports Direct working practices review.
In the face of a shareholder revolt, retail giant Sports Direct is to drag its working practices kicking and screaming into the 1920's.
Following a...
Larry the Downing Street Cat responds to allegations of sexual misconduct: These stories are...
Disgraced veteran mouser Larry the Downing Street Cat on Friday admitted to allegations of sexual misconduct that were levelled against him earlier in the...
Nation Ecstatic As Dapper Laughs Finally Disappears Up Own Arse
Finally some good news! The nation was overcome with emotion today as positive confirmation came through that sexual assault based 'comedian' and professional pick...
Scone versus scone pronunciation debate hits 14th consecutive hour
It's National Cream Tea Day, which means across the nation the fine china is taken off the Welsh dresser and selections of finger sandwiches...
Tommy Robinson makes full recovery from racism after being diagnosed with Luton intolerance
Many people are unaware that their bodies won't tolerate Luton. But being Luton sensitive shouldn't stop you from living a healthy, happy life. Whilst...
Relief for constipated Dog after long search for the perfect spot leads to Downing...
There was massive relief for the owner of a constipated dog today, as their long search for the perfect dumping spot finally ended in...
‘Just a phase’ movement finally represented at London Gay Pride
In another great victory for liberal tolerance, the much maligned "just a phase" movement will be properly recognised at tomorrow's London Pride.
In between...
Scientists confirm that builder’s tea is just tea
A team of scientists from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that builder's tea is, in fact, just tea.
Clarence Tetley,...
Brits shocked that Brexit is getting the blame for everything
The whole of the United Kingdom are reeling from the revelation that the EU referendum has been responsible for every bad thing that has...
Splendid Afros distance themselves from Diane Abbott
Splendid Afros around the world have taken to Twitter to condemn Diane Abbot for being a complete idiot.
Diane Abbot was interviewed on the Andrew...
Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers
The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...
Someone on Instagram has poached an egg
According to widespread reports somebody on Instagram has only gone and poached an egg.
Rumours are spreading that the egg poacher may have in fact...
Angry northerner rises up against culture of Fake Brews
A Lancastrian man fed up with the culture of 'fake brews' currently sweeping the nation has took it upon himself to show the masses...
Britain’s oldest man, Paul Nuttall, has died.
Sir Paul Nuttall, VC, OBE, Ph.D, passed away peacefully in his sleep yesterday, hours before his 108th birthday.
Sir Paul was the first man to...
Women overcome by raw sexuality of man undercooking chicken on BBQ
Emergency services were called to a barbecue at a property in northern Lancashire this afternoon after dozens of women came over "a bit funny"...
