Pink shirts are all the rage, says man who left red sock in washing...
A bloke who only wears pink shirts now is insisting that they are all the rage having washed all of his white clothes with...
First shipment of thoughts and prayers arrive for those made homeless by Grenfell Fire
The first shipment of thoughts and prayers has arrived in Kensington to be distributed amongst those left homeless by the fire that destroyed Grenfell Tower one week ago.
Daily Mail photo editor awarded the Iron Cross
The chief photo editor for The Daily Mail has been awarded the Iron Cross this afternoon.
A spokesman for The Daily Mail said, "This award...
I’m unlikely to put up with your shit much longer, cat tells owner after...
A 4 year old black and white cat from Twickenham has told its owner Steve that "It's pretty fucking unlikely that I will be...
Branson to be Stripped of Knighthood & Awarded “The Icepick of the People” in...
John McDonnell has branded British capitalist lapdog Sir Richard Branson an "enemy of the People" who "undermines Democracy & the Will of the People"...
Super hunter chilli Yorkie ice cream man-bar ultra plus released for aggressive thrusting straight...
In a bid to expand on the non-gay male ice cream market, a new extreme sports cryogenic experience for man men is being launched.
It...
Middle-class mums save planet by driving to Waitrose in massive Range Rovers to buy...
Middle class mums all over the Home Counties are being credited with a reversal to the effects of Global Warming after tens of thousands...
Brexit Halloween Threat
Preparations for the commercialisation of an ancient pagan tradition were thrown into disarray today when importers of Halloween costumes reported that due to poor...
London’s last affordable plumber shot by poachers
London's last surviving affordable plumber has been killed by poachers in Clapham, according to a conservation group that protects a dwindling group of reliable...
Sturgeon gives birth to kittens as court rules Scottish Parliament won’t be consulted on...
Nicola Sturgeon is recovering after unexpectedly going into labour and giving birth to a litter of kittens at Holyrood this afternoon.
First Briton shocks Britain First
Researchers from London's natural history Museum have presented the results of analysis of DNA from 'Cheddar Man', Britain's oldest complete skeleton, prompting a spokesman...
You could always smother a grandparent for a house deposit, Banks advise first time...
First time buyers struggling to raise the funds for a house deposit are being advised to smother an elderly relative for the inheritance by...
Barclays customer sent to Guantanamo after overdraft complaint
A Rochdale man has been kidnapped by US intelligence services and sent to Guantanamo Bay after he complained to his local Barclays Bank about...
Survey finds UK’s pub chat and sense of humour at risk of extinction
Social scientists have revealed a study that shows a correlation between the decline in the British sense of humour and decline in pub chat.
Dr...
City banker in sponsored sleep out confident he understands homelessness
You just get such a sense of the hardship, and how it could be addressed by just taking a little more personal responsibility
After taking...
Theresa May announces Leyland Daf to build next generation Brexit-fighter in Preston
Theresa May has announced that the UK will be leaving the Eurofighter Programme immediately. BAE Systems will be closing its Eurofighter factory in the...
