Thatcher stole my birthright, says man earning 100k a year
As the 40th anniversary of Margaret Thatcher's first election looms, we met Gordon Ottershaw (49) of Wetherby who maintains Thatcher stole his ability to...
Man in spoiler covered Vauxhall Zafira admits life hasn’t turned out as hoped
Warning: This article contains spoilers.
Henry Profiterole, 35, was recently forced to admit that he had covered his 10 year old Vauxhall Zafira with slogans...
Animals vote that MPs can’t feel pain or emotion
Following rejection by Parliament of the EU treaty to recognise animals as sentient beings, The Rochdale Herald has learned of a reaction by the...
Theresa May demands everyone gets behind flat Earth theory
Theresa May is to urge Tory delegates to get behind her theory that the Earth is actually flat.
Mrs May is telling everyone they need...
Government’s Brexit White Paper revealed
The hotly anticipated government White Paper on Brexit was released this week to an explosion of love juice from the editors of the Mail...
Donald Trump declares Buckingham Palace ‘shit hole’ and offers to pay for repairs.
After a petition to stop the orange Hitler visiting the Queen passed 1.7 million signatures, the tyrannical dictator offered to meet the new President...
Retailers unconcerned by “Buy Nothing Day”
UK retailers were left smirking knowingly today as momentum gathered for the Buy Nothing Day campaign, being run on the same day as Black...
Prince Harry gets job as Prince Harry look-alike
Prince Harry has a new job as a Prince Harry look-alike in Canada.
His new boss told us, "There's a lot of attention on Prince...
Pope to beatify Katie Hopkins after death of her reputation…
The Pope has announced that Katie Hopkins will be made a saint shortly, after her reputation sadly died last week.
Hopkins's reputation went into an...
Michael Fish assures Virgin Island residents that “no hurricane on the way”
Famous weather broadcaster Michael Fish has moved to reassure British Virgin Island residents that there isn't going to be another hurricane hitting them.
However he...
Man who said homeopathy should be available on the NHS attends first chemistry lesson
The man who said that Homeopathy should have a place on the NHS as it compliments science based medicine as they both come from...
Cocker Spaniel has reasonable and sensible response to doorbell
Reports are coming in that a cocker spaniel has had a perfectly reasonable and sensible reaction to somebody ringing the doorbell.
The incident occurred when...
Corbyn to sell your cat to pay for a statue of Lenin, confirms BBC
The BBC has confirmed that should Jeremy Corbyn win the General Election he intends to sell peoples cats to fund a statue of Lenin.
The...
John Lewis advert “Darkly Sinister”
John Lewis, purveyors of things that ultimately no one needs or wants, has made everything better with a darkly sinister tale about a black...
Britain WARNED to expect seasonally COLD WEATHER in winter AGAIN
The UK has been warned that parts of the country could get a bit colder now that it is December for the billionth year...
May to offer Britain complete break from Boris Johnson
In a last ditch attempt to win the X Factor vote tonight,the PM today took the unusual but popular step to separate Boris Johnson...
