Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus
Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...
David Blunkett confirms he’s still blind following driving test
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively confirm that David Blunkett is still blind. Mr Blunkett confirmed the findings of his most recent eye sight test...
Bus drivers distraught they can’t lose shit when given a fiver due to increased...
Bus drivers distraught they can't lose their shit when given a fiver, due to increased ticket prices.
Up and down the country local bus drivers...
CRISIS as supermarkets RUN OUT of fancy tonic forcing MIDDLE CLASS to drink OWN...
The sunny weather forecast for the bank holiday weekend has led to panic buying of certain summer essentials. There have been reports of chronic...
British Firewall totally not about censorship and spying, says head of spying and censorship...
GCHQ, the British spy agency that is regularly exposed for bugging our phones and nicking our online data to spy on us, has announced...
Met office issue ice warning in winter
As weather experts issue yet another ice warning the people of the North West have told The Rochdale Herald that they actually don't give...
Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed
Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed.
After five engineer visits, four no-shows and five hours calling BT, Labour...
London celebrates first “Gammon Pride” event
Scotland Yard and the Met Police are bracing for potential violent clashes at a "Gammon Pride" event being held in London today.
The event will...
Police force man to remove clothing on Rochdale beach
Photographs have emerged of armed police confronting a diver on Rochdale's now notorious Stansfield Beach. In this most recent effort to enforce new laws...
Prince Philip and Queen Elizabeth facing deportation post Brexit
An Emergency meeting was called at Buckingham palace earlier this week after the penny dropped with Prince Philip in regards to Brexit and complications with European immigration
"Oh...
NHS crisis averted after 33,500 nurses found down back of sofa
Whitehall: There has been widespread relief around the UK after reports that the deepening staffing crisis in the NHS has been averted after tens...
Michael Gove escaped ‘after gate left open’
Whitehall: A Conservative cabinet minister who went on the loose for about six hours after escaping from his enclosure has been safely recaptured.
The animal,...
SAS chiefs approach Liberal Democrats for tips on staying out of sight.
It has been revealed today that bosses of the Special Air Service, or SAS, the British special forces, attempted to contact the Liberal Democrat...
New train timetables also a massive success, confirms Davis
The imposition of sweeping timetable changes on Britain's railways for the first time in 17 years has been an unmitgated success, it has been...
First Briton shocks Britain First
Researchers from London's natural history Museum have presented the results of analysis of DNA from 'Cheddar Man', Britain's oldest complete skeleton, prompting a spokesman...
Council has enough grit
A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the...
