Town centres full of fat topless pricks for some reason
Town centres are chock full of topless, pasty white fat pricks for some reason according to sources.
For some reason thousands upon thousands of fat...
Royal Mail agrees to launch new £6 first class Brexit stamp
The Royal Mail have announced a special stamp to commemorate Brexit today. The stamp will be a first class stamp and cost £6.
The Daily...
Forecasters predict Christmas will be a fraught and expensive ordeal
Economic experts are forecasting that Christmas 2017 will see a double digit percentage increase in cost to the average family, based on a basket...
Man praised for not shitting himself when followed by police car
A Rochdale man was being congratulated today after not completely shitting his pants when a police car followed him round a corner on Saturday...
Boris Johnson spotted on side of M25 after wheels and doors fall off car
Reports have reached the Rochdale Herald that Boris Johnson was spotted by the side of the M25 yesterday waiting for a recovery truck.
One witness...
Tories fined £20 million for pumping untreated sewage into people’s brains
The Conservatives are facing a hefty fine after it has been discovered that their manifesto pledges and reassurances over Brexit were found to contain...
New Heathrow runway will make getting to France easier say Brexiteers
The new runway at Heathrow airport will be completed just in time for leading Brexiteer's to use it to leave the country for villa's...
300,000 BMW recalled after being found to contain faulty drivers
BMW has confirmed a second recall of hundreds of thousands of vehicles from UK roads in a year, due to problems with the cars...
The man from Del Monte in critical condition with scurvy
80's TV ad star and renowned juice producer, Derek Monte, was rushed to hospital yesterday and immediately diagnosed with scurvy, a debilitating illness caused...
Kensington and Chelsea Council crowned Royal Rassclart of the Year
In a much needed triumph for the under pressure Conservative party, its leadership of the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea has received recognition...
Software update happens at convenient time
A laptop in an office in Rochdale has undergone a comprehensive software update without completely screwing up his owner’s day.
The laptop, which is an...
Theresa May gets into Christmas spirit by ordering census and slaughtering first born children
Theresa May has finally got into the spirit of Christmas by ordering a massive census of everybody in the UK and slaughtering all of...
Marrying melanin maddens media more than molesting minors
As news broke that Harry and Meghan have decided to quit their jobs to spend less time with their family, the country braced itself...
Scientists Prove Fake News Caused by “A lack of bullying in schools”
Scientists believe they have proven the rise of Fake News is a direct consequence of the decline of bullying in schools.
Professor Andrei Clewsov of...
Replacing Burqa with Stig costume fails due to ‘wrong colour Stig’
As reported yesterday, Muslim women have been on the streets in an adapted version of the burka in an attempt to integrate with middle...
Commie Corbyn pledges to nationalise your teeth
Bearded Trotskyite do-gooder, Jeremy Corbyn has taken a break from sending care packages full of homemade jam to terrorists, to nationalise absolutely everything.
Clueless commie...
