Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution
Put your hands on the car and get ready to die.
Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...
Council has enough grit
A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the...
Arron Banks clarifies that he is being investigated by the National Crime Agency not...
Arron Banks from Leave.EU has today clarified that he didn't finance the vote leave campaign that the Electoral Commission has found guilty of overspending...
That God person is a pervert say parents of transgender kids
A primary school has become the center of a row when it taught religion to transgender pupils.
St Andgreavsey's primary school faced a...
Forecasters predict Christmas will be a fraught and expensive ordeal
Economic experts are forecasting that Christmas 2017 will see a double digit percentage increase in cost to the average family, based on a basket...
Awkward Moment as Someone has to explain what a Joke is to Theresa May
There was an awkward meeting this morning when an assistant to the Prime Minister had to explain to her what a joke was.
This occurred...
Scientists discover creature smaller than Theresa May’s credibility.
Biologists wielding enormous magnifying glasses today discovered a newt thought to be the world's smallest living thing.
This infinitesimal being has been proved by scientists...
Beggars fined for begging to pay begging fines
Vulnerable homeless people are now being forced into longer begging hours to pay the newly introduced fines for begging.
In another PR triumph for...
Ecuadorian embassy reveals Julian Assange has accidentally ordered a trailer tent whilst drunk
The Ecuadorian embassy have put an advert up for the sale of a trailer tent that Julian Assange accidentally ordered whilst drunk.
An embassy employee...
Daily Mail issue apology for calling white mosque shooter a terrorist
There was chaos in The Daily Mail Newsroom this morning as they scrambled to reset copy before going to press after the gunman who...
Rochdale voted town most likely to turn to cannibalism first in post Brexit food...
Success came to Rochdale today as Britain voted and decided that Rochdale was the town most likely to first turn to cannibalism in the...
Babies born in Britain today to hear about home ownership via myths and legends
Researchers from the Rochdale Institute for Social Morphology released today the results of their latest study into the changing oral traditions of the British...
Daily Express unveils new corporate logo
The Daily Express as revealed a new corporate logo today that it says is more in keeping with how it and its readers view...
Parents of school age children feeling no sympathy for teachers as holidays end
Scientists have confirmed that parents of school age children across the United Kingdom feel zero sympathy for teachers as summer holidays crash to an...
Cannabis legalisation could mean users run out of things to talk about within 24...
Experts are tonight warning that Britain's stoner community could run out of things to talk about in as little as 24 hours. The warnings...
Mother persuades her children to eat veg
A hard working mother in West London is so desperate to get her children to eat vegetables she has put out a call for...
