Grant Shapps hires ferry fleet to transport people back to offices
Transport secretary Grant Shapps is so convinced that going back to work in offices is safe, that he has hired a fleet of ferries...
Navy admiral rejects job because he can spot a sinking ship when he sees...
The controversy over the U.S. National Security Advisor position continues as Trump’s most recent nominee for the position, retired vice admiral Robert S Harward, rejected the...
Family dog dutifully tells sleeping baby that there’s somebody at the door
A dutiful family dog has very helpfully informed a sleeping baby that there is somebody at the door.
The seven year old Cocker Spaniel made...
Smart Energy may help me keep job – says National Grid boss
The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw, has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to...
Bloke with neck tattoo does really, really well in job interview
A bloke with a tattoo of a skull on his neck has done really, really well in a job interview today.
Harvey Wallbanger, 22, from...
Farage Security Concern as Public learn sense can be knocked into UKIP MEP
Steven Woolfe, the UKIP MEP, is being hailed as a “Medical Miracle” after becoming the 1st person in history to have had sense knocked into him.
Leave Means Leave to broaden appeal by offering Saga vouchers to young members
Leave Means Leave, the new campaign group for bringing destitution and poverty onto the general UK populace have announced radical new plans to entice...
Be nice to Meghan or we will end up with an old boot –...
The British Press had better be nice to Prince Harry's new girlfriend Meghan Markle or we could end up with "a bat-shit crazy old...
Replacing Burqa with Stig costume fails due to ‘wrong colour Stig’
As reported yesterday, Muslim women have been on the streets in an adapted version of the burka in an attempt to integrate with middle...
RSPCA requests help in tackling dangerous domestic terriers
“No, I don’t care. Show me pictures of abandoned dog toys, show me puppies floating in the water, play violins and show me skinny hounds looking sad. I still don’t care,” said Katie Hopkins.
SHOCK after politician caught watching NORMAL PORN featuring adults
A former Scotland Yard detective has told the Rochdale herald he was "shocked" by the amount of legal pornography viewed on a computer seized...
Fears Thames Beluga whale is a Russian spy
There are fears a Beluga Whale spotted swimming in the River Thames may be a Russian spy. The whale was spotted earlier this week...
Outrage as ban on Christmas turns out to be false
People across the country have expressed outrage in response to the revelation that a ban on Christmas has been revealed to be false.
An image...
Britain First Announces Pact With Lizard People
Britain First, the right-wing political party for twats of all ages, has announced a revolutionary partnership with The Lizard People, a secretive reptilian group of aliens...
Clock in car mysteriously right again
There was befuddlement all over the UK this morning after every motorist in the country reported that the clock in the car is mysteriously...
Trump mobilizes Military to defend against Hurricane Irma with ‘fire and fury’
As hurricane Irma makes it's way west towards the coast of Florida, president Donald Trump has issued a declaration of war on the weather...
