Trump mobilizes Military to defend against Hurricane Irma with ‘fire and fury’
As hurricane Irma makes it's way west towards the coast of Florida, president Donald Trump has issued a declaration of war on the weather...
Theresa May Attempting To Make David Cameron Look Better In Retrospect
Theresa May’s goal as Prime Minister is to ensure that people don’t remember David Cameron’s premiership as the worst in history, it has emerged.
Speaking...
Bears cleared of ‘shitting in the woods’ says watchdog
The independent Bear Complaints Commission has found that there is no evidence that bears are guilty of shitting in the woods.
The misconduct watchdog,...
Meghan Markle nominated for Oscar for her portrayal of woman in love with Prince...
As the New Year approaches rumours are already circulating about next year's Oscar nominations. An early nomination thrown into the frame is Meghan Markle.
The...
Self-aggrandising, egotistical liar meets Donald Trump
Donald Trump was interviewed by self-aggrandising egotist Piers Morgan over the weekend.
Morgan, who likes to pretend to stand for traditional British values such as...
Mel Brooks confirms rework of The Producers starring Donald Trump about to climax
Veteran comic Mel Brooks, 91, has confirmed that his ambitious live action show, The President, will end shortly with a musical impeachment. Speaking at...
People who tell it like it is always bloody cretins, reveal experts
Ground-breaking cooperative research between experts in Linguistics, Social Sciences, and Psychology sheds light on evidence that those who "tell it like it is" are...
That’ll Show Them…
Racists reacted with predictable denial today when faced with the reality that the punishments they frequently recommend for those seeking asylum, immigrants and generally...
Homeworkers mysteriously suntanned
People who work from home are all looking oddly suntanned for people who work at their desks for eight hours a day, leading experts...
Scotland to ban Smack for children
The Scottish government has confirmed that children will no longer be able to use Smack in Scotland.
The move would make the country the first...
Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW
A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that...
Labour lose 30 seats in boundary adjustment, laugh Tories
The Conservative Party and the conservative government have denied that the electoral boundary change proposals are an attempt to ensure a Conservative advantage.
"It's just...
Queen shows solidarity with NHS workers by only accepting 1% pay rise
Her Maj Queen Elizabeth II today graciously accepted a £6m pay increase in order to show solidarity with nurses and teachers.
"I heard that public...
Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Daily Mail photo editor awarded the Iron Cross
The chief photo editor for The Daily Mail has been awarded the Iron Cross this afternoon.
A spokesman for The Daily Mail said, "This award...
Barclays customer sent to Guantanamo after overdraft complaint
A Rochdale man has been kidnapped by US intelligence services and sent to Guantanamo Bay after he complained to his local Barclays Bank about...
