Prince Philip says secret to easy life is having somebody to iron your socks
Everyone is always talking about the youthful composure of our national treasure Prince Phillip. Now his retirement has been announced, the spritely Greek has...
Winter 2016 enters third consecutive year
Meteorologists have confirmed that winter 2016 has entered its third consecutive year.
With more bloody miserable weather forecast officials at the Met Office have concluded...
1000’s of tea plantation jobs go as Yorkshire Tea announces it’s moving production to...
There are fears that thousands of tea plantation workers in Yorkshire could lose their jobs as makers of Yorkshire Tea, Taylors of Harrogate, announced...
Pretentious couple install extra place to pooh in house for £20,000
A pretentious couple from Rochdale have installed another place to have a pooh in their house, for some reason.
Steve and Barbara Dickinson have revealed...
Foreign Office warns tourists not to travel to Iran while Boris is Foreign Secretary
In a move that has rocked the travel industry, British holidaymakers have been banned from travelling to any destination that Boris Johnson has already...
Wise Men slam ‘unreasonable expectations’ as ‘Virgin’ Mary’s first sausage is a foot-long manger...
Some wise men have today hit back at a high street bakers claiming that their 'Foot-Long Sausage Roll' creates unrealistic expectations about baked goods....
Potholes are going to be our next victims, confirms government
A source within the Conservative Party has confirmed today that they plan to murder all of the potholes in the country should they win...
Jesus ‘probably had eczema’
Jesus of Nazareth may have had eczema, dermatologists have found.
New evidence that The Lord suffered from the common skin complaint emerged following fresh analysis...
Being a Menace when you’re called Dennis now about as plausible as being a...
The Beano have announced they are going to change one of their longest running characters names.
Despite its wonderful rhyme, bosses at the...
People who start sentences with ‘I’m not racist, but’ are definitely about to say...
Indeed, not one instance was found of a non-racist comment following "I'm not a racist, but."
Southern Rail and RMT make historic deal
The RMT and Southern Rail have finally called an end to hostilities and announced, to the dismay of passengers, that normal services will resume...
Lexicographers confirm Jeremy Hunt now officially rhyming slang for idiot.
Those remarkably eloquent phonetician's over at WANCOff (The Wordsmiths, Arithmeticians and Number Crunchers Office) have enjoyed the last few years of Conservative Government.
Over this...
May to offer Britain complete break from Boris Johnson
In a last ditch attempt to win the X Factor vote tonight,the PM today took the unusual but popular step to separate Boris Johnson...
Minister of Health and Social care to Employ Doctors From University of Life
Health Minster Stephen Barclay has told of his bold plan to plug the shortfall of doctors within the NHS by employing geniuses from the...
Council has enough grit
A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the...
Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University’s Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
