Microsoft worker takes Apple to court
Yesterday, a Microsoft employee allegedly got a dressing down from High Court judge, the Right Honorable Justice Antony Smyth-Tomkinson. The employee who we cannot...
DUP B.U.N.G. to be funded through NI contributions
British Unity Nationally Guaranteed
Treasury Minister Terry Axe announced today that British Unity Nationally Guaranteed (aka B.U.N.G.) payments will start shortly as part of delivering...
Government promises next batch of fivers ‘will be halal’
There was an outpouring of fury earlier this week from vegetarians, vegans and religious groups as it was revealed that our new £5 notes...
Burnley ‘model’ swaps ‘virginity’ for fish and chip supper
A 19-year old 'model from Burnley has spoken of a dream come true after she swapped her 'virginity' for some fish and chips with...
Band Aid 2016 to raise Buckingham Palace repair costs
A new version of 'Do they Know is Christmas?' has been released in time for the Christmas number one top spot.
The track by Bob...
Oxford English Dictionary finally defines ‘Brexit’
Brexit means Brexit… says Mrs T. May of Downing Street. Her assertion has prompted many people to ask exactly what ‘Brexit’ means. Answers have so far...
First Briton shocks Britain First
Researchers from London's natural history Museum have presented the results of analysis of DNA from 'Cheddar Man', Britain's oldest complete skeleton, prompting a spokesman...
You lost get over it, Jacob Rees-Mogg told
Jacob Rees-Mogg has been told to get over losing the no confidence vote in Theresa May last night.
Mr Rees-Mogg heads the European Research Group...
Let’s get this over with Says Queen
Her Majesty the Queen has today told the government "Let's get this over with. I've got a horse in the 3pm at Ascot".
Her worshipfulness...
Country that burns effigies of a Catholic annually upset by statue damage
A country that in the year of our Lord 2020 still thinks burning Catholics is a family friendly November evening out, is upset by...
Tory Party pledges to attack pot holes now it has defeated the disabled
The Tory Party has declared victory in its war against the disabled and announced it will re-deploy its resources in a war on pot...
Your Mum has a dildo
Children all over the country are coming to terms with the horrifying reality that their Mums have at least one dildo.
Sweaty riot erupts in Leeds after Argos runs out of pedestal fans
As the temperature hits 25C in Leeds sweaty rioters armed with Soleros and Lyon's Maid Choc Ices are rioting in Leeds Centre and are...
Jeremy Corbyn Guarantees Tory Win By Not Jerking Knee
The chance of Conservative Party rule evaporated today. Jeremy Corbyn is to talk about the nuances of foreign policy and its consequences.
"It's an outrage!" stated...
If you loved the Blitz you’ll love Brexit, says Piers Morgan
Piers Morgan has told ITV viewers that if they loved the Blitz they're going to love Brexit.
Morgan made the comments in on Good Morning...
Piers Morgan to be face of ‘Free The Ballbag’ campaign
Piers Morgan has been revealed as the new face of men's rights campaign 'Free the Ballbag'.
Inspired by the feminist 'Free The Nipple' movement, the...
