Climate Change still insisting Donald Trump is a Chinese Conspiracy

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Climate Change has today confirmed that it will continue on its promise to make the Weather Great Again despite the insistence from some it...
Man Relaxing

Man’s life improves after running out of fucks to give

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The life of a Rochdale man has improved immeasurably after he finally ran out of fucks to give. Office manager James Harding, 38, ran...

Angry northerner rises up against culture of Fake Brews

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A Lancastrian man fed up with the culture of 'fake brews' currently sweeping the nation has took it upon himself to show the masses...
En Suite

Pretentious couple install extra place to pooh in house for £20,000

A pretentious couple from Rochdale have installed another place to have a pooh in their house, for some reason. Steve and Barbara Dickinson have revealed...

Arron Banks clarifies that he is being investigated by the National Crime Agency not...

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Arron Banks from Leave.EU has today clarified that he didn't finance the vote leave campaign that the Electoral Commission has found guilty of overspending...

Brexit Plan Turns Out To Be Just David Davis Bragging About His Massive Staff

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The world waited with baited breath for David Davis' speech in which he was expected to reveal the government's plans for exiting the EU....
Boris Johnson

Monster fatberg found in Boris Johnson’s head

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A monster fatberg the size of two double decker buses has been found inside the head of rotund foreign secretary Boris Johnson, Trev Panning,...
Confused Child

Child confused as to why he can’t just accept his school mates for who...

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In a candid interview for the Rochdale Herald, an unnamed child of parents who sincerely believe that their child can somehow be damaged by...
Checkout

Environment saved and global warming halted as Rochdale man takes own carrier bag to...

Environmentalists have conceded that the environment has been saved and the ice caps are no longer melting after a Rochdale man remembered to take...
Queen and Philip

Prince Philip disappointed not to get his own sparkly hat

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The Duke of Edinburgh’s retirement is entirely down to one thing, it would seem. Speculation has been rife ever since the announcement, but now...

Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed

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Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed. After five engineer visits, four no-shows and five hours calling BT, Labour...
Lemmings jumpring from cliff

Lemming suicide myth rebunked

For many years the myth persisted that Lemmus lemmus, known to you and I as the lemming, would inexplicably hurl itself into the abyss...

‘Fuck equality’ says equalities boss

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The chairman of the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) David Isaac made the comment earlier this week; "Everyone is equal and all religions should be...
Wetherspoons

Brexit riots fail after Wetherspoons opens

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A threat to riot if Britain failed to leave the EU on 31st October has failed after branches of Wetherspoons opened as usual this...

BBC Breakfast mix up Sturgeon with Gorilla

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BBC Breakfast has apologised after images of the gorilla Kumbuka, whose recent non-escape filled a slow news day, were shown on screen instead of...

UKIP elect Diane James leader

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UKIP have elected Diane James as their new leader. Apologies for our previous article that featured Mick Jagger from The Rollong Stones. Our intern Douglas has...

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