Your Mum has a dildo

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Children all over the country are coming to terms with the horrifying reality that their Mums have at least one dildo.

Lockheed Martin Trident Vote after party “off the hook”

Details are sketchy at present but apparently the Lockheed Martin Trident Vote after party was absolutely "off the hook". We can only imagine what kind...

Middle aged man now communicating entirely by sighing

Authorities in Lancashire are trying to solve the riddle of a man in Rochdale who is now communicating with the outside world only by...

Daily Express readers desperately hoping new Royal baby is a ginger

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Daily Express readers up and down the country have welcomed the news of Duchess of Sussex's pregnancy by crossing all of their fingers and...

Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters

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Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...

Theresa May speaks to Herald – exclusive!

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The Prime Minister has faced many difficulties over the past weeks - Brexit, terrorist attacks in Manchester and London, a poor election showing and...
Union flag with "Brexit" ove it

“Go Back to where you came from!” -Say 1970’s

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In a shock statement today the 1970's have told 2016 to go back to its own timeline where it belongs.  In July a third of...
Sunshine

Panic on the streets of Rochdale as glowing hot yellow thing appears in the...

7
Panic has hit the streets of Rochdale today as a unidentified glowing hot yellow glowing orb has appeared in the sky. Terrified Rochdale residents yesterday...

Minister of Health and Social care to Employ Doctors From University of Life

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Health Minster Stephen Barclay has told of his bold plan to plug the shortfall of doctors within the NHS by employing geniuses from the...
Amber Rudd

I’m glad she can spend more time with family, says deported Brit who won’t...

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Amber Rudd has resigned as Home Secretary, saying she "inadvertently misled" MPs over which policies of her predecessor, Theresa May, she was continuing to...
Spaniel

Family dog dutifully tells sleeping baby that there’s somebody at the door

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A dutiful family dog has very helpfully informed a sleeping baby that there is somebody at the door. The seven year old Cocker Spaniel made...

Theresa May announces Leyland Daf to build next generation Brexit-fighter in Preston

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Theresa May has announced that the UK will be leaving the Eurofighter Programme immediately. BAE Systems will be closing its Eurofighter factory in the...

Navy admiral rejects job because he can spot a sinking ship when he sees...

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The controversy over the U.S. National Security Advisor position continues as Trump’s most recent nominee for the position, retired vice admiral Robert S Harward, rejected the...
David Cameron

Cameron cronies cry nonsense at cries of Conservative cronyism 

Friends of David Cameron have sprung to his defence today after accusations that his Exit Honours list is an example of cronyism. "Clearly this is...

Man has bought a really big telly and wants to tell you about it

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A man has bought a rather large and very expensive television today. It apparently takes up quite a significant part of his living room and...

Restored Big Ben tests bong to ensure it’s ready for Eid

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Eid al-Fitr is an important religious holiday that marks the end of Ramadan, London's most popular holy month Ramadan is the ninth month of London's...

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