British vegetarians declare tuna a vegetable for the sake of everyone’s sanity on Spanish...
The Royal Society of Being Scared of Food, which has represented vegetarians for over forty years, declared tuna a vegetable today for the purpose...
Satirists across the globe have a day off due to lack of news
The Daily Mash, NewsThump, SNN and The Poke all refused to post content today as world events seemed to have ground a to halt.
"A...
Amber Weather Warning follow reports Northerner is thinking about getting big coat out of...
The Met Office has issued an amber warning for apocalyptic snow and ice overnight after a Northerner was overheard speculating that it might be...
We have no shares in Amazon as Yodel are delivering them, says Justin Welby
Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby has today explained that The Church of England doesn't actually have shares in Amazon as Yodel has never delivered...
Torquay becomes UK Hate Capital overnight
A new survey of social attitudes out earlier today has revealed that Torquay has turned into the Hate Capital of the UK overnight after...
Another Russian bloke Putin doesn’t like poisoned a coincidence, confirms Kremlin and Dorset police
The country has breathed a sigh of relief after Wiltshire Constabulary indicated that they had not had to deploy their counter-terrorism unit, it has...
Everybody wondering where the one car with snow on it came from
Drivers all over the UK are wondering where the hell that one car with snow on it has come from.
"Where on Earth has that...
Mortgage lenders to accept kidneys instead of mortgage deposits for first time buyers
Two mortgage lenders have announced that from 2018 they will accept the harvested organs of buyers with small deposits in a bid to attract...
Prince William fingers Kate in back of hatchback in Rochdale
A sticker showing Prince William and The Duchess of Cambridge along with a depiction of two fingers raised in a V sign has caused...
Theresa May: Donald Trump told me to grab EU by the pussy
Donald Trump told Theresa May that she should "grab the EU by the pussy" rather than ask for its consent, according to an interview...
Rochdale family whose Ryanair flight has been cancelled yet to notice difference in service
A Rochdale family who were due to fly with Ryanair to Alicante this week have had their flight cancelled. The family have told the Herald...
Prince Andrew says he has no recollection of meeting Emily Maitlis or appearing on...
Prince Andrew has denied allegations that he met Emily Maitlis or even appeared on the TV show, Newsnight. Despite over 1 million people having...
Get on smack if you love the Union Jack – patriots demand you inject...
Britain's most patriotic patriots have led calls for everyone in the country to be forced to inject themselves with poppies. The push for proper...
Britain takes back control of its fishing waters and hides them in Shropshire
The Government has revealed that Britain has taken back control of its fishing waters and hidden them in Shropshire.
A spokesman said, "For too long...
Man thinks they’re getting dog instead of a baby
A poor deluded fool from Rochdale has convinced himself that he and his long term partner are getting a puppy instead of a baby.
Steve...
New train timetables also a massive success, confirms Davis
The imposition of sweeping timetable changes on Britain's railways for the first time in 17 years has been an unmitgated success, it has been...
