We have no shares in Amazon as Yodel are delivering them, says Justin Welby
Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby has today explained that The Church of England doesn't actually have shares in Amazon as Yodel has never delivered...
Theresa May refuses to attend the General Election
After appointing her recently bereaved Home Secretary, Amber Rudd, to take
flack from 'the most left wing audience since a Stalin rally' - Daily Mail,
in...
UKIP Historian reveals Russia didn’t invade Afghanistan and Hitler was misunderstood
Acclaimed UKIP historian and shit stirrer extraordinaire, Arron Banks, took to Twitter yesterday to point out that "the Russians didn't invade Afghanistan."
The historian and...
To be fair I was pissed, says Nigel 2.0 candidate
Steven Woolfe, the chief xenophobe-in-waiting of totally unracist UKIP party has been caught out forgetting things.
Again.
After forgetting to apply for the candidacy he's standing...
Royal Mail agrees to launch new £6 first class Brexit stamp
The Royal Mail have announced a special stamp to commemorate Brexit today. The stamp will be a first class stamp and cost £6.
The Daily...
Satire writers doubting their future after ‘test’ post gets more likes than most ‘serious’...
Satire writers at The Rochdale Herald have been left doubting their future after a 'test' post collected more likes today than most 'serious'...
Local journalist creates entire article from on line forum comments.
A journalist at a Sheffield local newspaper has admitted that an entire article published in Friday's edition of the Sheffield Councilpleaser was constructed entirely...
Pink shirts are all the rage, says man who left red sock in washing...
A bloke who only wears pink shirts now is insisting that they are all the rage having washed all of his white clothes with...
Rolf Harris to paint The Queen again for TV comeback special
Former popular television presenter to repaint Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth following release from prison.
Rolf Harris, 87, is rumoured to be looking at the possibility...
Shaun Ryder and Bez involved in major undercover police anti-drugs operation
Police have released details of a massively successful anti-drugs operation conducted with the help of Shaun Ryder and Bez.
As the son of a...
Britain faces Sophie’s choice over which incompetent arsehole leads it
Britain has revealed it is spoiled for choice on which incompetent aresehole it has leading it.
A spokesman told us, "Everyone is cheering at the...
People with no connection to the USA celebrate Independence Day
People with absolutely no connection to the United States of America have been inexplicably celebrating US Independence Day today.
Cliff Edge told us, "I got...
Aggressive beggars to marry in Windsor Castle in May
People across the country have been delighted by the recent news that one of the UK's sponsored panhandlers has decided to let a wealthy,...
Queen to redo speech after forgetting to say ‘strong and stable’
In an unprecedented move Theresa May is to inform Queen Elizabeth that she will need to redo today's Queen's Speech in Parliament because she...
Fears grow for BBC Explorer missing in Oldham
The alarm was raised today after BBC documentary maker and explorer Professor Robert Falcon failed to emerge from Oldham after missing his rendezvous with...
You ain’t no white van man bruv, delivery driver tells Finsbury attacker
The white van man community has been under a great deal of pressure to apologise for one of them deliberately running over members of...
