Retailers unconcerned by “Buy Nothing Day”
UK retailers were left smirking knowingly today as momentum gathered for the Buy Nothing Day campaign, being run on the same day as Black...
Prince William fingers Kate in back of hatchback in Rochdale
A sticker showing Prince William and The Duchess of Cambridge along with a depiction of two fingers raised in a V sign has caused...
Britain takes back control of its fishing waters and hides them in Shropshire
The Government has revealed that Britain has taken back control of its fishing waters and hidden them in Shropshire.
A spokesman said, "For too long...
14000 airbus job losses and 3.8 million settled migrants was on the other bus...
Brexiteers have been scrambling around attempting to tell everyone that 14,000 job losses at Airbus and 3.8 million settled migrants was on a completely...
London pints to come with free kick in knackers from 2019
Consumers concerned with the rising price of alcohol in the UK received a welcome boost today, as it was confirmed all boozers in the...
Riot Police and Protestors Come Together to Help Fat Man out of Jeans
There were touching scenes at The Moderates against Moderation riot in the car park outside Rochdale's now infamous Waitrose as police and rioters came...
Baxter, president of Dogs, issues chilling warning to Felix, Beloved Leader of the Cats.
President Baxter of the Dogs has today issued an ultimatum and warning to his Cat counterpart, Beloved Leader Felix, over the rising tension in...
Self-aggrandising, egotistical liar meets Donald Trump
Donald Trump was interviewed by self-aggrandising egotist Piers Morgan over the weekend.
Morgan, who likes to pretend to stand for traditional British values such as...
Scientists reveal 2016 to be a fake year
It has been established by scientists at Rochdale Community University that 2016 was the result of an illegal artificial intelligence experiment.
Herr Dr Professor Doktor...
“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons.
Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.
With launch codes about...
Next leaders debate to be chaired by Jeremy Kyle and feature Boris Johnson paternity...
The next General Election leaders debate will feature a new format hosted by Jeremy Kyle. There will also be a paternity test at the...
May Presented With Mirror After Body Shaming Corbyn
Know Thyself, a charity dedicated to helping older people come to terms with physical changes, is to present Theresa May with a full length...
Peter Andre to press Brexit Button
As part of her Key Note speech to the Conservative Party Conference today Theresa May is set to announce this explosive coup for the...
MP’s staff to wear burkas in effort to make them less alluring to MP’s
MP's have demanded that a new dress code be brought in for their staff to make them less alluring sexually. It's hoped that the...
Daily Express readers to mark start of Poppygeddon with mass execution of celebrities not...
6 lucky Daily Express readers will mark the launch of the Royal British Legions poppy appeal by machine gunning celebrities caught not wearing poppies...
Chris Grayling awards ferry contract to Nigerian Prince after receiving fortuitous email
Transport Secretary, Chris Grayling has announced that the Government have awarded a contract to provide ferries in the event of a no-deal Brexit.
Grayling, the...
