1st of January 2017 to start with Bobby Ewing taking a shower

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World leaders, academics, leading  scientists and philosophers made the decision at a secret summit in Denver Colardo yesterday. Simon Johnson, a leading Economist and auther...
Yorkshire Family

Family of Yorkshireman caught in endless loop of telling it like it is win...

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There was a relief for a family on the wrong side of the Pennines this afternoon, as a man with a debilitating terminal illness...
Unhappy Child

Scotland to ban Smack for children

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The Scottish government has confirmed that children will no longer be able to use Smack in Scotland. The move would make the country the first...

Queen’s festive question for Balmoral faithful

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Her Majesty The Queen has returned to the Balmoral Estate to spend time with her family over the Christmas holiday and will be attending...

People urged to collect this year’s autumn leaves for currency post apocalypse

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The Home Office has issued advice to the nation’s gardeners this year that they should be storing this year’s autumn leaves for use as...

Fire at Belfast Primark destroys £5.50 worth of stock

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A fire that has gutted a branch of Primark in Belfast has destroyed £5.50 worth of stock. Primark manager, Shaughn O'Shaughnasseigh told us, "This fire...

May Presented With Mirror After Body Shaming Corbyn

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Know Thyself, a charity dedicated to helping older people come to terms with physical changes, is to present Theresa May with a full length...

Treasury announces British economy based on booze and barbeques

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The Government has announced that the UK's economy is now based solely on beer and barbeques. In a statement the Treasury said, "The sunny...
KFC

KFC announce they’ve run out of ice

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First they ran out of chicken; Then it was gravy. Now KFC have run out of ice cubes. Ruth Sanders of Rochdale KFC said, "We've...

Trump storms out of NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appears in orange face

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Donald Trump has flounced off from a NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appeared to mock his appearance by appearing in 'orange face'. The incident took...

Stop calling us liars, lying racist shitsticks tell Microsoft

The Daily Mail is calling for a web browser alert that tells readers that prolonged exposure to its website will turn them into completely...
Love Actually

Christmas ruined after husband caught shagging secretary on Christmas Eve

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Christmas is officially ruined after the managing director of a local advertising agency was caught by his wife bonking his secretary on Christmas Eve. Father...

Man celebrates birthday with five back to back parties for friends of his kid

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Littleborough man Andrew Bowers certainly knows how to live a little, cramming in a whopping FIVE birthday parties into his 41st birthday party weekend. They...
UK Police

Concerns mount for Rochdale man not heard yelling at Six O’clock News

Concerns are mounting over the welfare of a Rochdale man who is apparently missing from his Lancashire home. Steve Dickinson, 42 and a bit, was...
Ballot paper

Labour to campaign for Liberal Democrats in June 8th General Election

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Diane Abbott was resurrected this afternoon to speak to a journalist of sorts, on the BBC. Ms Abbott used one of her last possible...
Hose Pipe Bans

3rd Day of Sunshine sees Hose Pipe Bans Across UK

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As the heatwave currently hitting the UK enters its third day water companies across Britain have enforced hose pipe bans once again. Despite months of...

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