Conservative Party Central Office have announced this week that new members will be recieve a variety of benefits including discounts at Michael Gove’s new chain of restaurants “Kentucky Fried Pheasant.”
The first restaurant is due to open in Guildford next week with a second scheduled for Royal Harrogate Spa in the coming months. Kensington and Chelsea will follow before the end of the year and there are plans to extend the franchise into Central London shortly after.
The menu will consist mainly of deep fried pheasant in “a special blend of herbs and spices” but will also include Popcorn Foie Gras with a curried caviar dip and pulled gammon.
A high court injunction has been taken out against a certain Philip Mountbatten who has tried to cash in on the anticipated success of KFP by launching a rival chain, “Unlucky Fried Peasant”, in Windsor.
Emelia Gotobed-Quickly, a fine art student from Fitzrovia, told The Rochdale Herald “I think it’s about time. One can’t be seen in these dreadful fast food places normally. One has an image to uphold.”
Former UKIP member Graham Bacon said “This is great news. Now we’ve won I can kick Farage into touch, join the Tory party and enjoy proper posh fried nosh at a bargain price. What’s not to like? Oh and wasn’t the Queen looking wonderful at the wedding and didn’t Prince Harry look smart? Shame ‘is bird’s a darkie but you can’t have everything. God bless the Queen Mum.”
Mr Gove was asked whether he would be treating his friends and family to a night out at the new restaurant.
“Not bloody likely,” a spokesman told us. “He wouldn’t eat that shit.”