Theresa May’s government yesterday announced plans to move Christmas forward this year to November the 12th, just in case we don’t all reach December.

The decision was taken soon after Bumberling Boris decided to flex his muscles and challenge Putin to
A metaphorical arm wrestle over Syria.

Now of course Boris meant well. If this had been any other nation except Russia, or perhaps America, we were dealing with, the rest of the world would probably have stepped in ages ago.

But this is Russia, and now we are all doomed, and WW3 looks like it’s inevitable. Only it will be much shorter than WW1 and WW2, and a lot more blowie uppie.

Fortunately shops started selling Christmas decorations way back in April, so there is not expected to be any panic buying of baubles or tinsel, but there are plenty of rumors that turkey farmers will not be able to cope with supply demands.

So from everyone at the Herald, it’s been a shit year so here’s hoping we make it to November 12th and enjoy a peaceful Xmas with friends and loved ones. Merry Christmas one and all.

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Illiterate writer of nonsense. Great at headlines but tail off during the story ;-) Available for weddings funerals and kids parties. Never lie, or do I? Married to a retired supermodel come part time donkey racer. Will work for beer and crisps.