In a surprise move, the Pope has announced plans to beatify Roger Moore, the popular actor who has very sadly passed away today.
The Pope was a keen fan of the 1960s TV show and had a special appreciation of the halo that would appear above Roger’s head in the opening minutes of each episode. “Moore’s character in the series was above reproach, with good deeds aplenty and he always triumphed over evil and adversity”, said his holiness, adding, “…he was also such a good looking bastard.”
It has been a requirement since 1983 for one recognised miracle to have taken place in order for sainthood to be conferred.
“Frankly, it’s a fucking miracle that such a wooden actor made so much money using only the power of one eyebrow”, said the Pope.