Racists around the UK have been oddly quiet about the international paedophile network that has been operating in Rochdale, and everywhere else that matter, for centuries.

“We usually get a flurry of ‘why don’t you tell us some jokes about Muslim grooming gangs’ from half a dozen racist regulars every day.” Quentin Fortesqueue told The Rochdale Herald.

“They’re usually pretty hot on paedophiles, racists. But I’ve not seen much from them in the comments section about the Pope finally saying that Catholic Priests who’ve been abusing kids probably should stop, probably.”

“I don’t know, it seems pretty weirdly quiet to me. Personally I think it shouldn’t really matter what colour, creed or hue our paedophiles are, they’re all equally horrible.”

“You’d have thought we’d have got at least one ‘tell us a joke about Catholic grooming gangs’ but no. It’s almost as if they’re not as bothered about the gigantic global Christian paedophile rings as they are about the ones with Muslims in them.”

“Weird right?”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.