Middle aged man now communicating entirely by sighing

Authorities in Lancashire are trying to solve the riddle of a man in Rochdale who is now communicating with the outside world only by...

BBC Breakfast mix up Sturgeon with Gorilla

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BBC Breakfast has apologised after images of the gorilla Kumbuka, whose recent non-escape filled a slow news day, were shown on screen instead of...
Kirkcaldy

Scotsman wakes to sobering horror that he lives in Kirkcaldy

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A Scotsman has been telling people of the dawning horror that he still lives in Kirkcaldy. A reporter for The Rochdale Herald Scotland edition said,...

Defiant Brit resumes place in queue

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Stuart Anderson, has resumed his place in the Borough Market cheese stall queue. Anderson, 34, told the Herald that he was going to a dinner...

BBC expose puts police behind Barr’s

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A shock revelation on BBC Breakfast this morning revealed that British police forces are using fizzy drink to subdue suspects. The footage was taken from...

Stephen Fry forced to deny writing tomorrow’s Queen Speech

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Rumours are circulating within Westminster village regarding tomorrow's Queen's Speech. In order for it to be the unmistakable work of comedy everyone expects, Downing Street...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson’s Hair and Trump’s Hair to have Puppies

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In a stunning announcement today it was revealed, that Boris Johnson's hair impregnated Donald Trump's hair a few months ago. Boris Johnson revealed this morning...
William and Kate

Prince William criticises social media firms about fake news to cover up numerous affairs...

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Prince William has appeared at the BBC and spoken out against the inaction of social media firms. He said in a statement statement that...

Muppet fury over South West Trains slur

Muppets across Britain are furious today after learning that the name of their species was used as a slur to describe vandals by an...

Interflora agent admits to killing Lady Di in deathbed confession shock

16
Alleged deathbed confession implicates both floral delivery service and royal family in assassination plot In a shock announcement that has been doing the rounds on...

Paul Golding’s Prison-a-thon raises £5,000 for The Refugee Council

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On an uncharacteristically serious note we'd like to thank each and every person who has donated or otherwise supported Paul's campaign for The Refugee Council.
Farage

Right wing nutjob calls right wing nutjob a right wing nutjob

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Leading members of the Right Wing Nutjobs Association have been flinging accusations around willy-nilly to the amusement of 'leftie libtards' everywhere. Right wing nutjob...
Hurricane

God pisses himself laughing after sending hurricane named for Harvey Milk to wipe most...

34
God Almighty has reportedly pissed his pants laughing after sending a biblical flood to the most homophobic state in America in response to Donald...

Daily Express readers warned to brace for worst winter in 5 billion years

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The Daily Express has reported that Britain is to experience the worst winter for the last 5bn years. John Muir, of Inexact weather forecasting said,...

Government reveals latest cohort of “freak and misfit” advisors

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The Government has announced that it has recruited some more "freaks and weirdos" as advisors following the resignation of noted weirdo, Andrew Sabisky. A spokesman...
Dinner Party

Cryptocurrencies overtake buy to let portfolios as reason not to have “that twat” over...

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Our survey of Rochdale couples reveals cryptocurrencies are now the top reason for removal from dinner party guest lists. In our extensive survey, which we...

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