Muslim women swap burkas for Stig costumes to appeal to middle aged white men
A new experimental initiative has seen numerous British Muslim women swap their traditional full face veils for an outfit made popular by Top Gear's...
Britain prepares to spend weekend listening to pensioners contrived war stories
British pensioners are gearing up for this weekend’s festival of remembrance by remembering their contrived war stories.
Many, like 78 year old Justin Case, spent...
Rupert Murdoch still on course to become Britain’s longest-serving Prime Minister
With only two days of campaigning left before the general election, polling suggests that Rupert Murdoch is still on course to become Britain’s longest-serving...
Office tea expert ‘just sad’ reveals study
It was confirmed today that people who make a song and dance about brewing and drinking tea are among the saddest characters in any...
Jeremy Corbyn Guarantees Tory Win By Not Jerking Knee
The chance of Conservative Party rule evaporated today. Jeremy Corbyn is to talk about the nuances of foreign policy and its consequences.
"It's an outrage!" stated...
Man’s life improves after running out of fucks to give
The life of a Rochdale man has improved immeasurably after he finally ran out of fucks to give.
Office manager James Harding, 38, ran...
Lucky childless bastards book affordable holiday
A pair of lucky childless bastards have managed to book an off-season five star holiday to an empty resort at a cost of almost...
Paul Golding’s Prison-a-thon raises £5,000 for The Refugee Council
On an uncharacteristically serious note we'd like to thank each and every person who has donated or otherwise supported Paul's campaign for The Refugee Council.
Southern Rail and RMT make historic deal
The RMT and Southern Rail have finally called an end to hostilities and announced, to the dismay of passengers, that normal services will resume...
Considerate driver sold BMW by mistake
A car dealership Mike's Motors in Bolton said there were "lessons to be learned"after a careful and considerate driver was allowed to drive away...
French Declare Victory and Award Medals After Sniper Shoots Drinks Waiter
France has declared 3 days of National holidays after a "hero" sniper accidentally injured two people who were moving cases of Evian at an...
RSPCA requests help in tackling dangerous domestic terriers
“No, I don’t care. Show me pictures of abandoned dog toys, show me puppies floating in the water, play violins and show me skinny hounds looking sad. I still don’t care,” said Katie Hopkins.
Government launches electric car scrappage scheme to combat CO2 shortage
In a move that characterises the Government's inability to understand science it has been announced that they will launch an electric car scrappage scheme...
Aliens Behind Trotskist Entryism, Claims Watson
Speaking from inside a tent made entirely of tinfoil, Deputy Leader of the The Labour Party told us that Aliens from the planet Luminx8-B...
Torch lit procession marks start of UKIP party conference
UKIP's party conference has got off to a spectacular start with an evening torch procession in honour of Nigel Farage through the streets of...
Prince Philip to star in new season of The Walking Dead
There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead.
The show depicts characters...
