Tories to pledge crackdown on food bankers’ bonuses

A leaked copy of the Conservative Party's election manifesto has revealed plans to crackdown on 'luxury' items being handed out to those forced to...

Buckingham Palace announces Prince Andrew to tour Paris road tunnels

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Buckingham Palace has announced that Prince Andrew will go on a state visit of Parisian road tunnels later this week. In a statement a spokesman...
Homeless

Every doorway to get free homeless person, pledge Conservatives

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The Tory Party has pledged that every doorway in Britain will get a free homeless person by 2021. A spokesman told us, "The Tory Party...
Al Powell

Racist black cop shoots mentally unstable white veteran, says Fox News

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Fox News has accused the LA Police Department of institutional racism after a black cop shot a mentally unstable white veteran on the steps...

Self-publicist Simon Danczuk MP fails to start Twitter war with Vince Cable

Disgraced labour MP, serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk accused the former Business Secretary Sir Vince Cable of being "old hat" on...

Prince Harry ruled unfit for work by ATOS

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Prince Harry has been ruled unfit for work by ATOS after attending a work capability assessment. "The Prince was sanctioned last month after he missed...
Boris Felipe Spoon

Boris Johnson hits King of Spain on forehead with spoon after mistaking him for...

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Britain and Spain are embroiled in a ferocious diplomatic incident after Boris Johnson hit King Felipe VI of Spain on the forehead with a...

Middle-class mums save planet by driving to Waitrose in massive Range Rovers to buy...

Middle class mums all over the Home Counties are being credited with a reversal to the effects of Global Warming after tens of thousands...
Rubbish in Street

Piled rubbish masks smell of Birmingham city

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Birmingham city council, has for the past few weeks been in the grips of a public sector strike. Birmingham’s ‘bin men’ are demanding fairer/higher...

Labour Unveil New All White Party Flag

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Thanks to Labour another Article 50 bill amendment that would have risked empowering the British people, who are now known to be idiots, has...
Teabag

Teabag enters second month on little plate by kettle

A teabag is currently entering its second month of lying in state on a little plate by the kettle in the kitchen. Barbara Dickinson of...
Rick Astley

Rick Astley gives up turns around and deserts you

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The 80's smash hit superstar and naughties annoying meme, Rick Astley, is hanging up his mic once and for all. After the the shock death...
Neo Nazi

“If it wasn’t for Churchill you’d be speaking German” says man performing nazi salute...

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A man has told the Rochdale Herald that he's protecting the statue of Winston Churchill in Whitehall because, "You'd be speaking German if it...

Tories secure parent vote after abolishing school holidays, weekends and Christmas

Parents up and down the country have thrown their support behind the Conservatives today after details emerged of a radical new plan to abolish school holidays and send children to school for 12 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days of the year.

Church still rich, poor still poor

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Churches like those associated with Christians and Catholics are still really bloody wealthy a recent survey has shown. The news will come as no surprise...
Bar Fight

Survey finds UK’s pub chat and sense of humour at risk of extinction

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Social scientists have revealed a study that shows a correlation between the decline in the British sense of humour and decline in pub chat. Dr...

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