Wheelie Bin Cat purr-sues career as guard dog trainer
Lola the ninja feline, from Coventry, was once again discovered in a rather strange location. This time it was in a Romford working men’s...
Scottish football fans to show solidarity with Colombia by snorting loads of cocaine
Scottish football fans have said they will up their intake of cocaine this weekend in an effort to demonstrate their solidarity with the Colombian...
Labour NEC can take your money and run – rules court of appeal
The NEC of the Labour Party has won on appeal its right to lie its arse off in order to get three quid out...
Allegations 15,000 dick pics discovered on Boris Johnson’s Foreign Office issued mobile phone
The Foreign Office has denied allegations that a mobile phone issued to Boris Johnson when he was Foreign Secretary was found to contain 15,000...
Man with plan to carpe the absolute diem out of today now on his...
A Rochdale man woke up Monday morning to his Eye of the Tiger alarm clock, punched the air, and said let’s get to work.
Trevor...
Parents of nativity play’s King Herod unsure what this says about their parenting
A Rochdale teacher has been telling the Herald about how this year's school nativity has been dogged by endless controversy.
The teacher, who asked not...
Treasury announces British economy based on booze and barbeques
The Government has announced that the UK's economy is now based solely on beer and barbeques.
In a statement the Treasury said, "The sunny...
Couple looking forward to annual tedious night out, in dreadful nightclub with hideous people
A middle aged Rochdale couple are reportedly giddy with excitement about their annual tedious night out in a horrible club with hideous people tonight.
Barbara...
Oxfam scandal proves we have moral high-ground say selfish, tight bastards
Dreadful arseholes everywhere have applauded Oxfam staff for providing them with their latest bout of self-justification.
Graham Ruddington, 47, who has both used and supplied...
Anti-Semetism claims are part of Jewish influenced media conspiracy, claims Momentum member
A Rochdale Momentum member has told us that claims of anti-Semetism made by Chief Rabbi Ephraim Mervis are proof that there is a media...
Rochdale Council to vote on plan to colour snow
Rochdale Council are to consider a plan to colour snow to make it more representative of the cultural mix of the area.
The Rochdale Multi-Cultural...
Prince Philip says secret to easy life is having somebody to iron your socks
Everyone is always talking about the youthful composure of our national treasure Prince Phillip. Now his retirement has been announced, the spritely Greek has...
Bloke donates money to charity without fingering a stranger
United Kingdom - A bloke from the United Kingdom has become the first man ever to make a donation to charity without sexually assaulting a stranger, according to reports.
Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend
Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning.
As millions of us check up on the...
Fears sugar tax could mean bottom falls out of mobility scooter market
The British mobility scooter industry has warned that it could see a huge drop in production of mobility scooters following the introduction of the...
Jeremy Corbyn further insults the Queen with massive wedgie
By means of adding injury to insult, nefarious super villain and national traitor Jeremy Corbyn went one step lower in his ceaseless quest to...
