Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson disappointed Korean Barbeque wasn’t a book burning

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Tommy Robinson has been explaining his disappointment at attending what he thought would be aa Koran burning event that turned out to be a...

Brexiteer skydiving team dies in tragic accident after replacing parachutes with optimism

An entire elderly skydiving display team has died in a tragic accident in Essex this weekend after replacing their parachutes with an optimistic attitude. The...
Alan Rickman

Man falls to death after Christmas party gets out of hand

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A German national has plummeted to his death after a Christmas party at the Nakatomi Tower in Los Angeles got a little bit out...

We mess with clothes sizing to mess with your heads shops tell women

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Leading women's clothing shop owners have said they stock clothes with inconsistent sizing to mess with women's heads. One leading shop owner said, "We deliberately...
Boris Johnson

For Fuck’s Sake, sighs Britain

The entire United Kingdom muttered "for fuck's sake" in unision yesterday afternoon after learning that Boris Johnson has been "elected: new Conservative leader and...

UKIP call for Global Warming referendum

In what is seen as a bid to rescue UKIP from self-inflicted obsolescence, leadership hopeful and Anthony Head lookalike, Steven Woolfe has today called...
Paul Nuttall

Bottoms up for Nuttall

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In an unprecedented move, UKIP leader and shampoo user of the year 2008, Paul Nuttall, has finally come clean about his much debated past. "Now...

Young people urged to move to areas with cheaper housing and spend savings on...

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The Government is to tell young people that they should move away from urban centers in order to pay less rent. With rents increasing in...
Foreign Languages

British man who can speak French to be burned as a witch

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According to reports the British man who has learnt to speak a foreign language fluently is to be burnt at the stake on Tuesday. Lord...

Dog walkers foil Brexit

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A group of dog walkers in West London found a way to foil what has become known locally as "bRexit" after a dog nearly...

Police chiefs launch captive breeding programme in bid to boost officer numbers

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Police chiefs in England and Wales have been asked to contribute their best and brightest officers to a captive breeding programme due to be launched in...
Shocked Santa

Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal – 2,000 Gifts bought in 72 hours

Three days ago we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People...

Baxter, president of Dogs, issues chilling warning to Felix, Beloved Leader of the Cats.

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President Baxter of the Dogs has today issued an ultimatum and warning to his Cat counterpart, Beloved Leader Felix, over the rising tension in...
Hunt Saboteurs

Hunt saboteurs can’t feel pain, government declares

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The government has voted to reject a bill that recognises that hunt saboteurs are humans who feel pain and emotion. Following an incident over the...
Begging

Beggars fined for begging to pay begging fines

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Vulnerable homeless people are now being forced into longer begging hours to pay the newly introduced fines for begging. In another PR triumph for...

Shaun Ryder and Bez involved in major undercover police anti-drugs operation

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Police have released details of a massively successful anti-drugs operation conducted with the help of Shaun Ryder and Bez. As the son of a...

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