Cyclist

Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children’s toys denies mid-life crisis

A Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children's toys denies mid-life crisis. A forty two year old man from Rochdale who shaves his...

Queen’s Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu

0
There are rumours today that the Queen's Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu. A furious Palace insider told us, "It's completely ridiculous. I've...
For Sale Signs

You could always smother a grandparent for a house deposit, Banks advise first time...

First time buyers struggling to raise the funds for a house deposit are being advised to smother an elderly relative for the inheritance by...
BBC Question Time

Question Time cut short after woman dies of boredom

0
The BBC's Question Time recording was cut short on Thursday after an audience member passed out from boredom during the recording. Filming of the BBC...

Sturgeon Scotland Indyref Goes to Defcon Fandouble-Dozi

0
Nicola Sturgeon has told Theresa May that she is not "bluffing" on the promise of a second independence and has gone to Defcon Fandabidoubledozi! In...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip denies sending Harry and Megan packet of mystery white powder

0
The Duke of Edinburgh has strenuously denied sending Prince Harry and Megan Marckle a toxic package. The parcel was left on Harry and Megan's doorstep...

It was straightforward shooting not sex, says Prince Andrew

0
Young girls were released into the Sandringham Estate and shot at as part of Ghislaine Maxwell's birthday celebrations, Prince Andrew has revealed. The Duke of...
Man buying a wheel

I suppose we better start our Christmas shopping, say men

0
Men all over the world are reluctantly conceding that now might be a good time to start their Christmas shopping. "If I start shopping at...
Empty bus seats

Thirty nine bus seats arrested in counter-terrorism operation

30
In what police are describing as a “significant” counter-terrorism operation, thirty nine bus seats were arrested today on suspicion of being involved in jihadist...
Christmas Presents

Now for something different, our Big Fat Secret Santa

0
Along with the very fine and folk at NewsThump and The Southend News Network we have put together what we think could be one...
Rubbish in Street

Piled rubbish masks smell of Birmingham city

0
Birmingham city council, has for the past few weeks been in the grips of a public sector strike. Birmingham’s ‘bin men’ are demanding fairer/higher...

Middle-class mums save planet by driving to Waitrose in massive Range Rovers to buy...

Middle class mums all over the Home Counties are being credited with a reversal to the effects of Global Warming after tens of thousands...
Football

Theresa May smashes transfer fee record by buying 10 Northern Irish defenders for £1.5BN

6
Theresa May today totally smashed Paul Pogba's world transfer fee record into smithereens after purchasing 10 Northern Irish defenders for a yet to be...
Union flag with "Brexit" ove it

Government’s Brexit White Paper revealed

0
The hotly anticipated government White Paper on Brexit was released this week to an explosion of love juice from the editors of the Mail...
Theresa May

Theresa May negotiates paying full price for a DFS sofa

0
Theresa May has succeeded in negotiating paying full price on a sofa from DFS. Mrs May was returning from Salzburg following the most disappointing trip...

Santa sacks Rudolph due to his low productivity levels

0
It's "snow" joke. Santa has sensationally sacked his seasonal sidekick, Rudolph. The reason was that the much-loved face of animal disability was displaying typically...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts