Man Relaxing

Man’s life improves after running out of fucks to give

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The life of a Rochdale man has improved immeasurably after he finally ran out of fucks to give. Office manager James Harding, 38, ran...

Stop calling us liars, lying racist shitsticks tell Microsoft

The Daily Mail is calling for a web browser alert that tells readers that prolonged exposure to its website will turn them into completely...

Chaos at Speakers’ Corner after steaming pile of dog excrement is mistaken for Tommy...

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There were scenes of chaos at Speakers' Corner earlier today after a steaming pile of dog shit was apparently mistaken for EDL-founder Tommy Robinson.  It is understood that the moldering heap of crap, which...

Christmas ad not Christian enough say non church going Christians

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The new Christmas advert from Tesco has caused outrage for its lack of overt Christianity, mainly from people who will go nowhere near a...

Racism cured after white people put black face on their social media accounts

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We are pleased to report that racial prejudice worldwide has been solved by white people blacking up their social media accounts.  From your mum's...

Captain Tom finally able to pay Wonga loan off

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Captain Tom Moore is reportedly thrilled that his fundraising has been so successful that he's finally able to pay off a loan he took...
unhappy man

I just want things to be the colour they were before, admits Brexiteer

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Icon, n. A person or thing regarded as a representative symbol "'Back and Blue - Brits will get their iconic dark blue passports back after...

“Your dad is a horrible man”, says man yelling at child because he doesn’t...

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A middle aged man has today made another middle aged man aware that he doesn't like him by standing outside the man's home and...

Britain First blame Foreigner for it being Cold As Ice

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We don't care if you've heard this joke before, because for us, it Feels Like The First Time. Dirty White Boy fan club Britain First...

Town of Hamelin hire Anna Soubry to rid itself of Problem Gammons

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Hamelin Town Hall has announced today that they have struck a deal with Anna Soubry to end their problems with flocks of Gammons in...
Rees Mogg Farage

Being a Menace when you’re called Dennis now about as plausible as being a...

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The Beano have announced they are going to change one of their longest running characters names. Despite its wonderful rhyme, bosses at the...

Suicide prevented with picture of ‘Inspirational Quote’

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Clinically depressed Phil Jones, 38, was found standing on the edge of Clifton Suspension Bridge after his wife had left him last Tuesday. Mr. Jones...

Angry northerner rises up against culture of Fake Brews

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A Lancastrian man fed up with the culture of 'fake brews' currently sweeping the nation has took it upon himself to show the masses...

French Declare Victory and Award Medals After Sniper Shoots Drinks Waiter

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France has declared 3 days of National holidays after a "hero" sniper accidentally injured two people who were moving cases of Evian at an...
Union flag with "Brexit" ove it

“Go Back to where you came from!” -Say 1970’s

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In a shock statement today the 1970's have told 2016 to go back to its own timeline where it belongs.  In July a third of...
face palm

March Against Hate Wins World Irony Cup

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The World Irony Championship has been cancelled for 2017 after anti-Muslims calling themselves UK Against Hate held a march against extremism. “We normally wait until...

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