Rees Mogg Farage

Get behind my nutters version of Brexit says Jacob Rees-Mogg

0
Jacob Rees-Mogg has attempted to counter accusations that he has no Brexit plan by unveiling one so fancifully insane a Texan jury wouldn't recommend...
Russell Brand

Russell Brand in hot water again for ‘pranking’ Andrews Sachs’ granddaughter

0
Long haired Labour killer and plastic revolutionary, Russell Brand, has come under fire once again this morning after 'pranking' the granddaughter of the late...
Laptop Office Thumbs Up

Software update happens at convenient time

A laptop in an office in Rochdale has undergone a comprehensive software update without completely screwing up his owner’s day. The laptop, which is an...

Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution

0
Put your hands on the car and get ready to die. Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...

Prince Philip says secret to easy life is having somebody to iron your socks

0
Everyone is always talking about the youthful composure of our national treasure Prince Phillip. Now his retirement has been announced, the spritely Greek has...

Barclays customer sent to Guantanamo after overdraft complaint

0
A Rochdale man has been kidnapped by US intelligence services and sent to Guantanamo Bay after he complained to his local Barclays Bank about...

Dominic Cummings appears on TV to tell plebs to f*** off in person

0
Dominic Cummings has appeared on the BBC to tell everyone to f*** off and leave him alone. Speaking to Secretary of the Boris Booster Club,...

Santa sacks Rudolph due to his low productivity levels

0
It's "snow" joke. Santa has sensationally sacked his seasonal sidekick, Rudolph. The reason was that the much-loved face of animal disability was displaying typically...
BMW

You can’t skid if you don’t brake, confirm BMW drivers

0
One of Britain's leading self-proclaimed driving experts was kind enough to give the Herald some tips on how to drive safely in the snow. "Don't...

Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed

0
Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed. After five engineer visits, four no-shows and five hours calling BT, Labour...
Shouty man

‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law

4
A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear. We caught...
Paul Nuttall

Paul Nuttall To Become Next Duke Of Edinburgh

0
Paul Nuttall will be assuming the position of Duke of Edinburgh, following the retirement of Prince Philip, he has confirmed. “It’s the perfect job, really,”...

Chewing gum booms as government invests £100 billion in wrong ‘Trident.’

0
An administrative error has seen government funding to renew British nuclear armaments sent to the wrong ‘Trident.’ Earlier today £100 billion was electronically transferred to...
Britain First

New phrase ‘Wankers Dozen’ defined as ‘Britain First meeting’

0
The Rochdale to English Dictionary today confirmed it would be adding the colloquial phrase 'wankers dozen' to their 2019 edition. The R.E.D.'s official definition...
Bank of England

Government promises next batch of fivers ‘will be halal’

0
There was an outpouring of fury earlier this week from vegetarians, vegans and religious groups as it was revealed that our new £5 notes...

Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers

0
The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts