Helen Mirren to impersonate the Queen during Trump state visit
The Rochdale Herald understands that award winning actress Helen Mirren will impersonate the Queen should President Trump's proposed state visit to the UK go...
Fire safety experts admit fire escapes probably not best place for massive explosive gas...
Camden fire chiefs are today red faced at having to admit to missing bleedin' obvious fire hazards in poor peoples' containment blocks on all...
British man who can speak French to be burned as a witch
According to reports the British man who has learnt to speak a foreign language fluently is to be burnt at the stake on Tuesday.
Lord...
Authorities launch investigation as Strangeways drops out of top 10 for acute violence
Prison authorities in the North West have announced an urgent investigation into why no prisons in the North West made it into the top...
Tony Blair has already earned more than you
Tony Blair has already earned more than you will this year and it's only January.
For those unfamiliar, Mr Blair is the most successful leader...
The man from Del Monte in critical condition with scurvy
80's TV ad star and renowned juice producer, Derek Monte, was rushed to hospital yesterday and immediately diagnosed with scurvy, a debilitating illness caused...
Tories Include Return of Death Penalty In Election Manifesto
The Conservative Party has surprised many by including a return of the death penalty in their election manifesto.
Explaining the eye catching manifesto promise, Jacob...
Muslim women swap burkas for Stig costumes to appeal to middle aged white men
A new experimental initiative has seen numerous British Muslim women swap their traditional full face veils for an outfit made popular by Top Gear's...
Tube chat badges surprisingly successful
Tube Chat Badges given out to travellers on the London Underground to encourage people to talk more are said to be a surprising success,...
Labour Unveil New All White Party Flag
Thanks to Labour another Article 50 bill amendment that would have risked empowering the British people, who are now known to be idiots, has...
It was straightforward shooting not sex, says Prince Andrew
Young girls were released into the Sandringham Estate and shot at as part of Ghislaine Maxwell's birthday celebrations, Prince Andrew has revealed.
The Duke of...
A quick break from satire
Last week there was a rather big election in the USA. The supporters of the losing candidate have spent every waking moment since, it...
Northern Shithole Celebrates UK Capital of Culture with Pie and Peas and a Knobbly...
About 60,000 people came out in Hull to watch a Burger Eating Contest & Arm Wrestling show to mark the start of the city's...
3rd Day of Sunshine sees Hose Pipe Bans Across UK
As the heatwave currently hitting the UK enters its third day water companies across Britain have enforced hose pipe bans once again.
Despite months of...
Racist black cop shoots mentally unstable white veteran, says Fox News
Fox News has accused the LA Police Department of institutional racism after a black cop shot a mentally unstable white veteran on the steps...
Twenty two point lead for Tories touts Telegraph
Conservatives clap to celebrate clear lead as misdirectional muppetry
f/makes news yet again after the Telegraph published the definitely not at
all orchestrated and not tailored...
