Revealed: GCHQ Toaster Hack Turns Leavers Into Remainers…

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An exclusive Herald investigation has revealed the extent to which the government's monitoring agency GCHQ can manipulate public opinion through the hacking of common...

Harry and Meghan choose poisonous flowers for wedding as symbol of their love

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Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have announced they've chosen to symbolise their love with poisonous flowers. Digitalis or, Foxgloves as they're more commonly known will...

Facebook servers crash after everyone announces they’re drinking Prosecco

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Facebook couldn't be logged into earlier today after millions of people updated their statuses with things like; "The Prosecco is open! You know what that...
Houses of Parliament

Home Office apologises for deporting ‘the wrong sort of brown people’

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In an official statement released within the last few minutes, the Home office has apologised 'unreservedly' for deporting 'the wrong sort of brown people'. The...
Depressed business man at his desk

Satirists across the globe have a day off due to lack of news

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The Daily Mash, NewsThump, SNN and The Poke all refused to post content today as world events seemed to have ground a to halt. "A...
Tapas

Tapas actually Spanish for ‘not enough food’ confirms Spain

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Spain has confessed to the international community today that the word Tapas actually translates as 'not enough food'.  The revelation comes after local office drone...

Fire at Belfast Primark destroys £5.50 worth of stock

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A fire that has gutted a branch of Primark in Belfast has destroyed £5.50 worth of stock. Primark manager, Shaughn O'Shaughnasseigh told us, "This fire...

Your Mum has a dildo

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Children all over the country are coming to terms with the horrifying reality that their Mums have at least one dildo.

Ben Fogle quits Animal Park to try his hand at ventriloquism

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Popular broadcaster and adventurist Ben Fogle has been declared an endangered species on Twitter after sustaining numerous headshots from people ridiculing his idea for...
British Army

Man who’s never met a squaddie shocked army contains right wing extremists

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A Rochdale man has told of his shock at discovering that some members of the British Army hold extreme right wing views. Cal Low, who...
Magic Circle

Magic Circle Trigger Terror Alert

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Amid growing concern and fears for public safety, illusionist extremists The Magic Circle have been deemed a threat to security and democracy. The so-called magicians...

People who ‘say it like it is’ invariably arseholes groundbreaking research concludes

Researchers at Rochdale Community University have concluded that people who "tell it like it is" are invariably complete arseholes. "People who 'tell it like it...

David Blunkett confirms he’s still blind following driving test

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The Rochdale Herald can exclusively confirm that David Blunkett is still blind. Mr Blunkett confirmed the findings of his most recent eye sight test...

American tourists Popeye cockup

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A group of American tourists are threatening to sue a Birmingham hotel , after claiming that the owners have exposed them to humiliation and...
Good Morning

A quick break from satire

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Last week there was a rather big election in the USA. The supporters of the losing candidate have spent every waking moment since, it...

Theresa May Reads A Christmas Carol Backwards To Give It A Happy Ending

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It's one of the most famous stories, if not the most famous, in the English language. It's been made into countless films, plays and...

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