Theresa May smashes transfer fee record by buying 10 Northern Irish defenders for £1.5BN
Theresa May today totally smashed Paul Pogba's world transfer fee record into smithereens after purchasing 10 Northern Irish defenders for a yet to be...
Extra hour…or do we lose one? Anyway clock change thingy happens
The half of the nation whose oven clocks are correct swapped places with the half whose oven clocks are an hour or twelve out...
Recently renamed London landmark Massive Mohammed to ring out for Diwali despite repairs
There will be fewer quiet nights during October after the authorities in charge of the House of Commons agreed to give the recently renamed...
Government Announces National Nothing Day.
From worthy issues such as International Women’s Day to cultural stereotypes like National Tea Day, it seems like every day is "something" Day.
Just...
First year student can’t wait to get home to tell her pony all about...
A first year student at the University of Bristol is said to be very excited about getting home for Christmas so she can tell...
UKIP Neighbour in Festive Twat Fiasco
A member of UKIP has made the news after showing the good old, British, Christian spirit: he's built a large billboard to piss off...
First M25 user leaves Thatcher’s Hell road after 30 years
Albert J Bilsborough, 63, has finally left the M25 after 30 years, after also being amongst the first motorists to enter the hell road.
The...
Mensa exam to be replaced by attempting to sync iTunes
International high IQ club Mensa has announced plans to scrap their famously difficult entrance exam, and replace it with a quest to negotiate Apple's...
Catlike powers wasted on cats
According to research at the institute of institutes catlike powers are absolutely wasted on cats.
Researchers have discovered that despite having incredible superpower like abilities...
Jeremy Corbyn urges Labour MP’s to get behind Theresa May or risk making him...
Jeremy Corbyn has told Labour MP's that they had better get behind Theresa May and her, "And then there were none" vision of Brexit...
Michel Barnier to meet Dominic Raab to tell him to fuck off in person
Dominic Raab is due to meet Michel Barnier for an intense 6 hours of being told to fuck off after asking for all the...
Man singing “Free Tommy Robinson” thought he was entering competition to meet him
A man who spent yesterday in London singing "Free Tommy Robinson" has said he thought he was entering a competition to meet him.
Dave Wild...
We won, get over it! voted 2017 Phrase of the Year by racists
We won, get over it! has become the new mantra of choice for racists, according to the results of a new survey published today.
The...
Builder who did the quote for Buckingham Palace sucked air through his teeth first
After a quick survey of Buckingham Palace on Thursday, 38 year old builder, Barry Burford reportedly said;
"Well, there's the pointing, supplies, man hours, that...
Chelsea Pensioner breaks Paul Golding’s nose
Biffer bashed as Veteran rejects attempt to hijack Remembrance Sunday
Remembrance Sunday is commemorated every year on the second Sunday of November to mark the...
We’ll make a success of Brexit, says country where businesses can’t sell things for...
Britain has said that it's perfectly equipped to make a success of Brexit even though shops that sell things for a pound are closing.
Business...
