Arseholes unaware it’s not the Fifth of November
Arseholes up and down the country are unaware that it is not the fifth of November, it has been confirmed.
From London to Liverpool, the...
People that pull statues down to face different level of justice to people that...
The Government has confirmed that the people that pulled a statue down over the weekend will face a different level of justice to those...
Northern Expert finds London still full of wankers
Professor Emeritus of Southern Studies at the University of Leeds, Joe Roots, confirmed in his opening lecture of the 2017/18 academic term that:
“London is...
Dominic Raaaaab resigns to commit more time to GCSE resit
Dominic Raab has announced he's resigning to spend more time with his Geography GCSE revision.
Mr Raaab announced his resignation earlier today saying, "I've...
White nationalists boycott Black Friday claiming all Fridays matter
A number of white nationalist groups have joined together in a boycott against the post-Thanksgiving consumer event known as Black Friday.
Black Friday has been...
Queen acts out stamp during charades for 60th year running
The Queen acted out a stamp for the 60th year running during the traditional game of Charades at Sandringham yesterday.
An insider told us, "She...
Satire writers doubting their future after ‘test’ post gets more likes than most ‘serious’...
Satire writers at The Rochdale Herald have been left doubting their future after a 'test' post collected more likes today than most 'serious'...
“Your dad is a horrible man”, says man yelling at child because he doesn’t...
A middle aged man has today made another middle aged man aware that he doesn't like him by standing outside the man's home and...
A quick break from satire
Last week there was a rather big election in the USA. The supporters of the losing candidate have spent every waking moment since, it...
Tommy Robinson disappointed Korean Barbeque wasn’t a book burning
Tommy Robinson has been explaining his disappointment at attending what he thought would be aa Koran burning event that turned out to be a...
New Heathrow runway will make getting to France easier say Brexiteers
The new runway at Heathrow airport will be completed just in time for leading Brexiteer's to use it to leave the country for villa's...
Arsonists shocked building they set on fire is burning
A group of arsonists have spoken of their shock at discovering that a building they've spent a decade carefully trying to set fire to...
British meteorologists blame wet August on an increase in cloud storage by Apple
The weather scientist went on to predict industrialised nations have a maximum of one year before the amount of material stored in the cloud reaches a critical mass of never ending rain.
Northern Dad puts heating on
Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on.
Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...
Dead mouse on kitchen floor is a warning, not a gift
The dead animals that the cat has been dragging in from the garden are not gifts, they’re warnings cats have confirmed.
Fluffles the cat, from...
Fat Controller to be renamed Big Boned Team Leader in Thomas revamp’
Anti-bullying & equality campaigners have praised plans by children's show Thomas the Tank Engine to highlight modern issues in the latest series of the...
