Cute dog is a savage little shit
A survey of very cute little dogs has discovered that almost 99.9% of them are in fact savage little bastards.
The survey which was carried...
Life expectancy soars in Wolverhampton after McDonalds strike for 2 days
Experts say that life expectancy in Wolverhampton has soared after the McDonalds on Dudley Street was closed on Monday and Tuesday due to strike...
Big Ben to be renamed Massive Mohammed from 2018
Equality campaigners have welcomed plans to rename Big Ben as part of a project celebrating London's rich cultural heritage.
The famous landmark, which is due...
It’s a bit windy out
People all over the UK who have ears and access to either a door or a window have confirmed that it's a bit windy...
Angry northerner rises up against culture of Fake Brews
A Lancastrian man fed up with the culture of 'fake brews' currently sweeping the nation has took it upon himself to show the masses...
Sturgeon gives birth to kittens as court rules Scottish Parliament won’t be consulted on...
Nicola Sturgeon is recovering after unexpectedly going into labour and giving birth to a litter of kittens at Holyrood this afternoon.
Michel Barnier to meet Dominic Raab to tell him to fuck off in person
Dominic Raab is due to meet Michel Barnier for an intense 6 hours of being told to fuck off after asking for all the...
For f*ck’s sake put a top on, men told
Men have been asked to put some clothes on because they really shouldn't be in the pub half naked.
Professor Gareth Linkeker of the Institute...
Prince Philip and Queen Elizabeth facing deportation post Brexit
An Emergency meeting was called at Buckingham palace earlier this week after the penny dropped with Prince Philip in regards to Brexit and complications with European immigration
"Oh...
Expat Moans About EU Citizens in UK
A British expat has hailed Parliament's rejection of EU citizens' right to stay in the UK post Brexit.
Speaking from beside his swimming pool at...
First shipment of thoughts and prayers arrive for those made homeless by Grenfell Fire
The first shipment of thoughts and prayers has arrived in Kensington to be distributed amongst those left homeless by the fire that destroyed Grenfell Tower one week ago.
Dead whale found in Thames was Russian spy
The Government have announced that a whale that has been found dead beside the River Thames was a Russian spy.
The whale was found beside...
We’ll make a success of Brexit, says country where businesses can’t sell things for...
Britain has said that it's perfectly equipped to make a success of Brexit even though shops that sell things for a pound are closing.
Business...
Sex education in primary schools should be banned, says Burnley gran, 19
Sex education has been given the thumbs down by Burnley gran Ellie-Mae-Leigh Horne. 19 year old Ellie-Mae-Leigh, whose eldest daughter Chelsea-Leigh has just given...
Kitchen fitter offered job as spy
Roy Clark, a 56 year old kitchen fitter from Castleton was amazed to discover that his application for Agent of Her Majesty's Secret Service...
Boris Upsets Sturgeon Over Calls for New Indyref
Boris Johnson today ran into further hot water, or perhaps hot oil, over comments responding to Nicola Sturgeon's view that only an Independent Scotland...
