UKIP Needs Image Change, Says Rest of UK.
The UK has today agreed with former UKIP leadership challenger Suzanne Evans when she said the party needed an image change. Preferably to a...
Gatwick drone operators arrested after shootout at abandoned church and ski-doo chase across frozen...
A team of former special-forces mercenaries have been arrested in connection with the criminal use of drones which has caused the widespread disruption to...
Bank of England to use vegan fat in new £20 notes
Last year vegans and social justice warriors, fighting on behalf of un-offended Hindus and Sikhs, absolutely lost their shit because of the Bank of...
Black people in England 8.2 times more likely to accidentally run into police truncheons...
Priti Patel today confirmed that the Black Lives Matter movement is a protest about American racism that has nothing to do with England. The...
Builder finishes job on time and under budget
A small building firm in Lancashire has become the first builder in the history of the industry to finish a job on time and...
Monster fatberg found in Boris Johnson’s head
A monster fatberg the size of two double decker buses has been found inside the head of rotund foreign secretary Boris Johnson, Trev Panning,...
We want to control our own borders! As long as our borders stay in...
Today small minded people up and down the land were in uproar as rumours that the cheese eating surrender monkeys want the English border...
Extreme weather leaves KFC with too much chicken
As 'The Beast From The East' takes a firm hold across the UK, KFC have announced that it is overrun with chicken as no...
Great start for Meghan Markle as she manages to walk around slowly and wave
The future of the British monarchy, American Meghan Markle, has successfully negotiated her first official public engagement as she absolutely nailed walking slowly and...
Local hero returns from stay in hotel with both his iPhone charger and toothbrush
A local man is being hailed as some sort of hero after managing to return home from a stay in a hotel with both...
Coronavirus maybe more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith warns Government
The Government is warning that Coronavirus could be more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith. The warning comes as the number of cases in Britain...
Queen acts out stamp during charades for 60th year running
The Queen acted out a stamp for the 60th year running during the traditional game of Charades at Sandringham yesterday.
An insider told us, "She...
Scientists confirm that builder’s tea is just tea
A team of scientists from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that builder's tea is, in fact, just tea.
Clarence Tetley,...
I was looking at porn not the Conservative manifesto, Damien Green assures Mum
The First Secretary of State, essentially Theresa May's deputy, is facing an investigation by his Mum into allegations that copies of the Conservative manifesto...
Criminals allowed to break law in ‘specific and limited way’
The Home Office has confirmed that British criminals will now be allowed to commit crimes in a 'specific and limited way' following the government's...
Life is meaningless and everything dies, concludes child on ‘day out’ to historic town
A child from Rochdale has concluded that life is meaningless and that everything dies during a visit to York with his parents during the...
