Good Morning

A quick break from satire

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Last week there was a rather big election in the USA. The supporters of the losing candidate have spent every waking moment since, it...

Daily Mail fury as NO MIGRANTS are going to be killed as a result...

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The Mail and the Express allege that the silence of the clangs is meant to be a mark of respect timed to coincide with the twentieth anniversary of Princess Diana's death.
bus driver

Bus drivers distraught they can’t lose shit when given a fiver due to increased...

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Bus drivers distraught they can't lose their shit when given a fiver, due to increased ticket prices. Up and down the country local bus drivers...
Cocker Spaniel

Cocker Spaniel has reasonable and sensible response to doorbell

Reports are coming in that a cocker spaniel has had a perfectly reasonable and sensible reaction to somebody ringing the doorbell. The incident occurred when...
Car Crash

Uber to consult UK Government for advice on dealing with driverless car crashes

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Following the tragic death of a pedestrian knocked down by a driverless Uber vehicle, the taxi giant confirmed it would be consulting UK Government...
BMW

Considerate driver sold BMW by mistake

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A car dealership Mike's Motors in Bolton said there were "lessons to be learned"after a careful and considerate driver was allowed to drive away...
Spa Day

Why can’t we just do a spa day and go to bed early, says...

In a world first a group of lads from Rochdale have posed the question, "why can't we just do something civilised and get a...
Duck

Great weather for ducks, confirm ducks

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Ducks around the UK have confirmed that they are having a really lovely day and are enjoying the weather. Speaking from the middle of a...
Medals

Royals exempted from law criminalising wearing of faked military award medals

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Today sees the probable introduction of the new “Walter Mitty” law, which will make it a criminal offence for any individual to pretend to...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson’s Hair and Trump’s Hair to have Puppies

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In a stunning announcement today it was revealed, that Boris Johnson's hair impregnated Donald Trump's hair a few months ago. Boris Johnson revealed this morning...

Children of middle class parents begin Christmas paperwork

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The children of middle class parents all over the country are celebrating the rest of their holidays by doing paperwork.
Theresa May

Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...

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Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit. With many people warning that...

Obesity Sugar Tax Only Screwing The Poor By Accident

The government is set to announce its new scheme to combat childhood obesity on Thursday, a scheme that is mostly a tax on high...

Prince Philip is ‘perfectly fine’ Palace assures public

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HRH Prince Philip was straight back to work today insulting foreigners just three days after being released from hospital.  Palace officials were quick to point...

Defiant Brit resumes place in queue

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Stuart Anderson, has resumed his place in the Borough Market cheese stall queue. Anderson, 34, told the Herald that he was going to a dinner...
Theresa May

Government vows to tackle crime now wealthy are affected

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The Government has pledged to start tackling violent crime now that it's affecting wealthy people in London.  A Spokesman for Theresa May said, "When the...

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