Woman who sweeps elephants in room under the rug wonders why her relationships don’t...
A Rochdale woman who has a “sweep it under the rug” approach to the elephant in the room is puzzled as to why her...
Everybody wondering where the one car with snow on it came from
Drivers all over the UK are wondering where the hell that one car with snow on it has come from.
"Where on Earth has that...
Middle aged men in state of heightened excitement after reported sightings of first B...
After spending the long winter months in a hibernatory slumber, the nation's middle-aged men are getting all silly over news that the first hardware...
Government toasts success as rate of reduction in homelessness doubles
Homeless reduction is the latest resounding success for Britain's most popular female Prime Minister ever.
The May Government has shown that not only may it...
Deer left shaken by run in with Prince
A Balmoral based deer has spoken out after being run down by the heir to the British throne.
Dougal Hornhead spoke to the Herald after...
Morons wondering why blizzard wasn’t averted by thin layer of salt
Millions of morons across the UK were left perplexed when a thin layer of salt didn't prevent their cars getting stuck in 3 feet...
Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University’s Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
I was looking at porn not the Conservative manifesto, Damien Green assures Mum
The First Secretary of State, essentially Theresa May's deputy, is facing an investigation by his Mum into allegations that copies of the Conservative manifesto...
Homeworkers mysteriously suntanned
People who work from home are all looking oddly suntanned for people who work at their desks for eight hours a day, leading experts...
Army of White Walkers causing delays M1 Southbound
Drivers and commuters are facing another difficult day of delays and difficult journeys across the UK after a second night of freezing temperatures.
The Met...
Piled rubbish masks smell of Birmingham city
Birmingham city council, has for the past few weeks been in the grips of a public sector strike. Birmingham’s ‘bin men’ are demanding fairer/higher...
Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod
In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party...
Prince Philip to star in new season of The Walking Dead
There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead.
The show depicts characters...
Fire at Belfast Primark destroys £5.50 worth of stock
A fire that has gutted a branch of Primark in Belfast has destroyed £5.50 worth of stock.
Primark manager, Shaughn O'Shaughnasseigh told us, "This fire...
Obesity Sugar Tax Only Screwing The Poor By Accident
The government is set to announce its new scheme to combat childhood obesity on Thursday, a scheme that is mostly a tax on high...
Travelling 250 miles to avoid taking care of child unsurprisingly fine with Boris Johnson
The role of senior Downing Street Adviser Dominic Cummings was called into question after news emerged that he had seen fit to visit the...
