Baby seals used in making of new £1 coin.
The bank of England and Royal Mint announced today that the new pound coin that entered into circulation this week is made using the...
Treasury announces British economy based on booze and barbeques
The Government has announced that the UK's economy is now based solely on beer and barbeques.
In a statement the Treasury said, "The sunny...
We survived Bubonic plague so we’ll probably survive Brexit, Government assures Britain
The Government has released advice on what to do in the event of a 'no-deal' Brexit. The advice has the catchy strap line, "No-deal,...
Adorable baby will grow up to be massive bellend
The parents of an adorable baby in the borough of Rochdale were dismayed to learn today that statistically it is very likely that he...
BBC expose puts police behind Barr’s
A shock revelation on BBC Breakfast this morning revealed that British police forces are using fizzy drink to subdue suspects.
The footage was taken from...
Kitchen fitter offered job as spy
Roy Clark, a 56 year old kitchen fitter from Castleton was amazed to discover that his application for Agent of Her Majesty's Secret Service...
May To Wheel Out Trebuchet
Theresa May will relaunch her election campaign today with a classic bit of fighting kit. A trebuchet nicknamed 'Warwolf".
The trebuchet, effectively a giant catapult,...
Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment
A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.
Bill Board told us, "It was last...
The man from Del Monte in critical condition with scurvy
80's TV ad star and renowned juice producer, Derek Monte, was rushed to hospital yesterday and immediately diagnosed with scurvy, a debilitating illness caused...
Bloke with neck tattoo does really, really well in job interview
A bloke with a tattoo of a skull on his neck has done really, really well in a job interview today.
Harvey Wallbanger, 22, from...
Social Media punishing the pound in Postal workers pockets
With the rise and rise of Facebook, E-Cards and Internet banking the way we celebrate important events with family and friends is fast changing.
Nowadays...
Revealed: your top 5 favourite ways to explain Corbyn losing a general election to...
Jeremy Corbyn is the people's champion and the most popular politician in England, so, just how do the people of Rochdale think he lost...
Proper Patriots furious about Po Ling Day
Patriots across Ingerlaand are furious today after hearing that it's Po Ling Day.
“Why we celebrating some bleeding foreigner, eh?” spat Rochdale UKIP supporter Arthur...
Religious fervour hits Rochdale bus passengers
A local member of one of the world's 4200 religions is utterly convinced that his is the correct one.
Stating confidently that “It is,...
Patients should only suffer because of politics – Insists Hunt
Homeopathic politician and all-round quack-licker Jeremy The Hunt has stated that patients will suffer if planned strikes by junior doctors go ahead.
"Obviously we don't...
Tory Party pledges to attack pot holes now it has defeated the disabled
The Tory Party has declared victory in its war against the disabled and announced it will re-deploy its resources in a war on pot...



















































