‘It’s the Welsh we hate not the English’ claims SNP
The Scottish National Party has released an official statement denying that their desire for Scottish independence is motivated by a historic mistrust of the...
Britain gears up for Dianageddon
A lack of Britain shooting itself in the foot and Donald Trump not doing something stupid for a few days has left Britain to...
Southerner changes view of North after paying less than £7 for a pint
A pig headed Southern man has reduced his negative opinion of the north by 0.00000001% after spending a delightful weekend in Heckmondwicke.
Southerner Paul Thatcher-Wright,...
Another Russian bloke Putin doesn’t like poisoned a coincidence, confirms Kremlin and Dorset police
The country has breathed a sigh of relief after Wiltshire Constabulary indicated that they had not had to deploy their counter-terrorism unit, it has...
Rochdale Herald sign former Welsh international goalkeeper Neville Southall from Twitter
The Rochdale Herald have signed goalkeeper Neville Southall from twitter for an undisclosed fee, that definitely didn’t involve skeletons.
The veteran ex-Everton goalie, who is...
SAS chiefs approach Liberal Democrats for tips on staying out of sight.
It has been revealed today that bosses of the Special Air Service, or SAS, the British special forces, attempted to contact the Liberal Democrat...
Theresa May speaks to Herald – exclusive!
The Prime Minister has faced many difficulties over the past weeks - Brexit, terrorist attacks in Manchester and London, a poor election showing and...
New phrase ‘Wankers Dozen’ defined as ‘Britain First meeting’
The Rochdale to English Dictionary today confirmed it would be adding the colloquial phrase 'wankers dozen' to their 2019 edition. The R.E.D.'s official definition...
Brexiteers Celebrate Scrapping of Human Rights Act
Today The Justice Secretary announced the scrapping of The Human Rights Act as outlined in the Tory Manifesto to a room full of Sith...
McVities recall 100,000 packets of Hobnobs after putting chocolate on wrong side
Biscuit giant McVities have issued an urgent product recall of their chocolate hobnob range, after it was found that a recent batch of the...
Chinese cardboard rocket manufacturers report bumper earnings following Korean military parades
Manufacturers of gigantic cardboard rockets and inflatable tanks have reported record profits for April following Kim Jong Un's massive display of military force.
"It's been...
Rochdale’s secret Nuclear Past REVEALED
Shock revelations have shaken Rochdale to its very core as documents from the cold war have been declassified, revealing that the 7 sisters were...
Satirists across the globe have a day off due to lack of news
The Daily Mash, NewsThump, SNN and The Poke all refused to post content today as world events seemed to have ground a to halt.
"A...
Lemming suicide myth rebunked
For many years the myth persisted that Lemmus lemmus, known to you and I as the lemming, would inexplicably hurl itself into the abyss...
Boris’ Barney buggering off says barber
In a hair raising exclusive, The Rochdale Herald has discovered the secret to the frankly unhinged character of the Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson is...
Ruins of city unearthed by earthquake “just Hull” archaeologists told
Excitement in the archaeological world this weekend turned to bitter disappointment after archaeologists discovered the ruins of a primitive civilisation on the Yorkshire cost...
