UKIP contains more pricks than Eric Bristow’s dartboard
The political establishment was rocked today when new research conclusively proved that the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) contains more pricks than world famous darts...
Labour reports sophisticated cyberattack after Jeremy Corbyn’s MySpace account is hacked
The Labour Party has announced that it has been the subject of a cyberattack today.
A spokesman told us, "We first became aware of the...
Helen Mirren to impersonate the Queen during Trump state visit
The Rochdale Herald understands that award winning actress Helen Mirren will impersonate the Queen should President Trump's proposed state visit to the UK go...
Corbyn “gives” Labour MP’s free vote on Trident
Besieged Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn has generously given the MP's in the Labour Party the opportunity to vote with their conscience rather than...
Weather still not good enough to lure sulky teenager out of his bedroom
Despite the change in the weather, cloudless skies and temperatures in the high 20s, it is still not enough to persuade moody teenager, Damian...
Doing Right Thing Would Set Dangerous Precedent, Says Prime Minister
Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that she won't intervene in David Cameron's scheme to reward all his mates with Honours.
"Listen here," said an...
Brexit Cancelled as Civil Servants Finally Read “Article 50”
All nations attending Treaty discussions are only allocated one car parking space.
UK plans for "Brexit" have hit the buffers after Westminster Civil Servants finally...
People with no connection to the USA celebrate Independence Day
People with absolutely no connection to the United States of America have been inexplicably celebrating US Independence Day today.
Cliff Edge told us, "I got...
Babies born in Britain today to hear about home ownership via myths and legends
Researchers from the Rochdale Institute for Social Morphology released today the results of their latest study into the changing oral traditions of the British...
Not drinking alcohol only makes life feel a lot longer, confirm experts
Not drinking will make your life feel a lot longer, according to a study that suggests not being a little bit drunk every day...
Blairite Entryism Not A Big Deal, Insist Blairites
It was revealed today that a Blairite peer, a hedge fund manager, several rich business types and a Liberal Democrat Lord were behind the...
First shipment of thoughts and prayers arrive for those made homeless by Grenfell Fire
The first shipment of thoughts and prayers has arrived in Kensington to be distributed amongst those left homeless by the fire that destroyed Grenfell Tower one week ago.
Hunt saboteurs can’t feel pain, government declares
The government has voted to reject a bill that recognises that hunt saboteurs are humans who feel pain and emotion.
Following an incident over the...
Northerners scared by red sun consult wise woman and prepare sacrifices
Looking outside this morning millions of British citizens were confronted by an unusually shade of overcast and the sun glowing a curious red.
Researchers from...
Which filthy johnny foreigner should you blame for Covid-19?
All over Britain, McDonald's branches are silent and your gran might die from Covid-19. The PC libtards say this is a result of complex...
Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP
Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.
