Smiling Liam Fox

Liam Fox Claims UK First in Queue for Scottish Trade Deal

0
Liam Fox has sparked rumours that the Scottish Independence Referendum planned for 2018 was a foregone conclusion this afternoon. The furore began when Mr. Fox...

May announces textile regeneration scheme for the Northern Powerhouse

As the race for the Tory Party Leadership heats up, Teresa May has today announced transformative economic reform plans for the Northern Powerhouse. The ambitious...

New London Development Announced

0
With todays news that the Calais Jungle has been cleared of filthy asylum seekers, the ramshackle dwellings have immediately been occupied by an even...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip to star in new season of The Walking Dead

0
There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead. The show depicts characters...
Moving House

Unwanted crap in loft briefly sees light of day during house move

A VHS video recorder that has been languishing in the loft of a house in Middleton briefly saw the light of day this afternoon. The...
Wetherspoons

Wetherspoons to rebrand as “Special Circle of Hell”

0
Pub chain Wetherspoons is to re-brand as the Special Circle of Hell following an endorsement by EU President Donald Tusk. A spokesman for the company...

Woman who sweeps elephants in room under the rug wonders why her relationships don’t...

0
A Rochdale woman who has a “sweep it under the rug” approach to the elephant in the room is puzzled as to why her...

EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain

0
The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...
Vauxhall

Man in spoiler covered Vauxhall Zafira admits life hasn’t turned out as hoped

0
Warning: This article contains spoilers. Henry Profiterole, 35, was recently forced to admit that he had covered his 10 year old Vauxhall Zafira with slogans...

Nuclear holocaust averted as Southern Rail selected to deliver US missile attack

3
A spokesman for Southern Rail confirmed to the Rochdale Herald that in view of the anticipated two day delay the four minute warning given in advance of nuclear attacks would consequently be extended to 2,880 minutes.

Scotland’s oldest man dies aged 35

0
Tributes have been paid to Gregor McGregor, Scotland's oldest man who died today aged 35.  An angry man with an impenetrable accent told us, "It's...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn urges Labour MP’s to get behind Theresa May or risk making him...

0
Jeremy Corbyn has told Labour MP's that they had better get behind Theresa May and her, "And then there were none" vision of Brexit...
Big Ben Fireworks

Recently renamed London landmark Massive Mohammed to ring out for Diwali despite repairs

There will be fewer quiet nights during October after the authorities in charge of the House of Commons agreed to give the recently renamed...
KFC

KFC announce they’ve run out of ice

0
First they ran out of chicken; Then it was gravy. Now KFC have run out of ice cubes. Ruth Sanders of Rochdale KFC said, "We've...

Tommy Robinson supporter disappointed by lack of Muslim no-go areas in London

0
A Tommy Robinson supporter from Rochdale has told of his disappointment at discovering London isn't a Muslim no-go area dominated by Sharia Law. Cliff Edge...

Rochdale Herald Editor knighted in New Year’s Honours List

0
The editor of the Rochdale Herald, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been knighted for services to fake news. Mr Fortesqueue, 58, said he was delighted...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts