No we don’t want to build a bloody snowman, confirm children

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Children around the UK have confirmed that they don't want to build another bloody snowman. With rain, sleet, snow and more bloody awful weather forecast...

Hampstead Heath Glory Holes to close in respect for George Michael

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Regular visitors to Hampsted Heath have been informed all glory holes will be closed from tomorrow as a mark of respect to George Michael. A...

Revealed: GCHQ Toaster Hack Turns Leavers Into Remainers…

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An exclusive Herald investigation has revealed the extent to which the government's monitoring agency GCHQ can manipulate public opinion through the hacking of common...

BBC Breakfast mix up Sturgeon with Gorilla

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BBC Breakfast has apologised after images of the gorilla Kumbuka, whose recent non-escape filled a slow news day, were shown on screen instead of...

Prince Philip says secret to easy life is having somebody to iron your socks

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Everyone is always talking about the youthful composure of our national treasure Prince Phillip. Now his retirement has been announced, the spritely Greek has...

Husband remembers to do thing

There were ecstatic scenes in Rochdale this afternoon after a Middleton resident remembered to do the thing he'd been asked to do earlier in...

Stoke returning officer opened wrong envelope: Nuttall real winner!

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Stoke's election Returning Officer was forced to admit to an embarrassing mistake when he opened the wrong envelope and declared Labour had won. "I was...

Prince Charles urges Queen to visit people infected with Coronavirus

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Prince Charles is believed to be privately urging the Queen to visit 
The Queen

Queen announces Prince Harry will become King of the USA following wedding to Meghan...

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The Queen has announced that she exercise her right to crown Prince Harry and Meghan Markle King and Queen of the USA. During the announcement...

Iain Duncan Smith ‘devastated’ he may have to wait six weeks for knighthood

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Iain Duncan Smith, MP for Chingford and Woodford Green, says strict investiture rules mean he could be forced to wait as long as six...

UKIP elects Diane James leader

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Diane James was elected the leader of UKIP yesterday and has already been causing controversy on account of not being Nigel Farage. People outside of...

First shipment of thoughts and prayers arrive for those made homeless by Grenfell Fire

The first shipment of thoughts and prayers has arrived in Kensington to be distributed amongst those left homeless by the fire that destroyed Grenfell Tower one week ago.

Doncaster couple finally getting some use out of speed boat they won on Bullseye...

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Doncaster residents Bill and Orla Board have been telling the Rochdale Herald how they have finally found a use for the speed boat they...
Big Ben

Sound of Jeremy Hunt flushing money down forty grand toilet replaces Big Ben chimes...

3
NHS workers and the general public were reassured this morning to learn Jeremy Hunt flushing money down his new toilet will replace the sound...
Rees Mogg

Universal Credit cheaper way to kill the poor than building gas chambers, says Jacob...

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Jacob Rees-Mogg has astounded many people by stating that the Universal Credit fiasco is the cheapest way the Government has come up with to...
Prime Minister

Theresa May demands everyone gets behind flat Earth theory

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Theresa May is to urge Tory delegates to get behind her theory that the Earth is actually flat. Mrs May is telling everyone they need...

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