Stop calling florid cheeked alcoholic racists gammon, it’s racist, say pigs
Pig's have been telling us that calling alcoholic racists gammon is racist.
Pig, Stan Still said, "It's racist and it trivialises our sacrifice. Millions of...
Sturgeon Scotland Indyref Goes to Defcon Fandouble-Dozi
Nicola Sturgeon has told Theresa May that she is not "bluffing" on the promise of a second independence and has gone to Defcon Fandabidoubledozi!
In...
Extreme weather leaves KFC with too much chicken
As 'The Beast From The East' takes a firm hold across the UK, KFC have announced that it is overrun with chicken as no...
Mime artist finds way out of glass box
Mime artists across the world are silently applauding the first ever recorded occurrence of a mime artist breaking out of a glass box.
There was...
Rees-Mogg reveals time travel is workable Irish border solution
Jacob Rees-Mogg has revealed that the Irish border issue can be easily and practically solved using time travel.
Rees-Mogg revealed the plan today in a...
Gyms too fucking busy, confirm everybody
Britain's gyms are in a state of absolute chaos as billions of people descended on them today.
It was standing room only in every single...
The Queen asks Merkel to form a government
Her Majesty the Queen is expected to travel to Berlin later today to ask German Chancellor Angela Merkel to form a government for the...
People who tell it like it is always bloody cretins, reveal experts
Ground-breaking cooperative research between experts in Linguistics, Social Sciences, and Psychology sheds light on evidence that those who "tell it like it is" are...
Parents Bigger Liars Than Politicians
Research done by students at Rochdale's Kingsway Park school suggests that parents are bigger liars than politicians.
6th Former Tom Wilkes who was head of the...
You don’t know what love is ’til you hold your baby for the first...
Forget looking into your bride's eyes on your wedding day, you don't know what love is until you become a parent and hold your...
Dominic Raab announces sanctions on Isle of Aran
Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool Tower in...
Woman who tried hummus recently is now into yoga, and expanding her consciousness.
A woman who tried hummus for the first time at a party recently is now into yoga, composting and expanding her consciousness.
Poppy Cox had...
Convertible car owner not as smug after leaving the top down last night
Sandra Numpton of Heywood has spent the last few days driving around in her convertible Mini Cooper, sun glasses on, hair in the wind,...
Brexit decided by a swift round of ‘Bullseye’
It was revealed today that the Brexit deal was decided by the British government and the EC leaders taking part in an episode of...
You moved a little bit so obviously that means we’re going for a walk,...
A family pet in North Yorkshire has jumped to the conclusion that he is about to go for a walk after his owner crossed...
Ransomware means government absolutely definitley needs to read your Snapchat
The recent ransomware attack on the NHS and many others across the world definitely means that GCHQ need to read your email, announced...
