Tories announce mass culling of Wombles
Animal rights protesters were today up in arms after the news that the culling of Wombles is to go ahead as recent indications suggest...
Shock as Pudsey Bear arrested just one hour before Children in Need goes live
The BBC is in a state of chaos and panic this evening as they desperately scramble to find a replacement for Children in Need...
Labour to campaign for Liberal Democrats in June 8th General Election
Diane Abbott was resurrected this afternoon to speak to a journalist of sorts, on the BBC.
Ms Abbott used one of her last possible...
Expat Moans About EU Citizens in UK
A British expat has hailed Parliament's rejection of EU citizens' right to stay in the UK post Brexit.
Speaking from beside his swimming pool at...
Anger as Rochdale drops out of top 5 towns for childhood obesity
Rochdale residents have reacted with anger after it was revealed that Rochdale has dropped from 4th to 9th in the UK's childhood obesity ranking.
12...
Michael Fish assures Virgin Island residents that “no hurricane on the way”
Famous weather broadcaster Michael Fish has moved to reassure British Virgin Island residents that there isn't going to be another hurricane hitting them.
However he...
Parent’s snow day ruined by children’s snow day
Not content with generally ruining your life, kids on snow days are one whinge away from being buried under that patio.
Parent and washed...
Prince Philip says secret to easy life is having somebody to iron your socks
Everyone is always talking about the youthful composure of our national treasure Prince Phillip. Now his retirement has been announced, the spritely Greek has...
David Davis-Brexit Speech in full
In a monumentous speech to the House of Commons yesterday, the Brexit Minister David Davis set out the government's plans for taking Britain out...
People who tell it like it is always bloody cretins, reveal experts
Ground-breaking cooperative research between experts in Linguistics, Social Sciences, and Psychology sheds light on evidence that those who "tell it like it is" are...
Man who forgot to take smartphone to loo with him makes full recovery
A bloke who forgot to take his iPhone to the toilet with him this morning has made a “complete” recovery following “breakthrough” treatment with...
Woman captures the spirit of Christmas by screening calls, binge eating and watching Netflix.
Denise Dufite of Middleton has captured the spirit of Christmas by ignoring the twelfth phone call of the day.
Instead of answering calls from...
Paul Nuttall celebrates victory with speech outside 10 Downing Street
UKIP supremo Paul Nuttall was in jubilant mood this afternoon after seeing his party win the 2017 election with a landslide victory.
After visiting Her...
Increased racism was on the other bus say Brexiteers
Brexiteers have been quick to point out that a post-Brexit vote increase in racism was on the other bus.
Government clown Boris Johnson said, "This...
Priti Patel congratulates Boris Johnson on arrival of 3001005789th baby boy
Priti Patel, Minister for whatever the heck it is she does has been one of the first Government Ministers to congratulate Boris Johnson and...
Religious fervour hits Rochdale bus passengers
A local member of one of the world's 4200 religions is utterly convinced that his is the correct one.
Stating confidently that “It is,...
