Which filthy johnny foreigner should you blame for Covid-19?

0
All over Britain, McDonald's branches are silent and your gran might die from Covid-19. The PC libtards say this is a result of complex...

Put a bloody jumper on if you’re cold we’re not made of money, Philip...

16
“Put a jumper on and stop fiddling with the blasted thermostat, I just got it right. If you’re that blinking cold go and walk some of those wretched dogs you insist on keeping. And I’m not talking about the Fergie's sprogs!”
Celebrating Man

Rochdale man abandons Marxism after winning £10 on lottery

5
A Rochdale resident has been explaining how winning £10 on the lottery has made him re-evaluate his position on Marxism. Shea Bukharin told the Herald,...
Bank of England

Government promises next batch of fivers ‘will be halal’

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There was an outpouring of fury earlier this week from vegetarians, vegans and religious groups as it was revealed that our new £5 notes...
Couple with dog

Man thinks they’re getting dog instead of a baby

A poor deluded fool from Rochdale has convinced himself that he and his long term partner are getting a puppy instead of a baby. Steve...
Queen and Philip

Prince Philip disappointed not to get his own sparkly hat

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The Duke of Edinburgh’s retirement is entirely down to one thing, it would seem. Speculation has been rife ever since the announcement, but now...

Local journalist creates entire article from on line forum comments.

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A journalist at a Sheffield local newspaper has admitted that an entire article published in Friday's edition of the Sheffield Councilpleaser was constructed entirely...

Bloke donates money to charity without fingering a stranger

United Kingdom - A bloke from the United Kingdom has become the first man ever to make a donation to charity without sexually assaulting a stranger, according to reports.
Vauxhall

Man in spoiler covered Vauxhall Zafira admits life hasn’t turned out as hoped

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Warning: This article contains spoilers. Henry Profiterole, 35, was recently forced to admit that he had covered his 10 year old Vauxhall Zafira with slogans...

Prince Charles urges Queen to visit people infected with Coronavirus

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Prince Charles is believed to be privately urging the Queen to visit 

Arms manufacturers to commemorate the fallen dead

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Since 1919, on the second Sunday of November, otherwise known as Remembrance Sunday, a two minute silence has been observed at 11am at war...

Parent’s snow day ruined by children’s snow day

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Not content with generally ruining your life, kids on snow days are one whinge away from being buried under that patio. Parent and washed...

Blitz spirit redefined as refusing to get off bus because somebody has a milkshake

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Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on...

Daily Mail photo editor awarded the Iron Cross

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The chief photo editor for The Daily Mail has been awarded the Iron Cross this afternoon. A spokesman for The Daily Mail said, "This award...
Julian Assange

Ecuadorian embassy reveals Julian Assange has accidentally ordered a trailer tent whilst drunk

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The Ecuadorian embassy have put an advert up for the sale of a trailer tent that Julian Assange accidentally ordered whilst drunk. An embassy employee...

Michael Gove is still a bellend, says Michael Gove’s mum

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Christine Gove, adoptive mother of Michael Gove MP has come out saying "he is still a bit of a bellend." It comes after the failed...

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