Adorable baby will grow up to be massive bellend
The parents of an adorable baby in the borough of Rochdale were dismayed to learn today that statistically it is very likely that he...
Man’s life improves after running out of fucks to give
The life of a Rochdale man has improved immeasurably after he finally ran out of fucks to give.
Office manager James Harding, 38, ran...
Man spotted not wearing his ‘Big Coat’ in Rochdale, in June
In scenes that shocked many shoppers in Rochdale town centre today, two men who were visiting from far away Bolton, were seen walking through...
Outrage after child attends school Halloween party dressed as a MOSQUE
A group of parents is said to have been left "absolutely fummin (sic)" after a child turned up to a local Halloween party dressed...
Coronavirus causes charmer to consider condoms
Since moving to London, St Cuthbert's alumnus Ben Green has prided himself on, in his own words, "spreading his chutney round Putney". Claiming to...
Chris Grayling awards ferry contract to Nigerian Prince after receiving fortuitous email
Transport Secretary, Chris Grayling has announced that the Government have awarded a contract to provide ferries in the event of a no-deal Brexit.
Grayling, the...
Local hero returns from stay in hotel with both his iPhone charger and toothbrush
A local man is being hailed as some sort of hero after managing to return home from a stay in a hotel with both...
Family dog requests compassionate leave to mourn arrival of baby
Charlotte, a seven year old English Bulldog, is heart broken after a new baby was born this morning in her family.
She admits to being...
Panic on the streets of Rochdale as glowing hot yellow thing appears in the...
Panic has hit the streets of Rochdale today as a unidentified glowing hot yellow glowing orb has appeared in the sky.
Terrified Rochdale residents yesterday...
Clock in car mysteriously right again
There was befuddlement all over the UK this morning after every motorist in the country reported that the clock in the car is mysteriously...
Social Services called after parents name baby Nigel
United Kingdom - Reports are emerging that Social Services have stepped in and taken a child into care in Burnley after learning that the...
Only Democrats were killed by Hurricane Florence, claims Trump
Donald Trump has claimed all 12 people currently known to have died in the Carolinas as a result of Storm Florence were Democrats.
"Proof that...
Theresa May demands everyone gets behind flat Earth theory
Theresa May is to urge Tory delegates to get behind her theory that the Earth is actually flat.
Mrs May is telling everyone they need...
Julian Assange makes the most of the hot weather by opening a window
Julian Assange has spent the weekend enjoying the bright sunny weather by sitting in a room in the Ecuadorian embassy with a window open.
The...
Minister of Health and Social care to Employ Doctors From University of Life
Health Minster Stephen Barclay has told of his bold plan to plug the shortfall of doctors within the NHS by employing geniuses from the...
SHOCK after politician caught watching NORMAL PORN featuring adults
A former Scotland Yard detective has told the Rochdale herald he was "shocked" by the amount of legal pornography viewed on a computer seized...
