Kitchen fitter offered job as spy
Roy Clark, a 56 year old kitchen fitter from Castleton was amazed to discover that his application for Agent of Her Majesty's Secret Service...
Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods
The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district.
Army...
Prince Philip and Queen Elizabeth facing deportation post Brexit
An Emergency meeting was called at Buckingham palace earlier this week after the penny dropped with Prince Philip in regards to Brexit and complications with European immigration
"Oh...
Jim Bowen to be placed in burning speedboat in viking funeral
Jim Bowen, the comedian and inventor of darts is to receive a full viking funeral.
Mr Bowen, who invented the game of "darts" in the...
Defiant Brit resumes place in queue
Stuart Anderson, has resumed his place in the Borough Market cheese stall queue.
Anderson, 34, told the Herald that he was going to a dinner...
Completely expected and predictable weather causes travel disruption and chaos again
Britain prepares itself once again for total travel chaos and public service disruption, because of the completely predicable weather that is expected at this...
Statue of Thatcher on horseback trampling a miner to be placed in Orgreave
This week MPs have debated in parliament for the commission of a statue to commemorate the former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.
The original proposal of...
Brexiteers demand Government grants cognitive dissonance settled status
Brexiteers have demanded the Government grant settled status to cognitive dissonance. The demands come as many companies that employ lots of people in Britain...
UKIP elect Diane James leader
UKIP have elected Diane James as their new leader.
Apologies for our previous article that featured Mick Jagger from The Rollong Stones.
Our intern Douglas has...
Dog looking forward to “cower under the toilet night” this weekend
A dog has told of his love of the 5th of November festivities, or "cower under the toilet night" as it's known in the...
Rochdale IT Worker Deletes Human Rights Act
Albert Fudge, a Rochdale based web designer employed by the Conservative Party- has accidentally deleted the European Human Rights Act.
The tech boffin was asked...
Three year old child sits still and shuts up for five minutes
Unconfirmed reports are coming in from Rochdale that a three year old child sat still in contemplative silence for five whole minutes last Tuesday...
Wales announces plans to be available in colour by 2022
The Welsh national Assembly has announced plans for Cardiff to be available in colour from 2022.
Cardiff will be the first City in Wales...
Michael Fish assures Virgin Island residents that “no hurricane on the way”
Famous weather broadcaster Michael Fish has moved to reassure British Virgin Island residents that there isn't going to be another hurricane hitting them.
However he...
UK appoints man that burnt 5G mast down to plan lockdown lifting
The UK Government has announced that it has appointed a new 'Lockdown Czar' to lead plans to lift the lockdown. Bill Board from Rochdale...
Theresa May to meet Carwyn Jones to tell him to fuck off in person
Theresa May is set to meet Carwyn Jones, the First Minister of Wales to reassure him that the needs, plans, hopes and dreams of...
