Researchers at Rochdale Community University have concluded that people who “tell it like it is” are invariably complete arseholes.

“People who ‘tell it like it is’ are invariably complete arseholes.” Emeritus Professor of Casual Racism and Common Sense Garry Potter told The Herald.

“We compiled a list of people who are admired by idiots for ‘telling it like it is’. It included Katie Hopkins, Donald Trump, Nigel Farage, Christopher Biggins, Marine Le Pen and the editor of The Daily Mail. What we concluded was that generally they’re all arseholes, and surprisingly not actually telling it like it is. Specifically they’re telling it like it isn’t.”

The groundbreaking project involved several students, one copy of The Daily Express and almost 15 minutes in the pub.

“It turns out common sense isn’t actually very common.” Professor Potter continued. “We looked at almost two articles in The Daily Express about refugees. In the one we actually read they were posing the question, ‘where are all the women and children?’ underneath a photo of a load of blokes. The answer is obviously, in a different photograph.”

Other studies by the Department of Casual Racism have concluded that people who say “I’m not racist but” are definitely racist and people who say “we should look after are (sic) own” aren’t capable of looking after anybody.

Katie Hopkins was sued this week for libel after a court concluded that she hasn’t been telling it like it is, she’s just being an arsehole.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.