KFC chicken shortage averted with introduction of all new recipe

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KFC lovers around the country are thrilled that their local branches are reopening with an all new menu. Chiefs at the multi-national fast-food chain have...

Corbyn denies ‘pineapple on pizza’ allegations during lunch with genocide denier

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Jeremy Corbyn today strenuously denied having pineapple on the pizza he shared with Assad Supporting, Genocide Denier and all around Russian puppet Marcus Papadopoulos....

May Presented With Mirror After Body Shaming Corbyn

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Know Thyself, a charity dedicated to helping older people come to terms with physical changes, is to present Theresa May with a full length...
Couple with dog

Man thinks they’re getting dog instead of a baby

A poor deluded fool from Rochdale has convinced himself that he and his long term partner are getting a puppy instead of a baby. Steve...
Dignity

Bin man feared dead after ship called Dignity found wrecked off west coast

Fears are growing this evening for a Glasgow bin man whose boat has been found wrecked off the west coast of Scotland. The man, a...

Tim Farron’s Andrew Neil interview cancelled for Bake off

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Tim Farron has been left looking sheepish in his chair after Andrew Neil cancelled the Liberal Democrat leader's interview just moments into the opening statement. Neil interrupted...
Confused Man

Men to celebrate International Men’s Day by having no idea that it’s International Men’s...

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Men across the globe will celebrate International Men's Day today by being completely oblivious to the fact that it's International Men's Day. The annual event,...

Hard left protestors to protest Grenfell fire by setting fire to buildings and looting...

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Members of the hard left have announced plans to protest at the Grenfell fire by looting and setting fire to local shops it has...

Idiots declare ‘It’s officially Christmas!’ following annual sugar water advert

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The popular Coca Cola advert which includes trucks and or polar bears has aired on UK television again tonight as it does every year. Millions...

Prince Charles urges Queen to visit people infected with Coronavirus

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Prince Charles is believed to be privately urging the Queen to visit 
Stonehenge

Druids “fecking knackered” after moving Stonehenge an hour forward

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With the season now officially spring, clocks up and down the nations have been moved forward one hour to adjust to British Summer Time;...
Daily Mail Readers

Daily Mail readers hospitalised after inhaling EU migrant gas at Birling Gap

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Over one hundred patriotic Daily Mail readers were hospitalised yesterday after inhaling toxic EU migrant gas while innocently sea siding at Birling Gap. The weather...
Begging

Beggars fined for begging to pay begging fines

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Vulnerable homeless people are now being forced into longer begging hours to pay the newly introduced fines for begging. In another PR triumph for...
Theresa May

Theresa May performs celebratory podium dance

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Theresa May has celebrated her victory in the Tory Party's got talent final by performing a podium dance in the front 10 Downing Street. A...

What time is it Mr Woolfe?

Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement...
Theresa May

Kaiser Chiefs hurriedly rerelease ‘I Predict a Riot’

3
As crowds of surprisingly calm protesters gather at Westminister to demand the resignation of the recently elected droid, Maybot 2.0, The Kaiser Chiefs are...

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