National News

Reports are reaching us of shortages of some unexpected commodities in rural Scotland. This follows human slug, Rod Liddle's advice in Der Spectator that people should self isolate there and subsequently referred to an SNP...

Scotland's first minister has said autumn 2018 would be a "common sense" date for a 4th independence referendum. Nicola Sturgeon continued to insist, however, that English arrogance, the poor performance of Celtic in the Champions...

Long held tensions between Orthodox Vegans & followers of it's subsidiary Fruitarianism about which is the most ethical way of life finally came to a head in spectacular style this morning. Police were called to...

A teabag is currently entering its second month of lying in state on a little plate by the kettle in the kitchen. Barbara Dickinson of Rochdale placed the teabag on the little plate by the...

UK retailers were left smirking knowingly today as momentum gathered for the Buy Nothing Day campaign, being run on the same day as Black Friday.  The campaign which urges people not to buy a single...

Piers Morgan has been revealed as the new face of men's rights campaign 'Free the Ballbag'. Inspired by the feminist 'Free The Nipple' movement, the campaign aims to fight against what it calls a 'vaginocentric...

Photographs have emerged of armed police confronting a diver on Rochdale's now notorious Stansfield Beach. In this most recent effort to enforce new laws forbidding outfits that cover the head and body, police forced...

A source within the Conservative Party has confirmed today that they plan to murder all of the potholes in the country should they win the next general election. Unveiling a groundbreaking policy to fix something...

London Mayor Sadiq Khan said, “I welcome the decision by parliament to allow London’s rich culture to be reflected in its most loved landmarks. We all know and love Big Ben’s regular chimes and I am certain Londoners will come to appreciate the melodic chant of the Adhan five times a day.”

Julian Assange has spent the weekend enjoying the bright sunny weather by sitting in a room in the Ecuadorian embassy with a window open. The native of Ecuador told the Herald, "This morning was very reminiscent...

With only two days of campaigning left before the general election, polling suggests that Rupert Murdoch is still on course to become Britain’s longest-serving Prime Minister. Despite an upsurge in support for Labour over the...

The world waited with baited breath for David Davis' speech in which he was expected to reveal the government's plans for exiting the EU. The speech was timed to take place at the exact...

In a bid to balance the left leaning opinions of Mayor Magid Magid, Sheffield City Council have unveiled a new road in the south of the city which has been named after Right-Wing commentator,...

A bloke who gave a rabble rousing speech to a bunch of Nazis in Germany has put out a plea on social media asking people to please stop comparing him to Hitler. The man, who...

In a world first a group of lads from Rochdale have posed the question, "why can't we just do something civilised and get a good night's sleep" when asked what they should do for...

Details leaked from an article due to be published in the Daily Mail show plans to bulldoze the famous neolithic landmark to make way for a place of worship for Salisbury Plain's burgeoning Muslim...