A Rochdale Momentum member has told us that claims of anti-Semetism made by Chief Rabbi Ephraim Mervis are proof that there is a media conspiracy against the Labour Party.

“In no way is there anti-Semetism in the Labour Party, thee’s no evidence of it. If there were there would be people walking round with the regulation ant-Semite hat on. But nobody is wearing that hat.”

“But look who the Chief Rabbi is friends with? Boris Johnson and various people who own newspapers is who. Look, here is a picture of him holding hands with Boris. In no way is it anti-Semetic to suggest that the Chief Rabbi is somehow helping to control the Government and the newspapers. That’s skepticism and critical thinking and definitely not a centuries old ant-Semetic trope.”

Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, “It’s weird how they don’t seem to see the irony in suggesting that the Chief Rabbi being added to a list of people controlling the media and the Government isn’t somehow anti-Semetic. Perhaps if their leadership weren’t a bunch of dithering cement heads they wouldn’t need to come up with these excuses as they’d actually be annihilating one of the most incompetent Government’s there has ever been. But know, it’s the fault of the media.”

The Rochdale Herald would like to take this moment to point out that the Tory Party face have issues with Islamaphobia as apparently, two wrongs do make a right.

When asked about what should be done the Momentum member said, “All Jewish people need to realise what anti-Semetism is. The Labour Party will work together to establish a series of workhops to explain what anti-Semetism is. The workshop is definitely not a special camp for Jews.”

We tried to contact the Labour Party on the issue but they couldn’t decide if they were in or not.

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.