Government promises next batch of fivers ‘will be halal’
There was an outpouring of fury earlier this week from vegetarians, vegans and religious groups as it was revealed that our new £5 notes...
Prime Minister to help poor by donating fox meat to food banks
Theresa May has today unveiled plans to improve the diet of malnourished children in areas with high levels poverty.
"This is a great policy that kills...
Church still rich, poor still poor
Churches like those associated with Christians and Catholics are still really bloody wealthy a recent survey has shown.
The news will come as no surprise...
Navy admiral rejects job because he can spot a sinking ship when he sees...
The controversy over the U.S. National Security Advisor position continues as Trump’s most recent nominee for the position, retired vice admiral Robert S Harward, rejected the...
Minister of Health and Social care to Employ Doctors From University of Life
Health Minster Stephen Barclay has told of his bold plan to plug the shortfall of doctors within the NHS by employing geniuses from the...
PC BBC bans ‘graphically violent’ crucifixion depictions for Easter
In a controversial move, the BBC has announced it will be 'normalising' it's guidelines for showing scenes of violence, by banning all images of...
Theresa May to headline Latitude Festival
Not to be outdone by Corbyn's appearance at Glastonbury last weekend, May hastily forms new band to perform at Latitude this July.
In the kind...
Chinese cardboard rocket manufacturers report bumper earnings following Korean military parades
Manufacturers of gigantic cardboard rockets and inflatable tanks have reported record profits for April following Kim Jong Un's massive display of military force.
"It's been...
KFC announce they’ve run out of ice
First they ran out of chicken; Then it was gravy. Now KFC have run out of ice cubes.
Ruth Sanders of Rochdale KFC said, "We've...
Scotland’s oldest man dies aged 35
Tributes have been paid to Gregor McGregor, Scotland's oldest man who died today aged 35.
An angry man with an impenetrable accent told us, "It's...
Unemployed layabout doesn’t want £350m a year job shaking hands and waving
The people of the United Kingdom were reassured this morning by Prince Harry's statement that he does not want to be king and will...
Prince Charles urges Queen to visit people infected with Coronavirus
Prince Charles is believed to be privately urging the Queen to visit
Boris Johnson promises £350M a week to the recovery of the British Virgin Islands
Boris Johnson, United Kingdom Foreign Secretary and all round honest broker, took the airwaves via the Today programme this morning to promise the UK...
Britain gears up for Dianageddon
A lack of Britain shooting itself in the foot and Donald Trump not doing something stupid for a few days has left Britain to...
Prince Andrew says he has no recollection of meeting Emily Maitlis or appearing on...
Prince Andrew has denied allegations that he met Emily Maitlis or even appeared on the TV show, Newsnight. Despite over 1 million people having...
Outrage after child attends school Halloween party dressed as a MOSQUE
A group of parents is said to have been left "absolutely fummin (sic)" after a child turned up to a local Halloween party dressed...
