National News

Whitehall: A Conservative cabinet minister who went on the loose for about six hours after escaping from his enclosure has been safely recaptured. The animal,...

Men all over the world are reluctantly conceding that now might be a good time to start their Christmas shopping. "If I start shopping at...

After celebrating the amazing success of Team GB at the Winter Games, winning 5 medals at a cost of only £28 million, the whole...

A man whose cooking skills don't extend beyond pressing the 'start' button on his microwave is looking forward to another night of shouting at...

Spain has confessed to the international community today that the word Tapas actually translates as 'not enough food'.  The revelation comes after local office drone...

Social scientists have revealed a study that shows a correlation between the decline in the British sense of humour and decline in pub chat. Dr...

A cat who took a poo in a litter tray lined with a copy of the Daily Mail has been named as new editor...

Conservatives clap to celebrate clear lead as misdirectional muppetry f/makes news yet again after the Telegraph published the definitely not at all orchestrated and not tailored...

A former Scotland Yard detective has told the Rochdale herald he was "shocked" by the amount of legal pornography viewed on a computer seized...

“It’s like Frankenstein’s monster. You create this and release it there is no telling what harm it will do once it realises it has thumbs. Better instead to give the chancer a Lordship and let him never turn up to the House of Lords. It will be exactly the same as his ‘work’ as an MEP. Put him on a few committees and you’ll never see him again.”

The country has breathed a sigh of relief after Wiltshire Constabulary indicated that they had not had to deploy their counter-terrorism unit, it has...

Former Tory minister and leading Brexit campaigner Michael Gove has called on the government to slash EU regulations on cannibalism which he claims have...

Government manicurists today rushed to Theresa May's aid following a nail injury, frantically claiming it was merely "chipped varnish". As finger after taloned finger...

Health campaigners in Scotland have urged the SNP government to take immediate action after an Edinburgh chip shop was found to be selling deep-fried...

Royal offspring are like the grown up children who return to the nest once they have completed their time in higher education. You think...

Britain prepares itself once again for total travel chaos and public service disruption, because of the completely predicable weather that is expected at this...