Shock as Pudsey Bear arrested just one hour before Children in Need goes live
The BBC is in a state of chaos and panic this evening as they desperately scramble to find a replacement for Children in Need...
People that pull statues down to face different level of justice to people that...
The Government has confirmed that the people that pulled a statue down over the weekend will face a different level of justice to those...
Rochdale voted town most likely to turn to cannibalism first in post Brexit food...
Success came to Rochdale today as Britain voted and decided that Rochdale was the town most likely to first turn to cannibalism in the...
KFC announce they’ve run out of ice
First they ran out of chicken; Then it was gravy. Now KFC have run out of ice cubes.
Ruth Sanders of Rochdale KFC said, "We've...
‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law
A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear.
We caught...
Unemployed mother on benefits knocked up AGAIN
It's all over social media that an unemployed mother on state benefits, who already has two kids, is knocked up yet again.
Scotland’s oldest man dies aged 35
Tributes have been paid to Gregor McGregor, Scotland's oldest man who died today aged 35.
An angry man with an impenetrable accent told us, "It's...
Bloke In A Pub Claims Responsibility For Royal Pregnancy
A bloke in a pub has claimed that the Duchess of Cambridge’s unborn child is his, reports have confirmed.
Unemployed Willie Eckerslike, 42, from Rochdale,...
Last week’s news roundup
Head of Britain First, Paul Golding, was arrested and sentenced to prison for obsessively visiting places he supposedly hates. He reportedly hates prison too...
Only one more sleep until Dads start Christmas shopping
Dads are said to be giddy with excitement at the news that it's only one more sleep until they can start their Christmas shopping.
Dads...
Kaiser Chiefs hurriedly rerelease ‘I Predict a Riot’
As crowds of surprisingly calm protesters gather at Westminister to demand the resignation of the recently elected droid, Maybot 2.0, The Kaiser Chiefs are...
Labour MP Needs To Bathe In Ocean
Wanky-named cod impersonator and Labour MP Thangar Debonairre (ironically in charge of modern culture!) was recently told to "Get in the sea," by a...
Dog walkers foil Brexit
A group of dog walkers in West London found a way to foil what has become known locally as "bRexit" after a dog nearly...
Make America Great Again
We keep hearing Donald saying he's going to make America great again, sounds good to us but we were curious to find out when...
Satirists across the globe have a day off due to lack of news
The Daily Mash, NewsThump, SNN and The Poke all refused to post content today as world events seemed to have ground a to halt.
"A...
Prince Philip to star in new season of The Walking Dead
There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead.
The show depicts characters...
