Chelsea Pensioner breaks Paul Golding’s nose
Biffer bashed as Veteran rejects attempt to hijack Remembrance Sunday
Remembrance Sunday is commemorated every year on the second Sunday of November to mark the...
Scandal as NewsThump admits to making stuff up
A scandal is breaking in the media industry with allegations of editorial impropriety at NewsThump, one of the world's most trusted online news sources.
Trusted by...
Theresa May refuses to attend the General Election
After appointing her recently bereaved Home Secretary, Amber Rudd, to take
flack from 'the most left wing audience since a Stalin rally' - Daily Mail,
in...
Santa slams rumours that he doesn’t exist as “fake news”
Father Christmas of North Pole fame is said to be fuming like a well mulled wine after a rumour has spread that he doesn't...
Captain Tom finally able to pay Wonga loan off
Captain Tom Moore is reportedly thrilled that his fundraising has been so successful that he's finally able to pay off a loan he took...
Catlike powers wasted on cats
According to research at the institute of institutes catlike powers are absolutely wasted on cats.
Researchers have discovered that despite having incredible superpower like abilities...
Arseholes unaware it’s not the Fifth of November
Arseholes up and down the country are unaware that it is not the fifth of November, it has been confirmed.
From London to Liverpool, the...
Builder finishes job on time and under budget
A small building firm in Lancashire has become the first builder in the history of the industry to finish a job on time and...
Elmer Fudd resigns as Home Secretary
The Home Secretary Elmer Fudd has resigned, Downing Street has said.
Mr Fudd, was due to make a Commons Statement on Monday about the Windrush...
Nuttall pulls out of Stoke by-election
NHS hating, pathological liar and leader of UKIP, Paul Nuttall, has today pulled out of the Stoke by-election after it was revealed that his remaining...
This week already pissed off with itself and planning a holiday
Millions of Microsoft outlook users are about to receive an unexpected update in their calendars.
The Rochdale Herald has just received an email from an...
London celebrates first “Gammon Pride” event
Scotland Yard and the Met Police are bracing for potential violent clashes at a "Gammon Pride" event being held in London today.
The event will...
Rolf Harris to paint The Queen again for TV comeback special
Former popular television presenter to repaint Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth following release from prison.
Rolf Harris, 87, is rumoured to be looking at the possibility...
Wise Men slam ‘unreasonable expectations’ as ‘Virgin’ Mary’s first sausage is a foot-long manger...
Some wise men have today hit back at a high street bakers claiming that their 'Foot-Long Sausage Roll' creates unrealistic expectations about baked goods....
Your Mum has a dildo
Children all over the country are coming to terms with the horrifying reality that their Mums have at least one dildo.
Britain First blame Foreigner for it being Cold As Ice
We don't care if you've heard this joke before, because for us, it Feels Like The First Time.
Dirty White Boy fan club Britain First...
