No we don’t want to build a bloody snowman, confirm children
Children around the UK have confirmed that they don't want to build another bloody snowman.
With rain, sleet, snow and more bloody awful weather forecast...
Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle should settle rift with bikini jelly wrestling demand Daily...
Daily Express readers have today demanded that Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton settle their differences with a bout of bikini jelly wrestling.
Express reader, Ian...
Conspiracy theorists disappointed to learn nobody is in charge
Two Rochdale conspiracy theorists have been telling the Herald that they've come to the conclusion that nobody is in charge.
The pair, known only as...
Government vows to tackle crime now wealthy are affected
The Government has pledged to start tackling violent crime now that it's affecting wealthy people in London.
A Spokesman for Theresa May said, "When the...
Boost for NHS as Government pledges 50% of uncollected change from vending machines over...
The NHS received a much needed boost today, after Number 10 kindly pledged to plough a sizeable portion of uncollected change from all Government...
Children of middle class parents begin Christmas paperwork
The children of middle class parents all over the country are celebrating the rest of their holidays by doing paperwork.
Anti-peerage remoaner experiences Damascene Conversion on House of Lords
Longtime liberal anti-peerage system remoaner Steve Dickinson has experienced a miraculous Road to Damascus Moment.
For years local libtard Steve Dickinson has posted memes about...
First shipment of thoughts and prayers arrive for those made homeless by Grenfell Fire
The first shipment of thoughts and prayers has arrived in Kensington to be distributed amongst those left homeless by the fire that destroyed Grenfell Tower one week ago.
Labour lose 30 seats in boundary adjustment, laugh Tories
The Conservative Party and the conservative government have denied that the electoral boundary change proposals are an attempt to ensure a Conservative advantage.
"It's just...
Parent’s snow day ruined by children’s snow day
Not content with generally ruining your life, kids on snow days are one whinge away from being buried under that patio.
Parent and washed...
Corbyn train lie proves case for nationalisation
After it was revealed today that Jeremy Corbyn lied about having to sit on the floor of a train he claimed was ram packed,...
Anger as Rochdale drops out of top 5 towns for childhood obesity
Rochdale residents have reacted with anger after it was revealed that Rochdale has dropped from 4th to 9th in the UK's childhood obesity ranking.
12...
I’ve already wrapped all my Christmas presents, say terrifying psychopaths
Terrifying psychopaths around the country have taken time out from planning murders and disembowelling their neighbour's pets to tell The Rochdale Herald that they...
Bloke with neck tattoo does really, really well in job interview
A bloke with a tattoo of a skull on his neck has done really, really well in a job interview today.
Harvey Wallbanger, 22, from...
Theresa May demands everyone gets behind flat Earth theory
Theresa May is to urge Tory delegates to get behind her theory that the Earth is actually flat.
Mrs May is telling everyone they need...
British Company Based In Britain Backs Britain
Brexiters across the land are jubilantly crying "We told you so!" after GlaxoSmithKline, a UK company, based in the UK, that wanted the UK...
