Cummings reveals he was attending Durham Pizza Express

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Dominic Cummings has dramatically revealed that he was visiting Durham's Pizza Express on the advice of Prince Andrew. In a televised interview Cummings said, "I...

Satirists run out of ink

Thousands of satirists across the UK and their tens of readers around the world face a crisis as the supplies of ink slowed to...

Wales announces plans to be available in colour by 2022

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The Welsh national Assembly has announced plans for Cardiff to be available in colour from 2022. Cardiff will be the first City in Wales...

Life is meaningless and everything dies, concludes child on ‘day out’ to historic town

A child from Rochdale has concluded that life is meaningless and that everything dies during a visit to York with his parents during the...

Emergency services respond to man with spade in head

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Ambulance crews were called to an address in Wigan this morning after a local man suffered head injuries. The man's wife called 999 after her...

Dirty Politics

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Britain's next Prime Minister is guaranteed to be female but what most people don't know yet is that only one of the contenders will...
Wetherspoons

Wetherspoons to rebrand as “Special Circle of Hell”

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Pub chain Wetherspoons is to re-brand as the Special Circle of Hell following an endorsement by EU President Donald Tusk. A spokesman for the company...
Votey McVoteface

Esther McVey resigns to spend more time with other people’s families

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Esther McVey, a former television presenter and now a falling star in Westminster, relishes her career - but admits to no regrets in her...
Love Actually

Christmas ruined after husband caught shagging secretary on Christmas Eve

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Christmas is officially ruined after the managing director of a local advertising agency was caught by his wife bonking his secretary on Christmas Eve. Father...

People who ‘say it like it is’ invariably arseholes groundbreaking research concludes

Researchers at Rochdale Community University have concluded that people who "tell it like it is" are invariably complete arseholes. "People who 'tell it like it...
Anger as southerners omit cockwomble from the OFCOM Swearing Top 10

Anger as Southerners Omit Cockwomble from the OFCOM Swearing Top 10

There was anger on the streets of Rochdale last night as "Cockwomble" was controversially left out of Ofcom's Top 10 of swear words. Ofcom, an...
Rees Mogg Farage

Get behind my nutters version of Brexit says Jacob Rees-Mogg

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Jacob Rees-Mogg has attempted to counter accusations that he has no Brexit plan by unveiling one so fancifully insane a Texan jury wouldn't recommend...
Philip

Prince Philip and Queen Elizabeth facing deportation post Brexit

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An Emergency meeting was called at Buckingham palace earlier this week after the penny dropped with Prince Philip in regards to Brexit and complications with European immigration "Oh...

Ed Millibland’s Tombstone to be Used for Thousands of Homes

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The polls that are currently condemning Jeremy Corbyn to fail once predicted success for the socially inept, humanoid shaped play doh figure, Ed Millibland.  It's...
Inclement weather

Facebook Meteorologists Out In Force

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The annual outing of Facebook Meteorologists is in full swing. Facebook servers are under severe strain from the pictures of the first inclement weather...
Sturgeon

Autumn 2022 “common sense date for IndyRef 4” says Sturgeon

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Scotland's first minister has said autumn 2018 would be a "common sense" date for a 4th independence referendum. Nicola Sturgeon continued to insist, however, that...

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