Wonga to rebrand as Universal Credit Day Loans
The Autumn Budget 2017 announced changes to Universal Credit, merging the government's flagship benefits payment scheme with short-term high-cost credit provider Wonga.
Mr B.Starde a...
Government reveals latest cohort of “freak and misfit” advisors
The Government has announced that it has recruited some more "freaks and weirdos" as advisors following the resignation of noted weirdo, Andrew Sabisky.
A spokesman...
Sun exposes Cable as Strawberry fool
Liberal democrat leadership candidate "SIR" Vince Cable has been left looking a plum strawberry fool after his claim that Britain was running out of...
Corbyn press relationship hits the buffers following Traingate
Jeremy Corbyn had an uncomfortable day today as he was asked a series of questions by journalists after being caught bullshitting about the state...
TFL confirms London Underground to be extended to Scotland by 2021
London's continued plans to absorb the entirety of Great Britain into the never ending tentacles of its grotesque boundaries were handed a huge boost...
Being a Menace when you’re called Dennis now about as plausible as being a...
The Beano have announced they are going to change one of their longest running characters names.
Despite its wonderful rhyme, bosses at the...
Council has enough grit
A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the...
Local journalist creates entire article from on line forum comments.
A journalist at a Sheffield local newspaper has admitted that an entire article published in Friday's edition of the Sheffield Councilpleaser was constructed entirely...
March Against Hate Wins World Irony Cup
The World Irony Championship has been cancelled for 2017 after anti-Muslims calling themselves UK Against Hate held a march against extremism.
“We normally wait until...
Babies born in Britain today to hear about home ownership via myths and legends
Researchers from the Rochdale Institute for Social Morphology released today the results of their latest study into the changing oral traditions of the British...
Builder who did the quote for Buckingham Palace sucked air through his teeth first
After a quick survey of Buckingham Palace on Thursday, 38 year old builder, Barry Burford reportedly said;
"Well, there's the pointing, supplies, man hours, that...
Office worker pops supressing huge fart during 5 hour meeting
Tragedy struck a small IT company in Dorking yesterday after one of its office workers brave efforts to tame a particularly brutal build-up of...
It’s not our fault you can’t afford a house, say Thatcherite geriatrics to younger...
British geriatrics were claiming victory this afternoon in the long held ‘it was better in the old days’ debate against younger demographics.
Research released by...
Prince Philip in grim reaper racist remark gaffe
Hospital staff were apparently left flabbergasted at the Duke of Edinburgh's casually racist remarks during a recent impromptu visit by Death, the harvester of...
New BananaPhone for men undersized, unreliable, and turns itself off when you want to...
The new BananaPhone has been launched exclusively at the male market. It has a retractable cover which simply pulls down for ease of use,...
New phrase ‘Wankers Dozen’ defined as ‘Britain First meeting’
The Rochdale to English Dictionary today confirmed it would be adding the colloquial phrase 'wankers dozen' to their 2019 edition. The R.E.D.'s official definition...
