Women who can close car doors can crash cars too, chuckles Duke of Edinburgh
Palace sources reveal Philip's delight at Meghan's unusual approach to royal protocol
Arriving at the Royal Academy of Arts to attend her first solo event...
May sets UK up for long March to Brexit
Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable.
The Conservative party used their parliamentary...
Town centres full of fat topless pricks for some reason
Town centres are chock full of topless, pasty white fat pricks for some reason according to sources.
For some reason thousands upon thousands of fat...
Defiant Brit resumes place in queue
Stuart Anderson, has resumed his place in the Borough Market cheese stall queue.
Anderson, 34, told the Herald that he was going to a dinner...
Roller coaster that maimed young people perfect metaphor for Brexit says The Sun
The Sun "Newspaper" has chosen to symbolise Brexit using a picture of the Alton Towers roller coaster, The Smiler.
One reader commented, "It's strange that...
John Lewis advert “Darkly Sinister”
John Lewis, purveyors of things that ultimately no one needs or wants, has made everything better with a darkly sinister tale about a black...
Praying for Grenfell survivors definitely the least you can do, say experts
Praying for the survivors and victims of the Grenfell Tower fire is definitely the least you can do experts have claimed.
Dr Frederick Seddon...
Parent’s snow day ruined by children’s snow day
Not content with generally ruining your life, kids on snow days are one whinge away from being buried under that patio.
Parent and washed...
Fears 40% of millenials may never have tedious home improvement conversations
There are fears that up to 40% of millennials may never be able to have tedious home improvement conversations.
Fewer and fewer people are able...
Fears Thames Beluga whale is a Russian spy
There are fears a Beluga Whale spotted swimming in the River Thames may be a Russian spy. The whale was spotted earlier this week...
Tommy Robinson disappointed Korean Barbeque wasn’t a book burning
Tommy Robinson has been explaining his disappointment at attending what he thought would be aa Koran burning event that turned out to be a...
Prince Andrew to release sex tape
Prince Andrew will release a sex tape in the cuming weeks in an effort to put to bed any rumours about his relationship with...
New EU regulations will require all new houses to have Toulouse
Flush from the success of Brexit, the EU Commission has been swift to demonstrate what the future looks like without a good hard Brit. ...
For Fuck’s Sake, sighs Britain
The entire United Kingdom muttered "for fuck's sake" in unision yesterday afternoon after learning that Boris Johnson has been "elected: new Conservative leader and...
Collins Dictionary compilers to take course in basic arithmetic after calling ‘fake news’ the...
Lexicographers who compile the Collins English Dictionary have been signed up en masse for a course in basic arithmetic, it has been revealed.
The move...
Man in spoiler covered Vauxhall Zafira admits life hasn’t turned out as hoped
Warning: This article contains spoilers.
Henry Profiterole, 35, was recently forced to admit that he had covered his 10 year old Vauxhall Zafira with slogans...
