Daily Express unveils new corporate logo

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The Daily Express as revealed a new corporate logo today that it says is more in keeping with how it and its readers view...

Woman who tried hummus recently is now into yoga, and expanding her consciousness.

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A woman who tried hummus for the first time at a party recently is now into yoga, composting and expanding her consciousness. Poppy Cox had...
En Suite

Pretentious couple install extra place to pooh in house for £20,000

A pretentious couple from Rochdale have installed another place to have a pooh in their house, for some reason. Steve and Barbara Dickinson have revealed...
Prince Harry begging

Prince Harry arrested in Windsor for aggressive begging to pay for wedding

Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police...

Collins Dictionary compilers to take course in basic arithmetic after calling ‘fake news’ the...

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Lexicographers who compile the Collins English Dictionary have been signed up en masse for a course in basic arithmetic, it has been revealed. The move...

Tit in Parliament in tits in Parliament row

Andrea Leadsom has found herself an unlikely ally in the UK's war on women and motherhood, Sammy Wilson MP. Mr Wilson, the DUP MP for...

Theresa May says alcohol and poor judgement to blame for Trump state visit

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Theresa May has been responding to calls to cancel the Trump state visit during a press conference today. Responding to criticism that the invitation for...
Houses of Parliament

SHOCK after politician caught watching NORMAL PORN featuring adults

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A former Scotland Yard detective has told the Rochdale herald he was "shocked" by the amount of legal pornography viewed on a computer seized...
Cyclist

Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children’s toys denies mid-life crisis

A Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children's toys denies mid-life crisis. A forty two year old man from Rochdale who shaves his...

Prince Philip says secret to easy life is having somebody to iron your socks

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Everyone is always talking about the youthful composure of our national treasure Prince Phillip. Now his retirement has been announced, the spritely Greek has...
Russell Brand

Russell Brand in hot water again for ‘pranking’ Andrews Sachs’ granddaughter

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Long haired Labour killer and plastic revolutionary, Russell Brand, has come under fire once again this morning after 'pranking' the granddaughter of the late...

Sun reporter accused of posing as human being to secure Grenfell Tower interview

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A complaint is to be lodged after a Sun reporter allegedly attempted to secure an interview with a Grenfell Tower resident, by posing as...
Traffic

Workman spotted doing some work on the £15BN M62 Roadworks

The bloke who is doing all the work on the £15BN M62 road improvement scheme has been spotted on site for the first time...
Anger as southerners omit cockwomble from the OFCOM Swearing Top 10

Anger as Southerners Omit Cockwomble from the OFCOM Swearing Top 10

There was anger on the streets of Rochdale last night as "Cockwomble" was controversially left out of Ofcom's Top 10 of swear words. Ofcom, an...
Fox hunting

If we didn’t hunt foxes, horses would only do it themselves

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An avid fox hunter has spoken out against the notion that his chosen 'sport' is in any way cruel to fox, hound or horse. Sir...

Extra hour…or do we lose one? Anyway clock change thingy happens

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The half of the nation whose oven clocks are correct swapped places with the half whose oven clocks are an hour or twelve out...

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