Couple looking forward to annual tedious night out, in dreadful nightclub with hideous people
A middle aged Rochdale couple are reportedly giddy with excitement about their annual tedious night out in a horrible club with hideous people tonight.
Barbara...
First Briton shocks Britain First
Researchers from London's natural history Museum have presented the results of analysis of DNA from 'Cheddar Man', Britain's oldest complete skeleton, prompting a spokesman...
Man fined for forgetting to post picture on Facebook of litter he picked up...
A man has been fined for failing to take a picture of the rubbish he picked up on a beach and post it on...
The man from Del Monte in critical condition with scurvy
80's TV ad star and renowned juice producer, Derek Monte, was rushed to hospital yesterday and immediately diagnosed with scurvy, a debilitating illness caused...
Football team goes one point ahead in Premiership.
Fans of popular football team Chelsea Albion were agog with joy today when the team went one point ahead of arch rivals Liverpool Wanderers...
Morons wondering why blizzard wasn’t averted by thin layer of salt
Millions of morons across the UK were left perplexed when a thin layer of salt didn't prevent their cars getting stuck in 3 feet...
Catlike powers wasted on cats
According to research at the institute of institutes catlike powers are absolutely wasted on cats.
Researchers have discovered that despite having incredible superpower like abilities...
Christmas ruined as Santa fails CRB check
Christmas may be cancelled as Santa has failed to get his CRB check renewed.
The revelation came last night when a Government Spokesperson said, "Santa...
Tommy Robinson distances himself from the Labour Party
Right wing folk hero Tommy Robinson has issued a statement distancing himself for The Labour Party.
The statement was issued in response to speculation that...
Sale of over-counter Viagra faces stiff opposition
The Women's Institute are lobbying the Health Secretary demanding that Viagra only be available through prescription and after consultation with a Doctor.
Recent changes bought...
Northern Expert finds London still full of wankers
Professor Emeritus of Southern Studies at the University of Leeds, Joe Roots, confirmed in his opening lecture of the 2017/18 academic term that:
“London is...
If it wasn’t for my £4m house and investment portfolio I’d be practically penniless,...
Nigel Farage, the former leader of Ukip, has told The Rochdale Herald that if it wasn't for his £4M house, his £2.5M investment portfolio...
Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW
A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that...
Theresa May: Donald Trump told me to grab EU by the pussy
Donald Trump told Theresa May that she should "grab the EU by the pussy" rather than ask for its consent, according to an interview...
Missile strike in Syria; mass outpouring of grief from OneDirection fans
Following the disastrous US missile strike in Syria yesterday which claimed the lives of 57 civilians including 11 children, teenagers and young adults around...
Thatcher stole my birthright, says man earning 100k a year
As the 40th anniversary of Margaret Thatcher's first election looms, we met Gordon Ottershaw (49) of Wetherby who maintains Thatcher stole his ability to...
