Boris Johnson to be blasted into space
The Government has announced that Boris Johnson is to be sent into space as part of its new space program.
An insider told us, "We'll...
Obvious Satire Still Confusing Idiots, Say Scientists
Researchers at the esteemed Rochdale Community University have published a study today revealing that fool-proof satire is still not fool-proof.
"We gave some angry morons...
Amber Rudd announces plan to ban envelopes
Home Secretary Amber Rudd has announced that envelopes will be banned from the end of the month.
The Home Office has also announced that all...
Roof Falling Down Fastest Thing About Southern Rail
Southern Rail execs are busy trying to figure out how to blame unions for one of their trains falling to bits on its way...
Man celebrates birthday with five back to back parties for friends of his kid
Littleborough man Andrew Bowers certainly knows how to live a little, cramming in a whopping FIVE birthday parties into his 41st birthday party weekend.
They...
Prince Harry to marry woman he is barely related to
Prince Harry is breaking with Royal protocol by marrying an American actress he is barely related to.
Kensington Palace are said to be disturbed saying...
GCHQ Samsung smart TV hack reveals threat to UK
WikiLeaks revelations that GCHQ has hacked into Samsung smart TV sets to turn them into listening devices has revealed some fascinating facts impacting on...
London pints to come with free kick in knackers from 2019
Consumers concerned with the rising price of alcohol in the UK received a welcome boost today, as it was confirmed all boozers in the...
Breaking News: Hundreds of MP’s feared dead in Catastrophic Westminster fire
This could be the headline if the Houses of Parliament aren't upgraded.
A one off special of the show 'Homes Under The Hammer' will be...
Nurses and Firemen organise whip-round to help pensioner do up her house
Well off government workers including nurses, firemen and the police are banding together to help impoverished pensioner, Liz, 91, from Windsor.
'We heard about the...
Trident Subs: Gotta catch ’em all
Speaking at the Nato summit in Warsaw this week, David Cameron has hinted that almost £16bn ear-marked for the renewal of the Trident nuclear...
OED announces Word Of The Year
The Oxford English Dictionary announced the winner of their prestigious Word Of The Year competition at a champagne gala ceremony in London's upmarket Neasden...
Theresa May performs celebratory podium dance
Theresa May has celebrated her victory in the Tory Party's got talent final by performing a podium dance in the front 10 Downing Street.
A...
Football team goes one point ahead in Premiership.
Fans of popular football team Chelsea Albion were agog with joy today when the team went one point ahead of arch rivals Liverpool Wanderers...
Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod
In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party...
Government reveals latest cohort of “freak and misfit” advisors
The Government has announced that it has recruited some more "freaks and weirdos" as advisors following the resignation of noted weirdo, Andrew Sabisky.
A spokesman...
