Outrage after child attends school Halloween party dressed as a MOSQUE
A group of parents is said to have been left "absolutely fummin (sic)" after a child turned up to a local Halloween party dressed...
London to trial riderless bikes in 2018
The announcement made at an event in central London. Mayor Sadiq Khan came onto stage to the strains of Queen's Bicycle Race to unveil...
What time is it Mr Woolfe?
Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement...
Police urge Burnley residents not to report sightings of fruit and veg in shops
Police in Burnley have been inundated with 999 calls after shops started stocking fresh fruit and veg.
Rumours that local shops had been taking secret...
Prince Philip denies sending Harry and Megan packet of mystery white powder
The Duke of Edinburgh has strenuously denied sending Prince Harry and Megan Marckle a toxic package.
The parcel was left on Harry and Megan's doorstep...
Builder who did the quote for Buckingham Palace sucked air through his teeth first
After a quick survey of Buckingham Palace on Thursday, 38 year old builder, Barry Burford reportedly said;
"Well, there's the pointing, supplies, man hours, that...
Twenty two point lead for Tories touts Telegraph
Conservatives clap to celebrate clear lead as misdirectional muppetry
f/makes news yet again after the Telegraph published the definitely not at
all orchestrated and not tailored...
Storm Eleanor wreaks havoc after gate left open on wind farm
Met Office issues "risk to life" warnings with wind speeds over 80mph expected overnight.
It has been revealed that Storm Eleanor, the latest storm to...
Daily Express readers desperately hoping new Royal baby is a ginger
Daily Express readers up and down the country have welcomed the news of Duchess of Sussex's pregnancy by crossing all of their fingers and...
May announces textile regeneration scheme for the Northern Powerhouse
As the race for the Tory Party Leadership heats up, Teresa May has today announced transformative economic reform plans for the Northern Powerhouse.
The ambitious...
Rupert Murdoch still on course to become Britain’s longest-serving Prime Minister
With only two days of campaigning left before the general election, polling suggests that Rupert Murdoch is still on course to become Britain’s longest-serving...
Muppet fury over South West Trains slur
Muppets across Britain are furious today after learning that the name of their species was used as a slur to describe vandals by an...
Theresa May: Donald Trump told me to grab EU by the pussy
Donald Trump told Theresa May that she should "grab the EU by the pussy" rather than ask for its consent, according to an interview...
Labour Party member forced to deny he’s joined a cult
A Labour Party member who has attended their conference has been forced to deny he has joined a cult.
Bill Board has spent the last...
Harry and Meghan choose poisonous flowers for wedding as symbol of their love
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have announced they've chosen to symbolise their love with poisonous flowers.
Digitalis or, Foxgloves as they're more commonly known will...
Man who forgot to take smartphone to loo with him makes full recovery
A bloke who forgot to take his iPhone to the toilet with him this morning has made a “complete” recovery following “breakthrough” treatment with...
