Captain Tom finally able to pay Wonga loan off
Captain Tom Moore is reportedly thrilled that his fundraising has been so successful that he's finally able to pay off a loan he took...
Britain gears up for Dianageddon
A lack of Britain shooting itself in the foot and Donald Trump not doing something stupid for a few days has left Britain to...
Sturgeon gives birth to kittens as court rules Scottish Parliament won’t be consulted on...
Nicola Sturgeon is recovering after unexpectedly going into labour and giving birth to a litter of kittens at Holyrood this afternoon.
Dreadlocked protestor’s skin’s sensitivity to climate change successfully protects her from death in custody
Extinction Rebellion activist deliberately intended to get herself arrested, safely
With parts of the nation's capital experiencing air almost as clean as Rochdale's, we caught...
Roller coaster that maimed young people perfect metaphor for Brexit says The Sun
The Sun "Newspaper" has chosen to symbolise Brexit using a picture of the Alton Towers roller coaster, The Smiler.
One reader commented, "It's strange that...
Red Weather Warning as Conservative Politicians spotted with hands in own pockets
With temperatures plummeting across the British Isles, many patriotic politicians are complaining at their lack of opportunities to escape the country.
Conservative Politicians Jeremy Hunt,...
Royal Mail agrees to launch new £6 first class Brexit stamp
The Royal Mail have announced a special stamp to commemorate Brexit today. The stamp will be a first class stamp and cost £6.
The Daily...
Sheffield City Council declares state of emergency after residents are forced to have a...
Sheffield City Council have declared a state of emergency after some residents reported taking a bath.
Brightside resident Stand Still told us, "It's been 12...
Trident satnav and sellotape cutbacks a mistake admits Michael Fallon
Top honcho at the MOD, the right honourable Sir Michael Fallon MP, has admitted that cutbacks in the Trident programme may have contributed to...
Doubling homelessness through reduced spending on welfare is excellent value claim Tories
As the National Audit Office revealed that homelessness of all kinds has doubled over the past 6 years, a Tory spokesman has confirmed that...
Ant and Dec to host Coronavirus Daily Update
Following the news that The Daily Coronavirus Update is losing viewers faster than America is running out of MolotovCocktails, BBC producers have paid an undisclosed...
That’ll Show Them…
Racists reacted with predictable denial today when faced with the reality that the punishments they frequently recommend for those seeking asylum, immigrants and generally...
Big Ben to be renamed Massive Mohammed from 2018
Equality campaigners have welcomed plans to rename Big Ben as part of a project celebrating London's rich cultural heritage.
The famous landmark, which is due...
No we don’t want to build a bloody snowman, confirm children
Children around the UK have confirmed that they don't want to build another bloody snowman.
With rain, sleet, snow and more bloody awful weather forecast...
Future election results to be based on pandemic exam model
Following the overwhelming success of the Department of Education's strategy of grading academic exam results based on teachers' predicted grades and previous attainment levels,...
If it wasn’t for my £4m house and investment portfolio I’d be practically penniless,...
Nigel Farage, the former leader of Ukip, has told The Rochdale Herald that if it wasn't for his £4M house, his £2.5M investment portfolio...
