People that pull statues down to face different level of justice to people that...
The Government has confirmed that the people that pulled a statue down over the weekend will face a different level of justice to those...
Working class couple getting married
A working class couple, Steven Dickinson and Barbara Stevenson, who don't own a string of polo ponies, are due to get married at a...
Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people
Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people.
One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...
David Davis-Brexit Speech in full
In a monumentous speech to the House of Commons yesterday, the Brexit Minister David Davis set out the government's plans for taking Britain out...
I’ll poo wherever I like, says baby
6 month old Tommy Leadbetter from Romford has spoken exclusively to The Rochdale Herald about how he manages his toilet regime.
"First I was...
Middle aged man now communicating entirely by sighing
Authorities in Lancashire are trying to solve the riddle of a man in Rochdale who is now communicating with the outside world only by...
Chilcott’s Trojan War Report ready in the next few days
Sir John Chilcott has announced his long overdue enquiry into the Trojan War could be ready "within a matter of days".
The report, long overdue...
American tourists Popeye cockup
A group of American tourists are threatening to sue a Birmingham hotel , after claiming that the owners have exposed them to humiliation and...
Britain prepares to spend weekend listening to pensioners contrived war stories
British pensioners are gearing up for this weekend’s festival of remembrance by remembering their contrived war stories.
Many, like 78 year old Justin Case, spent...
Amber Rudd denies plan to make immigrants wear targets
Amber Rudd was today left with egg on her face after a leaked email detailing a new strategy to combat immigration levels and increase...
Adorable baby will grow up to be massive bellend
The parents of an adorable baby in the borough of Rochdale were dismayed to learn today that statistically it is very likely that he...
To a POTUS – a poem by Rabbi Burns
To a POTUS
Yon tangerine faced Yankee prick,
that makes the people aw feel sick,
who has a little tiny dick
and a big red button
He's welcome not...
Druids “fecking knackered” after moving Stonehenge an hour forward
With the season now officially spring, clocks up and down the nations have been moved forward one hour to adjust to British Summer Time;...
Man believes in equality because he has daughters
A man has confirmed today that he is “totally woke” on the issues facing women today, because he has made not just one, but...
DUP B.U.N.G. to be funded through NI contributions
British Unity Nationally Guaranteed
Treasury Minister Terry Axe announced today that British Unity Nationally Guaranteed (aka B.U.N.G.) payments will start shortly as part of delivering...
Labour Party pledge to make it cheaper for young people to get stabbed on...
The Labour Party has announced a new policy that will allow young people to get stabbed on night buses much more cheaply.
Labour spokesman, Stan...
