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Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous getting mixed up on a massive scale

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People have been mixing up the Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous on a massive scale, it has emerged. Things came to a head recently when...

Nuttall loses close personal seats in election disaster

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Accident prone Paul Nuttall, leader of UKIP, faced fresh tragedy today after learning that all his ‘close personal seats’ were lost in an election...
Snow on trees

Rochdale Council to vote on plan to colour snow

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Rochdale Council are to consider a plan to colour snow to make it more representative of the cultural mix of the area. The Rochdale Multi-Cultural...
Student Loans Company

Bloke from the Student Loans Company still thinks they’re getting their money back

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A delusional representative of the Student Loans Company has said that he is still optimistic that they might get some of the money back...
Babybel

Criticism as Babybel announces ‘Baby Cheeses’ advent calendar

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The company that makes Babybel cheese has faced criticism from a right wing group over its "Baby Cheeses" advent calendar. The company had announced the...
Rees Mogg

Rees-Mogg puts his clock back 200 years

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Jacob Rees-Mogg has, today woken up in 1818 after instructing his Valet to put his clock back 200 years. His Butler, Riff Raff told us,...
Audi

Sixty grand on four wheel drive for one off drive to work in snow...

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A man has confirmed that his choice of Audi Quattro was justified by the recent inclement weather. Chris Lupton spent most of the morning in...

KFC chicken shortage averted with introduction of all new recipe

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KFC lovers around the country are thrilled that their local branches are reopening with an all new menu. Chiefs at the multi-national fast-food chain have...

Man singing “Free Tommy Robinson” thought he was entering competition to meet him

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A man who spent yesterday in London singing "Free Tommy Robinson" has said he thought he was entering a competition to meet him. Dave Wild...
Martin Roberts

Martin Roberts Demands Recount.

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Property botherer and dreadful chef Martin Roberts has demanded a recount following his failure to be elected President of the Jungle in this year's...

British public says Nigel Farage can have peerage now so long as we don’t...

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“It’s like Frankenstein’s monster. You create this and release it there is no telling what harm it will do once it realises it has thumbs. Better instead to give the chancer a Lordship and let him never turn up to the House of Lords. It will be exactly the same as his ‘work’ as an MEP. Put him on a few committees and you’ll never see him again.”
fox cubs

Corbyn supports hunting with dogs repeal in Government manifesto

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Jeremy Corbyn has pledged to support the Conservative Party's promise to repeal the fox hunting ban. This appears to be the result of him mishearing...
Grimsby

Earthquake rescue workers assured Grimsby is fine, it’s supposed to look like that

Earthquake rescue teams from around the globe were told to stand down today after they descended en masse on Grimsby in Lincolnshire following reports...

To be fair I was pissed, says Nigel 2.0 candidate

Steven Woolfe, the chief xenophobe-in-waiting of totally unracist UKIP party has been caught out forgetting things. Again. After forgetting to apply for the candidacy he's standing...

Aliens Behind Trotskist Entryism, Claims Watson

Speaking from inside a tent made entirely of tinfoil, Deputy Leader of the The Labour Party told us that Aliens from the planet Luminx8-B...

Queen to greet Donald Trump with narwhal tusk

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Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to the UK...

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