Bloke in leather jacket thinks he looks cool

A leather jacket being worn by an overweight middle-aged northern bloke is utterly failing to make him look cool. Steve Dickinson’s faux vintage black leather...

Boris Johnson praises BBC for spending £250m on non-existent PPE for the Proms

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Boris Johnson has said that Britain shouldn't be ashamed about the BBC's decision to spend £250m on non-existent PPE for the Last Night of...

Band Aid 2016 to raise Buckingham Palace repair costs

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A new version of 'Do they Know is Christmas?' has been released in time for the Christmas number one top spot. The track by Bob...
Begging

Beggars fined for begging to pay begging fines

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Vulnerable homeless people are now being forced into longer begging hours to pay the newly introduced fines for begging. In another PR triumph for...
Socks and a tie on Rochdale man's Christmas list

Paul Golding Christmas Carol

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Jingle Bells My cell smells It's gloomy and its rank I only pissed some Muslims off Now I'm sitting in the tank. Hey Jingle Bells This is hell I don't think...

Sun exposes Cable as Strawberry fool

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Liberal democrat leadership candidate "SIR" Vince Cable has been left looking a plum strawberry fool after his claim that Britain was running out of...

Returning jihadis to be given free roast dinner at BUCKINGHAM PALACE

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Britons who travelled to Syria to fight for the so-called Islamic State will be welcomed back into the country with a FREE roast dinner...

Mother persuades her children to eat veg

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A hard working mother in West London is so desperate to get her children to eat vegetables she has put out a call for...

Man discovers he’s middle aged after getting neck injury whilst putting jumper on

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A Rochdale man has come to the realisation he's middle aged after sustaining a neck injury whilst putting on a jumper. Stan Still, 38, said,...

Eric Bristow MBE says beaten women aren’t ‘proper men’

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The pie faced gravy rhyming bastard, who obtained Royal recognition for being good at throwing things made the comment after a series of ill...

Britain is a sitting duck claims defence chief

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In the face of rumoured cuts to defence spending, Sir Nick Carter The Chief of the General Staff, today warned of Russia's 'eye-watering'...
Countryfile

BBC Countryfile Filming Suspended After Presenter Gets Parking Ticket

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Filming of cutting edge BBC show Countryfile was dramatically suspended last night after one of the presenters was accused of parking illegally. Previously well respected...

Skeletor still ‘pretty buff’ for a skeleton

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Men's Health Magazine today announced its annual Top Ten Fittest Male Celebs list with actor, recently elected DUP MP and self proclaimed evil overlord Skeletor...
Colin Firth

Leave.EU tells orphaned bear to “piss off back to Peru”

14
Coming over here, shitting in our woods... A small bear arrived in this country some years ago. The friendly bear, with his old hat, battered...
fire safety experts

Fire safety experts admit fire escapes probably not best place for massive explosive gas...

1
Camden fire chiefs are today red faced at having to admit to missing bleedin' obvious fire hazards in poor peoples' containment blocks on all...
Car Crash

Uber to consult UK Government for advice on dealing with driverless car crashes

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Following the tragic death of a pedestrian knocked down by a driverless Uber vehicle, the taxi giant confirmed it would be consulting UK Government...

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