Torch lit procession marks start of UKIP party conference

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UKIP's party conference has got off to a spectacular start with an evening torch procession in honour of Nigel Farage through the streets of...
Arguing Old Women

Scone versus scone pronunciation debate hits 14th consecutive hour

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It's National Cream Tea Day, which means across the nation the fine china is taken off the Welsh dresser and selections of finger sandwiches...

More Guardian Subscriptions Cancelled Over Fresh Crossword Slur

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Following yesterday's scandal that saw literally units of enraged Scotts cancelling their subscriptions, The Guardian's simple crossword this morning poured fresh fuel onto the...

Trump storms out of NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appears in orange face

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Donald Trump has flounced off from a NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appeared to mock his appearance by appearing in 'orange face'. The incident took...

Leadsom bookies favourite in cabinet deadpool

Professional sexist and political hot potato Andrea Leadsom was under fire yesterday following revelations that her comments about motherhood in The Times during her...

Nuttall Lost Close Personal Friends When They Discovered He Was An Arsehole

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UKIP leader Paul Nuttall lost 'close personal friends' when they discovered he was a bigoted, racist arsehole. “People started to shun me and sometimes even...
Grimsby

Earthquake rescue workers assured Grimsby is fine, it’s supposed to look like that

Earthquake rescue teams from around the globe were told to stand down today after they descended en masse on Grimsby in Lincolnshire following reports...

Boris Johnson to be blasted into space

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The Government has announced that Boris Johnson is to be sent into space as part of its new space program. An insider told us, "We'll...

Young people urged to move to areas with cheaper housing and spend savings on...

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The Government is to tell young people that they should move away from urban centers in order to pay less rent. With rents increasing in...

Dreadlocked protestor’s skin’s sensitivity to climate change successfully protects her from death in custody

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Extinction Rebellion activist deliberately intended to get herself arrested, safely With parts of the nation's capital experiencing air almost as clean as Rochdale's, we caught...

Bishop of Coventry confused over sexuality

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The Right Reverend Christopher Cocksworth has admitted to sexual confusion, after screwing up a General Synod vote on gay marriage. "I didn't know which way...

Theresa May Reads A Christmas Carol Backwards To Give It A Happy Ending

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It's one of the most famous stories, if not the most famous, in the English language. It's been made into countless films, plays and...

Rochdale Chip Shop In Heartwarming Tale Of Generosity

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The owner of a Rochdale takeaway shop that delivered a bag of brown heroin to an ailing customer, along with their dinner, has said reaction to...

UKIP Needs Image Change, Says Rest of UK.

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The UK has today agreed with former UKIP leadership challenger Suzanne Evans when she said the party needed an image change. Preferably to a...
People on bus laughing

Religious fervour hits Rochdale bus passengers

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A local member of one of the world's 4200 religions is utterly convinced that his is the correct one.   Stating confidently that “It is,...

People with no connection to the USA celebrate Independence Day

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People with absolutely no connection to the United States of America have been inexplicably celebrating US Independence Day today. Cliff Edge told us, "I got...

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