Britain has said that it’s perfectly equipped to make a success of Brexit even though shops that sell things for a pound are closing.

Business analyst, Twyford Shrub said, “The fall in the pound and the resultant rising costs of buying things in that were being made cheaply abroad has nothing to do with it. This is definitely nothing to do with Brexit. If anything, Brexit will be great for pound shops. In the future we can see a time of great expansion for pound shops. In the future entire high streets will exist solely of pound shops. This is just a temporary blip whilst the market re-aligns.”

Shoppers said the internet had probably not helped. One said, “I just go into pound shops so I can Google the products and by them for 50 pence online.”

Another said, “I can’t say I ever buy anything from them. Truth be told I only came in so that I could get out of the rain.”

One shopper was quite nostalgic, “Pound shops of like, the people’s shops. Doesn’t matter who you are you can always pick up some bin liners and savoury snacks in them. It’ll be a tragedy if it goes under. The Government should step in and save it. Obviously, it would be better if the people shopped in the people’s shops but modern life just isn’t like that. I’d shop there myself but Aldi is better value. Perhaps I’ll go back once Brexit is over and Aldi has been booted out of the country.”

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Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.